Picture this: It’s a dull Sunday afternoon in Azeroth. Everyone in our little Warcraft community was off doing their own thing—some were grinding reputation, others were gathering herbs, and the rest were probably sorting out their bags for the millionth time. But a few of us were sitting in voice chat, bored out of our minds.
Then, inspiration hit. Or maybe it was desperation.
“What if we,” someone started, “made a Star Trek: The Next Generation guild?”
Silence.
Then, laughter. This was either the best or worst idea we’d ever had, but it didn’t matter. We were doing it.
That’s how The Enterprise guild was born. Within minutes, we rolled new characters to look as close to the iconic Star Trek crew as the WoW character creator allowed. Captain Picard? Check. Deanna Troi? Absolutely. Dr. Crusher? You bet. Geordi LaForge? Done. Data? Nailed it. Worf? Oh yes. And of course, Wesley Crusher—because you can’t have a meme without him. We even made macros just to spam “Shut up, Wesley” whenever he spoke.
Dressed in our makeshift Star Trek uniforms (thanks to colored shirts for command, science, and engineering, black trousers, and boots), we strutted through Stormwind with more swagger than a full guild raid after downing a Mythic boss. Our “fazors” were actually wands, and our “tricorders” were engineering gadgets from god knows where. But we were on a mission, and nothing could stop us.
Captain Picard: “Number One, report the status of the landing party.”
Riker: “We’re in… some kind of medieval town. But I sense no advanced life forms.”
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Troi: “Captain, I’m sensing… confusion. People are staring.”
Data: “Fascinating. These beings appear to lack warp capability, though I calculate a 99.9% probability they have a rudimentary understanding of magic and combat. Shall I run a diagnostic?”
Wesley Crusher: “Can I—”
Everyone, in unison: “Shut up, Wesley!”
We marched straight into the Trade District of Stormwind, where roleplayers were going about their usual business—probably discussing important matters of court or politics. But as we entered, heads turned. There was a moment where the usual “For the King!” banter stopped, and the roleplayers all stared at us in stunned silence.
Guard (OOC): “Wtf?”
Worf: “I will destroy this place.”
Riker: “Worf, easy.”
The confusion among the crowd was palpable. Players gathered, whispering and pointing, trying to figure out what the hell they were witnessing. Was this an invasion? Were we a special event? Nope, just five idiots with too much free time.
Picard: “We are Starfleet. We come in peace.”
Stormwind Guard: “You… you need to leave.”
Troi: “Captain, I sense hostility. These people have no respect for diplomacy.”
Picard: “We must uphold the Prime Directive. Do not engage.”
That was, of course, until someone yelled, “There’s a Klingon in the Mage District!” and Worf took it as a personal challenge. He charged off, roaring, while the rest of us tried to keep up.
Then, out of nowhere, Captain Marcus Goodwin and Sergeant Boltar of the Stormwind City Guards appeared, looking incredibly serious as always.
Marcus: “Halt, Starfleet! You’re under arrest for public disturbance!”
Boltar: “And public weirdness, sir.”
Picard: “Public disturbance? I assure you, we are officers of the Federation.”
Marcus: “Federation or not, you’re violating the peace. And we don’t take kindly to tricorders.”
Cue an epic chase scene through the streets of Stormwind, with Marcus and Boltar hot on our heels. We sprinted through the Trade District, dodging roleplayers, with Marcus shouting commands and Boltar almost tripping over his cape. Our tricorders were useless, and Worf had already gotten lost in the Dwarven District, shouting Klingon curses at anyone who got in his way.
Eventually, we were “caught” and roleplay-dragged into the Stockades. But we didn’t care. We had fulfilled our mission: complete chaos, all in the name of Star Trek.
And as the guards locked us up, we saluted each other. Mission accomplished.