While I was buried in the evenings, healing my little heart out as an epic priest, the altaholic tendencies began to take root. You know how it is—once you catch the alt bug, it’s all downhill from there. So, naturally, I rolled another character. Enter Cerria, my adorable, tree-hugging, herb-picking, slightly confused Night Elf druid.

Cerria wasn’t just any druid—oh no. She was the kind of night elf who only spoke in Darnassian, which made questing and communicating with anyone outside of Teldrassil super interesting. Picture this: I’m out in the wilds, some brave paladin is trying to chat with me, and there’s Cerria, spouting poetic elvish gibberish while the paladin is like, “Uh… do you need help?”

The answer is yes. I always needed help.

The Druid Life: Versatility on Steroids

Druids are hands down one of the most versatile classes in World of Warcraft, and if you disagree with me, you clearly didn’t spend hours shifting between animal forms like an indecisive shapeshifter on a sugar high.

Let’s break it down:

• Tree Healer: If you ever wanted to be a magical, leafy healer, welcome to Tree of Life form, where you sway in the wind like a majestic shrub while healing your party with the power of photosynthesis.

• Boomkin: Ah, the boomkin. A chunky, chicken-shaped caster who throws out stars and moonfire while waddling around like a poultry sorcerer. You know you’ve made it in life when your caster form is a feathery, rotund owl-creature that does serious damage while looking like it’s going to trip over its own talons.

• Tankabear: Want to tank but also be unbearably cute? Tankabear has you covered. Cerria could shapeshift into a bear that would take hits like a champ. The downside? You moved at the speed of a snail on sedatives, and trying to dodge attacks was like steering a barge in a kiddie pool. But hey, at least you were fuzzy.

• Kitty Rogue Combo: The most glorious form of all—the feral kitty! Cerria would sneak around in stealth, a sleek predator, the very image of grace. Until, of course, I misclicked and pounced on the wrong mob, leading to a kitty death that was anything but dignified. Let’s just say, learning how to properly play feral druid was like trying to give a real cat a bath—spiky, messy, and full of regret.

Vanilla WoW: Not Always Kind to Druids

Now, let me be real—Vanilla wasn’t always kind to druids. We were often treated like the strange Swiss army knives of the game: capable of doing everything but not necessarily good at anything. But I didn’t care. I was obsessed with Cerria. Whether she was healing, tanking, or accidentally pulling mobs in cat form, she had my heart. Sure, she was a bit squishy, and sometimes her healing felt like trying to fill a bucket with a teaspoon, but she was mine.

And the best part? Cerria was a herb picker and alchemist, so every time we went on a raid or quest, she was there in the background, picking flowers and brewing potions like a stoned botanist at a festival. You could always count on her for a well-timed heal and a random vial of nature resistance.

The Alt that Became a Main

As time went on, Cerria became more than just a little alt I played on the side. She blossomed into my main—because let’s face it, once you start shapeshifting into different animals, there’s no going back. Today, she’s still around, prowling through Azeroth, picking herbs and occasionally tanking for the next generation of adventurers.

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So, if you ever see Cerria in-game, feel free to wave! She might not understand you (she’s still not great with Common), but she’ll definitely wave back in some incomprehensible druidic language.

And yes, I’m still feral at heart, sneaking around like a cat trying to find the next big adventure… or, more likely, the next batch of herbs to pick.

Cerria, Duffy, and the Art of Miscommunication

Cerria wasn’t just a solo adventurer in the great lands of Azeroth. Oh no, she had a best friend—the one and only Duffy. You remember Duffy, right? The guild clown, the comic relief, and the reason Cerria’s grasp of the Common tongue was an absolute disaster. Duffy had made it his life’s mission to teach Cerria Common, which, as you can imagine, turned into a series of hilarious roleplay moments.

What Cerria didn’t realize was that Duffy’s version of Common was… let’s say, Duffy-fied. Every lesson was just one big trolling opportunity. I should have seen it coming. He was the kind of guy who would spend hours making sure you called your armor “clothes” and your battle cry “a tickle yell.”

Enter Drakhan: The Night Elf Superman in Plate Armor

One such moment occurred during Brewfest, a glorious festival in World of Warcraft where everyone is drunk off their mounts, both literally and figuratively. If you’ve never experienced Brewfest, let me explain: it’s a time of year when the entire server pretends to be dwarves, swilling down ale and riding rams while trying not to vomit. Naturally, Cerria and Duffy were front and center, fully embracing the chaos.

We were standing around at the Brewfest tents when Drakhan—the hunk of a Night Elf warrior—joined us. Let me set the scene: Drakhan was the main tank for one of the most prestigious raid guilds on the server. Think Superman, but instead of a cape, he’s decked out in glistening plate armor, wielding a sword so massive it could cut through the fabric of reality. He was stoic, calm, and could take a hit like nobody’s business. A true legend.

So here we are, all having a good time, and Cerria—after downing her fifth mug of Brewfest ale—lets out the most epic burp Azeroth has ever heard. I’m talking a seismic, mountain-shaking belch that could knock a troll off his feet. But because Duffy had “patiently” explained to her that burps were actually farts, Cerria turns to Drakhan, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and says in her best Duffy-taught Common:

“Excuse my throat farted.”

Throat Farts and Awkward Silences

The look Drakhan gave Cerria could only be described as the perfect mixture of shock, confusion, and sheer disbelief. You could practically hear the gears grinding in his brain as he tried to comprehend what he had just heard. This was the main tank of a renowned raid guild, mind you, a man used to leading warriors into battle and strategizing for hours. Yet here he was, completely derailed by one tiny, drunken Night Elf whose understanding of the Common language was as reliable as a gnome’s rocket boots.

After a long, awkward silence, Drakhan—bless him—switched over to Darnassian (because clearly, this was a matter best handled in the mother tongue) and gently explained in that calm, stoic voice:

“Cerria… that’s not what Duffy meant. Burps are not farts. Farts are farts.”

Duffy’s Ultimate Troll

Of course, Duffy—who had been watching this entire exchange from the sidelines—was absolutely losing it in chat. He was rolling on the floor, spamming emotes, cackling away, and taking zero responsibility for the mess he’d caused. Because, of course, Duffy had been trolling Cerria all along. He found it hysterical to have her running around saying things like “throat farted” to anyone who would listen.

And poor Drakhan, who was just trying to enjoy his Brewfest, now had to explain basic bodily functions to a confused, tipsy druid while Duffy egged us on in the background.

The Story Isn’t Over…

I could tell you how Cerria responded, or how Drakhan managed to keep a straight face through it all, but I think I’ll leave you readers there—wondering what other misadventures Cerria and Drakhan might get up to. Their story isn’t over, not by a long shot, and I promise you, the next chapter is going to be just as entertaining as the last.

So remember: If you ever meet a Druid in-game who politely asks, “Excuse my throat farted,” just give her a wave and a smile—she probably had Duffy as a teacher.