Let’s set the scene. January 16, 2007—the release of The Burning Crusade. Back in those days, there were no fancy digital downloads. Nope, if you wanted your shiny new expansion, you had to physically leave your house, go to a shop, and buy it like a real-life adventurer. Except, of course, for those of us who thought we were smarter than the rest and pre-ordered it online. It was supposed to arrive early—ha! Yeah, sure.

I was one of those “smart” people. I had planned everything perfectly. I pre-ordered The Burning Crusade online, and according to the website, it was supposed to be delivered a day earlier. Everyone else’s was. I was ready. I was prepared.

Except… I wasn’t.

Release day rolls around. My friends are all sitting there, logged into Skype, laughing, waiting for me to join them outside the Dark Portal. But me? I’m sitting at home staring out the window like a lost puppy, waiting for the delivery truck to show up. They promised it would be there by 9 a.m.. Guess when it arrived? 11:05 a.m. The horror. But let me take you back to the chaotic Skype conversation that unfolded during this very traumatic time.

Lenora: “Is it there yet?”

Me: “No, Lenora, it’s not. Stop asking.”

Kersey: “We’re all standing here at the Dark Portal waiting to cross over with you. What are you doing?”

Anthonius: “We’re literally standing in front of it, holding hands like it’s some magical gateway to friendship, and you’re missing it.”

Me: “I hate all of you. I hope the fel energy burns your mounts.”

Elandariel: “Just so you know, I’ve already respecced. I’m totally min-maxed for leveling. Gonna hit 61 by tonight.”

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Me: “Oh, thanks for rubbing that in. You’re leveling while I’m sitting here waiting for my package like it’s Christmas morning, and Santa decided to skip my house.”

Lenora: “Did you check your front door again?”

Me: “Did I check my front door again?! Lenora, I’ve checked my front door so many times the mailman probably thinks I’m stalking him. If that box isn’t here in the next five minutes, I’m about to kite Teremus the Devourer into the delivery truck and let it handle him.”

Kersey: “Haha, remember when you and G kited Teremus the Devourer to Stormwind? That was one for the books.”

Me: “Don’t remind me. We almost destroyed the entire city.”

Anthonius: “We should do it again. But this time, let’s drop him off at the post office and see if that speeds things up.”

Me: [laughs] “Seriously, I’m going to kite my frustration straight into that delivery truck and see what happens.”

Elandariel: “But you’d have to leave the house to buy yarn. That requires going outside, and we all know that’s not happening.”

Lenora: “Guys, guys, don’t worry, the delivery estimate says it’s on its way! By the time it gets there, she’ll only be two levels behind.”

Me: [groans dramatically] “Two levels behind?! At this rate, you’re all going to be raiding Karazhan before I even step through the portal!”

Kersey: “Look on the bright side, the demons in Outland might give you some fashion advice on your new green gear when you finally make it. It’s a… look.”

Anthonius: “Oh yeah, I’m already mixing epics with greens, and let me tell you, it’s like the Twilight Highlands threw up on my character. But hey, at least my axe is huge.”

Lenora: “And speaking of new gear, have you checked Thottbot for all the new loot? There are so many upgrades now, you’ll be drowning in epics once you catch up!”

Me: “YOU’RE REPLACING NAXX LOOT ALREADY?! WHAT EVEN IS THIS GAME?!”

At 11:05 a.m., after hours of torture and endless “Is it there yet?” questions, the package finally arrived. I tore it open like a rabid animal and slapped that disc into my PC faster than you could say “For the Alliance.”

And my friends, who had been waiting so patiently, standing outside the Dark Portal like a group of true adventurers, finally got their wish. Together, we stepped through the glowing gateway into Outland, where, within minutes, all my shiny epics were replaced by green quest rewards.

Because that’s what The Burning Crusade was about—leaving your glory behind and embracing a new, mismatched wardrobe of power.

Welcome to Outland, baby.