So, here I am, level 8 and feeling pretty good about myself. I’ve been wandering through Teldrassil, killing boars, dying to grells, and avoiding saber cats. But now, I’m standing at the gates of Darnassus. The city. The hub of the Night Elves. I’ve made it.

And the first thing that hits me? How blindingly white everything is. I mean, it’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong—pristine marble buildings, shining bridges, and these towering white trees that sparkle like they were plucked from a Disney movie. It’s all very ethereal and elven, but honestly, it’s like someone took the brightness slider in the game and cranked it all the way up. I’m squinting as I walk around, trying to take it all in.

I could spend all day just exploring this place—seriously, it’s like a dream. There are these glowing purple streams running through the city, beautiful hanging lanterns, and elegant wooden walkways. You feel like you’re walking through the pages of some high fantasy novel. But as pretty as it is, I’ve got quests to do, levels to gain, and roleplayers to avoid (more on that in a second).

Before I get too far, let me tell you something about role-playing servers. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I thought it was just where people liked to get in character now and then, right? No big deal. I log in, head into Darnassus, and suddenly, I’m surrounded by elves speaking in thees and thous. One guy in chat claimed he was the “great-great-grandchild of Tyrande,” and another was hosting some kind of Elune worship circle by the fountain. I kind of love it, honestly. It adds a weird charm to the world, but… I’m not quite ready for all of that yet. So, I slip past the intense roleplayers and head to my next quest.

And then came The Relics of Wakening. Oh, this quest. This innocent-looking quest, which would soon become the bane of my early Warcraft existence. The quest itself? Pretty straightforward. Let me read it to you:

“Gnarlpine invaders were seen ravaging the Ban’ethil Barrow Den to the west.

The slumbering druids will be trapped in the Emerald Dream for eternity, unaware of their fate, unless we help. The delicate hibernation ritual cannot be broken without the Relics of Wakening.

Journey to the Den and retrieve the Raven Claw Talisman, Black Feather Quill, Sapphire of Sky, and Rune of Nesting. The druids store them in sacred chests. Return them to me and I will prepare the awakening ritual.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Sounds easy, right? Just pop into this little burrow, grab four relics, and run back. I thought, “I’ve got this. It’ll take me like 20 minutes, tops.”

Oh, how naive I was.

Let’s start with the fact that I’m wearing a robe. Why? Because it’s pretty. It’s this purple, flowy thing with stars and sparkles, and even though I’m supposed to be a hunter wearing leather armor and all that, I decided to prioritize fashion. Who needs agility when you can look this fabulous, am I right? Anyway, that decision may have contributed to what followed.

I smugly head off into the Ban’ethil Barrow Den, full of confidence. The entrance is this dark, foreboding hole in the ground. I step inside, fully prepared to own this quest. I’m going to grab those relics and get out in no time.

Nope.

The place is a maze. And I don’t mean just, like, “oh, it’s a little confusing.” I mean, it’s a full-blown, subterranean nightmare. I take a few steps in, turn a corner, and immediately realize I’m lost. There’s a lower level, an upper level, tunnels everywhere, and everything looks the same. I tell myself, “It’s fine, just retrace your steps.” Spoiler alert: I do not retrace my steps. I get turned around so many times, I think I’m going in circles. But I press on because I am a brave, level 8 Night Elf, and nothing is going to stop me.

Except maybe the Gnarlpine furbolgs.

Now, these guys aren’t too tough individually. But when you turn a corner and there are suddenly three of them waiting for you, things go south fast. My hunter skills are… questionable. I manage to take down two of them, but then I realize I’m out of arrows. Classic. I switch to my melee weapon—some terrible dagger—and start flailing wildly, hoping for the best. That’s when I die.

So, I resurrect and, determined to finish the quest, try again. But here’s the thing about these burrows. The enemies respawn so fast, it’s like the game is actively messing with you. I’ll kill one group, head deeper into the tunnels, and turn around to find the same group has respawned, blocking my path out. It’s like some kind of evil Groundhog Day, but with furbolgs.

Three hours later, I’m still there. I’ve got two relics, but no idea where the other two are. I’ve died at least ten times. My robe is covered in dirt, and Kaiser is giving me this look like, “Are we really still doing this?”

At this point, I’m googling maps of the Barrow Den, trying to figure out where I went wrong. But the thing is, every map is just as confusing as the tunnels. I go up, down, left, right, and somehow end up in the same spot over and over. I’ve never felt so lost in a game in my life.

I’m starting to question my life choices. Why did I even pick this quest? What kind of cruel developer designed this dungeon? Why am I still wearing this robe that offers zero protection?

Finally—after what feels like an eternity—I find the last relic. I grab it and sprint for the exit, dodging furbolgs like my life depends on it (which it does). When I finally burst out into the sunlight, I’m sweaty, exhausted, and a little bit traumatized. But I did it. I survived the Barrow Den.

Never again. At least, not until the next quest sends me back in there.

And so, I turn in the quest. My reward? A piece of leather armor. I think it’s the game’s way of telling me to ditch the robe and get serious. But let’s be real—I’m probably keeping it. Fashion over stats, right?

• Lexi (and Ana the Hunter)