It was the calm before the storm. Well, not really calm, more like the “chaotic frenzy before all hell broke loose” because the pre-expansion event for World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade was the kind of party you knew was going to get out of hand the minute the first demon strolled through the door. And by “door,” I mean the Dark Portal, and by “strolled,” I mean invaded like it was Black Friday at Best Buy.

Welcome to “The Dark Portal Opens” event, where demons, dreadlords, and fel hounds poured out of the portal like they’d been promised an all-you-can-eat buffet of players. The quest itself? Pretty simple—kill six invading fel guards. Six. You’d think that would be easy. But oh no, because while you’re trying to kill your six fel guards, every other player on the server is also trying to kill six of them too. And it was a fel-guard feeding frenzy.

The Tabard of the Protector: Wear It with Pride… If You Can Get It

What was all the fuss about? A tabard. Not just any tabard, though—the Tabard of the Protector. This shiny piece of cloth was basically a badge of honor that screamed, “I survived the demon apocalypse, and all I got was this lousy tabard.” Okay, maybe it wasn’t that lousy. It came with a cool on-use effect that would make your character flex and glow, which was the perfect way to show off after a hard day of demon-slaying. It was basically the WoW equivalent of a gym selfie.

So, you’d group up near the Dark Portal with a bunch of other desperate, tabard-hungry players, hoping to get those precious demon tags before someone else swooped in and stole your kill. It was pandemonium. Demons everywhere, players running around like headless chickens, and the chat was just a stream of:

“LF Demon tags!!”

“FEL GUARD HERE, TAG IT FAST!!”

“Need more heals!!”

The scene was like trying to hail a cab in New York during rush hour, except the cabs were demons, and you were fighting 40 other people for the same ride.

Demons, Dreadlords, and Fel Hounds, Oh My!

It wasn’t just fel guards, either. The whole place was crawling with dreadlords and fel hounds. These weren’t your garden-variety demons, either. They were the kind that made you wonder if they’d been taking steroids while hanging out in the Twisting Nether. They hit hard, and if you weren’t paying attention (which, let’s be honest, I often wasn’t), you’d find yourself taking an unexpected dirt nap.

You’d think we’d all band together against the demonic onslaught, right? Wrong. Instead, we were too busy competing for kills to notice that the demons were, you know, trying to kill us. It was like fighting over the last piece of cake while the kitchen’s on fire.

Some players recommend grouping up to complete the quest. Yeah, grouping up was essential unless you were ready to throw your keyboard across the room after someone stole your sixth fel guard kill for the third time.

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The Burning Crusade: The Real Party Begins

All this madness was leading up to the release of The Burning Crusade in 2007—the first expansion for World of Warcraft. This was the expansion that changed everything. For starters, we got two new playable races:

1. The Draenei – Space goats with glowing blue eyes, hooves, and a backstory involving spaceships crashing into Azeroth. I kid you not.

2. The Blood Elves – Elegant, magical, and with an addiction problem. No, seriously, they were addicted to magic. The Blood Elves basically rolled up to the party with an “I’m too fabulous for this” attitude and a need to suck magic out of everything.

Not to mention, we got a whole bunch of new spells and abilities to play with. Burning Crusade was also when we were introduced to Outland—a planet that had seen better days, now teeming with demons, ogres, and flying islands. Think of it as Azeroth’s version of a post-apocalyptic theme park, with Illidan Stormrage himself waiting at the top of the food chain.

So, there I was, standing at the Dark Portal, fighting off demons while trying to get my hands on the Tabard of the Protector and watching as players frantically prepared for the expansion. Little did we know, this was just the beginning. Burning Crusade was about to take everything we knew about WoW and crank it up to eleven.

It was the dawn of a new era—one filled with space goats, fabulous elves, and way too many fel guards. And I couldn’t wait.

Tanaris and the Caverns of Time: The Ultimate Detour

But before we dive headlong into the Burning Crusade, let’s rewind a bit. You see, while all this Dark Portal chaos was going on, I was running around Azeroth with my usual gang—Lao, Anthonius, Kersey, and Elandariel—and we got this bright idea to check out Tanaris and the Caverns of Time. Big mistake.

The Caverns of Time were this magical, swirling vortex of “what the hell is happening,” but they weren’t exactly player-ready yet. That didn’t stop us from charging in like we were on some grand adventure. I mean, we’d heard rumors about all the cool stuff that was going to be there—time travel, dragons, epic quests—and of course, we had to see it for ourselves.

Spoiler: we got lost.

Anthonius: “Guys, I think this is the entrance.”

Kersey: “No, I’m pretty sure it’s over here. This tunnel looks promising.”

Elandariel: “We’ve been down that tunnel three times, Kersey.”

Lao: “Maybe we need to kill more scorpids. That always seems to solve problems.”

Meanwhile, I was facepalming so hard I was starting to see stars. We spent the better part of an hour wandering around like headless chickens, bumping into walls and arguing over which tunnel was the “right” one. Turns out, it didn’t even matter because the Caverns of Time weren’t open yet. They were just teasing us. It was like showing up for a party that hadn’t started and still deciding to make a mess of things anyway.

Me: “Guys, are we lost in time? Or just lost?”

Anthonius: “Same difference.”

We finally gave up and went back to Tanaris, sulking like a bunch of kids who’d just been kicked out of a theme park before getting to ride the roller coaster.

The Road to Outland

Despite the Caverns of Time debacle, we were pumped for The Burning Crusade. We’d heard about all the new things—epic flying mounts, new dungeons, and of course, Outland itself, which was basically a giant deathtrap for anyone who wasn’t paying attention. But hey, we were ready. Or at least we thought we were.

With the Dark Portal looming and the demons pouring out, all that was left to do was survive. That, and maybe not get lost in time again.