He woke up the following day with a niggling sense of disbelief about an even more insidious sense of certainty: That having spent a whole month in this new world and in this new reality; he was starting to get used to them. More importantly, that he was starting to get used to his demanding schedule; to the fact that not only did he have to wake up the same time on the weekend as the rest of week (after all, he was already conditioned to doing that before his accident made keeping an identical sleep schedule meaningless) but that he had to leave home (and was he starting to see his dorm room as home?) at the same time as the rest of the workweek for the purpose of what was essentially, work.
Not to mention that the work was of a very physical nature (although, he will never downplay the mental demand Lin’s lessons put on him). And that it wasn’t the only item of work on his agenda for the day. In short, despite the fact that he would’ve never imagined himself being able to keep to this kind of schedule, both week and weekend, the fact that he had just done that for the last four weeks was undeniable.
Which might go a long way to explain why Sam found himself opening the door to his friends after yet another day of following that grueling schedule, without much of the mental fatigue he was certain ought to have been there.
“Wait,” he said as he opened the door and saw only one friend of the supposed three, “where are Sarah and Felix?”
“Good evening, Yvessa,” said Yvessa, “good to see you.”
“Good evening, Yvessa, that kind of reproaching remark doesn’t suit you. Need help with that?” he asked as he closed the door behind her, pointing to the same two drink coolers from their last planned Saturday celebration.
“You’re actually offering?”
“Well, I got a lot more buff in those last three weeks. Also, I stand to lose nothing by offering, as there’s nothing to help with.”
Yvessa chuckled as she laid down the coolers by the foot of his bed. “I figured as much. The delivery from the restaurant is running late, so Sarah and Felix are still waiting for them at the gate. They sent me ahead with the drinks to help you get the place ready. As they assumed that you wouldn’t have made any effort in that department.”
“They assumed correctly. As I was promised that I would be able to transition seamlessly from cultivating straight to eating, thereby not wasting any studying or training time… Also, what is there to prepare for?”
“Nothing really. I assume that this is simply one of Sarah’s ploys to get you to train less on the weekend.”
“What? Does she think that simply because you’re here that I won’t allow myself to ignore you and go back to training? That’s absurd!”
“True. We could always both use this time to cultivate.”
“Yep. That’s what I like so much about gathering. You can always start doing it, no matter where you are or how much time you’ll have. It makes it so that you’ll always have something productive to do with your time.”
Yvessa nodded. “Unfortunately for you, though, I don’t feel like cultivating right now. And because there’s no way I’m going to allow myself to just sit in your room in silence while you cultivate, you’re going to have to entertain me for a change.”
“What? What do you mean, ‘don’t feel like cultivating?’ You’re a prodigy. You should always be willing to spend time bettering yourself if you’ve got nothing better to do! Like Sarah does.”
“Always be willing to spend time bettering myself…? People like that don’t actually exist. Even insane workaholics like Sarah, or Erianna, or you, can’t and shouldn’t act like that. No one can keep up with the kind of training that you’ve just described.”
“That’s ridiculous! All three of you guys, and especially Sarah, have been spending the last three weeks doing exactly what I’ve just described because I’ve been trying to do that and I’ve been basing myself on you three.”
“Yeah… I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’ve been pushing yourself way harder than any of us for the last three weeks. And even though Sarah was sort of keeping up with you for the first two, she started dropping back during the last week. Not to mention that the time she spent training was greater than her average, which for her is already more than mine or Felix, because she had a lot to make up for.”
Sam looked at her, trying to find the telltale clues of sarcasm and exaggeration somewhere in her tone. “Come off it,” he said when he was unable to find what he was looking for. “I get enough of that kind of baseless compliments from Sarah. I don’t need you to join the mix as well.”
“I’m not trying to compliment you, nor are my statements baseless. I’m just stating a fact: You might feel inclined to use this couple of minutes for cultivating, but I don’t. I’ve cultivated plenty today already, and I don’t want to spend any more of my time on training or studying. Matter of fact, I’d have been just as happy having this dinner at our usual time because I had no plans to do anything after it. Same with Felix and maybe even Sarah. You’re the only one of us who keeps so busy a schedule on a Saturday.”
“I’m not buying it.”
“No? By now, I know your weekend schedule by heart. So tell me then, how much of your allotted free time did you actually use for its intended purposes today?”
“Well… today’s not such a good example. Because I asked Lin to keep our lesson going longer than usual, as I wanted to roll breakfast and lunch into one. Because I knew we were going to gorge ourselves at dinner, not for any other reason. And he happily—or at least he didn’t showcase any unhappiness—agreed, since he didn’t have any other obligations for the day. Also, because we’re starting slashing and cutting next week—well, cutting first, maybe we won’t get to slashing just yet—so he probably thought that I’d be better off making sure my foundations were as firm as possible.”
Yvessa sat on his not-desk chair and stretched with a feigned, bored yawn. “So what does that mean, ‘rolling breakfast and lunch into one?’ That you only took time off for one meal?”
“Pretty much, yeah. I grabbed a couple of snacks for later in the day and ate them instead of going out for lunch. I mean, you guys do it yourself as well sometimes—plenty of students do, by how filled the mess hall is at lunch, especially lunch on Saturdays, when compared to other meals—so don’t come at me saying that it proves anything extraordinary on my part.”
“That depends. What did you do with that extra time you got for skipping lunch? Just roll it into your midday leisure time?”
“No… not today. But that’s only—”
“So that’s what? The hour for lunch, and the hour after, that weren’t used per your ‘ideal’ Saturday schedule? The schedule that was supposed to ensure that you have at least four extra hours of leisure time on the weekend? That you were adamant about needing to have when you complained to us about it numerous times?”
“Only an hour and a half! If lunch takes any longer than half an hour, then it’s because it became a social event, so it counts as part of the after lunch hour of rest.”
“Hour and a half? If I remember correctly, it was only an hour a week ago.”
“That’s different! I didn’t have to spend time on lunch because you guys brought it for me. That half an hour spent on lunch is an obligation of the body anyway. So there’s no ‘rest’ lost using it for studying like I did last week.”
Yvessa shook her head with a sigh. “You have got to see that you’re not making any sense. You’re only deluding yourself at this point.”
“Alright… I’ll grant you that last Saturday I worked during some of the time I was supposed to rest. But don’t forget that it was offset by dinner in the end.”
“Was it?”
Sam gulped. He hadn’t worked out the exact arithmetic of how his leisure and training time compared during that day. “I’m not sure… But that was just a one off. The week before that, I was perfectly in line with my weekend schedule!”
“More like that first Saturday was just a one off. Considering today, no?”
“That’s different. Today the schedule is all fudged up.”
“How? We made today’s plans specifically to cater to your usual schedule. There was nothing preventing you from keeping the same ratio of free and work time as your ideal schedule. Did you? Even taking your half an hour of lunch out of the equation, there’s still the hour after that. And I know for a fact that you didn’t use it because Felix told me you’ve texted him some questions during that time. Unless you’ve moved it forward today?”
“What? Do the three of you just have a Sam group chat? Relaying any information you guys have on me to each other?”
“You didn’t answer my question…”
“I could say the same thing about you.”
Yvessa chuckled. “Your question was nonsensical. But no, we don’t have any group chat dedicated to you. After all, the regular group chat fills that role quite nicely already.”
“Very funny.”
“I thought so too. Why I said it. But to answer your question, me and Felix went to combat practice together. He told me then.”
“What a fucking gossip.”
“Not really. He just said that, based on the questions you were asking him, that you were making really fast progress. He then wondered how much of it was you and how much of it was Dan.”
“And then you moved on and stopped talking about me because you’re normal people, right?”
“Just so. Although you’d probably want to change that phrasing for the future when Sarah is within earshot. So that’s your question answered then. What about mine?”
Sam grumbled. “Fine… You’re right. I didn’t take my usual hour break after lunch today. But! That’s only because I was on a roll, and I wanted to use my momentum to keep going. And I did have a fifteen minute break while waiting for Felix to text me back. I used it to eat the snacks. Even watched some videos during it so you can’t say that it was just lunch.”
“I’m not saying anything of the sort because I can’t bother to fight over meaningless technicalities like you’re doing for some reason. The only thing I am saying, is that I’m not being hyperbolic in the least when I tell you that you’ve been working harder than any of us three. And I don’t care if you believe me or not. I’m not trying to convince you of anything. I’m just trying to pass the time talking because I don’t have the patience to use the time we’re waiting for cultivating.”
“You have to realize that what you’re saying right now doesn’t match up with your usual lines towards me, though, right? You’re the one who’s always on me about how I have to work harder and keep pushing myself.”
“We’ve been over this already. I never said that you were taking it easy or being lazy. All I said, and I stand by it, is that the harder you push yourself now, the easier it will be for you in the long run. Because when you will eventually—and you will—have to slow down, your new routine will be easier to maintain. And I think that I’ve proved myself right. Obviously, you can’t keep pushing yourself like this forever, no human can. But when you do end up reaching a breaking point, your new ‘easy’ schedule will still be pretty damn hard by most people’s standards.”
“Why can’t I keep going as I am now, then? You’re always on about your best friend and how hard she pushes herself, after all. If she can keep this kind of schedule, then why can’t I?”
Yvessa raised an eyebrow. “So suddenly you’re convinced that you are working harder than me or Felix? As hard as Erianna is?”
“No. But I just take offense that however hard I’m working right now when compared to other people, that I can’t keep at it.” After all, I have to. Somehow. I just have to hope that it’ll get easier eventually.
“Look, Erianna is amazing. I’m always saying that as you’ve just claimed. Just like I’m always saying that it’s not healthy for a person’s mental health to compare oneself to her. She’s that rare combination where both talents and willpower are enough on their own to make a person a prodigy, but when put together, it’s enough for even prodigies like me to feel envious. And, she gets the added bonus of still truly enjoying many aspects of her training even after this long. You might think that cultivating is fine and dandy right now, that you’re able to stomach doing it whenever you have free time. But will you be able to keep it up after eight years of cultivating daily? Will you be able to derive satisfaction, a true sense of fulfillment and joy, from simply practicing your combat forms for hours every day? Will you always feel thirsty for new knowledge and never feel discouraged when you’re having a hard time digesting said knowledge? Obviously not. At least not always. Neither can I can, and neither can Felix nor Sarah. And neither can Erianna. But out of all the people I know, she’s the one who comes closest to the ideal of always being happy to train. Because that’s the kind of mindset Erianna has. That’s what it takes for people like us to keep dedicating so much of of time to strengthening ourself efficiently.”
Sam scoffed. “There’s no way that you’re not being hyperbolic now.”
She turned her hand in agreement. “You’re right, I am. But I’m closer to the truth than you might think. If—I suppose when is the better word. When you meet Erianna, you’ll see that she really is like that on some level. Certainly on her best days, she is. But talking up my best friend wasn’t my intention. I know for a fact that there are other people who work just as hard as she does, and some even more. And they’re able to do it almost consistently from the day of their Awakening all the way to their combat deployment, when their training has to be set aside from time to time. You want the truth, Sam, of what these people are like? A lot of them, fuck it, all of them, aren’t what you would call healthy, well-adjusted individuals. They have no other goal in life aside from being strong, no other reason to live. They can keep going weeks on end without needing to take a break because they have nothing to do during a break. And even those kinds of people still end up breaking if they push themselves too hard.
“You’re not like that. I’m not like that. And I’ll tell you a secret: Erianna sure as hell isn’t like that. She’s just able to seem like that because she truly enjoys most aspects of the process of getting stronger. In a way, she’s not really working any harder than you or me. She’s certainly not pushing herself as hard as, let’s say, you are. In the language of utility that you love using so much, her pain, her lack of pleasure, for keeping to her schedule is much lesser than yours. Which is why she can, sometimes, work as hard as you’ve been during the last two weeks. But I doubt that even she will be able to spend two and a half years having less than ten hours of free time every week like you seem hell bent on doing.”
Sam cleared his throat. “Who are some of the people who are able to train constantly that you mentioned?”
“I’m not giving you any more ‘role models.’ Did you not comprehend anything of what I said?”
“I did. I’m just curious. I’m also curious how come you’re all of a sudden adopted this Sarah persona of worrying about how much time I spent working compared to doing things just for fun.”
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
Yvessa tilted her head, apparently caught unaware that she was doing that. Or maybe surprised that Sam would misinterpret her behavior as such, for she said with a laugh, “I assure you, that wasn’t my intention. How hard you push yourself is of no interest to me, aside from being your friend and being aware of your value for the war effort. I have no problem with you keeping as you are now, at least as long as you stay with same mental state and don’t run the risk of having a meltdown. My intention was simply to present you with the way I see things. And then defend my assertion when you rejected it with no basis. Act upon my words or don’t. I don’t care as long as you’re not wrongly convinced that you and I are equally putting in the same effort in our training.”
“Or that I don’t have the conceit of thinking myself any better than Erianna.” Sam chuckled.
Yvessa waved him off with a smile. “I’m not her uncle. I don’t care to defend her honor like that. I was simply using her as an example. Also—just so you don’t think I’m overhyping her—like I said, Erianna doesn’t always put in the same hours that you did the last two weeks, so if you keep this going indefinitely I will have to give you the credit for that. More importantly, I don’t think that you truly understood just how easier it is for her to train when compared to us. And It’s not just the psychological stuff that I mentioned—all of us here at the academy enjoy training and studying more than the average person, and there are definitely plenty of people who enjoy it just as much as Erianna if not more, Sarah’s a good example—it’s the stuff around it as well. Think how much easier you have it, thanks to the attention you’re getting compared to if you were treated as a regular cadet.”
“And double it for her?”
“I don’t know. I won’t say anything about which of you is getting more help and attention overall. But even if you just think of her as getting the same amount of help. You have to remember that it was the same amount ever since she was twelve-years-old. And that’s just help when it comes to training. She’s still a princess after all, so she never had to spend time on her days walking to lunch if she didn’t want to.”
“Wow. You’ve talked her up so much, only to bring it all down in a couple of sentences.”
“I was just trying to give you the full picture. That the real world isn’t as simple as one person being better or more hard-working than the other person. Everyone has a different background and a different context guiding their actions and thoughts.”
“Still, in summary, is your best friend amazing or not?”
“Of course she is.”
“Good, because you keep flip-flopping on her. One moment she’s this force of nature that no one should compare themselves to. And the next moment there are people out there who actually have it harder than her but are still able to push themselves harder than her as well. Not to mention you switching between her working harder than me, just the same, or less. I really don’t know where to place her with all these mixed signals.”
“Erianna isn’t the point. Forget about her. Just realize that in the last week, you have spent the most time training or studying out of the four of us. That’s all I wanted to say.”
Sam sighed. “Fine… we’ll agree to disagree on that point. So, moving on to make Erianna the point, you think maybe I should join you on Monday to meet her? Share in your call to Maynil like you did mine?”
“No. And I’m not scheduled to talk with her on Monday. Only Mom and Dad.”
“What?! Wait a minute, I was pretty sure that your routine went: a call back home every other week, with every fourth week a call with your bestie as well. You mean to tell me that wasn’t the truth?”
Yvessa shrugged. “No. And why do you care so much about that anyway? The only surefire thing was me making a call to my parents every other week. After I managed to talk my mom down from every week like I had to during the first trimester. There isn’t any schedule for my calls with Erianna. When she can join the call, she does. When she can’t, she doesn’t. She couldn’t two weeks ago and she can’t this week. If we really need or want to talk through an inter-world call, we’ll just schedule a call for whatever day works best. Again, why do you care so much? You want to meet her that badly?”
“Nah, that’s not it. You know how it is with me. My mind craves the same, unchanging order of things week in and week out, even if it’s to do with other people. And I was joking about wanting meeting her. Although… I have to admit that I am kind of curious as to what she can tell me about our shared mentor… She’s not taking the news that she has to share a mentor with me badly, is she?”
“Oh yeah… She doesn’t like anyone, especially not a low-born like you, to be related or compared with her in any way.” She laughed. “She doesn’t care about that one way or the other, I assure you.”
“Really, nothing? I mean, she could at least be… curious, no? We’ve talked about her plenty and we have just as little reason to care about her as she does about me.”
“I’m not responsible for the things she cares about, nor for the fact that you guys keep bringing her up. In all honesty, we’ve only texted in the last four weeks since we spoke. And believe it or not, we both had more important things to talk about than you. You only came up tangentially.”
“How tangentially?”
“Really? Now I have to waste time telling you what I told other people about you?”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to use this time to talk instead of cultivating.”
“Fine… I asked how was she enduring the fallout from Farris’ recent undertakings—both the summit and you—and she told me that so far everything was the same as far as she was concerned…”
“What? That’s it? I never even came up in the conversation!”
“Since when do you want other people to talk about you?”
“I want reciprocity! We’ve talked about her plenty of times before. Just now, we’ve been mostly speaking about her. The least she could do is ask how I was doing.”
“You never once asked how she was doing.”
“Why would I? People keep telling me that she’s so amazing. Besides, you just told me that she was doing fine, ‘everything was the same,’ which I’m assuming counts as fine, since she’s so amazing.”
Yvessa shrugged. “Alright. Next time we talk, I’ll tell her all about you. That was the plan anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hmm? Well, she did ask me about you, and about Farris making himself your mentor. I told her that I’ll ask for your permission and give her the rundown next time we talk.”
“You don’t really need my permission to tell someone like her that kind of stuff about me. You know that, right?”
“I figured that I’ll run it by you anyway, seeing as you keeping making such a big fuss of people knowing who you are and knowing stuff about you.”
“Yeah… I keep flip-flopping on that. Permission granted then, I guess. After all, I already know so much about her. Not to mention how immoral it’d be to devoid people the pleasure of spending time talking about me.”
“And what a great pleasure that is. It’s truly incredible that I’m allowed to use the precious few moments that I have to talk face to face with my best friend in order to discuss you. Some might think that with so much of my daily life already devoted to talking about you, I do not deserve the privilege.”
Sam laughed. “Well, talk about me or don’t. That’s up to you. May I remind you that my suggestion for how to use this—very long already—wait had to do with us keeping complete silence? You’re just grumpy because you’re hungry.”
“Unlike you, I ate lunch. But you’re right about the delay. That’s why I don’t like ordering food. I don’t get why we had to order anyway. The mess hall is more than adequate.”
“Don’t ask me. I don’t care where my food comes from, as long as I’m not the one who has to waste time making it. Pour you a drink?” She nodded for assent, so Sam bent down to the cooler. He handed her a glass bottle of nonalcoholic beer. “Not really pour, I guess. And I can’t open bottles with my bare hands. I assume a level 2 like you won’t have a problem with that, though?”
She took the bottle from his hands and, without a hint of effort, twisted the cap off. “Thank you,” she said before putting the cap in the trash and sitting down on the floor. “Ah… that hits the spot.”
“I still can’t believe you like that shit.”
“We’re gonna have that conversation again?”
“Nope,” he said as he grabbed himself a bottle of coke and joined her on the floor. He didn’t even have time to take a sip before a knock came from the door. He looked at Yvessa. But she just started straight ahead with the bottle placidly cradled to her lips, in a calm denial of the existence of an outside world that required her response. Sam got up with a sigh to open the door.
“Sorry we’re late,” Felix said as he and Sarah made their way in, laden with dinner goods, “but blame the restaurant. Or the delivery, I don’t know. Anyway, we’re here. Put that movie on and let’s start eating. I’m starving.”
“I was supposed to pick a movie?” Sam asked him as he started helping Sarah set the floor.
“Man… I don’t have time for your bullshit right now. I need to pee. We better be ready to eat when I’m back.”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense. How long does it take a person to pee? There’s no way we’re going to finish in time.”
With the exception of her arm and lips, Yvessa stayed motionless. “I’m not helping. I already did my dues by bringing the drinks and entertaining you while we waited.”
“I’m not the one that wanted to be entertained! Besides, you call what we talked about entertainment?”
Sarah laughed and laid her hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Go put on the movie. I’ll finish here. You did pick a movie, right?”
“I did. But I’m not happy about it.”
“You’ve brought forth your concerns already. They were noted. But I said we’re going to have a fancy dinner while watching a movie tonight. So that’s what we’re doing.”
Sam grumbled but followed Sarah’s directives: opening the movie and turning the monitor ninety degrees so that it could serve the four people sitting and eating at the front of the room. “You know… the way you’re abusing your authority over us is really fitting, considering the subject matter of my chosen film.”
“Oh no. What’d you pick?”
“Das Boot.”
“Isn’t it about World War Two?”
“It is. About a German submarine.”
“You didn’t really pick that, right?”
“No, I didn’t. The director’s cut was too long.”
“Why is the food still not ready?” Felix asked as he stepped out of the bathroom.
“Pee longer next time,” Yvessa said, still seated as before.
Felix gave her a middle finger and set out to help Sam and Sarah with plating dinner. When all was ready, Sam clicked play and then sat down to enjoy the finer things in life. “So what are we watching?” Sarah asked.
“Wait and see,” Sam said just as the opening scene started playing.
“Sam…” Yvessa slowly uttered his name with a deepening frown on her face. “Who told you about this movie?”
“Felix.” Sam jerked a finger towards his accomplice.
“What the hell Felix?! I thought we were going to see a good movie. Not this crap!”
“What?” Felix asked with a feigned shrug. “This is might not be a good movie. But it’s the perfect movie to watch with your friends while eating. Also, educational for Sam.”
Sam covered his upper lip with his lower one and shook his head. “I doubt it.”
“Will someone tell me what’s the movie called and what’s it about?” Sarah asked.
Sam took it upon himself. “You know that John Wayne flick—god how I love referring to movies like that—where he played Genghis Khan? Widely regarded as one of the worst movies of all time, and that’s without taking into account the whole alleged cancer because of nuclear fallout angle?”
Sarah nodded. “I heard about it. So?”
“This is the elven equivalent of that movie. Only without people getting sick. Which, I’ll admit, disappoints me somewhat. Ah, here’s the title card.”
“Oh… I remember hearing about this! Wasn’t it accused of being racist propaganda?”
Yvessa rubbed her eyes. “Yes, but that one isn’t true. It’s only because the leading actor is a minor aristocrat from a Moon-Sworn family. Although, he’s definitely racist. Even by Moon-Sworn standards.”
“Really?” Sam asked. “Didn’t know that. I don’t want anyone to assume my joke comparison was any cleverer than what I originally intended.”
“So why are we watching this movie if the leading actor’s a racist?” Sarah asked.
“The movie itself isn’t racist,” Yvessa said. “It’s set before Maynil’s integration, after all, so it can’t be—”
“Eh…” Sam twirled his hand up and down. “Probably want to avoid making any such statements in the future.”
“It isn’t. The director’s a Terran. It was half funded by a Terran company. The movie’s shit, but it isn’t racist.”
“Why do you know so much about the movie?” Felix asked her with a laugh.
“Believe it or not, but it was so bad that the backlash to it caused a minor diplomatic incident between the kingdom and the republic. My mom told me about it. Thankfully, I never had to watch it… until now.”
“So what makes it so bad?” Sarah asked.
“The usual suspects. Historical inaccuracy. Awful acting. Horrible effects. Too long and disjointed. Nonsensical writing. Again, I never had to watch it before, so that’s only what I heard and read online.” She lightly slapped Sam’s shoulder. “Why’d you have to pick this piece of shit?”
“Hold on now,” Sam said, “don’t be putting all the blame on me. You’re always on me to learn more about other cultures. So I took your words to heart and asked Felix to recommend me an elven movie that’s fit for the occasion.”
Felix nodded. “Yep. And this is one of the few elven films that I know about.”
“Look, if you’re not happy with my pick. There’s always the backup choice.”
“Which is?” Yvessa asked warily.
“The documentary Conan did after he got fired from NBC and went on tour, followed by the commentary on the movie. I never watched either, so you don’t need to worry about me being bored.”
“Yeah… that’s not happening. If I’m going to suffer, at least I could rest easy knowing that you three are suffering with me.”
“Hold on now. Did you just insinuate that watching my backup choice was tantamount to you suffering? He’s a brilliant man, I’ll have you know! With a brilliant comedic mind. And I have it on good authority that the rumors that he hit a hit a hitchhiker while driving from Boston to New York in ‘93 and hid the body in a ditch are completely unsubstantiated.”
“Quiet you two,” Felix said, “the first battle scene is starting.” They watched in silence for two more minutes until it was over. “Man… this really is shit. Maybe we don’t have to watch a movie after all.”
“What about my backup choice?!”
“If no one’s paying any attention to the movie,” Sarah said. “Then let me use to opportunity to congratulate Sam for it being a month since his return and on his pace of advancement since then. Cheers!”
“Cheers!” came two other cries, less enthusiastic than Sarah’s but still much more cheerful than Sam’s muttering, as they all raised a glass (or bottle) in toast.
“Speech!” Felix said.
“That’s not happening.” Sam shook his head.
“Sourpuss.”
“Come on!” Yvessa nudged him. “Give us a speech. Tell us about how you don’t think your ‘pace of advancement’ in the last month is anything to be proud about.”
Sam observed her with a frown. “Did you grab a regular beer by accident? Or are you just trying to get back at me?”
Sarah cleared her throat. “Do I really have to have another conversation with you about feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished this past month and how you’ve accomplished it?” she asked Sam.
“No… Once a week is enough, don’t you think? Besides, Yvessa spent the entire time we were waiting for you complaining that she spends way too much time talking about me. So I think, for fairness’ sake, that we should pivot the topic of conversation.”
“This is your party, mate,” Felix said. “Kind of hard to think of a better occasion to dedicate to talking about a person than a party for them.”
“A funeral.”
“Yeah, I just thought of that.”
“Is that really what you talked about while waiting for us to get here?” Sarah asked.
“No,” Yvessa said, “Sam’s just being hyperbolic. A thing he accused me of being when I told him that I’m not like him and I don’t have the willpower to force myself to cultivate any more today. Which was really what we spent most of the time talking about until you got here. That and Erianna, for some reason.”
“She came up naturally,” Sam said, “don’t give me that look. You brought her up first. It still counts against you and your propensity to mention her. I just went along with the natural flow of the conversation.”
“Let me guess.” Felix chuckled. “You told her that you might as well use the time you were waiting for us to cultivate. She then told you something about not wanting to do that because she was a normal person, unlike her best friend.”
“You’re right. We are getting stale. We need to get some new conversational material. Some new best friends to talk about.”
“Fuck off, the both of you.” Yvessa rolled her eyes.
“So who won the argument?” Sarah asked.
“It was a stalemate,” Sam said.
“Which means that I won, and he’s just not willing to admit I’m right,” Yvessa said.
“It’s not a competition, Yvessa.”
“You just said that it was a stalemate.”
“Do I need to get involved with setting Sam’s mind straight?” Sarah asked Yvessa.
“No. I think that deep down, he agrees with my assessment.”
Sam shook his head in annoyance. “Can we just drop this topic? At least until next month, when we have more than one point of data for observation?”
“You’re not even harboring hope of dropping the topic completely anymore?” Felix asked.
“I can realize when I’m beaten and arrayed against forces greater than me.”
“Fine.” Sarah pursed her lips. “We’ll save the conversation about your work ethic for your two months anniversary.”
“Nope. I gave you one month. I’m not going to give you two.”
“I’m not asking you. But, I’ll let you off easy. Just a toast at dinner.”
“And dinner will be where?” She kept her silence and smirked. “Hey, come on now, this ain’t fair. You gotta take into account Felix and Yvessa’s feelings as well. They might start to miss eating in the mess hall.”
“I’m willing to endure that pain as long as it would cause you discomfort,” Felix said.
“Surely you won’t, Yvessa? What about your hatred of not eating in the mess hall?”
She shrugged. “Taking food from the mess hall and eating it some place else is fine in my book. It’s the waiting for food I don’t like, not the location of the meal.”
“You realize that it says a lot about your upbringing that the part you hate the most about eating out or ordering in is the waiting for the food?”
“You realize that by criticizing me, you risk losing your only ally in the battle?”
“Haven’t I lost you already? Somewhere around a month ago, when we first met?”
Sarah laughed. “Relax Sam. I promise that we’ll have the toast as part of our regular meal. We don’t want to dilute the importance of the other events we’ll need to celebrate, now do we?”
Sam muttered an unintelligible complaint under his breath. He knew when he was beaten. Unlike the mooks being butchered by the shirtless lead actress in the movie. “So the elves stole both the Wilhelm Scream and plastic surgery from us?”
“Seems like a fair exchange of information,” Felix said. “They get fake boobs and over the top audio effects, and we get the knowledge of how to turn ourselves into a one-person army.”
“Since when are you on the elves’ side?”
“Since theirs is the first high budget movie I ever saw where the male main character spent an entire five minutes scene in full frontal nudity.”
“Did you know about that part when you picked the movie?”
“I swear I didn’t. It was a happy accident. Does your backup movie have anything to offer in the full frontal department?”
“No… Otherwise it would’ve been illegal in forty-five states.” He yawned with a stretch before getting up. “Alright, I’m getting the desserts out. I want some sweet.”
They passed the rest of the evening alternating between talking about anything and everything, to talking about the movie and making fun of it. At one point, Yvessa had enough, and went into lecture mode. Telling them all about the stuff the movie got wrong and how it really happened in history. Once it was finally over, it was fair to say that while they all regretted Sam’s choice for the evening; it did get the job done well enough to satisfy Sarah’s requirement for what the movie should have been. Without the movie to force them to keep going (and, because watching it took so much out of them) the evening came to a close shortly after the end credits started rolling. Cleanup and farewell took no longer than five minutes, so after Sam was all done with his nightly obligations, he actually had enough spare time to make up for the time he didn’t cultivate while talking to Yvessa. Not proving her right, of course, Sam simply had too much energy left in his mind and no other outlet to spend it.