Not wanting to keep disturbing Felix and Yvessa, especially since they moved to an exercise that didn’t allow them to speak (subjecting someone to Sam’s words without that person’s ability to tell him to stop talking was tantamount to a war crime), Sam opted to go grab a shower and clean up while waiting for the other three to finish. When he came out, Felix and Yvessa were indeed on their last set and, if he wasn’t wrong, then Sarah was also nearing the end of her workout.

“What was the guy’s name, anyway?” Felix asked him once he rejoined them.

“The dude from the water fountain? Carl Pines, I think. But I’m not sure; the trauma’s still so fresh.”

“Oh, Carl Pines? I know him. He’s that guy that reached level 4 not too long ago. Remember Yvessa?”

“Yeah, the Ruler’s son. Good pathways must run in the family.”

“Doesn’t making level 4 so early mean that he’s pretty much at your guys’ level? Potential wise?” Sam asked.

“Sure, in theory,” Felix said smugly. “But in practice, the reason people like the four of us are so highly regarded is because we can reach high levels without dedicating so much of our time to cultivating and sculpting. Now I’m not saying that this Carl guy isn’t also pretty fucking good, but I’ve seen him fighting and I caught a sneak peek at some of Dan’s evaluation of the third years. He’s cut some definite corners in order to make level 4 so early. Of course, he might make all of them up in the long run. Maybe we’ll fight alongside him as a fellow Ruler in a few years.”

“That’s great. Another dude whose name I need to remember. Thanks a lot Felix.”

“My pleasure.”

“He must have made a real poor impression on you while fighting if you’re so quick to praise him,” Yvessa said, trying to hide her smirk with her stretching.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I always try to give people a fair and unbiased review.”

“Sure you are.” She rolled her eyes at Sam, which was pretty impressive considering where her head currently was.

“Anyway, the two of us and Sarah can most definitely kick Carl’s ass if that’s what you want, Sam. Even if he’s stronger than I give him credit for.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that,” Yvessa said.

“And I would gain no satisfaction from someone else dealing him grave bodily harm,” Sam said. “I’ll have to wait until I’m strong enough to sucker punch him myself.”

“Up to you.” Felix stood up to finish his stretching. “I’m gonna go grab a shower.” A minute later, Yvessa also finished and made her way to the showers, so Sam signaled Sarah that he was waiting for them outside and sat down to continue his work with the playlist. Thankfully, he finally had headphones with him, so he was able to make much more fine tuned decisions than before. Not too long after, he was once again joined by Felix and Yvessa.

“So what do you have for today?” Yvessa asked him.

“Just some more Dan lessons, I guess. We’ll probably go over tracing and gathering, but I don’t know more than that. How about you guys?”

“Us guys, just so happen to not have the same lesson plans for today, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lump us together.”

“Yeah.” Felix chuckled. “Only for the lesson after lunch. We both got patterns next and afterwards I’m off to spear training while she takes something about artifacts. Then we meet again for Epirak study.”

“It’s still a difference of a third. And you’d do well to take some of the artifacts courses as well. There’s a lot you could learn.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will next year. Even if I don’t see the reason why. After all, I’m only going to use the storage one and the spear, and it’s not like I’m planning on making any and getting into artifice.”

“Knowledge is often its own reward.”

“Yeah, I’ll take being able to kill Epiraks better, as my reward. Thank you very much.”

“Wait, you’re also a spear fighter?” Sam asked.

“Yeah mate, we already went over this.”

“I’m pretty sure we didn’t.”

“Pretty sure we did.”

“No you didn’t,” Yvessa said.

“Then you must have not heard it.”

“That’s impossible because I’ve literally never been with you alone,” Sam said.

“You make it sound like I’m too dangerous to be left alone with you.”

“Well obviously you are. Insert gay joke here.”

“You can’t just say ‘insert gay joke here!’ You gotta make the gay joke as well.”

“Bully for you, then. Because I’m too tired after working out to showcase my usual razor sharp wit. And speaking of things being sharp: You most definitely did not mention to me that you’re also training with a spear. I know that Yvessa’s using a sword, because of Farris, weirdly. I know that Sarah is training with way too many forms. I know that Farris is a spearfighter, but I don’t remember how. But I didn’t know you. Or Dan and Maurice. What is Dan fighting with, by the way?”

“Unarmed,” said Sarah, who was just joining them, her hair still wet.

“Oh, just like you then. Only he probably didn’t spread himself thin training with three other weapons when he was just twenty-years old.”

“I feel like you’re trying to tell me something. But I can’t quite put my finger on what.” She turned to the other two. “Did he finish his workout?”

“Eventually,” Yvessa said.

“What are you asking them for?” Sam asked. “I’m a grown man, I’ll have you know. Felix, back me up here.”

“That’s pretty damn rude that you knew everyone else’s weapon of choice, but not mine, mate. Even if I didn’t tell you, you could have at least asked. And here I was planning to train with you when I had the time.”

“Then Sarah is who you should be really blaming here. She’s the one who just introduced me to you guys with no prior notice. She didn’t give me the cliff notes on you two, not to speak of a character dossier like you’re supposed to.”

“That isn’t a real thing,” Sarah said.

“Well it should be. Look how hurt Felix is, all because you didn’t te—Hold on, I’m getting a call.” Wanting to rid his ears of the noise from the still default ringtone, Sam quickly stepped aside in order to answer. No anxiety at all from answering an unknown caller, he would later remark to himself. The call was short and courteous. He was informed by the campus security that someone left a package for him at the gates. “So my PC is here. Who’s coming to help me carry it to my room?”

“Why can’t you just carry it yourself?” Yvessa asked.

“Nice one, Yvessa. I’m still a shrimp compared to you guys. And even in my most physically fit stage back when, I wouldn’t have been able to carry the heavy-ass PC we had them build for me. Not to speak of the monitor and all the other external crap; I don’t particularly like bass, but I must have the option for a lot of it.”

“What do you need a whole PC for, even? You already have a laptop.”

“Games,” he answered.

“Porn,” Felix said.

“And porn.”

“But don’t forget games.”

“Plus,” Sarah said, “we’ll be able to watch the movie tonight on a bigger screen. Maybe we should have also bought you a TV, then?” Sam shook his head.

“What movie?” Yvessa asked.

“Oh, me and Sam are celebrating his one week anniversary since coming here. We’ll grab dinner and watch a movie.”

“That…” said Felix, “sounds stupid. What the hell is a one week anniversary? It hasn’t even been a whole week yet, that’s only tomorrow. Plus, how come we’re not invited? Is this a date?”

“Felix…” Yvessa facepalmed.

“It’s not a date! Not that I mean anything bad by it.” Sarah quickly turned toward Sam with eyes like a dear that really didn’t want to make the headlights feel bad.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Nah, it’s not a date. We’re pretty much just having a meeting in order to try and convince the other person to our point of view.”

“Sound like a date to me.” Felix smirked. “Nice setup.”

“Thanks, that was on purpose. But it was also the truth. We’re meeting to have a very serious but non-romantic, barely even platonic, discussion. Let’s just remind everyone that I have never actually been on a real date and I’m sure as fuck not going to make my first one ever, a dinner and a movie. And on that note, I would also like to mention to you all that I am currently, and for the foreseeable future, not emotionally available for a romantic partner. So no one develop any crushes on me.”

“What about only a sexual partner?” Felix mouthed a kiss.

“Absolutely not. That’s even worse.”

“Really?”

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“OK.” Sarah laughed, much to Sam’s comfort. “How about you two continue this discussion while going to pick up Sam’s PC? While me and Yvessa will go grab the four of us breakfast and then we’ll eat in Sam’s room?”

“Sarah, did you not hear the part about how flimsy and weak I am? And that’s before having worked out. There’s no way that just me and Felix are going to be able to carry everything to my room.”

“Yes, you will, I’m sure of it. Let’s go Yvessa.” She gave them a thumbs up before making her exit with Yvessa in tow.

“Wow, she didn’t even wait to hear out my objection on the grounds that my room is going to get dirty.”

“You’re going to eat dinner there anyway, so what’s the matter?” Felix asked. “Or are you saying that me or Yvessa are going to make a mess?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Sam shrugged and began walking to the campus gate. “Also, we already ate at my place a couple of days ago, and I didn’t need to clean up after. Which is pretty lucky, cause I don’t even have a broom or anything.”

“There are two supply closets on every dorm floor. I’ll show you where.”

“Would that be before or after you’re going to touch me inappropriately?”

“Before, definitely before. I want to leave you with some good memories of your first time being alone with me. So we’ll go pick up your PC, see where the supply closet is, and then I’ll do unmentionable things to your body and mind.”

“Like show me what changed in porn in the last hundred years?”

“Oh… that’ll be interesting. With your, I’m sure, vast amount of ancient knowledge on the subject, we could do some sort of cultural study on the development of porn. How well versed are you in gay porn?”

“A complete amateur. But I’m willing to learn. Is the plot any better?”

“Plot?” Felix’s face contorted in puzzlement. “Hmm… Do you think that it says something about us that we’ve had the topics of either video games or porn to choose to talk about and we chose porn?”

“To be fair, I chose porn. You just went along with it. Why, are video games any different than they were?”

“I wouldn’t know. I never played anything from before the Integration. You should ask Yvessa. She played a bunch, I think.”

“Yvessa? The girl that asked me what I need a PC for if I already have a laptop?”

Felix nodded. “Don’t listen to her, she’s just projecting. She might not have a PC, but she has two laptops, one of which never leaves her room. And I know for a fact that she played a bunch of retro games, even if she doesn’t like to admit it.”

“What about her porn habits?”

“I was hoping you were going to ask that. Alas, I don’t know. Probably normal. Once a blue moon. That’s how often girls masturbate, right?”

“Girls masturbate? That’s news to me.”

“Did you really not know that? Or is it like you not knowing that I use a spear?”

“We’re still on that?”

“You’re damn right we are.”

Sam held his hands up. “I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here. The onus of knowing that about you is not on me. You want me to know stuff, you need to share them. Think about it. If I stopped and asked everyone for all the things that I don’t know, I’ll still be stuck in my first conversation with Sarah somehow.”

“Excuses, excuses. You asked what Dan’s fighting with, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, because it was appropriate to the flow of the conversation. And I realized that was something that I didn’t know and wanted to know that. That’s the biggest barrier to obtaining new knowledge, I’ll have you know. Most stuff we are ignorant regarding, we aren’t even aware that we don’t know them. Plus, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, you’re the least interesting person out of the three of you, so is it really that surprising that I would want to know less stuff about you than I do about them?”

“What?! How dare you! I’m way cooler than Yvessa.”

Sam smacked his lips. “Please Felix, don’t make a fool of yourself. She grew up in a royal court. And not not a shitty one, descended from traitors like Sweden’s. A real one, with actual executive power. She’s friends with that Erianna chick that everyone seems to talk about. She’s familiar enough with Farris to not only dislike him, but to not be afraid to show him discourtesy.”

“Sure. But who would make for a better story protagonist? Someone like Yvessa that grew up sheltered and with no struggles. Or someone like me? That had to fight against poverty, and discrimination, and the whole world, in order to be where I am right now.”

“That’s a good point. On the other hand… You are gay. And if you take too much screen time, that’s going to lose us Middle America. But… Yvessa is a strong independent woman with a lot of agency who is apparently overshadowed not by a guy but by an even stronger woman. That’s pretty girl boss. And that’s going to cost us the incel crowd. Decision decisions…”

“How about we make you the protagonist, then?”

“Here’s an idea!”

“Yeah! We could sell it as just your classic isekai story.”

“OK. We put a freeze on discussing that for an entire year. Your callback is way too early.”

“At least I get a call back.”

“Is that a joke about me never being on a date?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s not very good.”

“You still got it, though.”

“Barely. It only works because we were just talking about that.”

“A joke’s a joke. Right, here we are. Let’s go grab your stuff.”

Sam’s stuff ended up being a giant plastic box that was left inside the campus delivery area. “You’re Sam Anders?” asked him the guard while looking him up and down.

“That’s the name I gave them, yeah.” Sam took out his new, never going to be used driver’s license to show her.

“Right. You can take your stuff then. Good luck on making it to Ruler.”

“Jesus, her too?” Sam whispered to Felix once the guard was out of earshot.

Felix shrugged. “Welcome to fame, buddy. Now I assume that you’re not going to help me to carry this stuff?”

“You assume correctly. Hopefully, just like my assumption that they bunched up everything I ordered into this gigantic box that’s never going to fit through my door.”

“You also assume correctly. Sarah must have picked this delivery option so she could carry everything for you herself. Real kind of her to leave me alone with it.”

“You’re going to have trouble carrying it?”

“Nah, no problem. Will just have to come over with you to Dan after breakfast and ask him to top me up cause I won’t have time to gather enough to refill. We have practice sparring with patterns today and you’re supposed to come with your core full in order not to take the risk that you’ll run out midway. And keeping my patterns up all the way to your dorm is going to run me pretty dry.”

“Can’t you gather during the patterns lesson?”

“Not if I want to pay attention to it.”

“Huh. That’s good to know. Calms me somewhat. Cause I don’t see myself gathering while learning anytime soon.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Even the greatest geniuses in the Web aren’t going to be able to focus on studying while gathering. At least not efficiently. It’s like trying to do calculus while at the same time reading Joyce.”

“Oh, you read Ulysses?”

“Don’t know that book. It’s just a saying.” Felix shut his eyes and shook himself, jumping up and down. Sam was pretty sure that wasn’t a requirement for activating the patterns. “OK, I’m ready. Help me with the first lift at least, will you?”

“Sure thing,” Sam reluctantly agreed. He bent down opposite Felix, and on the other’s command, he lifted the box. “Is it the legs or the back you’re supposed to lift with?” he asked, his joking tone barely making it through the strain he was feeling.

“Alright, you can let go,” said Felix, who then somehow managed to strap the box upon his back. Apparently, the thing came with shoulder straps. “Lead on.” Felix gestured. He seemed strained, as evident by the tautness of his muscles and his reddening fists, clutching at the box’s straps.

“OK, I got to ask. What the fuck is up with this box? Do people really deliver stuff like this?”

“You think that this is some sort of practical joke? Want to try carrying this shit for yourself? It’s just how some things are delivered nowadays. If the person ordering them is strong enough to carry it. Mind you, I am a peak physical Terran specimen. Most people, even those of higher levels, won’t be handling this so easily. Ah, fuck! This shit is heavy. How much did you spend on the build?”

“Literally as much as possible, thanks to your tax dollars.”

“Never had to pay tax yet. And now I probably never will. So it’s not my money you’re mooching off.”

“Mooching? Let me remind you that I was not privy to any of your government amenities for the first twenty-two years of my life. Which means that unless I manage to create a company that’s too big to fail—only for it to shockingly fail and have to get bailed out by the government in order not to cause further damage to the, Friedman approved to never fail again, financial system—that the feds would have still spent less money on me than they did for the average Terran.”

“We don’t have a federal government, you know that, right?”

“Yes, we are a unitary, parliamentary republic with a bicameral legislature. The upper house of which still doesn’t make much sense to me. What with regional divisions and district subdivisions being administrative in nature. I did look all of that, as well as the tense and complex relationship the executive has with the military, up. But that won’t stop me from making inaccurate comparisons or misnomers, I guarantee you.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of big words for someone who doesn’t understand how the Second Assembly works. By the way, you’re going to help me upgrade my PC unless you want me squatting in your room to play with yours.”

“Don’t you also have a potentially unlimited bank account to draw from?”

“No, that’s just Taken privilege. I only have a regular, incredibly high for my age and level, salary that’s meant to ensure that I have all of my needs met and nothing distracts me from training. But I send most of it back home.”

“Jesus, you’re that poor?”

“Not anymore. So you gonna pay for me or what?”

“Sure I will. It’s not like I earned that money or that I have anything else to do with it. But why couldn’t you just ask Sarah for some toys?”

“Cause Sarah gives off the vibe that she’s reluctant to use the money she’s given. You saw her laptop, right?”

“Really? That doesn’t sound right. She’s the one that paid for all the stuff we bought back on Saturday. I didn’t have a credit card at that point.”

“Maybe that’s because she likes you.”

“You had to say that in that tone?”

“S and S, sitting on a tree K I S S I N G.”

“A potential romantic relationship between me and Sarah is not something to joke about.”

“Oh relax. You aren’t interested in her, she’s not in you. You’re both just friends. Really good friends with a very deep and complex emotional and historical connection, despite having just met a week ago for the first time. But still just friends. You don’t have to worry about breaking her heart anytime soon. You Casanova you. Of course, if you guys do decide to shack up eventually, I won’t stand in your way.”

“Whatever. Can we just drop this whole romance talk? It’s making me icky.”

“But talking about porn is smooth sailing?”

“I don’t know the people that I see in porn.”

“Is this about the whole you not looking for a romantic relationship bit? I’d know a thing or two about that.”

“Because you only have one-night stands and fuck buddies?”

“Please, Sam, manners. They’re called booty calls. And I’ve yet to make any around here. So if you happen to know any hot, single gay guys who aren’t looking for emotional attachments. Give me a call.”

“I’ve only met one gay guy since coming here, and he isn’t hot.”

“You did that joke already. And it doesn’t work because Javi is also gay, remember?”

“Who? I’m sorry. I don’t remember the names of people that I have nothing more to gain from.”

“I’m the same way—”

“Only with sex.”

“only with sex,” Felix confirmed. They had just made it to Sam’s dorms, so they had to cut short the conversation while Sam opened the building’s door for Felix and they began the climb up to Sam’s room. Standing in the corridor outside of his room, Sam once again helped, however minimal his aid actually was, Felix with the box.

“What now?” Sam asked with the box on the floor.

“Now we open it up.” And lo-and-behold, Felix quickly pried the top open, revealing all the computer related purchases that Sam had made on Saturday.

“Holy shit, it’s all here. And in good order from the look of it.”

“Of course. Did you think it was just going to be stuffed up in there? These are hard and tried delivery boxes, widely used. The people making them know what they’re doing.” They began to unload the different items and set them down by Sam’s desk. And in short order, the box was emptied of its contents and all that remained was to finish setting up Sam’s new PC. “You gonna stay here or come with me to drop this off?”

“Drop it off where?”

“There’s a recycling zone two minutes from here. We’ll leave it there.”

“Holy shit, it’s recyclable?” asked Sam, who was evidently coming with Felix to drop off the box in order to find out where the recycling zone was.

“Of course it is. Either that or they give it to someone who’s going to use it again. They’re great boxes, you know?”

“Indeed. And how convenient as well. Without it, we wouldn’t have been able to carry all the stuff just the two of us, and we would have missed out and this very manly one-on-one time with each other.”

“Yeah, which reminds me that I’m still angry at you for not knowing that I fight with a spear.”

“And I’m still angry at your way of life being an affront to god. So that cancels out.”

“Is this about the pre-marital sex or being gay?”

“Now now Felix. You have to remember that I come from a different time period than you. Back when I was a young boy, in the sixties, saying stuff like ‘I don’t care about people being gay, as long as they’re not being gay to my face,’ made you a forward thinker, not a homophobe.”

“Wow… times have indeed changed.”

“They have. And not for the better.”

“No, of course not. Unfortunately, we had yet to arrive at the best form of Terran society. When women aren’t allowed to vote and being gay is the norm.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. We have already passed those days, actually. Ah… the BCEs. When men were men. Unless they were slaves or children, in which case they were not men. And women were women, which meant that they were equal to slaves and children. As envisioned by Aristotle’s perfect polity.”