It was time for lunch on Saturday and Sam settled down on the empty bench across the table from Felix and Yvessa with a weary sigh. It was a beautiful day (don’t think about the fucking skies) and so the group was ordered by Sarah to present themselves in the small seating area outside of their usual mess hall in order to eat together. Some bullshit about building camaraderie and appreciating nature is what she said. Of course, she wasn’t anywhere in sight and wasn’t going to be. Half an hour ago she texted them that something came up and to eat without her.

“Why is that every time I see you sitting down you sound like a guy who’s just returned from the trenches,” Felix asked him.

“It just goes to show how hard every day is for me compared to normal people,” Sam said. “What’s your normal, is my hell that is war, and what’s your war is my Lovecraftian horror.”

“Bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Yvessa remarked.

“Yep... It certainly is. But pretty much all of my complaining about stuff is going to sound hollow while I still got this magical high twenty-four-seven.”

“Oh, here he goes again about magic being a drug, rubbing it in all of our poor, addict faces,” Felix said.

“Yeah.” Sam brightened up. “I guess I have been doing that. That kind of thing doesn’t often happen to me, you know? Making other people feel bad for having something that they don’t; especially if it’s something biochemical.”

“Didn’t you grow up middle class in a first-world country? Wouldn’t most people in the world living then have less than you?”

“Yeah, absolutely. But it’s not like I had a chance to dunk on them for it. I grew up in a proper middle class to upper middle class area. Most kids who I grew up with were from richer families than me. Well, not necessarily richer, but just that their parents were willing to spend more money than mine were. Did I tell you guys about the fact that I never had a console growing up?”

“No! Really? How could you live like that?”

“By being given a fairly powerful PC when I was thirteen, that most likely cost a couple times what a console did.”

“You really had it hard, huh?”

“I did,” Sam said in a pitiful voice and began tearing up.

“Yvessa, do me a favor, will you? Reach across and slap that snob for me. I don’t want to get his haughtiness all over my hands.”

“That’s like asking a saber-tooth tiger to take a bite at a cheetah for being a feline.”

“Are you sure that you want to pick a fight with me as well, Sam?” Yvessa raised her brow.

“I wasn’t aware that I was picking a fight with anyone. I thought that I was just being my usual annoying and egotistical self.”

Yvessa and Felix look at each other. “That’s fair,” Felix admitted. “Maybe it’s the lack of Sarah’s usual threat of violence that makes it harder to stand you currently. Just make sure to watch yourself, will you? We don’t want anyone of us to come to blows with you and have to suffer Khanly punishment.”

“Last time that it was just the three of us together, it wasn’t Sam that was a major risk for being the reason why a fight might break out,” Yvessa said.

“That’s also a fair point. Also also, is anyone else weirded out by the thought that we’ve known each other for such a short period of time that we can actually remember and remark about stuff like that?”

“Not really,” Sam said. “Personally, my mind is always at overwork, making statistics about my social interactions. Even with people that I’ve been friends for a long time with. How long since we last met? How long was that meeting? How funny was I during it? How long do I need to wait before initiating another meeting so that the feelings of revulsion would mostly pass?”

“Huh… good to know. So you’re saying there’s a chance that I could get you to not spend time with me? Is it solely based upon your own assessment, or is there something I can do to make it happen?”

“I really should be recording this conversation for the next time you’ll annoy me,” Yvessa told Felix.

“You can’t do that! You’ll be incriminating yourself as well. Sarah would say that your silence was akin to agreeing with what I’m saying. That would make you my accomplice. Although, speaking from a utilitarian’s viewpoint: if you derive more pleasure from my pain than suffering from your own pain, then you should do that. Right Sam?”

“Don’t speak to me.”

“I thought that we were supposed to be your conversation buddies for intellectually stimulating conversations. I’m just trying to be helpful.”

“Even were I up for that sort of conversation right now, starting it with utilitarianism as the topic is not the right way into my heart.”

“Why aren’t you up for it? Don’t want Sarah to miss anything?”

“Hardly. I am more than fine with regurgitating everything I discuss with people to other people. Saves time having to come up with things to talk about… And where is Sarah anyway? Am I the only one that finds it weird that she just canceled on us with only half an hour to go? What could possibly have come up at this time of the day on Saturday?”

“Her time of the month, maybe. Ow! Really Yvessa?! I was making a callback to that stupid joke Sam made.”

“Wasn’t just a joke. Also a plea for knowledge.”

“Yeah well, you both should have known better,” Yvessa said.

“How could I have possibly known better without asking? That’s like the most basic way of acquiring knowledge.”

“Do you even remember what it was exactly that you asked?”

“No… Was it that bad?” He looked at Felix, who nodded back. “Oh. Well, I won’t try to excuse myself to you then. That’s for me and myself when I start writing in my journal again. If I ever do.”

“The disgusting pervert did bring up a good point, though,” Felix said. “It’s really weird for Sarah to just cancel on us like that. Especially now that her precious Sam entered into the picture.”

“Hey! I don’t like it when other people make a joke about her being my mom. Both due to matters of taste and copyright infringement.”

“You don’t have any taste. That’s why Sarah abandoned you.”

Sam and Felix burst out laughing while Yvessa rolled her eyes with a shake of her head. “Maybe you two are closer to the truth that you think,” she said. “Maybe Sarah simply had to take a break from your antics.”

“Antics? I’m sorry, but while I can’t speak for Sam, I am a sophisticated adult. I don’t make antics anymore. Besides, how do you know that you aren’t part of the equation as well? Because if not, then that means that Sarah basically threw you to the wolves without a hint of remorse.”

“How do you know that she didn’t send me a message telling me that she couldn’t make it and to make myself scarce as well?”

“Because that would mean you having to admit that you don’t have a problem spending time with us. In other words, that you can stand us just fine.”

“Oh, you guys weren’t together this morning?” Sam asked.

“We’re not always together,” Yvessa scoffed. “Saturday is the only day that I can go without having to see this guy without having skip out on some important lectures.”

“Then how come you’re here with me now?” Felix asked.

“I just wanted to spend time with Sam, even if Sarah was out of the picture.”

“Oh yeah.” Sam shook his head dismissively. “Like that makes any sense. I’ll tell you what does make sense, in a weird Sarah sort of way. Her canceling on us after being the one to arrange this lunch in order for the three of us to spend time together. And by three of us, I mean the two of you and me. Cause you guys are sort of a package deal.”

“Hey that’s great!” Felix gave him a thumbs up. “You managed to pivot us all the way back around to being angry at you for stuff that you said.”

“I, for one, never stopped being angry,” Yvessa said. “Still… Sarah wouldn’t do something so manipulative like that, right?”

“Are you joking? That’s exactly the only sort of manipulation that Sarah could do.”

“Come off it. She probably just realized that she was behind on one of her courses or something. Or maybe she was studying something and felt like on a roll, so she wanted to keep going.”

“Or… she’s dying. And she wants as to grow closer to Sam before she passes on so we’ll take care of him.”

“Why not just call and ask her then?”

“Are you kidding and tell her what? ‘Hey Sarah, the three of us were making jokes on why you couldn’t make it. Can you confirm to us whether you’re dying and trying to manipulate us to adopt Sam?’” Just as Felix finished speaking, the Sam in question took his phone and began tapping his way into the contact list. “Hey! No! I was joking! Stop that!”

Sam smiled and put his phone back in his pocket. “I wouldn’t call her anyway. If she really has something important going on, I’m not going to interrupt her. After all, I can always ask her that next time we meet. The joke would be almost as funny then as it is now.”

“Why does it always come back to jokes with you? Is that like your meaning in life? Make comedy or something?”

“Oh! Now that’s an interesting question to ponder upon, in the broader than just Sam sense. The philosophy of humor. I thought a lot about it, you know? Never read a thing, though.”

“Suddenly you’re back in form capable of hold a stimulating conversation then?”

“What can I say, talking with you as reinvigorated me.”

“Oh yeah.” Felix shook his head, mimicking Sam’s face and voice. “Like that makes any sense.”

Yvessa laughed. “What did you want to complain about anyway Sam? Was it your morning lesson or just life in general?”

“What makes you say I wanted to complain about anything?”

“What other reason would someone have to sit down next to people with a loud, exaggerated sigh?”

“Huh… I don’t know. Maybe because they’re old as fuck? And let me tell you, I had the mannerisms of an old man even before I became one, two weeks ago.”

“So you don’t have anything you want to complain about?” Felix asked while looking down at his food.

“Oh I have plenty to complain about. And even plenty more that I want to complain about. Trust you me.”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

“Well let’s have at it then. Sarah isn’t paying us to just spend time with you, after all.”

“Ha! That’d be something. Even for her. Paying for friends.”

“What’s so weird about that? Buy me that PC I asked of you and I promise to be your friend.”

“Sure, yeah, I don’t care. I already told you, the money isn’t mine and I don’t have anything that I want, so I don’t care about wasting it buying you stuff.”

Felix wagged his finger. “It’s not a waste so much as it is an investment. From you into me being your friend. And from the Terran taxpayer into me becoming a Chosen.”

“Oh… So that all it takes for someone to become a Chosen,” Yvessa said. “Buying them a computer. And does it apply to anyone or just you? Because if it’s the former, then we’re really wasting time and resources with all these academies.”

“The academies are still there. They’re still important and have their role to play. Just like me being able to play does. But, heh, never mind my wordplay. We were talking about Sam! And his very serious troubles and complaints before you got us sidetracked talking about me definitely becoming Chosen in the future—”

“You did that, but go on.”

“That’s exactly what I’m not going to do! It’s Sam that should go on! So come on Sam, tell us about your woes and ills. And we’ll do whatever it is in our power to make them go away.”

“OK…” Sam released a heavy breath. “So there’s these three friends that I met recently. And the two girls? I really like them. They’re nice and funny. In other words, they’re very gay. But it’s the guy… he’s just so dreary and heavy, and snarky. Not gay at all. I just can’t stand the guy. But I don’t want to ruin my relationship with the other two because they were friends with him before they met me.” He sighed. “What can I do Dr. Felix?”

“You help him.” The doctor huffed to Yvessa and turned his back on the two of them. A second later, and the sound of sobbing could be heard from the part of his face now turned away from them. “I, I just wanted him to like me! Why doesn’t he like me?! Ooooh… Waaaah… It’s not fair.”

“Yeah. Anyway, that guy’s name is Chafi Pines.”

“Who the hell is Chafi Pines?” Yvessa asked.

“What do you mean? He’s that guy that ambushed me at the gym and we had breakfast a day after. You know, the third year.”

“You mean Carl Pines. I have no idea who Chafi Pines.”

“I think he means Afi,” said Felix, not showing any signs of his recent outburst. “Which is not a guy that you actually met. He’s the asshole that tried to give Yvessa a hard time in combat classes that we told you about back when we first met.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Hm… you could be right. I did meet and hear about a lot of different people at too short a time for me to remember all of their names. Especially when the value of remembering said people’s names isn’t that great. I do remember Erianna’s name, though, Yvessa. We keep bringing her up for some reason, so there’s no way for me to be able to forget her.”

“You’re the one that brought her up for no reason right now,” Yvessa said. “I don’t know why you’re pointing a finger at me. And that’s besides the point, she’s my best friend. Of course her name will pop up in my mind sometime or another.”

“So what? You don’t see me bringing up my best friend’s name every second conversation, do you?”

“I guess not. One question, though, is it very likely that your best friend is going to be our commander in the future?”

“Also, Sam, just to be fair,” Felix said. “You haven’t brought up anyone’s name from your own personal past, friend or not. Besides, do you even have a best friend?”

Sam gasped. “Do I have a best friend? What kind of question is that? I’m looking straight at him.”

Felix looked down at himself and clicked his tongue. “You’re just saying that because I’m a guy and you can’t envision being best friends with a woman.”

“True.”

“Sarah is really a much better candidate for you current best friend than me or Yvessa.”

“Also true. But she’s a girl, and boys and girls can’t be friends with one another. Unless one of them is gay.”

“Well what about Yvessa’s other best friend that you haven’t heard about because she doesn’t bring him up nearly as much? He’s a guy. What was his name, Martin?”

Yvessa wrinkled her nose. “It’s Marin and you know it. And for your information, the reason that I don’t bring up as much is because he’s a normal guy like you and me—”

“Not normal then, but go on.”

“And… he’s not really my best friend the same way Erianna is. Don’t get me wrong, we’re great friends, but just not—Fuck, why am I trying to convince you guys of anything? I’ll bring up whomever I want to bring up. Also, because you’ve annoyed me, he’s bi, so Sam was technically right in his stupid comment.”

“Technically not wrong, you mean,” Sam corrected her.

“Sure, whatever.”

“I just think you need to give the poor guy some more publicity,” Felix said. “What’s gonna happen when we finally meet your two legendary friends and after shaking hands and telling Erianna how much we heard about her, we’re gonna come up to poor Mario and tell him… what? Sam, give an example of something rude and embarrassing you could see yourself telling him when you first meet.”

“Huh? Why me?”

“To drive my point home.”

“OK… I don’t know, how about: ‘Yvessa didn’t tell us a whole lot about you, but what she did say is that you aren’t her number one bestie.’ Really, you’re not giving me much to work here. Other than that and Felix making fun of his name, unprovoked and inelegantly, might I add, I don’t know anything about the guy. So this makes the whole tangent annoying because we only got on to it because I’m having troubling remembering the names of every schmuck I meet.”

“You also know that Marin is just as talented as me and Felix,” Yvessa rebuked him. “So you can be sure of meeting him in the future. And since the both of you are my friends, it would be polite of you to be nice to him and not refer to him as a schmuck.”

“She’s right Felix. That wasn’t very nice.”

“Just to remind you two,” Felix said. “I was the one trying to help poor Marvin. Get him some of the airtime that his female counterpart enjoys. Face it, we’re two weeks in into our acquaintance with Sam and up to now he didn’t know that you had any guy friends besides him and me.”

“Maybe if you keep annoying me, Sam’s knowledge concerning the number of ‘guy friends’ that I have would have proven correct after all.”

“It won’t, because Sam is just one break in the conversation away from jumping in and saying I was wrong because he didn’t know you considered him your friend or something along those lines.” Sam nodded solemnly.

“Really Sam? Even after two weeks? That’s more sad than funny at this point.”

“No it’s not,” Sam objected. “If it was funny with people that I’ve been friends with for years at the time, then it’s funny with you two, who I’ve only known for two weeks.”

“Was it funny with people you’ve been friends with for years, though?” Felix asked.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ll get back to you once I’ve been friends with someone for more than a year.” Felix nodded and just to further drive his criticism about Sam’s predictable sense of humor home, he mouthed Sam’s last words as he was saying them (although he replaced “year” with “three weeks,” the amateur). “And how abut you Felix? Ever been friends with someone for more than a year? How come you don’t name drop any of them at all, after all the shit you’ve just given Yvessa?”

“Cause all of my friends are normal schmucks, to use your words. I didn’t make close friends with anyone that I was training with, and none of my regular friends had any plans to join the military, the place where I was going to spend the most my life in. Not a very good recipe for a long-lasting friendship that, when you know that you’re going to spend the rest of our lives in completely different worlds.”

“Literally…”

“Yeah, that’s a given Sam. No one really points that shit out. Also, if we’re being completely honest? I don’t know if I’ll categorize any of my old friendships as close as that the four, yes, four, of us have. Let alone Yvessa and her own two best friends. We’re literally training in order to be able to save each other’s lives, that calls from a much stronger sort of bond than most friendships are made of.”

“Wow. You totally just shit on most people’s relationship. Example: just because Shawn and Gus were never part of a military unit doesn’t mean that their bond wasn’t as strong as tungsten.”

“I don’t know who those two are.”

“C’mon son… But I get your point. You and your friends’ differing career paths have created a sense of alienation inside of you that prevented you from being as vulnerable and trusting with them as you are with us. Yvessa didn’t have that problem. And I never had any friends before, so we obviously can’t relate to the differing levels of friendship.”

“Yep, that’s exactly it. So this is why I don’t bring up any of my friends up. I’m probably not going to meet with them too much in the future, and you guys definitely aren’t.”

“Yeah, his lying to you,” Yvessa said, as if it was a matter of fact. “Our birthday was two months ago, and he invited me and Sarah, who couldn’t go unfortunately, to the party celebration at his home.”

“You went on your own birthday to a birthday celebration of somebody else?” Sam asked, pitying tone more than strengthened by painful past experiences.

“No, it was on the weekend of the week after our birthday. Don’t worry. My point is: He had plenty of friends there at the party, and he didn’t act any different with them than he does with us.”

“But it felt different! I assure you I’m not lying.” Felix burst out laughing. “I’m really not. It does feel different hanging out with those guys than with you. I’m being serious.”

“You laughing doesn’t help your case.”

“I can’t help it!” He straightened his back and got his face under control. “It was just an instinctive reaction to the way you said it. Honest! I meant what I said. You believe me, right Sam?”

“I do. And not only because I don’t want to have to attend your birthday party, hang out with some strangers and have a bunch of names that I need to remember.”

“Well, this year was probably a onetime thing. Next year, it’ll probably be just my family coming to visit me here. You’ll come to that, right?”

“Eh,” Sam shrugged. He then leaned over the table to Yvessa and whispered, “I told him yes, but we probably won’t still be friends this time next year.”

“No, but what about in only ten months’ time?” Felix whispered, creating a triangle.

Yvessa pushed both of them away. “Will you get out of my face please? Ugh… how did we get to talk about Felix’s birthday party, of all things?”

“It’s Sam’s fault. I asked him what’s got him so down today and instead of giving me a straight answer, he made a joke at my expense and we sort of rolled on from there.”

“Was that a double entendre just now?” Sam asked.

“No.”

“So what’s got you down, Sam?” Yvessa turned to stare at him, joining Felix’s offensive.

“Yeah Sam. Tell us. We just bared our hearts out to you, telling you all about our past friendships.”

“You guys are way bad at this when compared to Sarah.” Sam shook his head dismissively. “You got to show some emotion. Something to get me to open up and tell you what I feel and why I feel like that. You’ll never make it anywhere as a shoulder to cry on, going like that.”

“Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Is that what it is? Are you sad? Depressed? Suicidal?”

“Fucking hell, Felix.” Yvessa slapped Felix at the back of the head. “That’s taking the joke too far. What if he is feeling any of those things?”

“How? By his own admission, as long as he is under the effects of his mind acclimating to magic, then he isn’t going to be able to feel any deep negative emotions. He said that shit multiple times. And he’s still far off from getting used to magic.”

Sam nodded. “In theory, I agree with you… But in this case, I’m not going to. Because that doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do. Like, I’d think I’d be OK with a friend making suicide jokes with me if I was suicidal, but I don’t feel OK if it wasn’t me and just some average guy, even if that guy was hopped up on drugs the way I am. Anyway, can we pivot the subject? I don’t want my mental state to be the only thing we talk about.”

“It’s the only thing we haven’t talked about today,” Yvessa said.

“Not true. There’s plenty of stuff we haven’t talked about today. Porn, to name just one.”

“Why does your mind always immediately go to porn?” Felix asked.

“Don’t let him change the subject!” Yvessa said. “He still hadn’t told us why he got here all world-weary.”

“Oh right. Quickly, tell us about that so we could start talking about porn.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You guys are way too worried. You’re beginning to sound like Sarah. I’m not sad or world-weary. I’m just regular weary. Had a hard week and a hard day. Woke up early as fuck (although not earlier than usual, which is its own problem) in order to have my lesson with Lin. And while I was still reeling from that info-dump, I had to go wading through a whole other one in the form of independent studying. And if that wasn’t enough, I got the go ahead from Dan yesterday about starting to cultivate on a schedule. I’m just tired because I want a day off, but I know that I’m not going to get one anytime soon.”

“I’ll be honest,” Felix said, trying to sound earnest. “I stopped listening after you complained about your spear lessons cause all I had going through my head at the point was: ‘I was right. I knew I was right. Dammit, I’m right again.’ What did you learn about today? The basics of cutting and how it differs from slashing?”

“No, that’s for next month or so. After we’ll finish with thrusting and basic footwork. But based on this week I can already guess what the difference is. But, I just want to say that I don’t agree with you that you were right. I think I would have been just as tired if you were the one teaching me how to fight.”

“Oh, surely you would be more.” Yvessa said. “You have yet to see Felix spar, but he is not a very helpful partner for post-combat analysis… Honestly, don’t worry about remembering everything Sam, it would soon enough start seeping into your subconscious and become an instinct.”

“It would start seeping much sooner if Lin just taught him how to fight naturally instead of sticking to that rigid system he and teachers like him love some much,” Felix said.

“Look Felix, mate.” Sam held up his hands. “I’d love to agree with you. I really do. But at the end of the day I don’t think it would matter to my weary mind one way or another. If there’s one thing that I’m not worried about is Lin being a poor teacher or even teaching me the wrong way. He’s just as motivated for me to succeed that I am. That’s because he was, sort of, personally chosen to teach me by the guy that you moaned about not getting to spar with.”

“Hm… That’s a good point. I didn’t take Farris’ input into account for Lin’s method of teaching you. And the two of you did click in a weird sort of way, so I doubt that he made the wrong choice for the person who should be teaching you how to fight. I take back what I said. About you being better off learning differently, not about the way Lin’s teaching you being stupid.”

“Well, I’m sure that both my combat teacher and my mentor would very much appreciate your endorsement. Now, am I right in assuming that since Sarah hasn’t planned anything further for us to do today that we’ll all be splitting apart until dinner.”

“If she even shows up to that.”

“I doubt that she won’t.” Yvessa chuckled. “Think about it. That would mean going a whole day without seeing Sam even once. She’s not ready for that sort of thing just yet.” Felix nodded in agreement with a laugh of his own.

“Thanks for that guys.” Sam sighed. “I’ll be sure to tell her you said that when we meet up later. See ya.” He bid them farewell and rejected Yvessa’s offer to join them for open-class sparring (apparently they weren’t splitting up just yet). He still hadn’t got Lin’s permission to attend any other form of combat training and he had his plenty of other obligations pulling him away. But, today was still Saturday, his day off, and part of that day was dedicated to unwinding, the better part of which will come after dinner. But just in case dinner (which was a social event) would carry on for too long, he allotted an hour after lunch (why he was punctual about ending the meal on time) to asocial leisure time. He still wasn’t sure on what exactly to do with this hour, but he was hopeful the walk back to his dorm would provide him with an answer.