“So now that I’ve expertly defused your anger at your environment and successfully redirected the conversation back to me,” Sam said, his voice becoming serious for a change. “Do you want to talk about the cause for that anger, something that happened yesterday if I would so bold as to guess? Or leave it for next time you have couple’s counseling?”
“I think,” Yvessa said while getting up, “that we’ve dawdled here enough time already. And that whatever you guys want to talk about, we can do that while en route to the library.”
“Why the library?” Sam asked as he and Felix followed her example of getting up.
“You want to study, don’t you?”
“On the grand scale of things, yeah, I guess. But why do we have to do it at the library?”
“What’s wrong with the library?” Felix laughed.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Sam was prevented from articulating the falseness of that statement by the fact that his hands were holding the tray. “It’s just that I don’t like studying in a library. I think it’s overrated and that it’s never as quite as beneficial as just staying at home and learning at your desk.”
“Then I guess we’re heading for your room then,” Yvessa said, as they deposited their food trays back.
“Why my room? You living off campus or something?”
“No. But I’m not inviting the two of you to my room and Felix’s room is a mess. Besides, you don’t get to argue, it’s either at your room or the library, so pick whichever you dislike less.”
“I actually don’t really mind congregating on at my room. I was just being contrarian for the sake of it. It’s good to know, though, that you’ve seen each other’s rooms. Really not helping your case that you aren’t a couple.”
“First, having seen someone else’s dorm room has got to be the lowest bar ever for considering two people to be a couple. And second, he had never actually seen my room. Because we have nothing to look for in each other’s room. If we want to study, we go to a library. We were going to meet at his once to study when we didn’t want to go to the library because it was raining. We ended up getting wet anyway because I wasn’t going to spend any more time than I had too in that pig’s sty.”
“Yeah I bet you were getting w—” Yvessa’s elbow found good purchase amongst his ribs. “Not going to defend your room’s cleanliness,” Sam asked Felix, wheezing.
“No.” He shrugged. “It’s usually pretty messy.” Yvessa barked a sarcastic laugh.
“So back to what I was saying,” Sam said as they left the mess hall and started making their way towards his dorm building. “You guys want to talk about what got you all riled up? Put everything out in the open with me as a neutral mediator? Or would you rather just leave it behind? Save it for when you go to therapy ten years down the road or something.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Yvessa said. “I lost control of my emotions a little bit, and I let out my frustrations because of that. I shouldn’t have done that, end of story. If it turns out that I do want to talk about this, I have my mandatory session with the psychologist in a couple of weeks anyway. I’ll be sure to mention it to her then.”
“You guys have mandatory therapy sessions?”
“Yeah,” Felix said. “Once a month for the first year and then once every trimester for the other two. Not counting the interviews we had to go through before being admitted to the academy and that we’ll have to do after we finish.”
“Jesus Christ.” Sam sighed in admiration. “And what if they decided at the ending interviews that you shouldn’t be a soldier? You just have to stay home?”
“I don’t know. Supposedly, it can happen that the army won’t accept someone that’s finished their studies here successfully. Never heard about a case in person, but I did hear plenty of people who didn’t pass the entrance exam because of the psych eval, despite being level 2 and checking all the other boxes.”
“Wow. Lucky I didn’t have to go through them then. They would’ve sent me straight back into civilian life.”
“No way,” Yvessa said. “You’re a Thread-Weaver. Even if you were crazy, they weren’t going to give up on you so quickly. What you think all Rulers are nice, well-adjusted people?”
“I’ve only met one so far, and I actually think that she really liked me. So no, obviously, they’re not. I get your point.” He paused in consideration. A thought had occurred to him, “So am I going to have to go to therapy as well, then?”
“I think this is the sort of stuff that you ought to ask Dan about,” Felix said. “Why, are you afraid of shrinks digging inside your head?”
“No, just feeling sorry for them. Guess that it doesn’t actually matter whether I have to go, cause I do want to. I already asked Maurice about getting therapy and he told me that I had better wait until my mind stops treating magic like a drug. So until then, I’ve had to make do with dumping all of my woes on the new friends I’ve made.”
“That doesn’t sound very mentally sound,” Yvessa said.
“Still better than keeping it all inside, letting it simmer in the juices of resentment and anger.”
“Are you trying to imply something?”
“Yes, I was trying to redirect the discussion back to what we had talked about before. And I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I think that I did a pretty good job of it.”
“Masterful,” Yvessa dryly remarked. But kept her head straight and seemed intent on avoiding spilling the beans.
“C’mon Yvessa,” Felix told her, nudging her shoulder. “If you not going to tell him what happened, that’s tantamount to admitting that it bothers you.”
“Of course it bothers me! I’m just not bothered by it.”
“You do realize that doesn’t make any sense right?”
“What doesn’t make any sense is why we’re still talking about this.”
“You’re right,” Sam said while pointing to his dorm. “We can’t be talking about this now. First, we get situated, I finish all of my hostly duties. And only after that can we go back to talking about this.”
“We’re not going to do any such thing,” Yvessa said as she followed behind him up the stairs. “I’m here to help you study, and that’s what I’m going to do. I don’t know why we’ve been talking about this in the first place.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re clearly still frustrated about what happened,” Felix said.
“So what? I’m frustrated about a lot of things. No reason to waste time talking about them.”
“Guys! Guys!” Sam waved his hands between the two. “We’re dealing with this topic like amateurs. Here’s what I propose. We go into my room,” he said and opened the door. “I’m going to prepare you two a glass of water and meanwhile you get comfy on the floor.” He beckoned the two of them inside and closed the door after them.
“No thanks,” Felix said, “I’m taking the bed,” and went on to sit at the foot of Sam’s bed like some sort of uncouth animal (an image of a cat, loudly yelling in the wee hours of the morning to be let into his bedroom, only to leave after spending five minutes inside, came into Sam’s head; he shook it with a sad shudder). Yvessa said nothing and simply turned Sam’s not desk chair around and sat on it.
Sam was struck dumb with disbelief. Has the world really fallen so far, so that two of his supposed new friends were already feeling so comfortable in his presence? “Outrageous,” he muttered to himself while staring at the mirror above the sink. Which was when he remembered that glasses, or tableware in general, were not part of his and Sarah’s shopping spree from two days ago. He refilled their water bottles instead.
“Made ourselves comfortable now, have we?” he asked while taking the last empty sit. “What, the floor not good enough for youse?”
“There is a chair,” Yvessa said. “I fail to see how the floor provides a more appropriate sitting arrangement.”
“And you?” Sam turned to Felix in accusation.
“The bed’s more comfy than the floor?” Felix asked with shrugged shoulders.
“Absolutely. Which is why I spend my nights sleeping on it rather than curled up on the floor like a meth-head.”
“Want me to switch with you, then?”
“No… if I ask you to move now, I’ll just look like a prick. Also, I don’t care.”
“Great,” Yvessa clapped her hands. “So can we start?”
“With what?” Sam asked. “Because we have two items on the itinerary. We’re waiting for you on both of them, but for some reason, I think that you’re not keen to speak about one of them.”
“History.” Yvessa gave him a sour face.
“Screw it,” Felix said. “If you’re not going to tell him what happened, then I will. It’s clear you’re still angry about it.”
Yvessa let out a breath. “Fine, enough already.” She turned to face Sam. “It’s not that big of a deal really, despite how Felix makes it seem to be in my mind. We were in combat training yesterday, and the instructor pitted me against a group which should have meant three people but she decided that because ‘I was lucky enough to receive superior elven instruction,’ that I need to fight four against one for it to be a ‘proper lesson.’”
“Basically,” Felix said, “the instructor hates Yvessa, and she wanted to humiliate her by having the best fighters in class all gang up on her.”
“That seems childish,” Sam said.
“That’s exactly what it was,” Yvessa said. “A child’s attempt at an insult. Which is why I did not take Mila’s affront to heart. I was already aware of her disdain for me, which, together with not needing her affirmation of my skills, only served to lessen the impact of the event.”
“Which is why you got so angry when she called the match as your loss…” Felix said.
“That’s a different matter. She was clearly being negligent in her duties as a teacher. I was squarely in my place to rebuke her for outright lying. You saw just as well as anyone else there that no hit landed on me.”
“And yet you haven’t reported the matter to anyone. If she is as bad an instructor as you claim her to be, oughtn’t you have told the academy’s administration something about it?”
“I already told you my reasons for that.”
“Oh, so those are still the same as yesterday? Cause they didn’t make any sense back then.”
“She’s not a bad teacher, per se,” Yvessa said, while turning to face Sam. “She’s just a bad teacher to me. And since I know how much the academy lacks for good teaching staff, I’m not going to cost the students here a great combat instructor just because she’s being a bitch to me.”
“Pardon me for asking,” Sam said, “but who gives a shit about the children? So she’s a good teacher, so what? I’m sure the other students will manage just fine without her if she does end up receiving the boot.”
“Yeah, the academy doesn’t lack for good instructors all that much,” Felix said. “Everything will be just fine if Mila would get sent back to the front. Or most likely, just to another academy.”
Yvessa ignored Felix’s comment. “That’s a very selfish way to view it. I won’t be held responsible for the possibility of soldiers graduating from this academy being weaker than they ought to be due to Mila’s absence.”
“You do know that’s idiotic, right?” Sam asked. “I mean, what if she was a rapist or a murder? You’d say that it’s OK that she kills people because she’s a really good teacher? ‘Oh! We can’t fire professor Gropey McPervert! He’s got a great mind for statistics! Who cares if he slipped some of the students roofies?’ That’s pretty much the same line of reasoning.”
“She didn’t rape me. She was just being a bitch. And as far as I know, I’m the only one that suffers from her negative attention. Everyone else in our year loves her.”
“Is that true?” Sam asked Felix.
“Hell no. I, for one, don’t love her. She’s a good enough instructor, I guess, but I don’t really care one way or the other about her. Or at least I didn’t until it was clear she was out to get Yvessa. And I’m willing to bet that most are as ambivalent towards her as I was.”
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“Yvessa? Are you willing to bet the same thing? Cause it sounds like the reason you don’t want to give this Mila her just dues is because you’re afraid of further alienating yourself with your fellow students.”
Yvessa snorted. “Like I care about alienating myself. I’m talking strictly about the combat readiness of the students here.”
Sam turned to whisper in Felix’s ears. “I just met her today, which is really weird by the way cause we’re already knee deep in personal discussion. So I don’t feel comfortable making rapid assumptions about her, but she’s totally lying, right?”
Felix nodded. “She absolutely cares what they think about her—”
“Maybe don’t try and whisper when the person you don’t want to hear you is sitting centimeters away,” Yvessa said.
“You’re right,” Sam said, “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have excluded you from the conversation. Felix was just telling me you’re full of it. I’m inclined to agree.”
“How fortunate that I scheduled myself to two hours of letting Felix and Sam talk about me, then.”
“Now now. Don’t blame Felix. He was simply responding to my line of questioning. And we are both of us talking with your best interests at heart. Let me explain. And do forgive me if this comes off as too clinical, but once my brain latches onto an example, it rarely lets it go. Did you also get the stupid digging metaphor, by the way? Nah, we were talking about something else. Sorry.
“Back to the topic at hand. We have before us: You Yvessa, who we shall call Person A in order to dehumanize you and allow us to analyze your behavior from more distance. So this Person A of ours finds themselves in a new social environment in which they are socially isolated from most of their peers. Now enter Mila, who we shall call Person B, B for bitch of course. Incidentally, you are also A for awesome. Now, Person B finds themselves well liked, or liked enough by Person A’s social peers. So when one day, Person B lashes out at Person A. Person A decide not to report this to the proper authorities because they are afraid that acting against Person B, who they believe is incredibly loved by the same people who spurn Person A, will further alienate themselves from those very same people.”
“What?” Yvessa asked, her face blank.
“Yeah,” said Felix, “I kind of lost you there myself as well.”
“Yvessa is afraid that reporting Mila will get people to hate her even more,” Sam explained in layman’s terms.
“Well yeah… we already know that,” Felix said.
“Oh you do?” Yvessa said. “How fortunate that I have the both of you to tell me how I feel.” She sighed. “Fuck it. I need to go to the bathroom. You guys better not talk about me while I’m gone.” She got up and left behind her a surprisingly quiet room.
“Hey Yvessa,” Sam shouted after some minutes passed and he heard the sink running, aiming to kill two birds with one stupid joke. “You better not be switching any tampons in there. I just had the maid in yesterday.” Felix gave him a look of utter bewilderment before facepalming.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Yvessa asked a couple of seconds later, exiting the bathroom.
“So many things. But in this case, I was just trying to make you feel better by making you laugh. Apologies if the joke didn’t land, I came up with it on the spot. Also, I wanted to ask whether you modern gals still have to go through period because the thought just came up to me today.”
“I don’t need to feel better.”
“So job well done after all?”
“No… Besides, why would you try and combine those two things?”
“Look if there’s one thing that you should know about me, is that I like to save time. It’s my one testament: be as efficient with your time as possible. So when there’s a chance to do two things at once; make your friend feel better while also acquiring new knowledge. You bet your ass I’m going to take it. In all seriousness, though, if you do need to use my toilet for that stuff, It’s totally fine with me. As long as you’re fine with the knowledge that I rummage through the trash can like I’m the KGB and you’re the paramount leader.”
“You don’t miss a single chance do you…” Yvessa remarked as she was sitting down, the hint of a smile was showing at the corner of her mouth. “Efficient,” Sam mouthed to her. “Well, you don’t have to worry about me using your toilet during my period. There’s a pattern that you can imprint straight after reaching level 1 that does away with that stuff as long as it’s active. Thank god for the Reshan because the best we managed to come up with was a level 3 pattern.”
“Yeah,” Felix said. “In fact, there’s a good chance that this is a major reason why, on average, women reach level 1 earlier than guys.”
“Good chance, according to whom?” Yvessa roller her eyes.
“I don’t know!” Felix’s voice pitched higher. “There’s got to have been some research on this topic. At the very least, I know from personal experience that my cousin reached level 1 a couple of months earlier than her twin brother.”
“In any case,” Yvessa said, “to answer your question. Unless she’s trying to conceive, almost all women use the pattern that prevents the menstrual cycle.”
“Wow.” Sam nodded in appreciation. “Good for you. And good for those Reshan bastards for being so forward thinking. Now let’s pivot back, Felix?”
“What?”
“Will you remind us what we were talking about before Yvessa left the room in order to freshen up?”
“At this point, who’s to say…”
“You said.” Yvessa turned on Sam with an accusatory tone. “That the reason I’m not reporting Mila, is that I’m afraid my classmates will hate me for it.”
“Yep,” Felix said. “You did say it.”
“You agreed, asshole,” Yvessa said.
Sam turned his head to the side. “So you’re saying that the opinion of your fellow students has nothing to do with your decision-making vis-à-vis, keeping what happened to yourself?”
“I already told you. The reason I didn’t say anything is that I don’t care enough about what happened, to risk damaging the combat capability of the rest of the class. As a matter of fact, the main reason is that I simply don’t care enough. If I reported her like you two want me to, it’ll become a bigger deal that it currently is and would force me to waste more of my time on the subject. The best solution is to ignore Mila and her posse’s juvenile behavior. I would think that as someone that cares so much about being efficient with their time, you would understand that.”
“You would think that, but that’s because you’ve reached the wrong conclusion about my philosophy. That might be might fault though, so blame on me.”
“Oh? Please share with us the intricacies of your worldview.”
Sam smiled. “You’re baiting me… and I’m totally going to take the bait. So here’s the deal: When I said that being as efficient as possible is my most basic guiding dogma, I was speaking of time usage in a very narrow frame. Namely, the usage of time that is mandatory for you to spend, an obligation of the body to quote the often quoted Mark Twain. By that I mean, any action which serves no purpose except reaching the action’s end. Commuting is the best example, but I could list you another dozen right now if you put me on the spot. So, whenever you happen to chance upon a period such as this, you should strive to maximize it so that you’ll be able to return to a time of leisure as soon as possible. But, it only applies to the case in which your usage of time has no effect on any person, including yourself. In other words, the actions which we should always seek to maximize their efficiency are, funnily enough, always completely amoral.
“Such is obviously not the case with you. Even if we do take you at your word that your time, read your utility, would be better served by ignoring the Mila’s actions, it still doesn’t mean that the moral choice would be to ignore her. What if, say, she not only torments you but also other pupils of hers, perhaps students of less talent and background than yours who are thus much more afraid of speaking out against a popular teacher? This is, by the way, a very cliched trope in stories about highschool. I was thinking Persona 5, but that’s actually not a very good comparison. Give me a few and I’ll come up with a better one. Like I said, there’s a lot.”
“Is that so?” Yvessa smirked. “Then I apologize for how unoriginal my life is.”
“That’s alright,” Sam assured her. Felix laughed, but quickly hid his smile once Yvessa turned to regard him.
“I’m sorry,” Felix said. “But he’s right, you know? It is a very high school thing to have happened. But that’s just because Mila’s a total idiot. The woman is thirty, for Christ’s sake, and she’s acting like a teenaged queen bee. A total disgrace to her position and this, fine, very fine, institution, which is why I said that we need to report her.”
“Except that she’s only being a bitch to me and not anyone else,” Yvessa said. “Obviously, that’s enough for her to not be fit as a teacher. I’m not arguing about that. But since I’m the only one suffering from her shortcomings and since I have no need for her instruction, I decided that as long as she doesn’t cross any lines I don’t care if I have to stomach her every once in a while.”
“Wow,” Sam said. “You are a way better person than me. From a utilitarian perspective only, of course. Deontologically, you’re being an immoral idiot. Virtue ethics as well. Those guys really really love education and want it done right. Hell, you even suck as a moral egoist. But, if we do only look at the utility of society as a whole, as long as the premise that she’s only being a bad teacher to you is true, then you could be seen as doing the right thing and being the bigger person. And for that, I applaud you.”
“Thank you,” Yvessa said, but Sam was pretty sure she didn’t mean it.
Sam rubbed his hands together. “OK, so that was the examination of the event. Now, who wants to start with the psychological analysis of it and its effect on the both of yours behavior? I’ll give you a hint to the kind of deductive reasoning I’m looking for. It has something to do with your argument not too long ago.”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that.” Yvessa rolled her eyes.
“C’mon,” Felix said, “we’ve already got this far. What’s a bit more brain prodding at this point? You might feel better.”
“How about you then?”
“What about me?”
“Doesn’t your brain deserve some prodding as well? Maybe feeling a little resentment towards me? Close association with the social pariah rubbing off on you and preventing you from getting any friends?”
“You’re making both my inability to make friends, and your ostracization from the rest of the year, a way bigger deal that they really are.”
“Oh really? So the only reason you rushed to challenge Afi to a duel was from a misplaced sense of justice in your heart? An urge to rescue the damsel in distress?”
“Hold on,” Sam said. “Who’s Afi? Is he also from the same incident or a did we move on to a different one?”
“We’re not living in a TV drama, just so you know. There’s only the one ‘incident,’ as you called it. Anyway, after me and Felix, Afi’s considered the best fighter in our combat class, which is already made out of most of the best fighters in our year. He also happens to be Mila’s star pupil since they apparently know each other from way back.”
“Wow nepotism. Really beginning to seem like this Mila person isn’t very nice.”
“It’s not really nepotism,” Felix said. “She just knows him already, so they’re obviously going to be more friendly towards each other. It’s not like the teacher we have are supposed to be emotionless robots.” He turned to Yvessa. “As to your point, Afi’s an asshole. Yeah, I challenged him to a duel because he was trying to get under your skin, but it’s not like if you weren’t there I’d be all buddy buddy with him. I’d have done the same thing if I saw him trying to pick on anyone else.”
Sam rested his chin on his hands. “This is all so very fascinating. And so very stupid—I’m sorry that was a slip of the tongue. I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s fine. You are right, after all,” Yvessa said, with a self-mocking smile. “It’s an incredibly stupid thing to have happened and even more stupid that I let it get to me even the tiny amount that it did. For what it’s worth, Felix, I would’ve also wanted kick Afi’s ass if I saw him picking on anyone else.”
“Hell yeah you would,” Felix said. “Good partners think alike.”
“Partners?” Sam asked. “I don’t get it. Are you gay or not?”
“Of course I am. I said I was, so why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because there are people out there who tell other people they just met that they are gay in jest, even though they are, in fact, straight.”
“Who does that?”
“I don’t know, people.” Sam avoided eye contact. “So what’s this all partner business then?”
“Combat partners. We’re training as a team, hoping to get deployed together once we graduate.”
“That’s pretty much a done deal,” Yvessa said. “The real question is whether we’ll get to join Sarah’s unit or another elite unit.”
“Fair enough. And whatever the case, we probably won’t be deployed with anyone in our year, so you only need to spend three and a half more years with these people.”
“Wait,” Sam said, “three and a half years?”
“Yeah. Our first year of deployment is really just another year of training. So we won’t get separated into different units until that year’s over.”
“Hmm… good to know. And you’re sure that none of your classmates will be following in your footsteps? You’re that good?”
Yvessa scoffed. “Of course. Besides, our real deployment will be more like an investment for the future. The military expects that whatever gap there will be between us and the average graduate in three and a half years will only widen as time goes by, so they will choose for us a unit with that in mind. But still, it’s not like we’re the only two prospects for being sent to elite units after graduation. And it’s even less true that we’re ‘that good.’ Compared to some of the real geniuses in the Web, we still come up short.”
“Really?” Felix shook his head. “Geniuses? Plural? Dude, you have got to stop comparing yourself to Erianna. By your own admission, she’s one of a kind. To answer your question, Sam. Yes, we’re that good. The best in our year by a long stretch. Hell, the best in the generation.”
“Wow,” Sam exclaimed. “Good for you guys. And even better for me. Guess I really hit the jackpot on who I made friends with. I mean, can you imagine if you two were just some random schmucks and after graduating, we would never meet again? It does make things even funnier, though.”
“Makes what funnier?” Yvessa asked with narrowed eyes.
“The whole bullying situation from yesterday. How stupid it all is.”
“It wasn’t bullying,” Yvessa said.
“Oh, believe me. I know bullying, and that was bullying. One sanctioned and even instigated by a teacher maybe, but bullying nonetheless. Only unlike in my previous experience, yours stems from the fact that you are much better than the rest of your peers and they are looking up at you exactly the opposite of the much more common: looking down on the bullied person.”
Yvessa raised her hands. “Whatever it was. I’m happy that we managed to provide you with some entertainment because of ‘how stupid’ it was.”
“Oh. Don’t get me wrong. You guys weren’t stupid. I’m not laughing at you. It’s not like when you turn eighteen, you’re suddenly impervious to social pressure. Plenty of adults still suffer from bullying and the like. And the fact that the both of you are once in a generation prodigies also doesn’t mean that you’re not supposed to be affected by the behavior of less talented people.
“But it does make the actions of those very same people more stupid, which is what I’m laughing at. I mean, c’mon, they’re basically alienating people who in the future could very likely be their superiors. It’d be like if people made fun of me because I’m level zero even though I’m going to be, fingers crossed, a Ruler in a couple of years. It’s idiotic. Not to mention the whole war for survival thing that you guys have got going on that raises the bar for stupidity even further.”
“So you’re laughing because the people who will make the backbone of the future Terran army are acting like idiotic children today?” Yvessa asked. Felix barked a laugh.
“See he gets it,” Sam said.
“And it’s not like it’s just us Terrans,” Felix said. “You told me yourself that the elves could be just as petulant and stupid as us.”
“That hardly makes me feel any better,” Yvessa said.
“Clearly that’s because you believe people to be better, or ought to be better than they truly are,” Sam said.
“Or maybe it’s because, like you said, there’s a war going on and I’m going to have to trust these sorts of people to have my back.”
“Well, that’s why you pick who’s going to have your back, no? That’s why you got Felix and Sarah, and maybe me in the future if I’ll feel like it. I’ll tell you what, if this Mila person ever makes something of herself to have an actual effect on the war. Then the four of us, who will surely be way stronger than her at that point, are gonna get together to kick her ass until you’re sure that she will act as she should from that point on. How about that? And until then, or until she does something that really crosses the line, we’re going to do as you’ve asked and leave her be.”
Yvessa let out a sigh. “You mean that you’re going to do the same thing that I was going to do, anyway? Which means that this entire stupid conversation was truly a huge waste of time? Fine, go ahead. Just remember that I get to determine when Mila crosses the line.”
Sam turned to loudly whisper to Felix. “Who’s gonna tell her that we left a flaming bag of dog poop outside of Mila’s door?”
Felix laughed but turned defensive when Yvessa looked at him. “What? He’s joking, he’s obviously joking. He just learned about it today. Fuck it, we just met today. How could we have planned anything?”
“Wow, you’re right,” Sam said. “We have just met today. And look at us now, already we’re becoming fast friends making pacts for the future and planning scat related pranks on immoral adults.”
“Good for us.” Yvessa rubbed her eyes. “Now can we get back to what we were actually supposed to be doing, which is studying elven history?”
“Hey!” Sam called. “I was going to propose the very same thing. Yeah… I was going to jump off of Felix’s reference to elves being awful human beings as well and ask you how come we still haven’t begun studying about them yet. It was going to be a great segue, but now you’ve ruined it.”
Yvessa sighed.