A few hours later, Sam left Dan’s office, with the older man in tow, even more tired than he had been after the morning’s workout. Turns out that starting to study a completely new field of thought and science from scratch, with no knowledge that such a thing had even existed or was possible up till now, was hard. Nah, fuck that. Logic was hard. Calculus was hard. This went way beyond hard into the realms “now I know what the stupid comedians on Catsdown feel like in the numbers round” hard.

And the difficulty was further strengthened by the fact that Sam had yet to actually experience the famous intuitiveness of magic. It was very well that a certain configuration, if the lines were ridged a certain way, and the width and length were at the correct ratio, then the magical energy would trace better through the pattern. But what would that actually mean? It was as though he was forced to learn physics without knowing that motion was possible. Newton’s second law wouldn’t make much sense if you had no idea what acceleration looks like.

Still, he soldiered on, and Dan was a much better teacher than Sam could ever hope to be, showing him a great deal of patience, even when forced to explain the same concept for the fifth time in only ten minutes. His tutor assured Sam that he expected nothing more, and perhaps even less, than the ability that Sam was exhibiting. But, being who he was, Sam wasn’t completely able to buy in into Dan’s assurances.

After all, there was the ever present chance that Web-Web chose wrong, that Sam wasn’t some prodigy in magic. There was even the scarier option that Sam was a prodigy, but simply wasn’t able to bring his genius to bear as a result of who he was as a person. That there was a hero buried somewhere deep within him, but he’ll never be brought up to light thanks to Sam’s twisted psyche. That somewhere along the line, he had made a mistake, the wrong choice, and his personality developed in a way that prove to be humanity’s doom when his laziness or anxiety prevented him from learning magic as fast as he ideally should have.

Maybe we stopped too early for the day. It’s not like I have something else to do. Although, Dan probably can’t waste any more time helping me today. Which means I’ll have to ask Sarah for help. Screw that! Why even bring her into this? She’s already in the pits because of me. I’m sure that I can find the help I need online. Just gotta—

“Stop looking so down on yourself.” Dan clapped him on the back, saving him from a possible spiral. He was accompanying Sam back to Sam’s dorm room in order to deposit every textbook and academic material that he had deemed necessary for Sam to have for the remainder of the school year. The rest, which were left with Dan, in his magical leg accessory that couldn’t be very comfortable to wear, were for the subjects in which he was planning to teach him directly and that Sam was not to pursue on his own for the time being.

“I’m not looking down,” Sam said. “I was actually in the middle of comparing myself to one of my favorite comedians.”

“Then why do you look so glum?”

“Just thinking about how she's dead and can no longer make the world a better place.”

“Huh huh. And your thoughts never wandered to criticizing yourself for the lesson we just had?”

“No… Why?” Sam’s head snapped to face Dan’s. “You think there’s stuff to be critical about? Should we have kept the lesson going a bit more in that case? Try to make up for my detriments with effort spent?”

Dan laughed. “See, I said you were down.”

“Yeah, no shit, I already knew that. I was just trying to hide my emotions like a man ought to do.”

“There’s no reason for you to do that.” Dan tightened his hand, still on Sam’s shoulder. “Just like there’s no reason for you to be downtrodden or to hold any misgivings about our lesson today. You did fine. You showcased clear intelligence, logical thinking and, most importantly, willingness to learn. If I had to judge whether you’ll be able to make up this year in time for the next one based solely on your performance today, I’d lean towards an affirmative answer. If you can bring the same energy and will into every lesson we’re going to have together, and keep it for when you study by yourself, you’re going to do just fine.” Dan lifted his hand but gave Sam’s shoulder another clap before withdrawing it back to his side.

Sam exhaled, willing the tension to start its flight from his body. It worked, somewhat. The problem was that he couldn’t be completely assuaged by Dan’s assurances. When push came to shove, neither Dan nor Lin, who gave him a similar enough evaluation yesterday, knew what he was measuring himself up to. The only “person” who could judge Sam’s progress and whether he was giving it the required amount of effort was his friendly neighborhood robotic mind squatter.

“That’s great…” Sam moaned once he finished coming down on himself. “So now all I need to do is to somehow manage to continue giving it my all each and every day. I guess it is a little better, though. We’ve left the realms of me failing cause I’m not smart enough to me failing cause of who I am.”

“That’s how it ought to be. Welcome to the reality where every single one of us has the potential of becoming the strongest person in the Web.”

“I don’t like this world. It’s too Hobbesian for my liberal ways. Or is it not Hobbesian at all? The complete opposite, in fact?” Sam cupped his chin. “Hmm… that’s worth some serious pondering. I thought about it a lot before, but obviously without the necessary empirical evidence to go on. Tsk. I’m gonna have to table this for now though… I don’t think I have enough information yet. Yes… What were we talking about? Never mind, I remember. So that’s a no on continuing patterns lessons for today?

“Indeed. If you’re feeling anxious to get something done. Feel free to start with the elven history books I gave you. That should keep you occupied for a while.”

“And after a while?”

“After is after. We’ll see based on my final schedule and plan for your next two and a half months. Now.” He gestured to Sam’s dorm building. “We’re going to put all the books in place and bid our farewells until tomorrow.” Sam nodded. They made plans to meet after breakfast, which he’ll presumably be sharing with Sarah. Once inside his room, Dan was pretty much the sole person in charge of placing the books on the different open spaces available. That done, he bid the Sam good evening, leaving Sam to sit down on his bed and ponder his next move.

He didn’t have to let the battle between duty or pleasure rage on too long within his head because barely a minute after he sat down to decompress, his phone buzzed with an incoming call. “Forgot to put it off vibrate,” he muttered, guessing correctly the caller’s identity before even looking. “Hello?”

“You done with Dan?” Sarah asked him.

“Hey that’s almost a rhyme! Maybe it is one. I never was very good with the things.”

“So, I take it that you’ve finished your lesson?”

“Would I be answering you if it wasn’t the case?”

“Yes, of course, why not?”

“Cause I would have been in a middle of a private lesson.”

“How could I know that? What if your lesson was already over, but something happened to you after? Your default state should be always answering my calls.”

“That’s a tough order. Best I can do is promise to text when I’m indisposed. Might not be able to hold that promise, though. If any of the many thugs prowling around campus kidnap and gag me.”

“Sam!”

“What? Don’t you remember what we just talked about a couple of hours ago?”

“That was then, and this is now—”

“Evidently.”

“Never mind. We’ll finish this later. So are you free now? We’re supposed to meet for dinner, remember? You didn’t eat already, did you?”

“Not without you there to chew my food for me, no.”

“Very funny. Meet me where we ate this morning. Yvessa and Felix should also be free, so I’ll call them.”

“Oh… but I was so looking forward to some mother-son time, just the two of us. No—” Sarah hung up on him. “Rude. Now we’ll never know whether Yvessa and Felix are my siblings, cousins or aunt and uncle.” Shaking his head to clear the question from his mind, he got up to wash his face and made his way out of his room and towards the mess hall, opting to leave his headphones behind yet again.

On the way there, he kept his mind busy while considering the matter of what to do with Sarah. While the jokes were good and all, he was seriously beginning to think that Sarah was going to have a panic attack one of these days on account of worrying about him. She really is like a first time mother forced to leave her baby behind. An image appeared in his mind, quickly followed by the episode’s synopsis, but only with the knowledge that it was in the first half of the season. Hmm… Used to be that I could name what happened in each and every episode just by their number. Don’t know whether I should be feeling sad or happy that I can’t anymore. Probably happy. It’s healthier this way.

So what should he do with Sarah? He could come at her directly, like he did with Dan. But maybe he shouldn’t press her any further on this issue and hope that with time, she will begin to relax when it came to him. She was probably dealing with a lot of complex, and perhaps repressed emotions, and treating Sam like he was a newborn chick was helping her process them. At least that’s what he hoped was happening. Because that would both prove beneficial to Sarah, while also putting a deadline on her exhibiting said behavior. He much preferred it to the alternative, of Sarah’s behavior being self-debilitating and not going to come to a stop without outside intervention.

Then again, where do I get off on psychoanalyzing someone else? Least of all, someone like Sarah. Just because we share the same cause of trauma doesn’t mean that I understand what she’s going through and why she acts a certain way. Matter of fact—

“What got you all hunched down like this? Everything alright mate?” Sam straightened up, almost getting off the bench he sat on absentmindedly in order to wait for Sarah. Felix was standing above him with a concerned look on his face, while Yvessa made to sit next to him.

“Jesus, you scared the crap out of me,” Sam said a moment later. “Where the hell did you come from?”

“Would it matter? You were starting straight down at the ground.”

“I was thinking. And you haven’t answered my question.”

“Really? That makes the both of us.”

“What like twins? Ow, ow,” Yvessa pinched him on the shoulder. “It was just a joke. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Especially not after I went to bat for you guys with Dan regarding the nickname.”

Yvessa narrowed her eyes at him, but still stroked his skin at and around the point of her attack as a way of apologizing. “Now, who told you to do that?” she asked.

“I don’t know. My conscience maybe? What, am I, some kind of robot without free will?”

“No. But you shouldn’t have done that. It’s between me and Dan, and whatever stupid mind games he’s trying to run me through. Still, thanks.” She patted him on his arm before shifting back in her sit and stretching her legs and arms.

“Yeah, great,” Felix said. “So is Dan the reason you were so mopey just now? Or did something else happen?”

“Leave him be Felix. He wasn’t mopey.”

“Yeah, I was just deep in thought. That was my thinking pose. Or one of them at least.”

“Really?” Felix wasn’t convinced. “Completely hunched over, head almost between thighs, both hands cupping your face? That was you thinking?”

“Yeah! It’s a great position for when one wishes to foster deep contemplation. I discovered it while on the toilet, which in and of itself is one of the great facilitators of deep thought.”

“Fine… Then sorry for scaring you, I guess. Thought you were crying or something…”

“Me? Cry? In public? Why father would flog me just for entertaining the notion.”

“Whatever. Next time, I’ll think twice about trying to help you when I think you’re down.”

Sam held up his hands. “No need to go that far. It’s just that you surprised me, is all. I do very much appreciate this big brother act that you’ve got going around right now. If someone had actually made me cry, would you have kicked their asses in return?”

“Yeah, big bro. Would you?” Yvessa widened her eyes.

“You know he’s going to include you in the joke as well, right?” Felix asked her and Sam nodded to show his affirmation of the fact.

“And as long as Sarah isn’t here, she’ll be part as well,” Sam said.

“Well, then you’ve got like ten seconds to tell it because here she comes.” Felix pointed behind Sam at the approaching figure. Dare I? No, the joke isn’t nearly funny enough to risk it.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Sarah hailed them once all heads turned her way.

“Felix was just in the middle of interrogating Sam about how he sits on the toilet.”

Felix laughed. “The fact that it isn’t that far off from the truth is a little disturbing.”

“Now I’m intrigued,” Sarah said.

“Hi intrigued. I’m hungry. Can we move this conversation along while also grabbing some food?” Sam asked.

“I agree with hungry, intrigued,” Felix said. “And he’s not the only one who’s hungry. Plus, some of us still have a workout waiting for us after dinner.”

“Why are you saying some of us? You can single me out if you want, that’s totally fine. Just say, ‘all of us who aren’t weak little babies like Sam still have a workout to go to.’”

“I’m also forgoing exercise this evening,” Yvessa said. “I have my biweekly call back home.”

“Cool, can I come?”

“I’ll think about it…”

“Wait, you’re not joining me like yesterday?” Sarah advanced upon Sam, but when she saw Felix’s gaze, she pivoted and began walking into the mess hall with the three of them in tow.

“How exactly would that work?” Sam asked. “It’s not like I can run alongside you.”

“We can still hang out. Maybe I’ll run sprints.”

“Or maybe,” Felix drawled, “you’ll just have to do without him for one evening.”

“Ooh…” Yvessa laughed. “Someone jealous.”

“Yeah. That’s what it is. I’m jealous that Sarah tires to hog Sam all to herself.”

“Hey!” Sam objected. “I was going to make that joke.”

“I don’t hog Sam,” Sarah said, completely missing the sarcasm in Felix’s statement.

“That’s really what you got from that?” Yvessa asked, causing Sarah to blink with confusion. The conversation was cut short at that point as each of them grabbed a tray and began organizing a dinner for themselves. Sam was happy to note that Sarah chose not to shadow him during the entire process, but the fact that she was right by his side when he finished up and began looking for a place to sit left the note a sour one.

“So, what did you talk about?” She asked him after they sat down, and before the other two had joined them.

“I honestly don’t know at this point. Wasn’t you if that’s what you’re worried about. I can tell you that much.”

“Why would I be worried about that?”

“Oh I don’t know. Because being afraid that all of your friends actually hate you, and they just string you along for the hell of it, is the bread and butter of social anxiety? Speaking of which, how great is this bread and butter?” Sam happily gestured to the nice slice he was in the middle of preparing for ingestion.

“So you’re going to keep avoiding my question?”

“I sincerely thought that we were already past that. Believe me, I don’t use food as a conversation topic willy nilly, especially not when it’s nice fine bread like this one.”

“Why are you caressing your bread like that?” Yvessa asked, while sitting down next to Sarah, opposite him.

“I just really really like bread.”

“Yeah, I get that. I sometimes used to get up early in order to pass by the kitchen when they were in the middle of baking for the day. I would just stand in the corner and let the smell sink in.”

Sam looked incredulously at Sarah, whose face mimicked his own bemusement. “I think he was just joking, Yv,” Sarah gently told her, while at the same time letting Sam know that there was a nickname that Yvessa was comfortable with.

Yvessa face warped in embarrassment as she turned back to regard Sam with growing anger in her eyes. Sam quickly held up his hands. “Hey, I’m with you. Sarah’s got it wrong. I’m just like you. Love that baking smell. Standing in the corner. All that shit. I used to do that as well. Back when I was losing my religion.” Yvessa reached forward, threating to harm the now laughing Sam who just couldn’t control himself. Sarah who was half laughing herself, was timidly holding her back. “I’m sorry. It just comes out of me. It’s like a reflex.”

“What did you do now?” Felix asked with a smile while he sat down next to Sam. His plate heaped with food provided the reason for why he was so late to join them.

“I unraveled Yvessa’s dark fetish,” Sam confided in him.

“It’s not a fetish!” Yvessa almost spat from between clenched teeth, getting up halfway up from her chair. “It’s not a fetish,” she repeated quietly and sat back down. “I just like the smell of fresh bread. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Of course not,” Sarah assured her. “Right Sam?”

“What’s that? Sorry I was in the middle of looking up a clip. You’ll like this one, Yvessa, kindred spirits, I’ll say.”

“Felix, would you please slap him on the back of the head?” Yvessa asked.

“Can’t do that, I’m afraid. Sorry sis. Ow! Resorting to violence, is it? Send me that clip when you find it, won’t you Sam?”

“Can’t do that, I’m afraid. Sorry bro. That’s up to Yvessa, whether she wants to share it.” Sam closed the app and put his phone back in his pockets. “By the way. You guys did a bang-up job transferring the internet over from Earth. I couldn’t find it at first and was getting really scared for a second, but luckily, data hoarding prevailed.”

“Good for you,” Yvessa said with a sour face as she looked at her phone. “I’ll watch it later,” she said despite of it. The table regained its calm at this point, at least until half a minute later when Sarah retold Yvessa’s anecdote back to Felix in full, which caused him to break out in over the top exaggerated laughter. This time he apparently managed to evade Yvessa’s stomp, and the two continued their bickering in a linearly diminishing scale.

Once the fires of conflict completely died down, Sam decided to indulge his curiosity, and asked Yvessa, “So, is your nickname only to be uttered by certain people, or is it more of a free for all?”

Yvessa frowned. “Again with the nickname? I told you that I’ll handle Dan myself.”

Sarah nudged her shoulder. “I think he’s talking about calling you Yv.”

“Come to think of it,” Felix piped up, “I also never called you that. What gives?”

“Nothing,” Yvessa said. “Feel free to call me Yv if it pleases you so, my—”

“It does. Thanks Yv,”

“my parents used to call that me when I was growing up, and still do in private sometimes.”

“I don’t like it,” Sam said.

“Well, I don’t care if you like it or not.” Yvessa gave him a short stare.

“Wait, you got me wrong. I meant that I don’t like that nickname for you—”

“I got that, thank you.”

“If you would please let me finish, I assure my meaning will become clear and at most, you’ll only be mildly insulted.” She turned over her hand to bid him to continue. “I just meant that Eveessa is a cool name, much cooler than good old boring Eve. I mean, that’s literally the second name ever, according to some sources.”

“No, it’s not where the hell did you get that?”

Sam cleared his throat. “A little book called Genesis, maybe? Like the band?”

“You talking about the Bible?”

“Technically,” Felix said, “It’s only the first half of the Bible.”

“No…” Sam shook his head. “That’s not… true at all. Only half of what you said is right. Switch ‘half’ with ‘part’ or maybe you should say ‘book?’ I don’t know…”

“So?” Yvessa waved her fork at the two men sitting opposite her. “My parents are barely even Buddhists. The only thing they taught me about religion is meditation. And it’s not like I learned it at school.”

“Didn’t you have religions and spiritual studies?” Sarah asked.

“Not Terran ones. My private Terran tutors pretty much only taught me about Terran history, with some cultural aspects to go along with it. Besides, I’m not on trial here. Why the hell would my name be in the Bible, anyway?”

“Not your name,” Sam said. “Your nickname. It’s the same as the name of the first woman according to the bible. That’s why I said it was lame.”

“Sam…” Sarah said. “Yvessa’s name doesn’t come from Eve.”

“Her nickname as well?”

“Of course not, and they’re spelled completely differently. Also, sounds different.”

“Do they? So how the hell do you even spell her name?”

“With a Y,” Sarah told him.

“What?” Sam squeaked. “That doesn’t—No… never mind, it makes sense. What do I know? I guess that I should be asking people how to spell their name from now on, especially if they’re very foreign.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Sarah said, not noticing the frown on Felix’s face and smile on Yvessa’s.

“Didn’t you see my name in English when Sarah sent you my contact details?” Yvessa asked.

“When Sarah did what?”

“You didn’t send him our info?” Felix turned to Sarah with a smirk.

“I was going to!” She blushed. “I meant to do that after working out, but I got distracted and forgot about it.”

“Likely story,” Yvessa said.

“It’s true! Here, I’ll send it right now.” She quickly took out her phone and only a moment later, Sam’s chimed with an incoming message.

Taking out his device, Sam scanned the contacts with a raised brow. “Wow. She has you as proper people. Full name and everything, no context in sight.”

“As opposed to what?” Felix laughed.

“Felix academy. Or Sarah Taken for another example. You know, first name and context on how you met or know the person. That’s how a civilized person behaves, at least.”

“Seems rather rude.”

“It is rude.” Sarah frowned. “You seriously saved me as ‘Sarah Taken?’ That’s awful!”

Sam waved his hand at her. “I got your full name. Don’t get all riled up. Close friends get a full name or a comedic one if one applies. The whole point is that you’re close enough to them that no context is necessary. That’s just how it works.”

“In your mind maybe,” Yvessa said.

“Judge not, lest it be ye who is judged first. Just for that little remark, you’re going in with a spelling error or two.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “You already spelled my name wrong in your head…”

“Which, as we’ve already covered, was completely Sarah’s fault. I would never purposefully misspell someone’s name (if there wasn’t a bit to be had). Anyway, I guess the world truly has changed if people abandoned the context based naming system. Will be hard to adjust.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage, Sam Taken.” Felix clapped him on the back.

The rest of the dinner pass uneventfully, with the conversation mostly composed of Sarah grilling Sam on his lesson with Dan. And when that was over, she gave him the same motivational spiel as Dan did. Talking about how hard it was for her to do at first, and how much harder it must be for him even. She also, contradictorily, assured him that he will master the subject in no time while also volunteering her’s and (without asking for permission) Felix’s and Yvessa’s aid. And while both readily agreed, their affirmation of the universality of Sam’s experience was lacking compared to Sarah. Their opinion also further diverged when Felix mentioned that he was sure Sam would be fine, in contrast to Yvessa, who thought that Sam ought to spend more effort and time if he was having problems with his studies.

“And that’s exactly what I’m planning to go do now,” Sam said, trying to draw Sarah’s scowl away from Yvessa.

“Didn’t you just say that Dan told you not to study patterns on your own?” Felix asked.

“Right. I meant that I’ll be studying elven history with what remains of the day.”

“Oughtn’t you take it a bit easier?” Sarah’s face warped into worry. “You’ve pretty much studied all day already, in one form or another.”

“You call what we did studying?” Yvessa laughed.

“I’m fine.” Sam assured Sarah. “Besides, I like history. And much more importantly, I’m good at learning it. This’ll be more like a leisure activity than a work one. Also, I’m deathly afraid of the fact that you guys have this whole arsenal of common references and knowledge than I’m not privy to, and I’m not gonna be the Joey of this group!”

Yvessa raised her eyebrow “So what? We can’t talk about stuff that you don’t know anything about? Isn’t that all you do?”

“Didn’t I already tell you this was gonna be this way”—he clapped in rapid succession—“in the morning?”

“Doesn’t mean that I agreed to it.”

“Well here’s the deal, Yv…” he said in his most condescending voice. “Men have certain privileges over women. Straight over gay. Taken versus not. Etc... And seeing as I’m all these things and all three of you are found wanting more than one of these departments, that grants me a certain… status, shell we say? With which I’m allowed to dictate some of the social rules and behavioral guidelines of our friend group.”

“What about in combat ability? Cause I’m pretty sure that I’ll still be able to kick your ass even if I started liking women.” Sam silently pointed at Sarah in response, the dumb face he adopted speaking volumes.

“OK,” Felix interrupted them. “We’re going to go now.” He stood up and was forced to go over and to lift Sarah when she didn’t. “We have an exercise to get to after all.” Although she seemed reticent to part so soon, Sam was happy-sour to note that Sarah left with no further delay once she reaffirmed that Sam knew to wait for them to finish their workout tomorrow so that they’ll eat breakfast together.

“That went smoother than I expected,” Sam remarked to Yvessa while looking at the departing figures of Sarah and Felix.

“Did you think she was going to force you to come and watch them run?”

“That was the main worry. Either that or that she was going to decide that I needed someone to read to me from a history textbook.”

“You can if you want, you know? They have all the official textbooks on audio.”

“Really? Nah, that’s alright. I’ve never been the books on tape kind of guy. Especially not after the accident.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He wrote some really great books once he got better.”

“What? Who did?”

“Don’t worry about, it’s a recurring joke. It’ll make sense to the readers.”

“Are you going crazy? Do I need to call Sarah back?”

“You sound like an older sister who’s threating to call Mom on her younger sibling—Oh, how abusive are the average parents nowadays? Did it move on completely to only mental abuse, or does physical abuse still happen sometimes? I need to know for a joke.”

“I don’t think parents hitting their children is particularly funny.”

“Neither do I! But you’d be surprised. Some kids think that it’s OK that their mother threw flip-flops at them. Hell, they even make jokes about. Although, that might simply be a coping mechanism. Who knows?”

“Your parents never… did they?” Yvessa worried tone indicated that she was taking Sam too seriously once again.

“Oh, no no. And hey, if they did, then I must have really repressed it. Like, we’re talking way way down, buried so deep that even years of therapy didn’t even hint at unmasking it. And at that point, am I really affected by what happened to me when I was a kid? Does it really even matter?”

“Yes?”

“Right, of course it does. Luckily, I had a perfectly healthy childhood. Or, you can view it as unlucky cause now I don’t have anything that I can process as the reason for why I am the way I am...” Sam turned downcast for dramatic effect, but when Yvessa didn’t volunteer any response, he turned back to her. “You know, you don’t have to keep me company, right? Matter of fact, we both already finished eating so we can happily part ways. I’ll be fine.”

Yvessa snorted. “I’m not Sarah. I’m not here to keep an eye on you. But I still have almost half an hour before my call is scheduled, and it’s only a fifteen-minutes walk. And I don’t mind spending those with you.”

“Cool. In that case, would you mind spending those while walking me to my dorms? Cause I hadn’t brought my headphones with me, and I would like to use you for your entertainment values.”

“Wow…. if you put it like that, how can I refuse?” And yet the fact that she made no move towards standing up hinted to Sam that she might have been slightly sarcastic.

“Please?”

She smiled and stood up. “Manners haven’t changed after all, huh?”

Sam followed her example. “I’d agree with you. If only the fact that pretty much everyone I met and spoke to up to now has been able to stomach my behavior didn’t mean that they have only improved with the passing of time.”

“Oh, you’re not that bad.”

“Really?” Sam’s voiced was pitched a couple of octaves higher. She pointedly ignored him while she made her way out of the building.

“Doesn’t matter even if you were,” She said once they were outside under the now starry sky. “You’re allowed to act out for a while after what happened to you. Now behaving like your normal self, that would be an actual cause for concern.”

Sam laughed. “How do you know that this isn’t my normal self?”

“Because it can’t be? Not while your mind is getting used to the effects of magic. I know what Taken go through, and adult ones even more so because before meeting Sarah, I had no reason to be reading about the modern Taken.”

“And the mental influence is that evident in what you’ve read?”

“Oh yeah. There’s this autobiography of a Taken, a thirty-three old by the name of Wallid—don’t remember his last name—who wrote that he was contemplating suicide daily before being taken. He said that the only reason he stopped himself, the one time he was closest to going through with it, was that he didn’t want to leave his cat alone. After he was returned, his cat was long dead, and he found himself in the middle of the war and yet he said that the suicidal thoughts were nowhere to be found. For the first two months. Once the magic ran out, they were right back where they were.”

“Jesus, that’s bleak. What ended up happening to him?”

“I wouldn’t have told you the story if it had a bad ending. He survived the war, becoming a Ruler even. That’s what he’s most famous for. But according to him, he was most proud of his public speaking roles concerning his struggles with mental health, and helping to create the modern Terran mental health system and support line.”

“Did he ever get another cat?” Sam asked wistfully.

“He did. A couple of them.”

“That’s nice. I’d love a cat right about now.”

“Yeah, so would I. We never had any of our own growing up, but Larsus is filled with cats, both stray and household, so that there always was one in arm’s reach if you wanted some feline interaction. But there’s barely any strays in Terran cities, not the speak of this barren campus.”

“That sucks. Ask your family to pet some cats for the both of us, then.”

“I will,” she promised him before bidding him goodnight. They were already at his dorm building.

Climbing up the stairs, Sam tried to shake the melancholy of Yvessa’s story out of his head. He didn’t know whether it was the promise that he’s going to be feeling worse in a couple of months or just the fact that he really missed his cat, but he couldn’t get the image of the Taken Wallid out of his mind. He kept coming back to the fact that the guy had to struggle straight away in an honest to god apocalypse while in comparison, Sam was thrust into the lap of luxury.

I just don’t know if I can fucking do this.