The system suddenly merged out of his body and took the recorder right out of his hands! Patty couldn’t believe what he saw. It all happened so fast that he didn’t have the time to even try to stop the system. He was sure that the system blocked his minion ability and prevented him from slowing down time. That sly system!
Why would it even steal a recorder? There were plenty of other things that functioned as well or even better than that old recorder. His phone was also a recorder with so much more advanced technology, so why didn’t the system take that? After all, that wasn’t just a simple recorder, it was Patty’s golden egg! He was going to sell that thing to Grammo for millions upon millions of pounds of gold so that he could retire peacefully and do nothing in his life! The system was a thief!
“You…What did you do?!” Patty shouted.
Then, he suddenly heard the sound of a record start, as if someone pressed the play button. He felt a sudden rhythm of drums and guitar, complete with synths and melodies. Was someone playing a song outside? The sound felt far away but close at the same time. And it wasn’t just coming from one direction, it felt like he was in a room with surround-sound speakers installed at every corner.
Wait. No. This was playing inside of him. The recorder was playing a song inside of him.
“How about a round of applause, standing ovation. You look so dumb right now…” (Take a bow by Rihanna)
A beautiful voice was playing one of the classic songs from the time when Earth was still in the early stages of the electronic age. Luna, Grammo’s sister, was doing a cover of the original song, and her voice complemented the lyrics and song itself. Despite how much Patty wanted to enjoy the music, he couldn’t help but feel that the song choice was on purpose.
After all, why was the recorder still playing after the system swallowed it whole? He didn’t know anything about physics, but shouldn’t it have been destroyed into atoms? But if the system somehow used its powers to integrate the recorder itself into the system…
“System…is that you?”
And right on cue, the song changed once again as if the system wanted to respond to Patty.
“You must not know bout me, you must not know bout me, I could have another you in a minute…”(Irreplaceable by Beyonce)
And that was all Patty needed to know. The system got the recorder from him so that it could finally give him a piece of its mind.
All this time, the system was silent. The only time that it ever spoke to him was through missions. And all that time, the system wanted him to become a better student and listen attentively to the lessons like a goody-two-shoes. But of course, Patty was patently lazy. There was no way he was going to do that.
Of course, the princess was angry at Patty because it escaped its high tower just to end up with a lazy guy who didn’t want to become strong. He only wanted to be lazy. And even though the princess gave Patty all the rewards that it could have given, it never seemed enough. Patty always wanted more even though he didn’t work hard for it.
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But the princess decided what reward she could give to Patty, so she always made sure to regulate it. If it was something he needed to do, then she would give him good rewards to entice him. If it wasn’t something that important, then she would give him a few rewards and it was up to him if he wanted to do it.
Everything worked well until that happened. During his fight with Griff, Patty blackmailed her into giving him an SSS+class skill when he didn’t do any hard missions to earn it. She didn’t want to give it to him, but he said that if she didn’t give it to him, then he would die and be expelled. Knowing her weakness, Patty exploited that to the fullest and got away with it. Until now.
With the recorder, the system could finally talk to him and give him payback.
“The things I did, just so I can call you mine…the things you did..well I hope I was your favorite crime..you used me…” (Favorite Crime by Olivia Rodrigo)
[Mission]
[Requirement]
* Study for 4 hours today
[Reward]
* 1 Yi Power
Suddenly, the system gave Patty a really bad mission. One, the reward was effectively nothing. What could he even do with 1 Yi Power? It didn’t give him any reason to do the mission. Two, Patty, under no circumstance, would be caught studying…yuck…for four hours! He wouldn’t even study for ten minutes! Now, that was the crime!
The system knew that Patty was lazy and that he would refuse to do the mission. Then, why did it even give him any mission at all? Patty was suspicious, especially after the system gave him another pop-up window that he had never seen before.
[Refuse the mission? Y/N]
Now, there was an option for Patty to refuse the mission. Even though he was suspicious about the system, he still chose to refuse it. No matter what the system was planning, it was better than studying for four hours.
“I don’t trust nobody, and nobody trusts me. Look what you made me do, look what you made me do, look what you just made me do oh” (Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift)
[You have refused the mission]
[Penalty]
* 1x Patty’s Do-Everything Coupon
What was this? Now, if he refused to do a mission, the system would give him a coupon. What did that even mean? To find out more about this ‘coupon’, Patty navigated the system to find where this coupon was stored
[System Inventory]
[Energy: 200/200]
[Yi Power: 715]
[Credits: 33,750]
[Ether: 2150]
[Minion Growth Crystal: 1,100]
[Summon Scrolls: 33]
[Patty’s Do-Everything Coupon: 1]
There it was, under the summon scrolls. Patty clicked on the coupons and a window popped up in front of him.
[Patty’s Do-Everything Coupon]
[Description]
* This is a physical coupon made out of indestructible carbon paper that is the same size as a movie ticket. If a person uses this coupon, they are entitled to one favor that Patty has to accomplish. If a favor is impossible to do, then the system reserves all the right to refuse the favor.
* A refusal or failure to complete the favor will result in death
WHAT?! What kind of cheat was this coupon?! Now, instead of just the system, everybody could give him a mission that he had to do?! That was unfair and unjust! Just when he thought that he finally had the chance to be lazy, the system gave him a curveball that upended his whole plan of being lazy!
“See you tryna get to me, see you beggin on your kneeeees. Well boy I don't give a–” (IDGAF by Dua Lipa)
“Curse you, system!” Patty pursed his lips.
But wait, Patty thought. If he kept all the coupons to himself, then nobody would have to give him a mission. He didn’t even have to take it out of his inventory. He could just keep it there forever where no one will find it!
Patty raised his hand in defiance, but he seemed to be grasping a rectangular piece of paper. “What? How?!” He was holding the coupon in his hands even though he never took it out of the inventory. He tried pushing it back to the system screen, but he couldn’t. He was just punching the air.
“Damn…” The system was smarter than he thought. It made sure that the coupon was out of his inventory all the time so that someone would chance upon it. “If that’s the case then I’ll just keep it with me all the time or bury it six feet deep underground!”
And even if someone found it, would they even believe everything they saw? There was no way that people would go out of their way and find Patty to be their miracle problem solver. They would just think it’s a gag or a prank. And If he gave these coupons to people, they would think that he was a scammer.
“HAHAHA, system. You messed up! Nobody will actually use this coupon! And I certainly won't give it away.”
“Every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take…I’ll be watching you.” (Every Breath You Take by The Police)
“I’ll be the one watching you!” Patty exclaimed. “I won't let you get away–”
“Dude! Are you stalking me again?!”
Patty, who was talking to the system screen, didn’t notice that there was someone in the door just as he said those words. It didn’t help Patty’s case that this was the second time that this happened.
“Don’t follow me!” the guy said as he left the classroom again.
“Hahahaha” (Wannabe by Spice Girls)
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”