Grammo had to admit that Patty’s laziness was pretty impressive. If there was a contest in the world on who was the laziest, then he would win by a landslide, no question. It’s as if his laziness knew no bounds, no limits, and was rid of any biases or thoughts. He would be lazy no matter the consequences.
He didn’t know why, but that foolish little stunt of Patty was strangely inspiring. If Patty could have that unwavering belief in himself to be lazy in a world where being lazy was a death sentence, then achieving a small little dream of singing to the world was not hard at all.
He was comforted by the fact that he was not the only one with impossible dreams. But apparently, he was the only one who liked that stunt.
“Patrick Patterson! I have had enough of your delusions. It’s time to face the real world.”
Professor Mortimer Wraithborne slammed his foot down and pointed at the open gymnasium on the window. They could see athletes running around in laps, swimmers back-stroking their way to ends of the pool, students throwing javelins, and a pack of jocks locked together to push a boulder by an inch.
All of them were preparing for the Physicality tests. No doubt they even had some of their classmates there participating in this work out.
“You two are the worst performing students in my entire class—or maybe even the entire school. I don’t care if you two don’t care a thing about your futures—rot in a cell for all I care—but don’t you dare ruin it for the rest of us. Your talented and hardworking classmates will be dragged down and stripped of all their achievements if you two don’t stop your shenanigans and delusions!”
“At least I’m the best at being the worst,” commented Patty.
“It’s that foolish tongue-in-cheek attitude of yours that needs adjusting.”
Patty shrugged while Grammo kept his head down.
“I’m issuing the two of you a nonstop training regiment that will whip you into shape and your priorities in order.”
“You can’t do that!” Patty shouted.
“I’ll have no to time for practice!”
The Professor nodded in triumph. “Exactly. There will be no time for you to be indulging in your fantasies, and no time to laze around and ignore your real world problems.”
“At 4 am in the morning,” the Professor said as he pointed at the oblong-shaped track encircling the gymnasium. “You will warm your bodies with 1 lap jogging and 2 laps running. No breaks. This will build up your endurance.”
“If I see you stop to take a small breather, then I will add another lap for you to run.”
Patty’s jaws opened wide. That exercise seemed like it would kill him 9 times over from hell and back. He wouldn’t even survive 1 lap around the gymnasium just walking. Literally. His energy bar would deplete so fast that he would finally see if draining the bar would kill him.
And that was just the warm up.
“After that,” he pointed at the massive swimming pool that looked so long that it would rival the raging rivers around the world.
“Swimming?!”
The Professor smiled. “No. You need to hold your breath for 5 minutes.”
Why did Grammo get the feeling that the Professor would hold down their heads to make sure this happened? And he wouldn’t do it begrudgingly.
“Next, boxing. 5 rounds against our top contenders.”
“Then, we cool down by doing 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and 100 crunches. Sounds easy right? We’ll do that 2 times a day for a week, and you’ll barely be able to compete in the physicality tests.”
Patty checked out of the conversation a year ago. He wasn’t even listening. His desire to be lazy all the time and the current problem presented by the Professor left him with a fried brain.
He wanted to find a way to get out of this hell week workout, but at the same time, he didn’t want to think too hard because he wanted to be lazy.
It was a dilemma as old as time, one that plagued Patty for all his life.
One side of his brain worked overtime to create solutions, solve calculations, and try to plan an out of the box solution to get out of this problem, while at the same time, the other side of his brain was fighting the rest of his brain to take a break and not think about anything at all.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
One side wanted to FIND a way to be lazy, the other side wanted to BE lazy.
The war in his brain got so bad that he didn’t think about anything at all.
“Patty, what should we do?” Grammo tugged on his sleeve. He was a bit worried for Patty. The guy looked like he had seen a ghost—his ghost.
“There’s nothing you can do,” said the Professor. “You will do nothing but what I say or else I will have grounds to expel you both from this school forever.”
GULP
Grammo didn’t want that. The only way for record labels to take him seriously was to get a diploma from a recognized school.
For Patty, the easiest solution to his problem was to just skip school for an entire week so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the maniacal professor’s hellish training regime and the physicality test. But that would get him expelled for sure. He didn’t want that. He already cringed as he thought about what his family would do when they were notified that he was expelled. No way.
{Double Mission}
{Requirements}
* Don’t get expelled
* Participate in the hellish boot camp
{Rewards}
* 9x summon scroll
* +100 permanent increase in energy levels
* Free skips for 1 month (no drawbacks)
* System Shop tab unlock
* System Farm tab unlock
* System Library tab unlock
All of a sudden, the system flashed across his eyes and showed him a new double mission with rewards unlike anything he had seen before. The 9x summon scroll was generous, but he was talking about the other rewards that had never shown up on any of his missions before.
+100 permanent increase in energy levels?! Free skips?! System tabs suddenly unlocked?!
Where did this come from? He didn’t even know those rewards were possible. Why did the system hide these and why was it only now that he received this kind of reward incentive?
When his mind was filled up with the conflict between the left and lazy side of his brain, he was reaching the brink of mental destruction. And when this new overload of information entered his mind, he finally snapped.
“Patty, what should we do?!”
“Patrick. Submit to your fate.”
Without even thinking, without any forethought, Patty opened his mouth and spoke.
“Let’s make a bet.”
The Professor and Grammo looked at Patty with confusion. What was he planning? The Professor believed that Patty was too dense and obtuse to scheme about things, so he got curious.
“I’m listening.”
“You’ve been spouting things about how Grammo could never succeed in his dream even with hard work because you say that he is ‘talentless’. Well, I believe that even if he is deaf tone, Grammo can sing through the hearts of everyone in the world.”
“…” the Professor crossed his arms. Grammo looked at Patty nervously.
“Why don’t we put that to the test?”
“Meaning?”
“In one week, Grammo will prove to everyone in the classroom that he has what it takes to become a global singer superstar.”
“Woah,” Grammo uttered in disbelief.
“If we do, then we are both exempted from participating in the Physicality Test and given an automatic 100 on our grade.”
“Or else?”
“Or else me and Grammo will get expelled from this school and we’ll attend your stupid boot camp or whatever.”
“Woah, woah, woah,”
“Oh and of course, since we have such a short time frame, then we are also given a perfect score on any of our homeworks, quizzes, and tests during the whole week.”
The Professor thought for a second and said, “deal,” as he quickly held out his hands for Patty to shake on this agreement before Patty could rethink his foolish actions.
“Wait, wait, wait! Why am I not getting consulted about what happens to me?!”
“Deal!” Patty held out his hand.
Both of them spat on their hands and shook each other’s hand as a sign of agreement. This was an old way for a deal between two parties to be established as true and honorable.
“I invoke the name of the Chained Being to witness the contract between two human beings. May our words be as true and tough as His link and our punishment be as taut as His chains. I agree.” The Professor waited for Patty’s response.
{Surprise Missions}
{Requirement}
* Don’t get expelled
* Void the contract
* DON'T GET EXPELLED
{Rewards}
* 9x summon scroll
* +100 permanent increase in energy
* Free skips for 1 month (no drawbacks)
* System Shop tab unlock
* System Farm tab unlock
* System Library tab unlock
Of course, Patty ignored the system and accepted the contract. “I agree.”
Suddenly, the giant cumulonimbus cloud guarding the skies of this country grew dim for a second as a lightning bolt made out of chains raced through the sky and arrived at the two of them at light speed.
If anyone had a lightning fast reaction speed and had a closer look at the chain lightning, they would notice the strange prismatic aura that surrounded it. This was what separates the mortal from the immortal. The normal to the Supernormal. This was a product of one of the Supreme Beings himself.
Patty and Professor had no time to react as the chain lightning wrapped around their arms like a snake wrapping its body on its prey. The Professor, out of muscle memory, tried to pry the chain away from his body before it completely engraved itself on his skin, but it was protected by a prismatic aura that he could not even touch.
As seconds passed, the chains settled down on their skin like tattoos.
“This contract is binding. You’ll have to answer to the Supreme Being if you don’t like the outcome.” And with that, the Professor left them all alone in the empty hallway.
“What just happened?” asked Grammo.
Patty patted his back and said. “I just solved all our problems.”
“What? No you didn’t. What if, at the end of the week, I don’t perform well? You have a back up plan, right?”
“No. We’ll get expelled.”
Grammo wanted to faint.
“Relax. All you have to do is prove that you’re a good singer. Easy peasy.”
As the realization dawned on Grammo that he had no other choice in the matter because of the contract, the only thing he could say was “Oh, Supes. If we get expelled, you’ll at least listen to my songs, right?”
Patty looked at him and whispered to himself. “And the stakes have never been higher.”