Melly blinked.

Time had slowed to a crawl and she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

The magical duel between idiots had gone horribly wrong and Clemiticus had fallen. Stuck behind a pink barrier, Clemiticus lay prone before the onslaught of an enraged egotistical urchin.

Junior laughed maniacally as his prey squirmed on the ground before him. The cheering squad behind paused from their enthusiastic praise and shared uncomfortable looks. They had finally realised that they had backed the wrong horse.

“Get up son!” Derrick shouted.

Melly threw up her arms and shouted, “he’s not doing anything!”

Thea watched silently, fidgeting.

Did he learn a spell? Has he cast anything? Melly question silently.

Wait this is Clemiticus! What the hell is going on?

Junior pulled his remaining reservoir of magic to the forefront, solidifying two spells at once. Power emanated around his fingertips, flashing with energy.

“Impressive, dual casting!” Jim said, clearly enjoying the spectacle.

“Hasn’t Clemiticus lost already?” Derrick asked. “Can’t you stop this madness?”

Jim shook his head. “It’s not over yet.”

Junior's two magical spells materialised side by side, one ice the other fire. It looked as if the young mage had gathered his entire being ready for a final death blow.

Clemiticus rolled and groaned on the floor in agony once more.

Melly couldn’t see his face clearly so she ran around the barrier and knelt before the bard. Clemiticus repeated the groan.

“Get up!” she shouted. “He’s about to…”

She paused when she saw his face. It was tilted down, so it took her a moment to understand what was wrong. Instead of his typical good-looking visage, his face was a blank slate with what looked like a basic ‘smiley face’ drawn in its place.

“What the…” Melly mumbled.

Junior’s dual spells flew forwards and exploded a foot in front of Melly. The magical barrier deflected the spell but didn’t prevent her from flinching and stumbling back.

“Clem!” shouted Thea.

Clemiticus body was engulfed by a lake of ice and fire. Yet he kept rolling and groaning like before.

Melly looked towards Jim who has smiling broadly.

“What the heck’s going on?” she asked.

“I have won!” junior cheered in triumph after seemingly slaughtering his opponent. “I am the…”

Thwack!

Junior toppled forwards, hitting the grass face first.

“Oweee!” Junior wept, nursing the back of his head.

Melly’s jaw dropped as she spotted a floating guitar just above the prone form of the younger mage.

She turned to the Clemiticus at her feet. Even after being covered by fire and ice, Clemiticus still looked rather normal. There were no scorch marks on his clothes nor frost burns on his skin. Still groaning like before, the fake was groaning once more. The entire performance was - looping.

“Who the heck bloody hit me?”

Thea giggled, pointing towards the guitar, and whispered something to Derrick who roared in laughter.

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Junior attempted to stand only to be struck again.

Thwack! Thwack!

“Ow! Ow!” junior cried.

The repetitive fake faded as the real Clemiticus appeared above Junior, holding his guitar like a flyswatter.

“Now that’s - an illusion spell!” Jim whistle in appreciation.

The young mage lay in the fetal position, screaming. “Make it stop! Make it stop!”

Head Mage Jim threw an arm up and proclaimed, “Clemiticus the Splendiferous is victorious!”

The crowd cheered. Even the posse of posers applauded, congratulating the winner.

Jim lowered the pink barrier, allowing the bard to join his friends. They patted him on the back, grinning excitedly. Even Melly gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

“Well done, idiot.” Melly said, suppressing a smile.

“Never doubt the dolt!” Derrick shouted.

Clemiticus gave them his usual mischievous wink and asked Jim, “So, what loot do I win?”

Melly rolled her eyes as the party snickered.

She turned away from Clemiticus who quickly began explaining the importance of player progression. The concept clearly confused the head mage. Melly had enough Clemiticus experience that she knew it was best to make your escape before he rambled.

Melly moved away and watched the crowd disperse. Junior had already skulked away. She imagined that the arrogant mage would need to nurse both his head and ego. When the crowd thinned, Melly found an unfamiliar figure standing by himself.

It was a tall man shrouded in a white robe embroidered with gold.

“Um, Jim…” Melly began, “Who’s that?”

Jim’s eyes widened as he rushed towards the figure and went down on one knee, bowing deeply.

“Your Highness!” Jim said reverently. “I wasn’t aware we would be graced by your presence.”

Melly instinctively knelt before the royalty, forcing Clemiticus beside her to follow suit. The remaining sparse audience joined in kneeling before the monarch.

The man tore off his white hood, revealing a golden crown. He was blonde with long hair and a beard to match. His sparkling blue eyes twinkled as he watched his friend before him with a broad, white smile. The king’s clean appearance was pure perfection.

“Jimmy!” the King said jovially. “Stand up you old fool!”

Jimmy looked sheepish as he got to his feet.

“Yes, sire!”

“And don’t call me that…” the King protested.

“Sorry Ed!”

The King clapped excitedly and said, “Good Jimmy! Good!”

The crowd watched in silence as the King openly chatted with his old friend. They rambled on a string of pleasantries when the King remembered the kneeling crowd.

“All the rest of you can stand, as well!” the King announced.

They all stood before the monarch, awaiting his next command.

“Here I was thinking we had a serious plant infestation on our hands. I tell you; I was seriously concerned. And now I see there’s time for duels! Jimmy, my boy, have you found a solution?”

Jim nodded. He gestured towards Clemiticus and his party with confidence.

“These brave heroes have my lord!” Jim said.

“Heroes?” the King asked.

“Heroes?” Melly repeated the question.

“Heroes!” Clemiticus shouted, confirming with a power pose.

The king clapped.

“That’s splendid news!”

Clemiticus moved behind Thea and ushered her forward before the King, ignoring the girls' indignant outcry.

“Here is our weapon smith, sir,” Clemiticus said cheerfully. “Her weapons are one hundred percent certain to kill the monstrous plantitos. That’s our money-back guarantee!”

“Money?” King asked confused.

Jim coughed. “They are not citizens of Skull city.”

The king sighed.

“Which means they require payment,” he said flatly.

“Don’t worry mister King,” Clemiticus added “Since you’re a friend of Jimmy, we can charge you mates rates!”

“Um, thanks?” the King said, befuddled.

“Here! Take Thea, she can iron out the details.”

“Wait, what?” Thea asked, then resigned herself. “Um, sure.”

“I’ve got to practise and I have a song to write!”

The king’s ears perked up. “Song? Say, aren’t you the bard everyone has been rumour mongering about?”

“Indubitably!” Clemiticus replied with a swagger. “I have a musical duel tomorrow night! Hey you should come!”

“Clem!” Melly chastised him. “He’s the king! I bet he has better…”

“Hold on,” the King interrupted, squinting at the bard. Melly noticed he had a very ‘Clemiticus like’ scheming expression.

The King clapped his hand together.

“Jimmy!”

The head mage squeaked. “Yes, Milord? I mean Ed.”

“Make the arrangements.” The King said all knowing.

The head mage bowed low.

“Double?” Jim asked.

The king shook his head.

“Better make it quadruple!”

Ulberto the Blue laughed at his luck.

He knew he was the greatest poet in all of Fanswald and it was time to prove it. A large blue parrot watched Ulberto silently scribble a few words down on a piece of parchment. The poet sat on a blue spruce chair in his swanky manor's kitchen.

“The rose may prick!” Ulberto recited. “As scent will stick, Your heads so thick, you damn dirty…”

Squawk!

The blue parrot flapped its wings in appreciation of its master’s poetic prose.

“Oh yes, Mastery Berry!” Ulberto cooed at his azure pet. “You like my new poem? It’s about a talentless hack who I will destroy in tomorrow’s battle of the bards.”

The bird flapped its wings once more excited.

“I will need a special poem to destroy that little binto!”

Ulberto then turned his attention to the wondrous gift that lady luck had awarded him. The black pouch that some fool had dropped was now his. He laughed, staring at the single green seed.

Ulberto knew everything. He was a lyrical genius and a scholar.

Just how brilliant am I? he thought.

“This medicinal herb is extremely rare!” he said to the bird, convincing himself.

The poet pulled a stone mortar and pestle from below the kitchen bench, then threw the solitary seed inside.

“I shall grind up the seed into Muse powder and create a magical barrier around my home.” Ulberto said clearly pleased with his own ingenious plan.

“Tonight, I will be filled with a dream of poetic justice!”