"So, what are two handsome lads like us doing in this mouldy, rank hole of a scrap heap?" Nuecus asked, twirling a tiny carriage around his finger. He was dressed in his fancy miracle robes, while beside him, Derrick stood in his pristine armour. There was no denying it—they were definitely overdressed for the occasion.

Ahead lay the ancient scrap heap of Bluehill town. Here was the oddest collection of rubbish, crap and scrap Derrick had ever seen. No respectable tinkerer would be caught dead in a place like this. Yet here he was, far from respectable, nursing a strong hangover and an itch to build something loud, dangerous, and utterly ridiculous. Piles of junk, rotting wood, and filth were scattered between massive metal monstrosities here and there. Derrick grinned from ear to ear. He was in his own private heaven.

There were piles upon piles of old metal; the remnants of mechanisms that must have been abandoned many years ago. Derrick was astonished to see that the vast number of these items had little to no rust on their surfaces. Some sort of ancient coating or special alloy, he wondered.

Derrick watched as Nuecus twirled the miniature carriage around his finger, pondering the intricacies of inertia within the tiny transporter. Unfortunately, even his enhanced dwarven logic couldn’t make sense of it. Nuecus’ brand of miracle magic was just too outlandish. So, instead, Derrick turned his thoughts to the old man's question.

"Why the scrap heap?" Derrick asked as he looked around them and smiled at all the tiny and not so tiny treasures his sharp little eyes had spotted. "Well, before we get on with that quest business with the Fredreek fellow, I decided a brief field trip was in order. Your miracle trick with the carriage has given me an idea."

Nuecus smiled. "And what, might I ask is that shorty?... Is it a mighty fine idea?"

Derrick beamed. "You may. And it is! I want you to help me create a tinkering marvel within the confines of this!" With a flourish, he produced his magical multi-tool and flicked it over to his companion. Nuecus snatched it out of the air and examined the intricacies of the device.

"Nuecus has equipped Epic Multi-tool," a faint voice reported.

"Could you lend some of your special spatial skills to this gizmo?"

"What a horribly splendid idea," he said with a rather mischievous grin spreading over his face. "I see that you and I will get along like crap and pancakes."

Derrick's face scrunched up.

"Oops bad example!" Nuecus shrugged, defeated by his own curse.

"It's ok, I think I know what you mean." Derrick tried to dampen the flame of his new friend's embarrassment. "Great minds think alike."

Nuecus cheered up. "Yes!"

"Do you think you could manage to create a storage in here so I can store parts?" Derrick asked, curiously.

Nuecus grinned and pulled up his sleeves. He held the multi-tool with one hand and drew a line down its length with the other. As his skin brushed the metal, a flourish of sparks flickered out in all directions.

"Done yet?" Derrick asked, clearly fascinated.

"Nope," the Thaumaturge replied quickly. Nuecus then savagely clawed at the object with strained fingers. His nails dug into a small crack, which quickly transformed into a vibrating fissure. Derrick stared in awe at the creation of a void, the inside of which looked like an expanse of endless darkness. Just enough space to contain the universe.

Bing!

A blue light flashed. The discombobulated far away voice of Fairy the fairy sounded from somewhere distant.

"Nuecus the Thaumaturgic has enchanted the item Derrick's Multi-tool. The weapon has been upgraded from epic to legendary quality and has been given the enchantment: void storage."

"Sweet! Thanks, Nuecus!" Derrick cheered.

"You are most welcome!" the Thaumaturge smiled, looking rather smug at his own success.

With that sorted, Derrick set about delving into pile after pile of useless junk all the while extracting an assortment of bolts, screws, and Samophlanges. Nuecus followed him silently, catching the items Derrick threw his way and putting everything into the device.

"Do you think we will need this strange black cloth material?" Derrick asked. "It looks way too tough to make anything clothing related."

They shrugged and threw it in. Neither of them particularly minded. Rather, they were more curious to find out just how much 'junk' the void storage enchantment could handle.

Their two brilliant minds had somehow merged as they searched for more and more interesting gizmos and gadgets. Without words, they progressed, enhancing the newly enchanted contraption. Whatever the result, one thing was for sure, this device would have the mechanical engineering power of a tinkerer partnered with the impossible magic of the miracle inclined thaumaturge.

"Oh, look! A box of used springs!" Derrick chirped. "Now all I need is a capacitor," he muttered as his greedy eyes ranged over the field of metallic dreams lying before him. Ideas for distinct possibilities and inventions popped into his head as he spotted fittings and clinkers.

"There," he said as the green tint of glass caught his eye. Whatever it was, it had been partially hidden from sight by an enormous wall of debris. Derrick and Nuecus scrambled over the heap only to spot one of the most peculiar sights that they ever had the misfortune of witnessing.

Towering as tall as the trash pile stood a colossal statue that could only be described as a mechanical half-rat, half-lady. The figure had the torso of a rather curvaceous woman and yet it was the face that made it so repugnant. It had a long snout complete with whiskers and tiny eyes. It also possessed a long rat-like tail, but the arms and feet were those of a normal person.

"What a beautiful divine statue of utter grotesqueness," Nuecus said, clearly in awe of the bizarre artwork.

Derrick nodded, then pointed at the statue’s skull. "That's what I'm after!" Atop its head, like a crown, was a large emerald crystalline mass.

“Looks expensive,” said Nuecus.

“Looks useful,” said Derrick.

Seeing no other choice, the dwarf prepared for the climb by tying his beard into a knot. Using an age-old traditional mountaineering technique, he frog-leaped into the air and grasped the rat statue with a groan.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

"Careful!" Nuecus warned.

Derrick ignored him and scrambled up the metallic monstrosity. "Here we go," he said, grunting as he sat on its shoulder. "Pass me my multi-tool back so I can chop off its head," he called.

Yet as Nuecus threw the tool towards the Dwarf something caught them both off guard.

"NOOOOooOOOOooooOO!!!" a shrill voice screamed.

A tiny figure suddenly blurred into existence as Derrick spun around, momentarily distracted. Before he could grasp what was happening, he was struck on the back of the head with his own multi-tool.

"Derrick has dropped the Legendary Multi-tool."

"OW!" The confused dwarf looked around wildly, rubbing the back of his head as he tried to focus on whatever had just screamed. A little fuzzy brown figure darted forward in a blur, then zipped up the statue.

"You will NOT hurt, my, QUEEN!!"

Derrick's jaw dropped as a small creature lunged at him with a snarl and knocked him off the statue.

"What the fuck?" Derrick screamed as he fell.

Thunk!

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" he yelled, cradling his head in a fetal position.

The little brown creature cheered in triumph. "For my queen!" It jumped off the statue and dived directly towards Derrick's prone form.

Nuecus moved swiftly towards his new friend and scooped up the fallen multi-tool as he ran.

"Nuecus has equipped Legendary Multi-tool!" Fairy’s voice reported from a distance.

"Multi-tools cannot be used in combat by a non-Tinkerer."

"Multi-tool has been set to crafting mode: output set to random."

Just as the fuzzy creature was about to collide with Derrick, the multi-tool sprang to life. A large, metallic ring shot out from its end, its centre lined with the strange black material they’d found and connected by all the springs they had just collected. In bold white letters across the middle were the words: "JUMBO TRAMPOLINE."

Derrick watched in pain and astonishment as the strange round object grew into a sizable black barrier.

Boing!

The trampoline flexed momentarily, catching the little rat-like creature in its centre, then rebounded the attacker back towards the hard statue.

"What? Noooo!" The creature shrieked as it flew back through the air and slammed with considerable force into the unyielding sculpture.

Thud!

"Arrghhh!" the creature bellowed.

"What on green earth is that freakishly nimble thing?" Nuecus asked, his jaw dropping in astonishment.

Derrick sat up to get a better look as he felt his own jaw slacken.

What lay before them was a miniature version of the rat statue. However, this one was male, and every inch was covered with mottled brown fur.

"Ugggh!" It writhed on the ground in agony.

The strange round trampoline contraption wiggled and then shrank, retracting back into the void of the multi-tool.

"Simply fascinating," Nuecus remarked as he walked over and extended a hand to help Derrick up, handing back his tinkerer's contraption.

"Derrick has equipped Legendary Multi-tool!"

"Thanks, mate!" Derrick said, scrambling to his feet before stumbling toward the rat creature.

"Oi!" Derrick shouted and kicked up some dust towards the creature. "Who or what are you? And why did you do that to me? It really bloody hurts!"

The little rat man-creature looked up and jeered at him. "This one is Scarnoot. Scarnoot's my name. Go die in a fire ya strawberry Garden Gnome."

"You little shit!" Derrick shouted and lunged for his throat, but before he could connect, he felt the old man pull him back.

"Calm down." Nuecus sighed. "The pretty mouse ain’t worth it."

Scarnoot gave the old man a snide squeak that was all too easy to understand.

"You will not hurt my! QUEEEEN!" Scarnoot squealed as he scrambled off the floor and back up the statue's shoulder.

"Tell me why I shouldn’t kill this little rat," Derrick demanded.

"Kill me?" Scarnoot laughed hysterically. "My Queen will kill you, stupid garden gnome!"

"I'm not a damn garden gnome!" Derrick snarled back at him. "Why does everyone keep calling me that?"

Nuecus shrugged and passed the irrational garden gnome his magical shiny beating stick.

"Kill them, my Queen!" Scarnoot squealed once again.

"Hahaha. Dumbass rat. That's only a statue...." Derrick spoke only to be cut off when Scarnoot pressed a hidden button. The eyes of the so-called Queen turned on and looked down.

"Brilliant. The disgusting statue is a magnificent robot. We are going to die! How fascinating," Nuecus said.

Bing! A blue light flashed.

"The quest: Kill Scarnoot's girlfriend has been activated. Would you like to accept this quest?" Fairy reported.

"Sure!" Derrick growled.

"Kill them! Kill them all!" Scarnoot ordered.

The giant robotic girlfriend took a step forward.

"Kill! Kill! Kill!" A robotic voice reverberated from the Queen.

Derrick harrumphed and flicked his multi-tool in his hand. A long axe blade extended from its end. Nuecus clapped his hands together and produced a long staff out of thin air.

"Lightning bolt!" Nuecus shouted as he tossed a tiny tinfoil ball towards the giant robot. But it bounced harmlessly off the machine and fell to the ground with no effect. "Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!"

"Seriously?" Derrick asked in alarm. "That’s not Helping!"

He ignored the useless attacks from the old man and bounded forward. As he dashed for the humongous leg, he slashed at it as hard as he could. The Axe blade bounced harmlessly off the outer shell of its robotic limb. "Damn it!"

"Kill them! Kill them!" Scarnoot cried out again.

The robot lifted its unscathed leg and stomped down narrowly missing Derrick's tiny form.

"Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP NUECUS!"

Derrick leaped out of harm’s way, quickly assessing the situation. He needed a plan—and fast. Dodging giant robotic limbs, he carefully danced around the hazardous tinfoil balls scattered across the floor, his mind racing for a solution. The tiny balls appeared completely useless, yet somehow, they shimmered with tiny sparks.

“Seriously?”

Then it clicked.

"Ah-ha!" he cheered triumphantly, as a wicked thought flashed through his mind. The Axe blade on the end of his multi-tool vibrated as the tool responded to his thoughts. Suddenly, a layer of rubber coated itself over the handle under his fingers.

Click! The void within the tool shifted, and a big red button suddenly popped into existence on its side.

"Derrick has levelled the Tinkering skill."

"Multi-tool has gained the ability, conductor."

Derrick ran, scooping up the tiny foil balls and stuffing them into the newly created storage compartment of the tool. With each dodge of a giant metallic limb, he gathered more, determined to collect every last one. Once he had them all, he cautiously pressed the big red button and held the axe aloft. A rumble of thunder echoed from the clear sky as a wave of energy coursed along the axe blade, making it glow white.

"Lightning bolt?" Nuecus asked.

"Lightning Axe!" Derrick corrected. Without another thought, he charged in and swung the glowing axe at the shin of the giant robotic rodent girlfriend.

"No!" Scarnoot cried in anguish as the Queen stumbled forward.

The blade sliced through one leg, then the other, cutting through them as effortlessly as if they were made of butter.

"Kill! Kill! Keeeelll!" the robot repeated as it attempted to keep upright.

Again, Derrick lunged forward and lopped off an outstretched arm, and then the other, in quick succession.

"Keeeel! Krreeeell! Queeeel!" the robot continued.

"Shut your trap!" Derrick commanded as he decapitated the Queen. Its head bounced on the ground all the while making weird beeping sounds and inaudible versions of 'kill'.

"Noooo!!! My Queen!" Scarnoot cried once more. "You cheat! Why you cheat? What have you done to my lovely?"

"I've killed it."

Bing! "Derrick has completed the quest, Kill Scarnoot's girlfriend."

"You receive the loot, head of the Queen."

"You gain one thousand experience points."

"Nuecus has levelled up."

"Derrick has levelled up."

"Um, okay?" Nuecus questioned, not yet fully educated in the entire experience and levelling business.

With the threat gone, and the electric energy seeming to dissipate, Derrick released the big red button, returning the multi-tool to its usual non-robot-destroying form.

"My queen," Scarnoot whimpered as he clambered onto his decease girlfriend’s head. "What?" Scarnoot cried out in shock as the head began to hover.

"Well, isn't that awful," Nuecus said.

Before anyone could react, the head shot toward Derrick, who quickly raised his multi-tool in defence. Scarnoot squealed, still clinging to his girlfriend's head as both he and the metallic skull hurtled toward Derrick.

Brrrrr!

The end of the multi-tool opened automatically, and the Queen's head, with Scarnoot in tow, disappeared into the depths of the infinite void's storage facility.

Pop!

Bing! The blue light flashed overhead once more.

"Derrick has looted the Queen Capacitor."

The two men stared at each other in stunned silence. Neither had expected such a large object to fit into the multi-tool. Suddenly, a grin spread across Derrick's face as he surveyed the entire scrap heap. "How much do you reckon this thing can carry?"