Poor Nugget.

As far as an assassin goes, there wasn’t a single Fanswaldian worse than Nugget. He had been granted three easy chances to kill his target and had failed all three times. It turned out that his number one advantage had also been his downfall.

He may have been the world's sneakiest invisible assassin, however not being able to sense where his arms and legs were proved disastrous. Every time he tried to sneak around the magical ship, he kept falling over or knocking into things. Not having the ability to judge distances to his relevant location also proved unfeasible.

So instead of committing the crime assigned to him by his manic mistress he decided for the time being that Nugget would do what Nugget does Best.

So, he did the laundry.

This task was simple. There were no jagged edges to cut himself on. The laundry didn’t move, wasn’t hostile and didn’t randomly blow up in his face. All plusses in Nugget’s book.

And thus, he set about his self-assigned task for no other reason than to keep himself busy.

Then on one disastrous afternoon everything changed.

The boat ran aground landing on the shores of his homeland. A magical force swept him off his feet and shot him into the air along with a handful of disgruntled pirates. Crashing ashore, he watched as the pirates scrambled under the light of the blue fairy in muffled shrieks. The part had ninety-nine problems but Nugget was never one.

He was just about to return to the ship that had conveniently turned into a wagon when another light surrounded him. This one was bright white and could only mean one thing. His queen had summoned him.

“Oh, crap!” Nugget said.

The not so faithful servant braced himself for the familiar feeling of being ripped through time and space. Within a blink of an eye, he had been transported, landing upside down on the cold stone of his Queen’s fancy throne room.

“What on Fanswald have you been doing NUGGET?” she screamed.

“I, I, I…” he stammered.

“I? What? Out with it!” she demanded.

Instead of replying Nugget shrieked a string of nonsensical rambling words followed by a squeak.

“Hmmm, I see.” The Queen replied. “No matter.”

Nugget's mind went through a race of emotions running past confusion, tripping over fear and landing square into panic.

The Queen’s eyes shone with malice. She had come up with another evil scheme.

“Okay! It is time for the final plan.” the Queen smiled wickedly.

Nugget nodded to his Monarch and mumbled, “Yes your Majesty.”

She then pointed towards her shelf of magically enhanced items. The one she always kept close in her throne room for safekeeping or for showing off. Nugget was never really sure which.

“There, on the shelf, is a pouch of magic. Inside you will find the answer to our problem.”

She waved a hand in dismissal, then looked down the hallway. “You will be transported back once you pick up the weapon. This time…” She glared towards Nugget with an intensity only she could muster. “DON’T FAIL!”

He nodded as his Queen stormed off down the hallway in one of her temper tantrums. With his mission reinvigorated, Nugget approached the shelf with a new sense of urgency and motivation.

There on the extravagant mantel lay a whole assortment of objects. Each steeped with immense power the likes of which a laundry servant couldn’t fathom. Then Nugget chanced upon a conundrum. There were two magical pouches. Both were of a black velvety material and looked about the same size.

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One however had a little sign underneath it:

Do not use! Not in any circumstances should ANYONE use this!

So, nugget shrugged and went for the other pouch. He wasn’t insane plus he knew how to read. As he leaned forward to gain his weapon, the familiar sense of incoordination flopped its way into Nugget’s reality. Once again, not being able to sense his arms or their length came at a cost.

Smack!

“Ouch!” Nugget cried, as his hand connected hard with the sharp corner of the shelf. He went to nurse his injured fingers only to slap himself across the face. “Damn it!”

When would his luck ever change?

He turned his attention back towards his new weapon then frowned.

The pouches had fallen to the floor.

“Bloody hell!” Nugget swore.

Bending down, he picked up both fallen pouches and weighed them in his hands.

Now which ones which? He wondered, then deciding the lighter of the two would probably be the one with less terror inside. Placing the heavier of the two back on the shelf, he then fixed the warning sign underneath it.

“Okay! All done!” Nugget said triumphantly to the empty throne room.

Yet another light glowed around his feet and he braced himself for the peculiar feeling associated with magical travel.

As fast as you could say ‘time to kill Clemiticus’, Nugget found himself surrounded by a dense forest. Ahead was the magical wagon rolling down a dirt road in the opposite direction. There he could see his target on top, chatting about subclasses.

Nugget ran to catch up but found his lack of stamina was beyond the two horses that pulled the mystical vehicle.

So instead, he walked.

For hours.

When he finally came to the giant white walls of the city, the wagon was nowhere to be seen. Nugget would have to find them again, inside. Which meant he had to get past the two guards and the giant wooden doors that was currently closed.

What to do? Nugget wondered. What to do?

His mind then fell onto his newly acquired weapon that lay in the black pouch in his hand.

Maybe this will work?

Tipping the pouch over onto his palm, he found three tiny green seeds.

What the blazes?

Nugget peered over the verdant surfaces of the three seeds and wondered. The Queen's private collection were all items of magic. I can use these things three times only. He thought.

His first goal was to enter inside the large city. Which meant that the need was enough that the use of his first seed was justified. Throwing caution to the wind he hurled the first magical item at the feet of the guards and waited. It took only a few seconds before the seed popped into life and began to grow. A strange plant monster attacked the guards almost instantly.

For a brief moment, the guards thought the creature was a trivial matter, but as they attacked it they quickly began to panic. More guards poured in from the inside, allowing Nugget to slip through the open door.

Now it was time to find Clemiticus. A simple task one would think, but in a city of this size it took until the next day before the poor servant chanced a glance at the strange adventurer’s figure.

Determined to carry out his task, Nugget followed the vocal man up a hill and waited for him to get comfortable.

Then it was time for seed number two.

Nugget placed the second plant right next to the blanket Clem had been relaxing on and waited. Then she appeared. Out of all the times she could have turned up, why did she have to turn up now? Nugget thought bitterly.

This unlucky happenstance backfired Nugget’s plan as Thea decided to turn the entire hill into a giant hole. The force of the explosion had sent the poor servant flying.

Nugget then swore more times at that moment than he had ever done in his entire life.

Two out of the possible three attempts had gone.

Sitting alone in his little invisible world of failure, Nugget looked down at the useless third and final seed. Even if he placed it under the target, Nugget knew that there was absolutely no chance that he would succeed.

The third attempt would only prove how unlucky he was.

Tossing the pouch aside, Nugget decided to go back to the centre of town and ignored the strangely round man who picked up his rubbish. The dishevelled servant hung his head dejectedly and ignored the people around him who were chatting about the giant explosion. Nugget’s Queen would soon summon him once more and may force another one of her insane schemes on the poor servant. His mind drifted to the painful possibilities when he walked straight into a tall wooden structure.

It was the magic wagon. This time it was stationary with no occupants on its top.

A chance? Nugget wondered. No, a sanctuary and maybe even laundry.

Resigned to indefinitely washing and folding clothes, he climbed and entered the wagon.

As soon as Nugget entered through the magical threshold, he promptly tripped over.

“Ouch!” Nugget yelled. “Damn it!”

He was utterly exhausted.

Looking down at his feet, he spotted that the thing he had tripped over was a thick book that had been randomly tossed inside the wagon.

What the hell is this thing? Who throws a book? Honestly?

Nugget bent down and collected the fallen book and read the page that was currently open:

How to summon this dangerous beast to smite your enemies!