“It happened again,” Melly stated flatly while watching the bustling crowd around her. Their party had yet again caused mayhem, and another town had been affected irrevocably. At least it’s for the best, I hope. The bad guys have been delt with and the good guys freed, she thought, justifying the revolutionary rampage brought about by a now notorious plucking pirate.

“Well,” she sighed, and turned her gaze towards the culprit. “You certainly seem to have a way with people.”

Clem winked at her. “Must be my charm, stat, or my luck stat. Either way, my sunny disposition and my willingness to right the wrongs and help the needy is second to none. Clemiticus, the giver of gifts and the…”

Melly’s mind wandered off, ignoring Clemiticuses rant of self-flattery. She instead offered the man a few nods of reassurance and thoughtfully examined him. How could so much destruction follow the man? He’s like a lure for insanity: a lunatic that’s a madness magnet.

Clem nodded confidently. “And that’s why I have a strange effect on people.”

Melly offered an awkward smile. “Um, okay.”

She turned again to the crowd and watched the show slowly unfold. The people of Anchorside had taken control of the militia and were rebuilding a temporary hierarchy. Within a few heated debates, they saw fit to appoint the accountant’s wife Sandra Patsy, as temporary mayor and had thrown the corrupt Count into the dungeons. Luckily, the locals were far too distracted to notice Nuecus driving his magical carriage through the busy town.

Melly and Clemiticus slowly detached themselves from the crowd and intercepted the inconspicuous vehicle, climbing onto seats either side of the old miracle worker. The cobblestone street was old and worn and direly needed repair, yet the walls surrounding the town looked recently refurbished as if they were ready for war. Ahead lay the gateway that led to the docks. A billboard had been erected beside the gate, stating that all travellers needed to pay the local tax. Lucky for them, the guard post was empty.

As the carriage made its way through the gateway, a billow of wind enveloped them, overwhelming their senses by the potent scent of salty air.

They found the docks empty, except for a single far too grand ship.

“So, how does this all work? Will it float?” Clem asked, gesturing towards the mysterious vessel.

Nuecus rubbed his hands together. “I’m glad you asked.”

Melly and Clemiticus waited for an answer. However, instead of an explanation, Nuecus parked the carriage right next to an empty dock and released the horses. He then placed two hands behind the vehicle and beckoned the others to copy.

“Help me push,” he commanded.

“Um, are you sure?” Clem asked.

“Of course. Now choppy, choppy! You too Melly.”

“Wait where’s Derrick? Shouldn’t he help us lug this darn thing?” Clem asked.

Melly took her place beside Clemiticus, replying, “he said he was going to sus out the town. Looking for extra supplies, or something.”

“Ah, Okay,” Clemiticus said as they both placed his hands on the rear of the carriage.

“Push!”

With a hearty grunt, the carriage edged forward. The wheels turned slowly as the mass of wood crept forward, slowly at first, then sharply. Without another word, the carriage plummeted into the deep salty water.

“Um, it has gone.” Clemiticus looked confused.

“Yep.” Nuecus said cheerfully.

“Is it supposed to do anything?” Melly asked.

“Dunno,” Nuecus replied. “Can’t remember.”

Melly shot him a bewildered look, then glanced at Clemiticus, who only shrugged.

“Don’t look at me.” Clem protested.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“What about the bandits?” Melly asked, concerned.

Nuecus slowly scratched his chin, then pointed at the millions of bubbles forming above the sinking vessel.

“Ah.” Melly said, becoming resigned to the idiocy surrounding her.

Melly looked up towards the only ship in the harbour. The name across its stern read 'The Leers Pride'. Along the deck stood its crew who had been watching the entire ordeal unfold. They gawked at the view from their high vantage point.

“Oi!” one called out. “What in the blazes are you doing?”

Before the three of them could reply, the bubbles subsided. A giant burst of water erupted skywards, and a small ship rose from the depths below. The carriage had successfully transformed into a small sailing boat. Exactly what Nuecus had promised. On its narrow deck, the bandit crew were strewn, soaked to the bone with panicked expressions.

A blue light flashed, and the fairy announced. “The magical carriage is now a magical ship.”

A plume of feathers burst from the ship’s lower deck.

“Squawk!” Skittles cried out. “What the heck! What the heck!”

“Oops, forgot I left that little guy sleeping in there.” Clemiticus chuckled.

The wet parrot flew towards him and landed on his shoulder. The bird ruffled its feathers in disgust.

“Good parrot!” Clem soothed.

“Bite me, bite me,” it replied.

Melly shook her head. “Ok, now that’s all settled. What do we do now? We need supplies before we head off.”

“Sailors?” Clemiticus asked.

“Check.” The parrot answered.

“Floaty ship?”

“Check.”

“Food?” Clem asked once again.

The parrot instantly flew back to the ship. “No dice! No dice!”

The three of them paused when a bark of laughter echoed from above.

“Do you call that a ship?” A mariner teased. He was dressed in a more elaborate uniform than his shipmates. He turned to his companions and said something inaudible and his men laughed.

“It’s not the size that bloody counts.” Nuecus spat. “But what splendidness you do with it.”

“Splendidness?” Clemiticus asked.

“Yeah. Whatever you say old man,” the fancy mariner replied.

Nuecus gave the young mariner a rude gesture, then paused in thought.

“Imprudent young man!” Nuecus called.

The mariner responded carefully. “Ah, yes?”

“Does your beautiful vessel have any nauseating sustenance?”

The mariner looked puzzled. “Um sure. We have food. If that’s what you are asking. This vessel has been stocked up for a military campaign.”

“Great!” Clemiticus cheered. “Then you won’t mind us borrowing some?”

“Really, Clem? Stealing, again?” Melly chastised.

“What?” Clemiticus held up his hands in innocence. “Me? Steal? I don’t even have a bucket.”

“Shh!” Nuecus shot them both a look.

Clemiticus answered with a dopey look and a thumbs up.

Nuecus cleared his throat. “As my astute companions have rudely requested. May we entertain the notion of obtaining some cheap nutrition please?”

The Mariner looked at them incredulously. “Have you lot taken leave of your senses? There is no way I would let a bunch of raggedy looking thieves steal anything. Not on my watch.”

“Thieves? How dare you?” Clemiticus shouted, clearly offended.

“Yes, I name ye thieves. Scoundrels,” the mariner screeched. “You,” he pointed at Clemiticus, “You, look like a bloody pirate. You should be thrown into the dungeon. You will not touch or even see a scrap of our precious cargo. Take you tiny shitty ship out of my sight now!”

“Oops. Now mister smarty pants, you have done it,” Nuecus warned. “Insult me as much as you damn wish.” He pointed at the small vessel. “However, never insult that finely crafted heap of crap!”

The mariner laughed, “what are you going to do, old man?”

“Me nothing.” Nuecus whistled.

The hull of the smaller ship vibrated, causing sharp unnatural ripples. The magical ship seemed to bend and twist in protest as if it were alive. A ragged canvas flew skywards as wind filled the sails. The mariners froze as the tiny ship maneuverer its way to the rear of the larger vessel.

“Um, sir?” A mariner said shakily.

“Yes, private?”

“The wind has stopped. How is that thing moving?”

The lead mariners’ eyes darted from ship to ship. Even after ten years at sea, nothing could’ve prepared him for what was about to happen.

The smaller vessel manoeuvred into position, then paused.

Instantly, the hull split open like jaws, revealing an endless void within its maw. With an almighty crunch, the back end of the larger ship crumbled as the smaller ship took a large bite.

“Now that’s just cheating!” remarked Clemiticus.

“You’re one to talk,” replied Melly.

“What the fuck?” The fancy mariner screamed and drew his musket from his side. The scared leader fumbled with his weapon and dropped it harmlessly into the ocean.

“The mariners’ pistol has no effect,” the blue fairy reported.

“I think we know that.” Melly replied.

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.

The smaller vessel devoured the entire stern of the larger ship.

Sailors panicked and ran to the edges of the larger deck, only to dive into the sea. There was no way that they’d stay to fight the monstrous ship.

The lead mariner called out. “Help!” each time, the smaller vessel took another bite. His larger, more impressive ship shrank by the second.

Clemiticus laughed at the scene, and Melly could only gawk while Nuecus looked far too smug. Soon, the sole lead mariner was left standing on the only part of the ship that remained. Then he too dived into the sea, wailing as he fell.

Silence then descended over the docks as the sea water settled. Only one ship remained. A rather small yet full vessel covered in questionable debris.

“Food?” Clemiticus asked.

“Check,” Nuecus answered.

At that moment, a familiar scarlet plume of hair appeared through the gateway and the tiny form of their dwarf companion strode into view.

“Dad?” Melly called out. “Where’ve you been?”

“Good news, guys!” he shouted excitedly. “I got permission from the new mayor to trade supplies with the Leer’s pride.”

Clemiticus shared a look with Melly.

Derrick continued, cheerfully. “We’ll be able to buy as much food as we want at a fair price. Wait a minute. Where did the big ship go?”