Pale cards flickered in a blur through Clemiticus’ fingertips. Peculiar pictures of Kings and Queens were roughly painted on some, while others had numbers. Melly watched as the swashbuckler shuffled what he called a ‘deck’.

“The game is called Ace of Hearts!” Clemiticus announced. “It’s a drinking game!”

The party had returned to the safety of Pirate Bay and now all sat around a large table in the middle of Thea’s beer garden, each holding a large mug of honey mead. The sun had disappeared over the horizon long ago and the smell of barbeque and torches filled the air. Planning could wait, but for now they needed some time to relax and recharge.

“One at a time everyone draws a card,” Clemiticus explained as he placed the deck face down on the table and gestured towards the surrounding players. “The order will be Nuecus, Derrick, Rupert, me, Thea, Melly, Kouskous.”

Melly looked around the table at her companions. Everyone was closely watching their swashbuckling leader drinks in hand. Clemiticus pointed at the pile of face-down cards.

“You flip a card over if it’s a heart, you drink!” Clemiticus drew his mug towards his lips.

“And if it’s an ace?” asked Thea.

Clemiticus smiled mischievously, then said, “You make up a new rule!”

“Anything?” Thea asked.

Clemiticus nodded and grinned, “Yes, anything!”

Nuecus rubbed his hands together eagerly. “May I?”

The swashbuckler nodded to the thaumaturge who turned over the first card. It revealed an eight with a black spade. “Damn this delightful game! I wanted a blasted drink.”

Derrick chuckled and flipped his card. Three of hearts. The dwarf quaffed his honey mead and smiled, “What a great game.”

Melly didn’t particularly get the game but continued to watch the rest of the group as Rupert flipped over a nine of clubs and then Clemiticus turned over a two of diamonds.

Thea enthusiastically revealed her own card, the ten of hearts.

“Wait!” chimed in Derrick, “are you even old enough to drink?”

Thea poked her tongue out at the dwarf then said, “if you must know…” she gulped down a mouthful, “I am, thank you very much.”

Then it was Melly’s turn. She gently touched the smooth surface of the topmost card and flipped. It was the ace of spades.

“Ooh! Make up a rule, Melly!” Thea squeaked in delight.

Melly studied the card and thought of her childhood. After her mother left there had not been much time for leisure. Her experience of games was limited to hide and seek and make believe.

Melly looked at the expectant faces. They all were in high spirits, and she didn’t want to disappoint them. She turned her attention to the lucky swashbuckler.

Then an idea struck her, “Okay I got one.” Melly cleared her throat, “It’s called the Clemiticus Card.”

They all chuckled.

“Whenever anyone flips the lucky number seven card, everyone has to place their palm on their forehead. The last one to do this has to drink!”

Clemiticus burst out laughing, “I love it!”

Melly chuckled, “I bet you do.”

“No fair!” Thea protested. “I want a rule named after me!”

Kouskous who sat beside Melly smiled at his leader and grabbed the next card, “I am sure the next ace will be yours my King!”

The doting servant flipped his card to reveal a seven of clubs.

Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap!

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Derrick looked around at all the others with their hands on their heads and said, “Idiots!” then drained the rest of his mug. A pirate waiter rushed towards their table and placed a round of freshly poured Mead in the centre.

Melly thanked the man and looked around the garden. The crew of the magical ship had been intermingling with all the local pirates. A few of the locals had arranged a group of instruments on a small platform and were setting up. A ballad of sea shanties no doubt, Melly thought.

She noticed that Clemiticus seemed particularly interested in the musicians. The swashbuckler face now wore his famous scheming expression.

“Wretched four of enchanting spades!” Nuecus cried. “Why can’t I have a blasted sip?”

Clemiticus laughed, “You don’t have to wait to drink! You just HAVE to drink on hearts!”

“You could have said that before,” chastised Rupert.

They all laughed and swigged a mouthful together then continued.

Once they went through the first deck Clemiticus reshuffled. They started the game over, keeping the same made-up rules. As the night progressed the rules for Ace cards became more and more ridiculous. Luckily, their favourite blue fairy kept tabs the whole time reciting the rules back to them as they played.

Bing!

“The Mercrab rule: If you draw a three you must stand on your chair and shout out - what are you doing?”

“The Thea rule: You must stack every empty mug you have used. If it falls - you drink!”

“The Melly rule AKA the Unlucky rule: If you draw an eight you must drink!”

“The Nuecus rule: if you point your finger you drink!”

“The Derrick rule: If you are a dwarf you drink!”

Not surprisingly the game became a sloppy mess of spilled drinks and slurred speech quite quickly. Hugs were given often and the group discussion devolved into a chaotic yelling match.

“You know what Thea?” Clemiticus shouted, “You should join us in our saving the world thingy.”

“Yeah?” she answered as she flipped over a card and slapped herself in the face. “What about my Kingdom?”

Clemiticus swallowed a mouthful of honey mead and pointed with his elbow towards Kouskous. “Leave it up to that guy.”

The shock on Kouskous’ face took quite some time to register as the drunken servant fumbled with his mug. “What, me?”

“Ooh good idea!” Thea said cheerfully. “Kouskous! I hereby renounce my throne to you! I’m going adventuring!”

Kouskous eagerly drank from his mug, choked then saluted her.

Melly flipped her own card and stood on her chair. “What are you doing?” she yelled then sat back down. “Are you sure?”

Thea nodded enthusiastically. The younger girl leaned forwards and whispered in Melly’s ear. “This place is way too boring.”

Melly looked around at all the drunken sailors and sighed. “What shall we do?”

Thea’s arms shot up in the air. “Adventure!”

Sometime during the night Fairy made a large announcement:

Bing!

“Congratulations! Your party has completed the first area!”

“Melly has gained experience!”

“Clemiticus has gained experience!”

“Derrick has gained experience!”

“Nuecus has gained experience!”

The group all cheered with their mugs.

“Thea has been added to the party!”

The pirates of the garden all cheered as one, while Kouskous clapped excitedly.

The blue fairy smiled down and then said, “Clemiticus has unlocked the subclass ability!”

“Melly has unlocked the subclass ability!”

Clemiticus looked over at Melly and his face lit up.

“Hell yeah!” he shouted then turned back to his azure companion. “How do we choose a sub class?”

Fairy landed on the table and dipped a finger into a mug and sampled the contents, “Hmmm yum. You will have to find a trainer of whatever class you desire.”

Clemiticus appeared to take some time to think about this, then asked. “Are there any trainers here?”

Fairy shook its head, “you will have to sail to the next land to find a trainer.”

Melly couldn’t quite understand the notion of subclass. Either way, it was not on her current priority list. Her sole aim at the moment was to find a way for the world to stop spinning and a bed to pass out on.

They had hit the mead pretty hard and the inside of Melly’s mouth tasted of honey and barbeque. She eventually was escorted into Thea’s massive house where she flopped onto a small bed in one of the many spare bedrooms.

Melly awoke the next day to the piercing sound of squawking. It was definitely not a sound you wanted to hear first thing in the morning after such an explosive drinking session. It took a while for Melly to open her eyes. The room she had slept in was perfectly white. Everything from the bed sheets to the walls and carpet was a brilliant alabaster.

The bleached effect hurt her eyes. Melly struggled to her feet slowly and stumbled out of the room and made her way towards the squawking. The noise led her outside where Skittles the parrot sat perched on top of a passed out Clemiticus.

“Wake up idiot! Wake up!” Skittles clawed at the swashbuckler.

“Not now, mother,” mumbled Clemiticus who turned over and snored.

“Fresh orange juice, madam?” A man dressed in a fine waiter’s garb held out a tray.

Melly instinctively grabbed the glass then froze, “Kouskous?”

The pirate uniform had disappeared and been replaced with something completely unexpected. She turned around and noticed that all the pirates from last night had gone home, leaving only the passed-out forms of their own crew.

Many of the barrels and assorted pirate decorations had also disappeared.

Kouskous smiled as Melly sipped her orange juice. It was fresh and cool.

“This is great!” she commented, then pointed towards the beer garden. “What’s with all…”

“The remodelling?” Kouskous interrupted. “While you were asleep a few of us decided to get to work.”

Melly searched her memory and could clearly recall the man’s inebriated state the night before.

“Remodelling?” she asked.

Kouskous nodded. “New management means a fresh start.”

“Ah…” Clemiticus moaned as Skittles pecked at the back of his head.

Kouskous chuckled at the swashbuckler then said. “Gone are the days of pirates and welcome are the days of tropical resorts!”