“Why did you send those bastards to destroy our home?!” Melly demanded, her voice seething with anger.

“What? Send who?” the mayor stammered, his eyes darting nervously.

“Don’t play dumb—the wicked mages!” she spat.

“I didn’t do nuffin’... I’m innocent!” he whimpered.

Melly stood over the fallen fraudster, her foot pressed firmly on his neck as she glared into his shifty eyes. Her mind raced through the events of the past few days. The strange zealots who had destroyed her home carried an object that came from this trickster.

There had to be a connection… But damn it, why did it all make no sense? She thought bitterly.

It was as if they had been lured here on a wild goose chase by yet another fool, while the true masterminds were still out there.

"Please!" Fredreek squealed. "Don't kill me."

"Then start talking," Melly demanded through gritted teeth. "Why did your little doom ball end up in the hands of mages intent on burning our town to the ground?"

"What the… the ball?" Fredreek groaned under her heel. "I sold that gas bomb years ago—sold plenty like it. I don’t know anything about burning towns or mages."

"Bull crap!" countered Derrick. "Those zealots were sent by you, weren't they?"

"Wait, zealots?" he coughed. "Wearing robes of brown, sometimes black. Have smelly totems and strange staffs?"

"Like this?" Clemiticus asked, plunging his hand into his pocket and pulling out a staff of subjugation.

Fredreek nodded furiously. "Ah! Now I know who attacked you," he quickly spoke, “it was she."

"She?" Melly roared, "stop stuttering. Talk!"

Fredreek whimpered but continued, "I’ve never met her in person. I’ve only heard her voice. The zealots came into town years ago and threw a party. They offered me some treasure in exchange for a powerful magical object. So, I tricked hem and have them the gas ball."

"Treasure?" Clemiticuses' ears perked up.

"Shush," Melly snapped.

"AH, Yes. I said I had a rare magical bomb that would cause death in the most horrific way and they threw treasure my way. During the party, the zealots produced a strange square mirror. They cast magic on it, and it changed. Inside was a picture of an enormous castle made of dark grey stone."

"Greystone you say?" Nuecus asked. His face was pensive. “Like Ashen…stone?”

"Yes, grey stone like ash. I’m guessing from the kingdom across the sea to the south-east. From within came a woman's voice," Fredreek explained. "Such a beautiful yet terrifying voice."

"And what did this wondrous wench exactly say?" Nuecus pushed.

"Nothing much. Just about a war. She needed powerful artifacts to destroy her foe. The more interesting and obscure, the better," he answered, snivelling.

Melly harrumphed then said, "so, it's her fault our house burned down?"

"Yes!" Fredreek screamed, clutching at Melly's legs. "She commands the Zealots. I only sold that one bloody thing to the woman."

"Get off me!" Melly said, flicking the man off her leg with a kick.

Clemiticus moved beside Melly and pulled the man back. For the briefest of moments, she was surprised to see that Clemiticus was finally doing something helpful, until she realised that he pushed the pathetic bald man over and tore off one of his shoes to reveal a bright white silk sock.

"Finally! Boots!" Clemiticus shouted gleefully. "Look how flashy they are."

"Um, Clem. I don't think this is the time to do that," Derrick said, noticing the bloodthirsty scowl that had now taken up residence across Melly's face.

"Pfft, nonsense! I've been after a pair ever since my wolfy boots fell apart," Clemiticus replied. "Great stats. Increased crafty shiftiness."

“Clemiticus focus!” Melly called out, but the excited adventurer was far too preoccupied.

A frustrated Melly promptly stormed over to the looter and slapped him across in the face. Or at least she meant too. Just at that moment, the final boot came loose from the mayor's foot, and Clemiticus fell away from the mighty blow. Fredreek’s weight twisted around just in time for a red-faced Melly to send her palm directly towards his face.

"Clemiticus has stolen the item, Fine Leather boots!" Fairy cheered.

"Ah!" Fredreek screamed as Melly’s hand landed on his cheek.

"Now, why did you do that?" Clemiticus asked. "He was helpless on the floor."

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

“Ugh!” Melly seethed.

"Calm down, everyone!" Derrick shouted.

"But Dad?" Melly replied.

"Dad?" Fredreek muttered between sobs. A fresh line of blood now flowed down his chin.

“Nice hit crazy girl,” said Nuecus.

"We need to have a plan for what to do next," Derrick added.

"This travesty is very enjoyable to watch," Nuecus said, sitting down on the remains of the bed. "You absurd adventurers are thoroughly entertaining."

"Not helping Nuecus." Derrick chastised.

"I don't care," Clemiticus said as he hefted the bed sheet that held a mountain of stolen goods. "I've got my loot, so I think it's time we leave!"

"My beautiful fortune!" Fredreek squealed. Before anyone could react, the shrieking mayor, in his silk socks, dashed toward the sack of treasure. In a flash, he tore it from Clemiticuses grasp and slung it over his shoulder. The bickering party members barely had time to react before the bald man was already halfway to the stairs.

Then something surprising happened. The shoeless old trickster sprinted directly through the puddle of green giant's potion he had previously spilled. If he’d been wearing his trusty boots, he might have made it through unscathed. But with only his extravagant silk socks on, he had unfortunately stepped into a slippery situation. The added weight of the loot sack and his momentum only made things worse for the corrupt mayor.

Unfortunately for Fredreek, that side of the room also had a carriage sized hole in it. Melly, Clemiticus, Derrick and Nuecus all watched in shock as the crazy old mayor of Bluehill Town soared through the room and right out of the hole. There he was met with the loving embrace of gravity.

"My Loot!" Clemiticus bellowed as the bald man and his sack of goodies fell out of sight.

BING!

"Clemiticuses party has completed the optional quest: Donate the stolen treasure to charity. Clemiticus and his party have received an exalted status and reputation with the people of Bluehill Town," the fairy sang.

"Noooooo!" Clemiticus roared. "My Looooooot!"

Melly sighed. How would they all get their compensation now?

Bing!

A red light flashed.

"A Chain quest has been activated. After the defeat of the evil Mayor, Clemiticus and his party members have stumbled upon the secret of the evil Queen! The rewards of this quest are rated as ascended Legendary. You will receive the sum of one million gold each on completion."

"Loot?" Clemiticus changed tack instantly. "WE NOBLE HEROES ACCEPT!"

"Noble?" Melly said incredulously.

Bing!

"Clemiticuses party has completed the retribution quest of Fredreek Von Lousy! All party members have been rewarded with a personal random reward!" Fairy's voice resounded.

"Sweet!" Clemiticus cheered.

A yellow reward light flashed above Melly. She sighed and slapped the square box that appeared. A picture of a full leather suit flashed into existence.

"Ranger’s medium armour. Black," she read aloud. "Quality: rare."

On the right-hand corner, down the bottom of the floating yellow box, had the words 'click here to equip'. So, she resigned herself and clicked it. Instantly, her tarnished travelling clothes disappeared. In their place was a thin layer of well-tanned black leather covering every part of her body except for her head.

"W, what.?" Melly stammered while examining her recently buffed garments. "Seriously, why is this so tight?"

Nuecus whistled in appreciation.

"Shut it, you pervy old man," Melly said. A small square to her side flashed. It read 'change to village clothes set'. Her hand instantly darted towards the writing and pressed down. The skin-tight leather armour faded back into obscurity and her regular comfortable clothes once again covered her limbs.

"Awww?" Nuecus responded.

She gave him a withering glance then noticed Nuecus’ expression of disappointment was mirrored on Clemiticus.

Could this quest have any moments where she was not embarrassed or pissed off for at least one second? She thought bitterly.

"Oh, well," Clemiticus mumbled as he looked over his own personal loot.

Nuecus received a large staff of Thaumaturgy and Derrick was given a run-of-the-mill blacksmith hammer. These, however, were nothing compared to the prize Clemiticus was lucky enough to claim.

A white light flashed from within the ruined bedroom and Fairy announced triumphantly that his master had obtained something wonderful.

"Clemiticus has received the item, Fates calling charm, of vocational destiny!" Fairy announced.

"Ooooohhhh..." Clemiticus oohed.

Melly shrugged her shoulders.

Fairy continued, "Clemiticus has the exclusive ability to evolve his class and obtain one of the unique hero classes."

“Hell yeah!" Clemiticus cheered.

"Well done, son!" Nuecus complimented. “Whatever that means.”

"Congrats," Derrick added. “I think.”

"Hurry up," drawled Melly.

"You’ll get three choices of Heroic class," instructed Fairy.

"Number one. The Death Knight. An unmatched warrior who commands the dead. Wears heavy armour and uses dark magic to subjugate his foes. A Dark knight's supremacy can rival some of the mightiest demons in the land."

"Death Knight?" Clemiticus said. “Sounds overpowered.”

Nuecus nodded pensively, but Derrick shook his head disapprovingly.

"Sounds formidable but way too evil," said Derrick.

"Number two, the Holy champion of the light. A pure, pious paladin with the potent power to protect or pound your enemies to powder. They use heavy armour, two handed weapons and light magic. Their strength can even match that of the lower Gods."

"Holy cow," Clemiticus said, gasping.

"Solid choice." Derrick nodded.

"And the last. The Swashbuckling Pirate,” explained Fairy. “Enjoys sailing and booty hunting."

"SOLD!" Clemiticus yelled. "I choose the Pirate!"

"WHAT?!" The other three shouted in unison.

"Are you insane?" Melly yelled. “Didn’t just hear all that powerful power stuff?”

“Yeah! But I can’t say no to booty!”

In an instant, Clemiticus glowed. His clothes dissolved until he was only in his underpants.

"My boots!" Clemiticus cried.

A strange melody echoed within the ruined bedroom followed by a chorus of sea shanties. They all turned as a random red light glowed from outside, announcing the arrival of a feathered newcomer. A red Macaw soared through the giant hole in the wall and landed on Clemiticus’ shoulder.

Where the hell did that thing come from? Wondered Melly.

As soon as the parrot connected with him an explosion of clothes surged over Clemiticus.

A bright white thrill shirt washed over his chest and was immediately surrounded by a long black coat with round golden buttons. Dark black pants rushed up his legs from the ground and fastened itself to his waist with a thick red sash. Gigantic pirate boots flooded around his shins like a leather ocean current.

A long scimitar appeared on his hip complete with a golden sheath. A blunderbuss materialised and spun into his black coat, settling securely in a leather holster. Just as Melly thought the tide of clothing couldn’t get any more extravagant, a gigantic wide-brimmed black hat complete with an absurdly long white feather, fell from the roof and landed atop his head.

Clemiticus basked in the glory of his new outfit and said the only word that fit. "ARRRGHGHHH!!!"

Bing!

The white light vanished, and the blue light returned.

"Yaaay!" Fairy cheered. "You have begun the quest chain: Confront the evil Queen. To do this, you must travel north and make peace with the Ocean Lord, secure a boat and sail over the great ocean!"