Melly moved as fast as she could, leaping up a stone uneven staircase three to four steps at a time. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t catch up to the mayor.

“How’s the bastard so fast?!”

"Charge!" Clemiticus bellowed. He was right behind her. Abruptly, the stairway ended, and they found themselves in the main part of the building, leading to a gigantic multi-storied hallway with marble floors and walls covered by rich, tasteless paintings depicting their bald runaway mayor in various stages of undress and in unique poses. Melly spotted the white wisp of the iconic cape fleeing down the length of the chamber. The crazed old fool was unexpectantly fast and ran like a shrieking banshee.

"Mwahahaha!" the man hooted.

There were several people milling around the hall as she ran. Presumably servants of some sort going about their daily chores. They hardly paid attention to the spectacle. To them, it was business as usual.

"Get him!" Melly commanded.

The old man reached the end of the hall and disappeared up yet another staircase.

"No more stairs!" Melly groaned. "No more."

"These are the twisty kind," Clemiticus said cheerfully.

"I know!" Melly said back through clenched teeth.

Huffing and puffing, she followed the squealing lunatic up the aptly named 'twisty' staircase. She was frustrated to see Clemiticus yet again unaffected by the strenuous climb.

What was his secret?

She was irritated when the idiot didn't take the lead and corner the old man. Instead, Clemiticus looked to be enjoying himself like a captivated tourist. He relished the chase and had spent most of his time taking in the sights.

Clemiticus kept saying things like "Oh, would you look at that!" and "Well, I never!"

"Hurry!" she yelled at the sightseer. Please! She thought, don't make it any worse.

When they finally reached the top of the stairs, Melly barged through the yellow doorway and collapsed. She huffed and puffed as she lay on the floor of the entryway. Clemiticus stood over her and soaked in all the sights.

"Oh, wow! What the?" Clemiticus said, ignoring his exhausted comrade.

Before them lay an immense bedchamber, the most extravagantly decorated room they had ever seen. The walls were entirely covered with enormous, gold-framed paintings of the mayor, stretching from floor to ceiling. Tall, polished wooden chests and wardrobes, adorned with intricate silver filigree, lined the room. Every surface was cluttered with coins, jars, jewels, accessories, and artifacts, all gleaming and glittering in the light. The entire space shimmered with a dazzling array of shiny, silvery, and sparkling treasures.

"Now this is what I call loot!" Clemiticus whistled.

"The man has zero fashion sense," Melly muttered, pulling herself onto her feet for a better look.

"I beg your pardon?" the bald man asked, clearly affronted.

The mayor ceremoniously had emerged from a side entrance, having used the extra time they spent admiring his room to swap his noble robes for a full set of ruby-encrusted armour—though he still sported his white cape.

"How the hell did you manage to change so quickly?" Melly asked. "Never mind. I'm going to kill you now."

The bald man gave her a wicked smile. "You kill me? Do you know who I am?"

Clemiticus made a rude hand signal. It was time for him to insert his absurd presence into the serious scene.

"I know this one. Um. You're the ice princess?" Clemiticus guessed.

Melly and the mayor both turned to him simultaneously. Their faces were incredulous.

"What?" they both said together.

"Oh! Oh, I know! You're a sparkly wizard who has the peculiar fetish of white capes?" Clemiticus amended. "No? Okay. Long-lost sock puppet from another time sent to find love in the big city?"

"Buddy! You have issues," the mayor said.

"I'm not your buddy, guy!" Clemiticus quickly responded.

Melly once again placed her hand over her face.

"You're an idiot," the mayor replied.

"Thanks, friend," Clemiticus said then winked.

Melly shook her head and coughed. "Well, anyway. Back to business. We were chasing you, and you were about to... "

The bald man flinched. "Ah, yes. Introductions. I am the mayor of this city. Fredreek Von Lousy!"

"Ah, that guy!" Clemiticus shouted. "We got your note!"

Un-phased by the severity of the situation, Clemiticus strode over beside Fredreek and produced the letter. "See, here it is."

Fredreek swatted the note away and then eyed the two of them. A smile appeared on his lips that twisted into a wide grin. He then burst out laughing in the most maniacal way possible.

"That's it I'm gonna kill 'im!" Melly spat.

"Wait." Fredreek held up a hand and fought through his mirth. "You broke the weapon?" He burst out laughing again.

Stolen novel; please report.

"What's so funny?" Melly asked.

"Your days are numbered. For I am the world's bestest Alchemist, and you have been afflicted by my power. There is but one cure, and your only hope resides with me," he said, smirking as his eyes lingered over Melly. "That is, if you please me."

"Huh, what?!" Clemiticus asked. He then looked once more around the room. His eyes were small slits of concentration.

"Oh. Oh, no. You're thinking again," Melly said, "that never ends well."

Then, to Melly's complete shock, Clemiticus said something... intelligent.

"For someone who is supposed to be some great alchemist." Clemiticus drawled. Fredreek shot him a sharp look. "I have yet to see any evidence that you own a single piece of potion or magic equipment. We just ran through your entire tower and nothing. Just art stuff, piles of loot and money. If I didn't know any better, I’d say your trade is not of an Alchemist but a swindler."

Melly stood frozen. She stared at her companion in complete confusion. What he said made sense. She tore her gaze from Clemiticus and found Fredreek Von Lousy now squirming under their gaze. A brilliant thought came to her mind.

"Wait. That means I can hit you."

"Let me first check," Clemiticus asked.

A blue light flashed, and the familiar fairy appeared.

"Master?" it asked expectantly.

"Fairy. Can you inspect our doom curse now? What does it say?" Clem asked calmly.

The fairy scrunched up its little blue nose and had a good look. "Doom curse. Lasts two weeks. Causes mild irritation when inhaled. Contains flour, yellow flower extract and a mild mushroom spore dose."

Melly gave out a tremendous sigh of relief. “And why didn’t you tell us that before?”

“You didn’t ask.” the fairy smiled. “The doom curse was just a name.”

Clem grinned. "Well, that's good news. We should tell the others."

"So, where did all that puss nonsense and death stuff come from?" Melly questioned.

"Only in that letter," Clemiticus replied. "It was all a fake."

"Where is the rest of our party?" Melly asked.

As if in answer, the tower's side suddenly burst outward, bricks and debris flying in all directions. A carriage, hovering a hundred feet in the air, shot through the newly created hole. With a deafening crash, the magical vehicle barrelled into the large bedroom, sending dust billowing as it ploughed through Fredreek's silver-trimmed bed, reducing it to splinters.

“Well, that was lucky,” said Clemiticus.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Fredreek bellowed.

Two figures emerged amid the chaos. One was a red-haired dwarf, gripping a multi-tool set to axe mode. The other, a miracle worker, held a ball of aluminium above his head, ready to strike.

“See I told you we should follow the blue gits voice,” Derrick said.

“I stand corrected,” the miracle worker said with a grin. Nuecus the Thaumaturgic snapped his fingers, shrinking the carriage down to a more manageable handheld size. The two interlopers waved to their friends and quickly joined them.

A chime rang out above, followed by a raucous melody from invisible instruments. Blue lights flashed, as Fairy's voice sang out, "A new event has begun!"

"What in the wondrous land is that ghastly music?" Nuecus asked.

"Oh, it's a Boss fight! That music means Boss fight!" Clemiticus shouted excitedly, clearly thinking that was enough information to answer the question.

Melly knew it wasn't. It only created more puzzlement.

"Who, then is this slippery character?" Derrick asked, casting a quick death stare at his apparent enemy.

"Fredreek Von Lousy!" Melly replied, staring at the simpleton. "The doom curse was a dud and this guy nearly kicked me down a damn death pit."

Derrick eyed the man with malice. "Oh. Okay. Killing time," Derrick said with a murderous scowl.

Melly nodded.

“I may not be an alchemist, but I know someone who is...” Before anyone could react, Fredreek, sensing the danger, pulled out a spherical green vial of liquid. A label on its surface read "From Her." Without hesitation, he smashed the glass over his own bald head. The concoction spread across his body, bubbling as it seeped into his ruby armour.

Ugh… That stinks!” Clem grimaced, his nose wrinkling in disgust. Melly was just about to cover her nose when something in the air shifted. They all froze, eyes wide as Fredreek began to grow.

The liquid on Fredreek’s bald head and ruby armour bubbled and spread rapidly across his body. His muscles swelled, straining against the armour as the plates groaned and creaked to fit his growing size.

His cape transformed into a billowing curtain that snapped like dragon wings, while his eyes, once cold, now blazed with unnatural rage. The ground trembled under his weight, and the air thickened with dread.

Suddenly, the fairy’s voice chimed in, breaking the tense silence. “Fredreek Von Lousy has used the potion Giant's Blood. Fredreek Von Lousy has become enraged.”

"Oh shit, he's going berserk!" Clemiticus shouted. "We gotta act quick!"

"You think?" Melly snapped.

Instantly the enraged boss Fredreek charged forwards. The four of them had barely enough time to get away before the infuriated mayor slammed into a bookshelf.

Thump!

Fredreek’s immense weight toppled books, sending his personal library scattering across the floor. Melly flinched, bracing for the onslaught to continue, but the attack paused unexpectedly, as if on temporary hold.

"Seriously?" Clemiticus shouted and threw his arms up. "My first Boss battle and you chose the charge and stun mechanic. How lame."

"What are you bloody on about, oh wise one?" Nuecus asked.

Clemiticus rolled his eyes. "Okay, watch this." He strode over to the stunned Fredreek, picked up a fallen silver-covered bedpost, and clubbed the bald man in the back of the head.

Fredreek flashed red a few times, then roared.

As soon as Clemiticus stepped back, Fredreek leaped out of the broken bookcase, flailing his arms wildly. His frantic movements made him look rather ridiculous and posed no real threat to anyone. Unfortunately for the mayor, the remains of his bed took the brunt of his chaotic outburst.

"Ok. Now watch this! He will charge again," Clemiticus said unafraid. “Just move out of his way.”

"Surely not? It didn't work last time." Melly scoffed. "Why would he charge again?"

Clemiticus hushed her and directed her by the arm. “Three, two, one.” As if a switch had been turned on, Fredreek roared once more and charged towards them. They easily stepped to the side out of harm's way. This time, Fredreek connected with a very fine-looking silver-plated water fountain.

CRASH!

Derrick, Nuecus and Melly stared at the boss in confused fascination. Clemiticus however looked incredibly bored.

"See? I told you; this is such a boring fight. I prefer bosses with fun, challenging mechanics that feel rewarding—like dodging a barrage of spicy attacks to earn cool, magical buffs. This is just lazy writing."

Melly sighed, irritated. "Alright, just tell me how to kill this guy."

"Oh, that's simple." Clemiticus chirped. "All you have to do is wait for him to charge and get stuck. Then you hit the boss in the back three times. Don't ask me why. It's just an unwritten rule of tutorial Boss fights." As he spoke, Clemiticus strode lazily to the Bosses behind and struck him again.

Once more, the Boss flashed red, jumped up and roared. This time the party members simply moved out of the way of the chaotic charge of the mad bald man. On his third and final charge, he landed on a rather sizable treasure chest that sat next to the shattered bookcase.

The chest exploded into a shower of gold, silver and jewels. Clemiticus threw his club to Melly. "Would you like to finish him?" he asked.

She considered all the trouble the mayor had caused her, then nodded eagerly.

Thud!

Fredreek Von Lousy let out one final roar before his magical giant power faded. His armour melted like chocolate left in the sun. Now hunched over and whimpering, the mayor weakly raised an arm in surrender.

"No more," he pleaded.

"I absolutely hate to say it, but Clemiticus was right. This is stupid," Melly confirmed.

"FREDREEK VON LOUSY HAS BEEN DEFEATED!" the fairies' voice sang. Fairy was the only one in the room to show any visible signs of enthusiasm.

The strange boss music faded, and a blue light flashed. "All party members have received substantial experience points. Everyone has levelled up twice! Well done, guys!"

Without missing a beat, Clemiticus grabbed the mayor's bedsheet and started scooping up all the treasures he could find into a makeshift sack. He looked like he was drooling, muttering repeatedly under his breath, "Loot! Loot!"

Melly gripped the bedpost in her hand and loomed over the fallen mayor. "Give me one good reason, why I shouldn't bash your head in?"