Far to the southeast of Fanswald is a land controlled by fear. A place they call Auralasti. The island nation is surrounded by a deep ocean, protected by a nightmarish sea monster. On the southernmost coast sits the capital, Ashenstone city. Made entirely out of rock from a long dead volcano. The walls around the city are vast and, in its middle, stands a tall, grey stone tower.

Deep within the Ashen spire and far beyond the reach of any hero, the Witch Queen shrieked in rage.

“Where the bloody hell are they?” The Queen threw her chalice across the room with an audible crash, spluttering thick red wine and shattered glass across the detailed tapestries of the throne room. Her temper-tantrum had reached boiling point. She screamed once more and stamped her feet.

A servant strode into the room, then froze in shock. His eyes bulged as he spotted his Queen’s enraged fit. He had just witnessed something that he wasn’t supposed to.

The servant edged backwards as silently as he could, but it was too late.

“You! There!” The Queen yelled at the intruder.

“Shit.” The servant mumbled.

“What was that?” She demanded.

“I said, Yes, your majesty.”

The Queen examined the servant with scorn. “Come here.”

The servant bowed his head and timidly approached the incensed monarch.

“Sit!” she commanded.

The servant obeyed and squatted in front of the throne. The Witch Queen turned to her right and pulled a large dusty tome off a shelf. She blew on the dusty book and a giant cloud billowed over the servant’s face who fought off the urge to cough. Then failed.

Cough.

“What was your name again?” the Queen asked.

“Nugget, Your Majesty,” he replied.

“I haven’t been able to contact my mages,” she informed him. “My ogre is dead, and the culprits have yet to be...” She eyed her servant with disgust, “dealt with.”

The servant looked up into the menacing eyes of his Queen. He wasn’t liking where this conversation was going.

“Fear not!” The Queen smiled at Nugget. “You won’t be harmed. You’ll be the instrument of these interlopers’ downfall.”

These words, however, did little to dispel the servant’s anxiety.

“They have a traitor in their midst.” She said triumphantly. “And my spy has informed me of their leaders’ greatest weakness.” The Queen burst out laughing.

With a flick of her wrist, a wand appeared in the Witch’s outstretched hand. The spell book flew open, floating mid-air with a sparkle of indigo magic and a whiff of doom. Her spare hand landed on a page and magic flew from the end of her wand.

“Partum ingenii imbecillitate praedonum!”

The evil Queen cast the ancient spell and Nugget vanished.

*************

Melly lay in extreme comfort under the shade of a sail with her legs crossed and hands behind her head. She couldn’t help but enjoy the warm sea breeze and the comforting slow motion of the rocking ship, thanks in part to the ship's additional magical stability. So far, she found the trip incredibly soothing and relaxing while stretched out on a deck chair beside an empty chalice that smelt of summer fruit juice. They had been travelling for over two days and the ocean had shifted from a dark and depressing shade of blue into a gorgeous tropical aqua. And in those two days both the air and her mood had warmed considerably.

Her travel pack hung upside down above a wooden pipe that ran down like a slide onto the lower deck, right next to the feet of an over enthusiastic Clemiticus who was wielding an oddly shaped weapon.

Plop.

Melly’s potato fell from her travel pack and into the pipe. The spud rolled down and rested between Clemiticuses' feet below.

Swoosh. Thwack! Clemiticus struck the potato with the odd weapon he had called a club, sending the vegetable far into the distance. He had somehow customised Derrick's Muli-tool into the odd shape to everyone's amazement and each of them had been taking turns at hitting the spud.

“Oh, nice shot!” Derrick whistled as it landed with a splash.

The potato then materialised inside Melly’s pack only to fall once more into the pipe, completely dry the rolling to a stop between Clemiticuses feet.

To Melly’s surprise, the potato didn’t explode each time they hit it. Clemiticus had said that since it was a legendary potato, its durability was extremely high.

Whatever that meant.

“My turn!” Derrick grabbed the club. The multi-tool instantly shrank to the dwarf’s size.

Smack!

The dwarf clipped the spud, and it went considerably higher, yet closer.

“I’m getting the hang of this.” Derrick smiled.

Melly closed her eyes as the sails above shifted and covered her in the warm glow of sunlight. Heat washed over her skin, and she smiled. Now this she could get used to.

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She heard footsteps on the stairs and the clinking of glasses. Mister Winston had returned.

“Your cocktail, madam,” he said as he handed over a tall glass.

Melly’s eyes were still closed when she took the drink and had a sip. A tropical concoction that was out of this world.

“Mmmm,” she said. “So good. Thanks Winston.”

She squinted her eyes open to see the wooden butler grin with pride. “You’re most welcome, madam.”

He walked up to the helm and delivered a glass to Rupert, who had been guiding the magical vessel for the past few hours.

“Cheers, matey,” he said, downing it in one. “Ahhh! That’s the stuff!”

The butler then took the empty glasses and retreated down below.

The recently appointed pirate turned to her. “Do we know what we are doing yet? How are we going to get past the Pirate Bay?”

Melly shrugged.

“No idea. Clem will think of something.”

Rupert looked concerned. “You must have a lot of faith in the man.”

“I have no faith in him.” Melly chuckled. “Only in his dumb luck stat.”

Rupert’s expression worsened. “Then how can we trust he will think of something?”

Thwack!

“Yeah boy!” Clemiticus cheered. “Beat that!”

Melly rolled her eyes. “Every time we get into trouble, Clemiticus gets us out.”

“Isn’t he also the one who gets you into trouble?”

Melly nodded. “It certainly seems that way.”

“Then…”

“Look,” Melly interrupted. “You will have a much better time if you just roll with it. I’ve tried fighting against the storm that is Clemiticus only to be swept up into a tornado of EXP and WTFs.”

Melly sighed. “Just remember the luck stat.”

Rupert crooked an eyebrow. “A what stat?”

“Luck stat,” she replied nonchalantly. “The bugger is super lucky. So, you can count that something will probably come up.”

“What the heck?” Derrick spat. “What did you just hit?”

Clemiticus laughed. “No idea.”

Melly and Rupert looked up to see the golfers pointing into the distance. A massive pale shape was moving underwater.

“It’s coming right for us!” Rupert shouted.

Melly sat up and watched the shape. Her perfect relaxation, gone.

“Can we outrun it?” She asked.

“I don’t even know what it is?” Rupert replied brusquely.

At that moment, the huge shape sped up, forcing a bulbous wave to surge before it.

“Oh, shit!” Melly swore.

“Brace for impact!” Rupert yelled.

The crew sprang into action, grabbing ropes and securing nearby crates and tools. Clemiticus and Derrick didn’t move and inch instead they chose to casualty stand still and observe the potentially deadly projectile. They even ignored the return of the potato that rolled down the pipe and bounced between them only to fall off the edge into the sea.

The shape was so fast. It was fifty feet away. Then forty. Thirty.

“Hold on to your hats!” Rupert shouted.

Twenty.

Ten.

Melly closed her eyes and hugged her chair.

But the impact never came.

She slowly opened her eyes and found the entire crew transfixed by the pale shape. Melly tentatively moved to the side of the ship for a better look. Suddenly, a giant spout of water shot up into the air and drenched the crew in the warm, salty embrace of the ocean.

“Whale!” Clemiticus cheered.

Melly’s jaw dropped. He was right. Directly beside the ship floated a humongous pale whale. It was easily as big as the ship.

“Why hello there, Mister Whale?” Clemiticus greeted the sea creature. His tone reminded Melly of how some adults talk to their dogs. “Who’s such a big boy?”

“It’s just a dumb whale, Clem. It can’t hear you.” Melly rebuked.

Clemiticus poked his tongue out at her and then turned back to his new friend.

“Don’t listen to her.” Clem continued. “Who’s a handsome whale?”

A high-pitched whale song rang out as the whale cooed. The tail end sunk further into the ocean as its head breached into the open air. Intelligent eyes watched the crew and its mouth parted.

“I am. I am.” spoke the whale in a deep, eager voice.

“Holy shit!” Derrick gasped.

“Of course!” Melly’s hands shot up. “Of course, it’s a bloody talking whale.”

Clemiticus’ eyebrows shot up as a look of jubilation swept over him.

“Hello Mr Whale, what’s your name?” Clemiticus asked.

Melly shared a look with Rupert. “See what I mean?” she whispered. “Luck stat.”

Rupert nodded clearly impressed.

Whale song echoed around them as the sea-bound creature approached the excited man.

“Dog.”

“What?” Clemiticus asked.

“My name is Dog.”

“Your name is Dog?”

The immense creature bobbed as it nodded, propelling the ship up and down with each nod.

“Well, nice to meet you, Dog. I am Clemiticus.” He bowed respectfully, then gestured towards the crew. “This is Derrick. Up there are Melly and Rupert.”

“Hello.” The whale twisted to look at the top deck. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello.” Melly and Rupert replied together with some unease.

“So where did you come from, little guy?” he asked.

The whale spouted them again with sea water.

“I have been swimming for a long time. A long time.” The whale looked sad as it spoke. “A long, long time ago, I had a friend. I was small back then. He’s the one who gave me my name.”

“Do you miss him?” asked Melly.

The whale nodded, and the ship rocked.

“Don’t worry little buddy.” Clemiticus added. “We’ll be your friends now.”

The whale's tail seemed to wag.

“Friends?” The whale spoke. “Yay. Friends.”

Rupert looked at the whale uneasily and twirled his moustache.

“Say, whale,” Derrick began. “I mean, Dog. You didn’t pass by a bunch of pirates recently?”

The whale somehow looked confused. “What’s a pirate?”

Clemiticus gestured to his getup. “They look like me.”

The whale thought for a bit, then replied. “Oh yes. I have. But they smell yucky. Your ship smells nice.”

Clemiticus gave Melly a quizzical look.

“Our ship smells nice?” He asked the whale.

Dog nodded. “It smells like happiness.”

“Um, Ok.” Rupert stammered.

“Are we carrying drugs or something?” asked Clemiticus.

Derrick silenced them with a wave.

“So, the pirates.” Derrick continued. “How far are they and how many of them are there?”

“Not far.” The whale replied. “And lots and lots.”

“And do you know where they are?”

“Yes, I do.” The Whale replied once more.

“What the bloody hell is that fascinating creature?” Nuecus shouted as he appeared on the deck.

“Dog, Nuecus. Nuecus Dog.” Clemiticus introduced the two.

“Pleasure to meet you.” Nuecus waved at Dog.

The whale smiled again.

“Say um, we better get going now.” Rupert said shakily. “If we are close to the pirates. It might get dangerous.”

“Can I come?” asked Dog.

Rupert shrugged and looked towards his fearless leader.

Clemiticus looked sad as he watched the whale’s joyous expression. “I don’t think...”

“Of course, you can!” Nuecus cheerfully interrupted.

They all stared at the crazed Thaumaturge.

“How exactly?” Asked Melly.

Nuecus clapped excitedly and rushed downstairs much faster than his age should have allowed him. Within seconds, he reappeared huffing and puffing, carrying a small fishbowl.

“Seriously?” Melly asked flatly. She gave the old man a look she usually reserved for Clemiticus. “I don’t think he’s going to fit.”

Nuecus smiled back and turned to the whale.

“In here, my boy!” He called out to the whale. “I’ve been wanting to use this thing for ages.”

Clemiticus laughed and shrugged. He had his ‘just roll with it’ expression on.

Melly was about to abandon the crazies to their stupidity and return to her comfy seat above when Nuecus bounded forwards and threw the glass bowl at the giant creature.

Melly flinched, expecting it to smash.

Then the Thaumaturge's miracle magic kicked in.

Before she could blink, the whale disappeared, then reappeared within the glass bowl.

Derrick, thinking quickly, snatched his multi-tool from Clemiticus and whipped out a long net, catching the bowl before it could sink. Then he pulled the whale on board.

Within seconds, the glass bowl sat in his hands with one miniature whale in tow.

“Good catch!” Nuecus said, then moved beside Derrick.

He tapped the bowl, and the glass vanished. In its place floated a bubble of water.

The whale wiggled its tail, and the bubble glided forwards.

“Yay!” Dog sung as it swam between his new friends. “Let me show you the way to the stinky pirates!”