It took almost all day to carve up the bear, but fortunately there were no living predators within several thousand goblin feet. Perhaps even more. All that might have been around before were gobbled up by the mountain of flesh laying in front of him.

The sun was setting by the time he’d gotten back to the cooking part of cooking, and his ideas were overflowing. He used two fires thanks to the mana saving technique of reusing an older fire via Set Temperature, one for his pot and the other for his pan.

Chef was definitely getting his cardio for the day as he ran from one to the other. Even his Stir spell proved to be valuable here since he could activate it at a distance at the cost of some mana. His plan was simple: sear steaks, smoke jerky, and stew the organs and burnt flesh. After all, overcooked as those parts may be, they were burnt by Chief grease and jelly, so the flavor could be good. Probably. Chef, with his vast experience of cooking, figured that the texture would be the biggest downside. Hence the stew.

While he was mixing the first batch, he decided to check his messages from before. His breathing became more labored as he reached the end, excitement rising rapidly.

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[8]!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[9]!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[10]!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[11]!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[12]!

Congratulations! You have killed something!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[13]!

Congratulations! You have become Chef/Baker[14]!

Congratulations! You have learned Knife!

Congratulations! You have gained health, stamina, mana, power, alacrity, gusto, sense, ability, inexplicability, hutzpah, and intestine!

Congratulations! Your Poisoncraft has increased!

Congratulations! Your Kitchen Magic has increased!

Congratulations! You have learned Summon Seasoning!

Chef was so excited in fact that he didn’t even wait to use the spell, dumping perhaps more mana than would be strictly advisable into it in hopes of making the dishes even more delicious. Despite the fact that he’d been actively using Stir and Set Temperature all the while and wasn’t close to his maximum mana in the first place.

“Ow ow ow, right. Mana.”

He had dumped so much mana into it in fact, that he had summoned perhaps too much seasoning, so much so that it formed a pile in front of him. A pile of seasoning that was primarily made up of small particles like ground up salt and pepper or even smaller flakes, all of which were disturbed by his sudden movement to grasp his aching head.

A puff of delicious seasoning went airborne right as he made his incredibly relevant declaration of pain, allowing a few particles to find their way into his windpipe. Chef began coughing violently, his health even began to drop from the event. Needless to say, he was in more pain now than before. But for some unknown reason, he didn’t feel the need to complain out loud this time.

Eventually, he grabbed his water skin and drained it, using everything left in it to wash out the particles so that he could go back to glorious breathing.

He looked down at his “stew,” which was really just a bunch of organs caked in blood, and realized that was just what he needed.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“I’ll be back, meat. Continue to simmer while I’m gone.”

He spoke lovingly to the Turducken, finished grilling the most recent steak, and headed off to the nearby lake to gather more water. The clearing was empty, unsurprising given the proximity to his bait laying. He first filled up his water skin and then, in a stroke of brilliance, used his breadbox to get a loaf of water.

Now, back to the main event.

Chef was devastated when he saw his clearing. Not that anything had been stolen this time, but both of his fires had gone down to embers. He’d only been gone a quarter hour at most!

It turned out that the fire shut off based on time or distance, and he had passed the invisible threshold. His head still hurt a little from the summoning fiasco earlier, but now it hurt for another reason as well. It was going to be a long night.

Chef started by doing the only thing he could think of: he ate a steak. The bear was not as delicious as Chief was, but he could fix that once he had more mana. He had used all of his non magical seasonings on Chief after all, but he would do what he had to do if it meant reproducing some of that delicious meat.

As he rested, he felt his mana slowly but surely return. Obviously, mana came back when it wasn’t being used, but like stamina it came back even faster when one was fully resting. Eating and drinking sped both up considerably.

Then he restarted the stew fire, added in some water from the breadbox, and got back to stirring. Really this whole affair was turning out to be way more of a pain that killing the damn thing was, improbable as that might have seemed.

Eventually, his stamina recovered enough to restart his other fire and even later he could summon up some seasoning. He had laid the meat and organs on some leaves to avoid getting them too dirty, so he got another larger leaf to hold the seasoning on. He only planned to use a pinch at a time until he understood it better, so he didn’t summon as much this time. He also held his breath whenever he was near it, just in case.

At this point things got back to normal. That is to say he finished the stew around steak number eight and still had most of a bear to go. Something in the air around him and the lights above told Chef instinctively that in another hour the sun would rise. That meant he had spent an entire day butchering only for almost an entire night to be lost to mana recovering and stewing.

But it would all be worth it. He was exhausted and tired and wanted to sleep, but above all else Chief was hungry. The bear stew would be first, and despite it filling the entire cooking pot, he managed to down the entire thing in no time at all. He burnt his mouth pretty badly at first, but then he figured out that Set Temperature actually worked on his food as well!

He chewed and drank the bear happily as he continued through the rest of the night. By the time the sun had risen, the stew was gone and he was greeted with a new message.

*Ping*

Congratulations! You have partially digested a Bear Druid, Guardian of Elluwaryn[67]. You have gained some of its stats and abilities!

Congratulations! You have gained Health, Stamina, Mana, Power, Gusto, Hutzpah, and Intestine!

Congratulations! You have gained the Endless Stomach trait!

Chef felt his breath catch in his throat. The numbers didn’t matter, not if this new trait did what he suspected. Looking into it further, he started shedding tears.

Endless Stomach: it’s bigger on the inside.

I did it. Chief, I hope you’re happy in my stomach, buddy. I’ll get you some more company soon.

Chef looked back at his pile of bleeding meat, sans the most critical organs like the heart, lungs, stomach, and brain. He had a lot of work to do, that bear wasn’t going to eat itself.

First, he started making more bone jelly in the pot. Second, he got back to grilling up steaks like never before. His stomach felt like a pit, the stew before a distant memory that needed refreshing. He ate each steak in turn as soon as it was done. He added water to the bones to help make the jelly more of a sauce, activating every spell and skill he had to speed up the process.

When he eventually finished his bone sauce, he used it as the base for his stew. He mixed it with the rest of his breadbox water after filling up his water skin again, and then poofed away as much as he could before adding in the next round of organs. He always put in some sort of bone at the same time, replenishing the broth as he consumed it. When the stock ran out, he got more from the breadbox. When that ran out, he would run back to the lake and get water to make more, endure the headache from mana exhaustion, and continue the process.

Chef did not sleep. He did not rest. He was a machine of cooking and consuming until the deed was done. By the time the sun was setting again he had eaten the whole bear excluding the jerky he was smoking on nearby embers. Those he had mostly forgotten about but what’s a little burnt meat amongst friends? A travesty really, but Chef could only do so much and could remember even less.

He set the rest up to smoke overnight, checked his stocks, and then looked proudly over his accomplishment. It took a whole bear, bones included jerky excluded, but he had filled the so-called endless stomach. Feeling satisfied for more reasons than one, Chef let out a contented sigh and relaxed.

He immediately collapsed to the ground, passing out from exhaustion.