The sconces shined their flickering light through the cathedral, illuminating the church services in progress. If they could even be called that. It was a well-known fact that consuming animals would get you messages. Killing them too, though that also applied to people if the church was to be believed.
And yet, those weren’t part of the ceremony, no. In order to hear the blessing of the great status gods themselves they instead developed skills across thousands of hours. They grinded out over a hundred levels in mostly useless classes until finally—
*Ping*
System check has been initiated.
System has been live for 87,224,697 hours, 58 minutes, and 19 seconds.
A beautiful woman in the front rows suppressed her sigh as she looked down at the all too familiar wooden pew in front of her. With blonde hair and blue eyes, striking features and slightly tan skin mostly hidden beneath her pure white religious garb, Sister Heelia made quite the impression.
To think that someone would work so hard, get two entire skill evolutions along with multiple class ones just for those two lines. If these morons spent that energy on something productive, we’d have internet already.
The praising and shouting that followed was said to be voluntary, but Heelia wasn’t about to be the only one excluded. The last thing she needed was to stand out any more than she already did. That was part of why she took up this totally ridiculous name. Going around calling yourself Alice stood out a lot more in this world. The farce of a ceremony continued as they praised a god that either didn’t exist or didn’t care, but inevitably their eyes turned to her. A hundred fanatics staring with hope and anticipation for her to contribute to this joke.
She stood, made her way to an altar made out of monster bones, and gave her speech.
“As you all know, I was sent by God to this land. It is my holy mission to smite the monsters that plague us and all humankind. I ask once more for your cooperation. It is only together, only through relentless perseverance that we can win this war against evil.”
The cheering masses were deafening as she gave her best service smile. All the while her thoughts were elsewhere.
If I knew I was this good at tricking idiots, I would have been an idol. Or sold bath water or something.
Oh well, she thought, ignoring the stares of adoration as she walked back to her seat. At least this beats serving coffee.
There were upsides to reincarnating after all.
----------------------------------------
The ceremony after the ceremony was more private and thus even more tedious. A small group for this particular church, if it could even be called that.
There was no getting around it; she joined a cult. The cult happened to be the most powerful religious organization in the entire world as far as she knew, but it was still a damn cult. They worshipped something most certainly not a god, required their members to pay, and then ostracized anyone that left. And that was only if the person was strong enough to escape in the first place.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
Level 200 and then I’m getting the fuck out of here.
Smoke filled the small room in the back of the chapel but no one coughed. The older man had brought the ‘sacred flame’ to ignite monster pieces as part of their offering to god. Then they all had to chant something in a language she didn’t understand. The whole thing was sketchy as fuck. And the worst part was that they’d be doing it all over again tomorrow. Just like every other fucking day.
She once again suppressed a sigh as she did her duty for god and the church. Eventually the service came to a close and they were allowed to leave. Or at least, normally they’d be let out at that point. But they were all stopped. It seemed that Father Neyris, the older gentleman with a salt and pepper beard and shaved head, had something to say.
“Before you all go on to continue God’s work, there has been a request from a devout follower of Argens.”
Devout follower, in Heelia’s experience here and Alice’s experience in England, usually meant someone willing to donate a lot of money. No, they called it coin here. She had to be careful, little slip ups like that were charming initially but outed her quickly. Had she been able to avoid more of them up to this point, she probably never would have gotten roped into this situation in the first place. Either way, she wasn’t strong enough to endure the nightmares of this world all on her own. At least, not yet.
“A powerful and controlling monster has taken over the peaceful farming village of Tubersville.”
Seriously? Who the fuck names a town like that? This proves it, I’m in a simulation. Or a very deep coma. That blue haired lady calling herself a god is just trolling me. This isn’t another world; I’m just pissing myself in a hospital bed.
“Our estimates put the beast at no higher than 150 total power. Reports indicate that the area is sufficient to rise no higher than 160 without several centuries. This is the perfect opportunity for our newer recruits to gain some practical experience.”
Please please please PLEASE pick me! Holy shit, get me the fuck out of here! One week, one day, I don’t care. I’ll take bum fuck Tubersville over cult city any day.
“Brother Mukael.”
“Yes, Father Neyris,” spoke a brown-haired teenager that really shouldn’t be here. Heelia knew that no one could join the Church of Argens if they were below level 50 and that unsupervised missions didn’t start until at least 100, but seriously? He was a kid still! Not like she was in her thirties, but the gap between 16 and 19 was substantial. Unbreachable. Unshakeable.
“Brother Perelos.”
Un-fucking-believable.
“As you wish, Father Neyris. The light of God will smite the monster through my hands.”
Blow hard paladin wannabe. I hate this princely holier than thou fuckwit. I swear to the simulation god of comas that if he asks for my hand one more god damn time—
“Sister Heelia.”
Yes! Yes! Thank fuck!
“It would be my honor, Father Neyris.”
Not exactly her first extermination mission, but the details told her everything she needed to know. It was two weeks away and they’d be excused from service for a week to prepare. That meant over a month of not having to do this dumb bullshit. Maybe there was a god after all.
“An honor to accompany you on a cleansing mission, Sister Heelia.” Perelos said, walking up to her after they were done. The boy seemed to view them as a perfect couple and on the outside that was probably the case. They were both blonde haired, blue eyed, good looking fanatics for the same god. No doubt about it, they would be a prize for eugenics lovers everywhere.
But Perelos was serious about it. Incredibly so. Besides, while Heelia gave up on her old life as Alice and tried to live in this new world, there were some things she just couldn’t come around to.
Seriously? Cleansing? Does he even hear himself?
The guy was an actual fanatic. He’d get this light in his eyes whenever it came to hunting monsters that just… it didn’t sit right. Were he born back on Earth instead of Asil, she had no doubts he would have made a name for himself alright. Famous for his incredible zeal and singular will which would likely land him on the 6 o’clock news before graduating high school. A legend in the making that would quickly inspire half a dozen documentaries.
The psychopath with perfect hair reached out his hand for hers, probably trying to kiss it or something. It was quite normal in this world, but that creepy smile on his face just made her want to scream.
His lips touched her hand.
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh! I swear to fuck this dude ain’t making it back!
To all the world, Heelia just smiled.