The good news about this whole ceramic making process was that it gave him plenty of time to look over his new numbers and abilities.
Name: Goblin Chef
Species[Level]: Goblin[72]
Class[Level]: Goblin/Peon[10], Goblin/Cook[10], Goblin/Chef[20], Chef/Baker[20], Sous Chef/Pastry[12]
Health: 86/86
Mana: 58/58
Stamina: 65/65
Titles:
Cannibal Monster
Skills:
Brawling III Convincing
Conniving III Running
Climbing Intuit
Kitchen Magic III Butchering II
Poisoncraft III Poison Resistance III
Baking II Goblin Spreading
Knife Meditation
Sword Master V Kitchen Heat Resistance II
Armor Proficiency II
Spellcasting:
Create Cooking Fire Set Temperature
Stir Sharpen Knife
Wash Dishes Breadbox
Knead Summon Seasoning
Rise Summon Dairy
Traits:
Gluttonous Loathsome
Garbageman
Boons & Banes:
Exquisite Taste (F)
Goblin Confidence (C)
Light Synergy (B)
Attributes:
Power 35 Hutzpah 77
Gusto 57 Intestine 72
Alacrity 37 Waagh 0
Sense 39 Ability 33
Inexplicability: 30
The bad news was that he had no clue what he was doing. Of course, that wasn’t exactly true even if he felt that way. But he spent an entire night trying to shape the clay and get it to fire correctly only for misshapen or other unhelpful things to be the result. Really, it was disheartening to the point that he ended up taking a nap halfway through.
Shockingly, he was no better at it when he woke up, having failed to gain any sudden inspiration during the night. Chef continued to try anyways, staring at his numbers and skills instead of the kiln.
Light Synergy: reduces experience required to level classes and skills that are light related.
He’d gained some new stuff lately, even more numbers going up after he had finally finished off the rest of the bone jelly. All the more for him to stare at. Aggressively. Angrily. Despite knowing that the mental screen wasn’t a tangible thing, he was apparently trying to burn a hole through it. But suddenly it paid off.
Gusto: how strong you are.
Stat descriptions! Wait, now I can figure out what they all do! I’ve waited so long for this moment I almost don’t know where to start.
Hutzpah: hutzpah.
Life is cruel, and Identify is a joke. I’m sure the other descriptions are useless too.
Alacrity: how fast you are.
Power: strength but for spells.
Intestine: efficiency and effectiveness of digestion.
Waagh: baseless faith.
Inexplicability: random chance is more in your favor.
Ability: your ability to sense and perceive the world.
Sense: common sense but not really.
Why? Why can I see what everything does except for Hutzpah? Why is Ability my senses, but Sense is nothing? What’s the point of it? What am I supposed to do with half of these?
Chef, like the wise men of old, found himself deeply dissatisfied by the answers he received. Rather than set himself up for more disappointment, he just decided to go back to making ceramics.
“Ah. It broke again.”
He just needed to start paying attention to it.
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
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Chef learned something new after a few days. Not with regards to jug making, no that was still going poorly. In fact, he had to spend almost an entire day digging up new clay because of how bad it went. He even went as far as to make a second kiln just for ceramic making so he could get back to baking. And baking was amazing because it was easy, not time intensive, and he was trying to change the subject.
No, what Chef learned was that this thing called milk spoiled. And it spoiled really fast. After sleeping in his damp milky furs, not only did his cave home smell absolutely awful but so did he. Not even Wash Dishes was powerful enough to fix the furs, the milk having embedded itself deeply into its very soul. That or he didn’t try all that hard.
When the sun set, Chef lit the funeral pyre for his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He spared no expense, using over a dozen points of mana on the flame and even starting the fire away from trees and grass.
And who said that an old goblin couldn’t learn new tricks? Not him, of course, but somebody. Presumably.
As the last of his bed turned to ash, drifting away on the wind, Chef solemnly returned to his cave and sat on his luxurious mattress of furs. Obviously, he had killed and skinned more things to replace his old things. He wasn’t stupid. But that didn’t make the loss any less meaningful.
Chef had eaten dozens of different wildlife critters over the past week including several boars. Honestly, it was more shocking that there were any left than anything else. Of course, he had saved an entire boar along with some stuffings for the townspeople as a way of saying “thanks for all your hard work and sorry about that guy I killed and ate.”
Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t quite convince himself to go deliver it. A sigh filled the cave, the sounds of sloshing liquid and wood rubbing on metal slowly lulling him to sleep as Stir did its job. He lay out the new batch of poison in the morning before cooking the boar. All that was left was to suck it up and bring his apology meal to the townspeople.
…
Any second now
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The room was in an uproar, the meeting calling damn near every villager into the same place. And while Mr. Collis had a large home, the sheer number of attendees forced some to stand outside with the door open. Unsurprisingly, most of the shouting was directed at him.
“How could you tell them to take down the notice?! You had no right, Fresk! None at all!”
“If we die the blood is on your hands, I say. Your hands!”
“We don’t even know if the kid failed yet. For all we know, he’s tracking the fucker as we speak. Let’s just wait until we hear something.”
The last one seemed to mollify the crowd slightly. Whispers filled the room, more brazen than anything that had been said all week. Their courage suddenly finding them as the townspeople began to speak of impossibilities like “victory” and “monster slaying.” They were deluded, all of them, but he had no interest in holding the bag for their resentment. This time, he’d just let them suffer from their delusions.
Suddenly, one of the guards came sprinting to the house, breathing heavily as he hunched over. He had one hand on his knee with the other outstretched behind him as he spoke through labored breaths.
“It’s… coming…”
Everyone scattered, running from the house faster than he’d ever seen them move before. Fresk followed them out in time to see a truly pathetic attempt at acting casual. No less than four of them were pretending to lean against the water well. Several people were rubbing their eyes or stretching. As if the creature didn’t know that they woke up with the sun. No, it would not be deceived by this display.
Watching the throng attempting to disperse through the closest thing this town had to a square, he saw their hopes dashed again.
“I came to feed hard workers. But clay and brick stack no higher.”
It spoke slowly but loudly enough for even those still in the house to hear. It had walked in carrying an enormous boar, cooked through and stuffed with various wild vegetables. Even from here, Fresk could practically taste it on the air, mouth watering in response. And then it made its declaration.
“You disappoint me. You get nothing.”
The creature turned around, putting its back to the entire town thanks to their impromptu meeting. It then proceeded to lift the boar over its face and slowly lower it in. The sounds of crunching filled the area, seemingly echoing off of nothing as one by one the townspeople began to wince. Nobody spoke for minutes as the entire boar disappeared down its gullet, no visible change in the being before them. A statement or a promise that it could and would eat them all.
“One week you give flour. One month you have mill.”
The creature walked up to him as sweat rolled off him in waves. It knows, somehow Fresk could feel it in his bones. Everything they’d done and tried to deceive it for nothing, their efforts were shit. Then it simply handed him the boar leg slightly wet with saliva.
“Do not disappoint again.”
It walked away, no one getting in its path. Fresk wasn’t proud of sending the kid to his death, even knowing that he couldn’t have done anything to stop him. But even still, what happened next was something he was infinitely less proud of.
He bit hungrily into the boar’s leg, saliva dribbling down his chin. It smelled impossibly good, no doubt something insidious worming its way into his head to strip his free will away. Nothing less could explain his behavior. He couldn’t stop, not until all the meat was gone and he was left gnawing on bone. The crowd seemed a bit confused after both of the displays, unsure what to do and definitely more than a little afraid. As they should be. It was about time they realized the situation they were in.
Mr. Collis came out eventually and directed the aimless people milling about.
“You heard the thing. We have to finish that mill as soon as we can. We can do it, everyone! We’re not giving up yet!”
The group sluggishly began to move until further direction got them really going. Of course, Fresk wasn’t just a spectator in this either, going back to brick laying himself. They made progress slowly but surely as the hours passed.
*Ping*
Congratulations! You have partially digested a Boar[27]. You have gained some of its stats and abilities!
I’m tired of trying to fight back against something so strong that even its scraps have power over me. I officially give up. If it wants our servitude then it can just have it.
Looking around, Fresk saw the unspoken sentiment mirrored in dozens of faces around him.