Shotwell came back from his talk with the goblin looking more embarrassed than any of them had ever seen a grown man.

“So,” one of the guards on the wall started diplomatically. “You run that scary monster off yet?”

A chorus of barely restrained laughter was as good a response as any, causing the bastard to just look away red faced.

“Not yet…”

The laughter slowed down as every one of them began to look more closely at their companion. They were guards, and each of them had gotten this job because they demonstrated a remarkable eye for detail and an untiring mental state. Those unable to pick out something this obvious had no business manning the western gate.

“Are you chewing something?”

This time Shotwell froze before slowly turning even further away from everyone with all the casual grace of a cornered rat.

“You’re eating one of its pies, aren’t you?”

More silence followed as everyone looked at the idiot with strained smiles of their faces. It was one thing when they suspected the monster wouldn’t do anything, but another entirely to eat food it had prepared. There was no telling what could have been in there, what diseases or poisons or horrible taboos were wrapped up in those pies.

“No…”

All the men relaxed slightly before Nerick, his coworker on the ground, squinted at him even more closely.

“Then what smells so good?”

Silence. The cornered rat was sweating now, the thin sheen of a working man replaced with massive beads actively rolling off his face.

“I didn’t get enough to share.”

They couldn’t believe their eyes, none of them could. After all that this malcontent had said, here he was eating the creature’s food? How could they stand this?

The one subjected to the brunt of his stupidity only had one answer.

“Fuck it. That smells delicious. I’m getting some too.”

The yells of his companions wouldn’t stop him anymore. Nerick’s wife was the worst cook he’d ever met, and those pies had tempted him for too long. If he was going to die, he’d prefer to at least be well fed.

While he was a cut above most city guards, that didn’t extend to his pay. It was an open secret that moving talented guards to the gate was a way of decreasing discontent without increasing pay. Stingy fucks.

That left Nerick of Berics with limited options for fixing his eternal dilemma of “all the food I eat is shit.” Being a guard wasn’t something you could do day in and day out without drinking in between. It was impossible, and he couldn’t be convinced otherwise. That meant that not enough coin was ever left over for visiting any of the better restaurants.

So yeah, fuck it. Whatever was in those pies couldn’t be worse than what his wife made.

“A pie is two small rounds, awkward standing man.”

How long had he been just standing here? He’d been too lost in thought to notice. Nerick reached into his coin purse, pulled out two small copper coins, and handed them to the hooded goblin.

“Two small copper coins, goblin. Give me one without man meat, if you would.”

The small creature chortled at that while handing over a golden masterpiece. If this was what their kind was capable of, then suddenly Nerick felt bad for killing so many of them back in his youth.

“I wouldn’t waste man meat on you, awkward man. These are rabbit pies.”

So why did Nerick feel so uncomfortable around the creature? The others didn’t seem to have that problem. Well not the guards, of course, but the merchants and whoever that wandered by never seemed bothered by its presence. Was it because he saw through the pitiful disguise? Or was it something more sinister?

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“Seriously, stop standing around so awkwardly. Just take the thing and eat it.”

He did it again. How embarrassing. Nerick remained stone faced nonetheless, grabbed the pie, and began walking back to his post while taking a bite.

He stopped and stood there for a full minute, chewing and savoring that one bite. There was no doubt that he was once again being looked at like a crazy person, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he’d never had anything nearly this good in his entire life and it cost him two small copper coins.

“I’d like another one,” he said, turning around. “Boar if you have it.”

The goblin looked at him from under its hood for a while, taking his measure. It should have been intimidating considering its unknown level, but Nerick was too hungry to think about those things.

“Three small for boar.”

“Done.”

“Fuck, I probably could have charged more…”

The goblin grumbled under its breath. It had absolutely no idea. Food that good should probably be worth small silver coins, not copper. Everyone knew that but the goblin, which was why it had become so popular so quickly.

He walked back to his post a few minutes later, and this time he successfully made the entire journey. His coworkers looked at him like a madman for a while, silently taking stock of him. Filled up with delicious food, Nerick just slouched against the wall. He’d never noticed how peaceful this post could be, looking out over the road and distant forest.

“You ate two of its pies.”

The accusation came from a man who’d recently finished a meal also purchased from the monster.

“I did.”

Silence filled the air for a few moments. Well, not really. They were at the gate for the largest city within a week of here, so saying it was silent was a bit of an overstatement. In fact, most of their conversations had to be borderline shouted depending on the time of day.

“How do you feel?”

This time he was asked an actual question. It wasn’t like Nerick didn’t understand what he was being asked or why. He’d eaten food made by a monster. Who knew what consequences that could have?

“Pleasantly full.”

But so far, the worst one was that he couldn’t fit another one of those pies.

“Huh.”

----------------------------------------

The next day he was asked the same question both before and after he bought some more pies. The day after that was the same. The fourth day, when he ate with the goblin for once, he received a surprise.

*Ping*

Congratulations! You have partially digested a Boar[29]! You have gained some of its stats and abilities.

Congratulations! You have gained health!

He was so shocked that he stopped chewing. He looked over at the goblin who was baking another pie while eating one itself. After a few days it had entirely given up on disguising itself unless strangers were approaching. The fact that it could see them coming before he could was no more surprising than it was exciting.

No one liked being upstaged by a goblin, especially at their own job.

“You’re really just a chef.”

Nerick could hardly believe it. The best restaurants in the city bragged about employing people with pure chef classes, but they were still below level fifty even at the most prestigious restaurant around. He’d never even heard of a level one hundred chef.

“Of course I am. Didn’t I tell the sweaty angry one that days ago?”

It had, but they didn’t believe it. It was a rather well-known strategy for assassins and spies to use magic, items, or even to take a class specifically to deceive people with Identify. It wasn’t until that skill evolved that it showed someone’s entire class history, and Berics wasn’t nearly large or prestigious enough to afford to hire guards like that. No one was.

“So, you’re here to…”

He trailed off while looking at the goblin. It wasn’t the most hideous monstrosity he’d ever seen; in fact, it could be called cute by some. What with its round belly and big ears, there was no doubt that his wife would fawn over it. Especially considering that it was child sized.

“I wanted to cook and work with other cooks. You know, discover new recipes and make new ingredients. But you won’t let me into the city,” it said, pouting.

If this creature was what it claimed to be, then that made it a talent that kings would go to war over. A high-level cook was incredibly valuable, especially one that had no desires beyond cooking. And while that last part was unlikely, there was no denying it’s skill. It wasn’t just the flavor, which easily beat out anything he’d had before, but it was also the quality of the meal provided.

He hadn’t gotten stat increases from eating for months. And while it was possible that he had just been overdue one, this wasn’t the first attribute improvement he’d gotten from the creature’s cooking. Once was a fluke, twice was worth some investigation. But he was well beyond that now. After all, it wasn’t the stat point that surprised Nerick.

It was the fact that he’d already gotten a point in health just two days ago.

“If I got you into the city and helped you get a proper job in your trade, what do you think you’d do for me?”

The goblin looked at him for a moment before smiling. The cute creature had disappeared as soon as those sharp yellow teeth came out from hiding.

“I am a goblin with many skills, awkward human. If you assist me, then I shall repay you in kind. Whether it be food to eat or shiny coins I don’t need.”

Despite himself, he found himself reaching out to shake hands with the monster.

“My name’s Nerick. Nerick Summers.”

The goblin’s smile grew bigger as they shook hands.

“Goblin Chef. I look forward to our partnership.”