Chef decided to ignore his messages from now on. He was fairly certain that the mental damage he’d taken so far today exceeded all the harm that had ever been dealt him his entire life. No, he was sure of it. So instead of taking it all in piecemeal, he decided to just pull up his stats.
Name: Goblin Chef
Species[Level]: Goblin[120]
Class[Level]: Goblin/Peon[10], Goblin/Cook[10], Goblin/Chef[20], Chef/Baker[20], Sous Chef/Pastry[30], Head Chef/Pastry[30]
Health: 220/220
Mana: 162/162
Stamina: 207/207
Titles:
Cannibal Monster
Mass Murderer Demon
Skills:
Conniving V Convincing III
Identify II Lightning Reflexes II
Kitchen Magic V Butchering III
Poison Mastery III Armor Proficiency III
Baking II Goblin Spreading II
Pain Resistance Meditation IV
Kitchen Heat Resistance III
Throwing II Devour
Blade Mastery II Acute Senses
Magic Sense II Enhanced Physique
Reinforce Enhanced Movement
Empowered Strike Craftsman V
Spellcasting:
Create Cooking Fire Set Temperature
Stir Sharpen Knife
Wash Dishes Breadbox
Knead Summon Flavoring
Rise Summon Dairy
Summon Egg Pantry
Grinding Ferment
Purée
Traits:
Gluttonous Loathsome
Garbageman Hardened Skin
Reincarnator
Boons & Banes:
Exquisite Taste (F)
Goblin Confidence (C)
Light Synergy (B)
Spear Prodigy (B)
Attributes:
Power 90 Hutzpah 125
Gusto 120 Intestine 120
Alacrity 120 Waagh 0
Sense 111 Ability 112
Inexplicability: 86
I feel like skipping my messages might have been a mistake after all.
Confused and a little nervous, Chef decided to look over the last few messages he got. The surprises didn’t stop.
Congratulations! You have learned Divine Magic!
Warning! Divine Magic conflicts with existing trait Heathen. Divine Magic has priority. Overwriting.
!Error! Could not parse variable accursed_fiend.
!Error!
Overwriting data…
…
Congratulations! Your Heathen has evolved into Demon!
Congratulations! You have gained access to additional Class Evolutions!
Congratulations! You have gained health, stamina, mana, power, alacrity, gusto, sense, ability, inexplicability, hutzpah, intestine, and Waagh!
!Error!
Waagh cannot be gained due to the Demon state. Acquired Waagh is consumed by the Demon state.
Demon state empowered. Distributing power…
…
Congratulations! You have gained health, stamina, mana, power, alacrity, gusto, sense, ability, inexplicability, hutzpah, and intestine!
…
This hadn’t happened to him before, but he’d also never killed three enemies over sixty levels higher than him at the same time. Overall, Chef had found himself in rather unusual circumstances which, in and of itself, was a fairly familiar situation for him.
Unlikely or downright impossible things seemed to happen regularly whenever he was involved. But that didn’t matter right now. Neither did the rest of the messages which he was pointedly ignoring despite how that had so recently bit him on the ass. No, because Chef had realized something when looking at his status; something he didn’t initially believe.
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He was ready for class evolution. Again.
He once again had to skim through a series of class options, and this one actually caused him to grow progressively more frightened as the list went on. After all, what kind of self-respecting goblin would choose Leader of Men as their class?
The mere thought of it made him shudder.
Finally, he found what he was looking for. The holy grail of all who followed his path.
Executive Chef: the highest level of chef possible. Peerless in their chosen field.
He didn’t let the system description lie to him. Chef knew that skills and levels were less important that recipes and practical experience. This was just one more step in his culinary journey.
He made his choice easily.
*Ping*
Congratulations! You have become Executive Chef/Baker[1]!
…
Congratulations! You have become Executive Chef/Baker[7]!
Congratulations! You have learned Summon Unprocessed Material!
Congratulations! Your Summon Unprocessed Material has combined with Summon Dairy, Summon Egg, and Summon Flavoring!
Congratulations! Your Summon Flavoring has evolved into Summon Ingredient!
Congratulations! Your Pantry has evolved into Greater Pantry!
Wait. Wait! Does this mean?!
Chef immediately made use of his new spell, focusing as tightly as he could, envisioning exactly what he wanted. His mana dropped massively as a disproportionate amount went into creating a small pile of white powder in his hands.
For a moment he just stood there, staring at his hands.
“Aaaahhhh hahaha! Ha! HA! FUCK!”
Chef didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
After all this time and effort, what? It just gets handed to me? What was it all for?
Experimenting with the spell revealed that summoning wheat was tremendously easier than the finished product. Why, even the kernels by themselves were simple enough to summon. Sure they costed more than the wheat, but it was still maddeningly cheap.
The same principal extended even further. He could summon the curds and whey directly for cheese production. He could even summon cheese outright, though a tiny bit took a staggering sixty five mana per cast. That wasn’t worth it.
This is bullshit! You mean I could have just leveled up a bunch instead of working with the humans for months?!
Chef was shockingly unhappy about his recent acquisition. Truthfully, he’d have struggled to envision ingredients that he’d never seen before, even now, but that didn’t matter at this precise moment. No, he was far too pissed to be so reasonable.
An angry goblin raced down his hill, charged at a tree, and began striking it while screaming. The creaking and groaning of wood filled the clearing along with expletives in two different languages. Truthfully, it was all quite obscene.
By the time he stopped, his knuckles were barely bloodied and the tree had long since fallen as splinters covered the ground. Some time had passed, but the exact amount was a mystery. That was happening to him a lot lately. Looking around, Chef decided to take his anger out in a more constructive manner.
And so, he sat there at the bottom of the hill, stick in hand, poking a bloated animal corpse.
“Hey. Wanna see a magic trick?”
The inflated cadaver did not respond this time. The coward. It had no problems with insulting him back when he was drugged, but now it’s afraid of him, huh? The audacity of some corpses…
Pointing at his victim, Chef used one of his new spells on it.
“Purée.”
The corpse turned to a red paste as quickly as the mana left his body, which was faster than a speeding clay grenade or crazy spear lady. That was all it did. Digging through the paste with his stick, Chef discovered the beauty of the spell.
“It even did the bones!”
He immediately got excited. To this day, the most tedious and unfun part of cooking was the boiling down of bones for stock. If instead he could just liquify them from the get go, he’d have less than half as much work moving forward!
If this one spell was that good what about his others? He got to work immediately.
Pantry, or Great Pantry, summoned a glowing door in the middle of the air in front of him. Opening that door revealed, well, an empty pantry.
To be fair, it was quite spacious. Easily large enough to fit many goblins or several humans.
That would have been handy just a couple days ago but whatever.
For now, he put one of the fresher boar corpses inside before closing the door, ending the spell. It wasn’t as convenient as Breadbox which let him moves things inside and out quickly and with a simple touch, but it would come in handy if he ended up moving. Nothing was really keeping him here any longer after all.
Chef shook his head, emptying it of dark thoughts. He had more stuff to test! Like grinding! No time for sad things; he had to grind!
He summoned some wheat kernels and then used magic to change reality. Well, change reality beyond the summoning of matter out of nothing.
“Grind.”
The kernels were turned to dust in his hands, all chaff lost forever to the powerful force. Instead, he now held a fistful of flour.
“It’s so easy. What was the point of learning to do things the hard way?”
There was no one around to answer his questions. At least, not with the animal corpses continuing to be such poor company.
With a sigh, Chef made his way back towards the village.
“I’ll put the flour and utensils in my pantry. Along with other ingredients and things. Then I’ll take it back here and never go there again. Yep.”
He had a plan and was determined to stick to it. After all, nothing in this world could stand up to a confident goblin. Yes, absolutely nothing at all.