The sun was setting by the time they finished up for the day, and Chef was ready to be done with humans for a while. More than ready, honestly.

The fuckers are exhausting. Always trying to figure out their motives or what they really mean or what their plans are. Chef was so tired by the end of it that, walking out the door with a jug of oil in hand, he almost forgot to ask for the other cooking things he needed.

So, as he walked with the handsome man, since it turned out that they were in fact men and the two boobed ones were actually women, he put forth his request again.

“Handsome man. Big pot. Pan. Utensils. Sack. Yes?”

The man sighed as he once again got redder, looking away from the goblin.

“L-let me go and, uh, just wait by the town entrance. How is that?”

Chef just looked up at the stuttering man before slowly nodding. Humans sure were weird at times.

Who was he kidding, humans were always weird.

Chef wandered over to the entrance he walked through hours ago as he thought about the oily floured meat he had earlier. It was really quite good, so why did the handsome man look so taken aback earlier? Is it possible that this father of Mirri is such an advanced cook that he is creating meals unlike any before?

This wasn’t going to be easy. Chef continued to muse to himself as the nearby guards fidgeted nervously. He was starting to better understand what precisely his effect on others was as well as what their physical actions said about their mental states. Generally, him being nearby would unsettle the weak and amuse the strong like Mirri and the father.

Speaking of weak, Fresk was coming back now along with wrinkles and both were holding some things. Chef was looking forward to impressing these people. Well not these two specifically, but the more general term that included Mirri and the father. He’d need tools like these to do what must be done; otherwise, they would catch onto him soon and run him out forever.

Chef could no longer afford to truly anger the town, not with a cook of that level within. No wait, that wasn’t right.

“We have brought what you asked for, but please remember. We cannot speed up mill construction until after we get some help with crops.”

Chef stared hard at the handsome man, not remembering what he was talking about at all. More redness followed by a sighing wrinkled man, or wrinkleman, was as good a response as any.

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“We cannot start making flour without help, sir Chef. There isn’t enough manpower in this village to focus on construction without starving. If you help on that front, we will focus on building.”

Chef finally understood. They wanted to be fed by him. Like babies! Suddenly it all made more sense. A young and unbloodied goblin and most of these humans had a lot in common after all. Most needed to be brought their own food or they’d end up eating each other, they were incredibly stupid, and they would become frightened at the slightest thing. He once saw a baby goblin run from a rat. Stupid baby goblin, rats are food.

“You give these and I bring food.”

Chef grabbed the cauldron out of the handsome man’s hands and was surprised by how light it was, especially after he looked inside and saw that it had other things in it. He held it towards the wrinkleman who in turn put the pan and sack he was holding into the cauldron as well. Still light. Were they trying to trick him with shoddy materials? Chef wouldn’t know yet, but if it turned out that they did, he’d return quite angry.

If the baby misbehaves, it doesn’t get fed. Maybe humans don’t do things that way? Or maybe they’d stopped being afraid of him. Either way, he’d been wrong earlier. It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford to upset the town, it was just that he couldn’t afford two people in the town. But these two and their ilk? He could be as rude or demanding as he needed to be.

“Goodbye.”

He just didn’t need to be right now. Yea, that was all.

Having done what he set out to do and having received what he wanted, Chef made his way back to the creek. As he followed it back towards his cooking clearing, he thought the area looked familiar. He walked further into the woods, hoping to find his old cooking pot and bag but instead just found an unrelated and burnt clearing. Oh well.

Heading back to the creek and pushing further along he got the same feeling again. After doing this four times and seeing three burnt patches of forest that had nothing to do with him, he eventually found his old stuff. Really it was just a bag, a big spoon, a pot, and a pan, but he only had one of each. Now he had two!

One day, if he was lucky, he’d get to have three. A goblin could dream.

He piled everything into the cauldron again and headed back to the creek.

Time to go back to my camp. Oh hey, this looks familiar.

It took Chef three more tries before he found the right clearing.

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Chef spent all night sleeping in a tree and most of the following day foraging and making traps. Then he slept another night and did it all over again. He placed the traps as he went out for ingredients, but even after two full days, the sack was more empty than full.

Mostly, Chef was looking for nuts. If he saw a wild vegetable or something then he would of course grab it, but he really wanted to make more oil. The jug he had been given wouldn’t last very long and, frankly, Chef was tired of eating dry steak.

But that also meant that he needed more meat. After the first night back, he was already ravenous and it wasn’t getting better. Apparently, a giant bear was exactly enough food for one Chef… for one day. And while he loved to eat, Chef couldn’t deny that this endless stomach combined with his powerful intestines were making eating food more of a chore than anything.

So, after two days of trying to forage and trap enough food to satisfy himself, he gave up. Gathering up more berries, mushrooms, and of course nuts, he started making more poisonous goop. This time with flair! He used the magical powers of oil, salt, and other flavorings to make the most delicious smelling food he’d ever made. And all the while he wished it to drive whatever ate it absolutely nuts. It would work, he knew it would.

After all, this batch was mostly nuts already.