Chef hummed to himself as he pulled another dish out of the oven. Not literally, of course, since he had no plates or silverware to speak of. Regardless, he was making something that at least he considered music while holding his latest concoction. The last of the flour had been used a long time ago and the bone jelly production began to compensate. Between the jelly, oil, and plentiful meat available to him, he’d had a veritable smorgasbord of food. A feast to rival kings.

Of course, most of it came down to pan fried or stuffed meat, but Chef was beginning to get a hang of this baking thing. The metal he got from the shiny stick man had allowed him to bake twice as much at a time as well. That combined with his remote stirring potential allowed him to make almost as much food as he could eat.

Almost. Of course, he was just running away from the problem at hand. He had gained a couple new classes in the list of those available, but somehow that didn’t excite him. No, it actually made him more uncomfortable than anything. So instead he just focused on the more important task at hand. After all, his sitting on furs and eating was a critical task that had to be done. And if he didn’t do it, who would? Yep, couldn’t waste time on things like thinking when there was more food to eat.

*Ping*

Congratulations! You have digested an entire Swordsman/Light[97]! You have gained some of its stats and abilities.

Congratulations! You have gained health, stamina, mana, power, alacrity, gusto, sense, ability, inexplicability, hutzpah, and intestine!

Congratulations! You have learned Sword Mastery!

Congratulations! You have learned Intuit!

Congratulations! Your Intuit has combined with Intuit!

Congratulations! Your Intuit has evolved into Identify!

Congratulations! You have learned Armor Proficiency!

Congratulations! You have assimilated a Boon and/or Bane!

Congratulations! You have gained access to additional Class Evolutions!

Damn! Now he didn’t have an excuse anymore!

“Fuck!”

A string of expletives followed which would have made his people proud if they weren’t so busy in his stomach. But who knew, maybe they were still proud all the way down there? Chef doubted it though.

Sighing, he decided to give up on running away. His new title made him a bit wary of the whole approaching humans thing. Especially if his breath stank of human flesh. No, that seemed like a pretty bad idea even to him. At least, not without becoming even stronger.

Oh well, time to look at that shit again.

Chef/Poison

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

…

Chef/Pastry

Sous Chef/Baker

Sous Chef/Pastry

Artificer/Abomination

Swordsman/Apprentice

Swordsman/Adept

Swordsman/Expert

Swordsman/Light

One of those still felt a little different from the rest. The harder he thought about it, the more sure of that he became until suddenly—

Artificer: powerful crafter of the magical variety.

Abomination: that which should not exist but does. Please don’t.

Huh. That was new. He wondered if that had anything to do with his newly evolved Identify skill. Excitedly he checked the others.

Chef: greater cook than even cooks.

Sous chef: a chef but better.

Baker: one who makes bread.

Pastry: sweets and other confectionaries.

Chef felt his heart skip a beat. This was it. This was the culmination of all his hard work finally paying off in a huge way. His first ever bread had been incredible, one of the most delicious things he ever had. And if the timing of getting the Sous Chef/Pastry variant was to be believed, then the delicious fried thing he stuffed the heart into was a pastry as well. Meaning that picking that class would allow him to make even more things like that. Make them even better next time, too!

Idly, Chef wondered why every choice in life couldn’t be this easy. Then he fell asleep on his furs, having stayed up two days in a row to avoid choosing.

He awoke to a series of pings that wouldn’t leave him alone and realized that the last thing he did the day before was pick his class evolution. Of course, a full day had passed since then, but now was the time to discover his newfound powers!

Congratulations! You have become Sous Chef/Pastry[1]!

…

Congratulations! You have become Sous Chef/Pastry[12]!

Congratulations! Your Kitchen Magic has increased!

Congratulations! You have learned Sweeten!

Congratulations! Your Sweeten has combined with Summon Flavoring!

Congratulations! You have learned Summon Dairy!

Congratulations! You have killed something!

…

Congratulations! You have killed something!

So, apparently more things wandered in for some poison while he was asleep. A whole lot if the number of notifications was any indication. No additional levels though, which combined with his only one new spell left him less than thrilled. In an attempt to improve his mood, Chef used his new spell, summoning half a pitcher’s worth of white liquid into his hands and then promptly onto his nice furs.

He sat there, looking at the result and feeling the drain on his mana as he contemplated many things. He wondered why life was so unfair along with other more immediately pertinent questions like ‘the fuck is this white shit?’

Summon dairy: summons dairy products. Like milk.

Presumably he had summoned this milk thing, whatever that was. Regardless of what it was called, the resulting conclusion was inevitable considering that the spell created a liquid.

“I need to make some jugs.”

He sighed, flashbacks to his kiln teacher making him angrier than wetting the bed did.

This is going to be a long day.

Of course, Chef was right about some things and wrong about others. While a jug would be great for holding liquids, he wasn’t exactly the most observant goblin. Not out of inability, no, but out of simple disinterest. It was already sunset.