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WORK HEADER
Rating:
* Mature
Archive Warning:
* No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
* M/M
Fandom:
* Original Work
Relationship:
* Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Additional Tags:
* 1970s
* Friends to Lovers
* Slow Burn
* Bi-Curiosity
* Angst with a Happy Ending
* 1980s
* Rock Band
* 1990s
* Music
* Bi-awakening
* Light Dom/sub
Language: English Collections: Unofficial FFA Unanon Collection Stats: Published: 2024-04-14 Completed: 2024-07-25 Words: 103,703 Chapters: 30/30 Comments: 2 Kudos: 5 Bookmarks: 3 Hits: 323
EL & EM
MESA
CHAPTER MANAGEMENT
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CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER TEXT
PART IV
Emmett got the call in London. He'd been hired for a recording session with a big-name singer in the UK shortly after the tour ended. He left Angela and Mary-Ann at home and flew over a couple of days later, so he was alone in his hotel room when the phone rang.
“Hey, Em,” Luke said, his voice tired and strained.
Emmett knew something was up immediately. “Hi,” he said quietly, and waited.
“I wanted to let you know first. It's over, brother. I've decided not to work with the band anymore.”
“What?” Emmett stared dumbly at the phone. “What – what band?”
“You guys. The B-Sides.” Luke stopped, as though he knew Emmett would need a moment to take this in.
“Like – ever?”
“Indefinitely.” Luke went on briskly, like he was reading from a script. “If you check your contract, you'll see there’s a clause that allows for this. You'll get your final statement from the last tour in a couple days, and there's gonna be a little bonus with the payments. I'm telling the rest of the guys right after I finish with you…”
“Luke – ”
“…And Jerry'll put out a public statement for everyone. Let him know if you want to see it in advance.”
“Luke…” Emmett said again, faintly, and couldn't manage anything else.
There was a short pause, and then a tiny hitch in Luke's voice. “I'm sorry, Em. I love you.”
Before Emmett could recover, Luke hung up, and Emmett was left staring blindly at the receiver. He dropped the phone and stood motionless for several minutes, then reached out and started to dial Luke's number. This couldn't be real; surely he just needed to speak to Luke again. But he stopped himself, and sat down heavily on the bed instead.
After what might have been an hour of sitting there, turning things over in his mind, Emmett picked the phone back up and called Gordie.
“Yeah, I got the same news,” Gordon said, half bitter, half resigned. “I guess we all knew that gravy train wouldn’t last for ever.” He caught himself abruptly, and went on in a different tone. “But I'm sorry, man. I know you two were tight.”
Emmett understood it was real then. As he recovered from his initial shock and disbelief, he thought he really shouldn't have been so surprised. Hadn't he always predicted something like this? And hadn't Luke said they couldn't go on as they were? In a way, this was the best possible outcome – Luke still had his public image intact, and Emmett would have no trouble finding other work. He just hadn't expected it to happen quite this way.
No one seemed to know anything at the recording session in London the next day, but by the time Emmett stepped off the plane in Philadelphia a few days later, Jerry's press release had obviously done its work. The demise of the B-Sides was public knowledge.
Back at their apartment, Angela was sympathetic and supportive. The phone rang constantly, and Emmett spent the next few days taking calls from Clarissa and the boys, his parents, his siblings, his employees, friends, relatives, associates – all wanting to know what had happened, what was going to happen, what it meant for him and for them. Between the other conversations, Emmett spoke to his manager, Kaye, often. He knew fame would only last a short while once he was out of the public eye; he needed to move quickly to parlay his current status into more work before it was too late. Kaye lined up a few guest spots for him in other bands and some session work over the next few weeks, and started spreading the word that Emmett might be open to other gigs. In the meantime, Emmett regretfully told Diane he'd have to let her go, at least for now, and had a few similar conversations with other employees and associates as well.
A couple of days later Kaye called again, and this time her voice sounded strangely taut, as though she were holding herself in. “Have you checked out this statement yet?” she asked.
“What, from the last tour? No, I haven't seen it – why?”
“Well, they added something extra – they're calling it an exit bonus.”
“Oh yeah, Luke mentioned something about that.” Emmett leaned forward in his chair, remembering that brief conversation and then trying to forget it again. “Why, how much is it?”
“It's a million dollars.”
For a moment Emmett couldn't speak; his mouth opened but no words came out. “What?” he said finally.
“One mill. You didn't know?”
“No. I had no – are you sure that's just the bonus, not some – some extra payment from the tour?”
“No, Em, it's right there on the statement, Exit Bonus. There's nothing in the contract about this, it's just – goodwill or something.”
A sudden fear gripped Emmett. He let Kaye go and called Gordon immediately – then Leo, then Pete. It wasn't till he'd spoken to all three of them that he could breathe again. They'd all received exactly the same amount; he hadn't been given some kind of special treatment.
Finally, Emmett sat back with a drink and thought things through. That extra money would go a long way to take the heat off him in the short term; he'd be able to keep up with his expenses while he figured out his next steps. With the immediate financial pressure lifted, he could afford to let his mind wander. The bonus was a very generous gesture – even from someone who'd taken away the livelihood of five people in the blink of an eye. Five people? That was only the band. What about Ray and Mark and José, Janie and Diane, the roadie crew and security and…It was amazing, really, how much Luke had been responsible for. He'd probably given payouts to all of them. He must have agonized over this.
Emmett looked at the phone. He hadn't made any attempt to call Luke since he got the news. After all, he understood what Luke was doing and why, and he hadn't wanted to interfere or make it any more difficult than it must already be, for everyone. But surely he could still talk to his friend. Didn't he at least owe Luke a thanks for the bonus? He picked up the phone and dialled Luke's number.
It was out of service.
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Had he dialled wrong? He called again, the main line at the farmhouse where they'd lived together so comfortably just last year. But no, that number was definitely out of service.
Emmett stared at the phone, perplexed. Of course, he could hunt Luke down if he needed to. But…what was going on?
It was a week or so before he found out. Jerry put out another public statement, and Emmett read it in the paper like everyone else. Luke had sold the Pennsylvania property, married Laura, and moved to Seattle.
***
Emmett told himself he'd always known his time with Luke was limited, that it had an end date, it couldn't last forever. In some ways, that decade of joy had just been a respite from the mundane reality of life, which he understood required sacrifice and compromise and obligation. He'd been there before, and now he was here again.
It took some time, maybe a year or so, but eventually he was able to wake up each morning without an aching reminder that the idyll was over and real life had resumed. In fact, he couldn't really complain – his new life was a big improvement over the one he'd given up so long ago, the one with the 9-to-5 job, the constant scramble to support a family, and the struggle to fit music in at all.
With the financial cushion of that exit bonus, Emmett had been able to take his time and slowly rebuild a life that gave him satisfaction, even enjoyment. At first, he'd worked sporadically, playing with a few different bands, accepting some session gigs, and collaborating with a handful of musicians he admired. Just around the time he thought he should find something steadier, he'd heard that Forge – the studio where he'd worked on so many albums with Luke – was up for sale. After careful discussion with his accountant, Emmett invested his bonus funds, along with his own small savings, into buying it.
The property included not just the studio but a bit of land and a house next door – across the field where he'd once pitched Clarissa's tent – so he couldn't afford to buy it outright, but with a reasonable mortgage and regular income, it would be all his in a few years. And in the meantime, he had a place to live and a built-in job.
Emmett had always liked the production side of recording; he'd done a lot of it on Luke's records and been pretty successful. Now he had the opportunity to hone his skills, first alongside the in-house engineer and other producers, and then on his own. Before long, the bands and artists that booked his studio were hiring him to produce their albums, and record companies sent acts over specifically to work with him. Emmett invested carefully into the studio to ensure it remained state-of-the-art, and over time he and Forge, collectively, grew to be one of the most respected production services in the industry.
It was a good living. Emmett liked the job and enjoyed working with so many other musicians. After a while he put together a small band of his own – a casual jazz and soul ensemble called the Mountain Tops that played together for fun and picked up a few gigs locally or in nearby towns. The band was nothing serious, but it was his own – for the first time he was the leader, not a journeyman musician.
In fact, between Forge and the Mountain Tops, Emmett was now his own boss for the first time in his life. Managing his new empires, he often found himself remembering lessons he'd learned from Luke and Jerry in those early days with the band, or even later when Luke would talk about his daily business dealings. He missed life with the B-Sides, but being in control of his own destiny was a novel and exciting experience.
Angela and Mary-Ann moved with him into the house beside Forge. It was bigger than their previous apartment, with an extra room for the boys when they visited, and green grass outside where Mary-Ann could run around once she started walking. They had to hire a day-time nanny since Emmett and Angela both worked outside the home, but Emmett found life as a father very different this time around.
When Robbie and Walt were babies, he'd been working long hours and Clarissa had done most of the child-raising. With Mary-Ann, Angela picked up work again as soon as she could, and it often kept her away from home for long hours, while Emmett was usually right next door at the studio. Then, when Angela's career took off and she started accepting positions out of town, Emmett often became the sole parent as soon as the nanny went home in the afternoon. He had to learn a whole new set of skills, and sometimes he wondered if he was too old for the job, but when he thought back on everything he'd missed as Walt and Robbie were growing up – while he'd been at work or out on tour – he wouldn't have traded this life with his lively, adventurous daughter for anything.
His parents came out to visit when they could, and were very taken with his beautiful wife and daughter, his new home and business. His mama told him approvingly that he did right by quitting the vagabond musician's life and settling down at home with his lovely family. But whenever she asked about “that nice boy Luke,” she would pat Emmett's hand and sigh with what seemed to be a kind of forlorn sympathy.
Of course, Luke was never far from Emmett's mind. At night he’d lie awake in bed, thinking about the way things had turned out. It was funny to remember everything he'd done – everything he'd refused to do – to protect Luke's career and the band…when in the end they both seemed to have been lost anyway. He wouldn't have the life and business he had now if they'd gone public the way Luke wanted to – no one would be working with him now. But maybe he’d still have Luke.
It was hard not to keep re-thinking the past. Emmett always returned in his mind to that day when Luke proposed giving up everything to be together. He knew he'd let Luke down then, that Luke saw him as lacking faith. And it was true – he didn't have Luke's total conviction that he could do anything, get whatever he wanted in the world. Somehow, he'd been unable to explain to Luke why things seemed so different to him.
The band was gone either way. As for Luke's career, that remained to be seen. He'd released one solo album, with decent reviews and respectable sales, and was said to be working on another, way out there on the west coast. His new music was quieter, more thoughtful and introspective, than what he’d made with the B-Sides. He didn't tour extensively and hadn't formed a new band, but apparently put together a small group of musicians for occasional public appearances. Gordon had been invited to work on the second album; Luke flew him out to Seattle for a couple of days. Luke seemed good, Gordie said afterward; being a father seemed to suit him.
Emmett always watched when Luke was on TV. He thought Luke looked a little awkward these days – a tiny bit less sure of himself, sort of like he was in those early days when Emmett first met him, but without the youthful brashness and energy. His wardrobe had evolved into an odd mix of east and west coast styles; he started to lose his distinctive Philly accent and adopt a more standard, slightly erudite voice in interviews and talks. Emmett thought Luke hadn't quite decided what he wanted to be in his new life yet.
The hardest part to accept was not being in charge of Luke's protection and well-being anymore – knowing that someone else had that job. Did Luke love Laura now, the way he used to love Emmett? Had he moved on, had his affections fully transferred? Surely Laura loved Luke as much as he did. And unlike Emmett, she could give Luke all the things he most wanted – a family, kids, a home, a life in the open.
In 1988, when Mary-Ann was three, Angela accepted a regular role as a backup dancer with an act based in Las Vegas. It was a big break for her, and Emmett encouraged her to take it. But he didn't want to move to Vegas. His business, his life, his family – everything was here on the east coast. Except Luke, of course, but Emmett couldn't pretend Luke was part of his life anymore. He and Angela had a long, honest discussion and ultimately decided it was time to separate. Angela no longer needed Emmett's help or cover; his job was done. They worked out the arrangements very amicably, and when Angela got on the plane for Las Vegas, Mary-Ann stayed home with Emmett for the first few months.
In the days and weeks after Angela left, Emmett found himself thinking about Luke even more than before. Hadn't he always promised Luke that he and Angela would separate, and he'd be free again? He wondered what might have happened if Luke had been able to wait this out. Would it have made any difference? The question nagged at him a little and gave him a sense of unfinished business, though he knew that, realistically, none of it mattered now.
He thought again about calling Luke. They hadn't spoken since that fateful night when he was in London. Luke had made no attempt to reach him, not even to provide a new phone number. Of course, Emmett understood why; he understood Luke needed a clean break to be able to forge his new life. Emmett's last and final duty had been to let Luke go as easily and painlessly as he could.
But two years had passed; they'd both moved on. Was he never to speak to Luke again? Surely there had to come a point when they would resume their platonic friendship, though the romantic one was gone. Emmett would take Luke either way.
He mulled it over for a couple of days, then got Luke's new number from Jerry. That night, after he put Mary-Ann to bed, Emmett poured himself a whiskey and soda, settled himself in his favourite easy chair, and dialled the number.
The voice that answered was neither Luke's nor Laura's; presumably it was someone on staff. Emmett asked for Luke without introducing himself. After a long pause he heard Luke's voice – still familiar, though slightly altered.
“Hello.” Luke sounded curious but not wary; perhaps staff usually identified callers for him.
“Luke. It's me,” Emmett said, trying to sound calmer than he felt; then he clarified quickly, “Emmett.”
He heard Luke take in his breath. There was a short pause, and Emmett wondered if he'd made a mistake.
“Em,” Luke said at last. “What's up? Is something – ?”
Of course; Luke must think there was a reason for Emmett to contact him out of the blue like this. Emmett rushed to reassure him. “I'm fine. Nothing's wrong, everyone's fine. I just – wanted to say hi. Is that okay?”
Luke let out his breath quickly. “Oh, good. Uh – of course, it's fine. How are you?”
Emmett leaned his head back against the chair and shut his eyes. He wished he could just listen to Luke's voice. “I'm good. How about you?”
“I'm good, fine.” Luke spoke quickly, like he did when he was thinking ahead. “I – I'm glad you called. Listen, Em, I'm so sorry for – how I handled things. I know I – ”
“No, it's okay. Really, it's fine. Don't apologize, man. In fact, I owe you a thank you. That bonus was very generous, I really appreciated it…”
“It's nothing.” Luke sounded embarrassed. “Least I could do. Hey, I heard you bought Forge – congratulations.”
“Thanks, man. And congratulations to you on your – is it two kids now?”
“Yeah, two – boy and a girl, they're great, thanks, man.”
“How’s Laura?”
“Oh, she’s good, busy with her own music, you know…”
Emmett paused, blinking at the receiver in his hand. There was so much more to talk about, but so little he could say. “I, um…I just got separated. Angela, she moved out to Vegas but I'm still here in Philly. We're getting divorced now – just like I said.”
Luke didn't speak right away, and Emmett squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself mentally; this was absurd.
“Yeah, that's, um…” Luke took a long breath. “Em, you know, it's – it's too late, I can't – ”
“I know, I know – of course. I just – wanted to tell you. Because I always said I would. But it doesn't matter now, I know.”
“Em…”
“It's okay, Luke. Listen, I just wanted to say hi, see how you're doing. I'm – I'm glad things are going so well for you.”
Luke's laugh was slightly shaky. “Well, I'm not sure how well, I mean musically. We'll see what happens with the next record. But yeah, we're all good here. I'm glad you're doing okay too.”
“Yeah. I mean – I miss you though. I was hoping…” Emmett paused again, and thought about the unsteadiness, the slight cracks, in Luke's voice. “But maybe it's better we don't talk for a bit, huh?”
A faint sigh slipped through the line. “I wish we could – but – ”
“It's okay. We don't need to. But Luke – just – don't make me go through someone else to track down your phone number next time, okay?”
This time Luke's chuckle was real. “Of course. Sorry about that. Here, let me give you my personal number, this one's kinda the work line, guess you got it from Jerry. Ready? It's…”
Emmett wrote the number down, circled it, and added a big L. “Thanks, man. I won't use it unless I have to.”
“If you ever need anything, just let me know. I love you, Em.”
“You too, El.”
After he hung up, Emmett felt strangely at peace. He didn't call Luke again, but he put the piece of paper with the phone number away in a small drawer in the desk in his study, and knowing it was there always made him feel better.
He still thought about Luke at night, but he no longer wondered what might have been. This was his life now, and he guessed he was okay with it. For the first time he didn’t have anyone else to answer to. For so many years, he’d tried to meet other people’s expectations – his mother’s at first, then Clarissa’s, most recently Angela’s, and, for so many years, Luke’s. Now it was up to Emmett alone to forge the life he wanted. People might think he was alone and lonely, but he filled his world with music, family and friends, his craft and his business. He had no reason to date again – there was nothing to hide anymore, and Luke would always own his heart. He'd just rattle around in this house, with Mary-Ann when it was her turn to stay with him, until she left or he died, whichever came first.