In the morning Luke got up and dressed and talked like nothing had happened, which Emmett was grateful for. He'd never meant to talk about his past that way; it was hard to believe Luke didn't think less of him now. But Luke didn't allude to the previous night's conversation or act any different at all.
Pretty soon everything else was forgotten in the excitement of preparing for the European leg of the tour. Emmett had flown to tournaments once or twice during his college wrestling career, but Luke had never been on a plane before and seemed like a kid looking forward to it.
Although the band was doing well now, financially, Luke didn't want to fly over the full team and all their equipment, so adjustments had to be made. The team was reduced to bare minimum, and they all spent more time together again. It was almost like the early touring days.
Emmett loved walking around the cities he'd heard or read about in his youth: Paris, Rome, Berlin, Amsterdam. He tried to get out every day, and the others often joined him – Ray or Gordon or Leo, or Luke whenever he could get away. They were especially curious to meet European women, who were indeed different from their American counterparts in ways Emmett couldn't exactly define, apart from their accents. Luke and Emmett were too busy investigating these differences to spend many nights with each other.
The shows themselves went well, with very large, warm, receptive audiences. In chatting with people before and after the shows, Emmett gathered that Luke had a dedicated fanbase in most of these countries that had been waiting years for him to make the trip overseas.
Luke got to know these new crowds by trying out different songs and stories and set lists. The European fans were especially enthusiastic about Emmett, and Luke played on their excitement with ever more over the top tributes to him during the introductions: “The handsomest man you ever seen!” “The greatest man that ever walked the earth!” This wasn't completely new, and Emmett had always found it amusing, but the deep bow or drop to one knee that Luke added now, with a sly glance at Emmett, was more disconcerting.
They spent almost two months in Europe, often playing multiple nights in the same cities, and taking a two or three day break between countries. Emmett loved almost every minute of this new experience, and the whole band seemed rejuvenated, especially Luke.
When it was over they flew back to the States and resumed the American tour, doing another round of appearances in larger cities, and often staying in the same location for up to a week. This schedule was much less demanding, allowing the guys to relax a bit and to renew acquaintances they'd previously made in these locations.
By now Emmett knew he wasn't looking for a serious girlfriend. For one thing, he had no interest in being tied down again, at least not yet. Whatever emotional connection he needed he got from his kids, his family, and especially Luke. But even so, he knew appearances mattered. His mother and father, his friends and family back home, were always watching for news coverage about him. The way he arrived at events or was seen leaving a concert venue was important; ideally, it would be with an attractive woman who could pass for a girlfriend or potential girlfriend – someone for his mama to ask about when he spoke to her next, and for the newspaper columnists to speculate about. Much as he enjoyed Luke's crush and the nights they spent together, Emmett couldn't risk any possibility of gossip damaging Luke's career.
He had started to grow familiar with the different types of women he met on tours – ranging from young, earnest fans to professional groupies. After a few experiences in which he unwittingly caused hurt feelings or disappointment, Emmett tried to avoid girls who might have expectations of attachment or something serious, and sought out those who seemed to be looking for the same things he wanted – casual entertainment and a bit of profile. Another fair trade.
***
“You alone?”
“Yep. C'mon over.”
Emmett met Luke at the door, pulled him inside, and kissed his mouth while kicking the door shut behind him. They'd seen each other just a couple of hours earlier, onstage at the arena, but something in Luke's arch glances as they played, the hand squeezes and slightly extended peck in “Flaming Up”, had told Emmett to expect a call after the show. The band was in the middle of a four-night run in Detroit, with the end of the tour now distantly in sight.
Luke laughed, returning the kiss, then took the bottles he was carrying over to the cabinet to mix drinks.
“Man, I thought I'd never get away from that reporter,” Luke said. “Hope you weren't waitin’ on me.”
“I figured.”
Emmett had already showered, and wore just his robe. He sat on the edge of the bed to wait for Luke, who, as always, had changed into fresh clothes. He understood that Luke didn't want to be seen entering his room in pajamas or something, but it always slightly rankled him to be less dressed.
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He accepted the drink with a nod at Luke. “Clothes off, man.”
Luke gave him a funny look, then said mockingly, “Yes, sir,” and pulled off his tank top. “It's cold though, can I borrow something?”
Emmett gathered him into a warm bear hug before going to find an extra bathrobe. “You're starting to fill out,” he said admiringly, as Luke rolled up the sleeves a few times. “My clothes aren't as big on you as they used to be.”
“Still long enough to trip over. Am I allowed to get on the bed now?”
Luke spoke lightly but Emmett had felt a kind of tension since he arrived, and wondered what was coming. They leaned back on the bed, Luke fitting himself against Emmett's body as he always did, and they kissed a bit between sips of their drinks.
“So what did you think tonight?”
For some reason Luke always wanted Emmett's opinion on their shows, as though his was the only opinion that mattered. Mindful of Luke's frustration at being humoured, Emmett usually tried to be honest.
“Sound quality could have been better, even for an arena.”
“Yeah, I guess Ray can't work miracles.”
“Gordie was on fire. I saw you try to keep Leo from speeding up at the end of 'Blue Steel'."
“He always does that.”
Emmett hesitated for a moment. “Listen, you know I love Eddie but…you ever think maybe he doesn't suit your style?”
“What d'you mean?” Luke’s fingers stopped moving on Emmett’s thigh, and he twisted around to look into Emmett’s face. “Half my songs are built around his guitar.”
“I mean his singing, not the guitar.”
“What about his singing? His voice is okay.”
“It's not that. It's just…he kinda always sounds like he's being ironic or something.”
“Oh yeah.” Luke laughed. “Sure, that's just how he is.”
“But the thing is…” Emmett furrowed his brow and spoke slowly, choosing his words as he went along. “Your songs aren't ironic. Your songs are so – heartfelt, sincere. When you sing, it's right from the heart.”
“Well…yeah.”
“So it just seems odd when I look over at Eddie and he seems kinda – sarcastic. It's almost like he's mocking you. I know he's not,” Emmett added in a rush. “He loves your music like I do. It's just…incongruous.”
“It's what?”
“Incongruous.”
“That some kind of college word?”
“Out of place.”
“Thanks for the vocabulary lesson.”
Emmett felt like he'd done his duty. If Luke didn't want to hear any more about Eddie that was fine with him.
“Where do we go after this?” he asked instead.
“Buffalo, Boston, Jersey ...”
“Two months till we get home.”
“Bout that.” Luke shifted a little on the mattress to sit up straighter. “So listen Em…”
Here it comes, Emmett thought. He finished off his drink and waited.
“I been thinkin’, and I decided I want to try it.”
Emmett looked at him blankly. “Try what?”
“Bein’ your boy.” Luke gave his abashed chuckle, the one that always ended abruptly.
“What?”
“I mean, I know I am already but I wanna try it that way. The way you like it.”
“Forget it, Luke.” Emmett couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. Was Luke mocking him? He set his glass down and started to pull away but Luke put a hand on his thigh.
“Hold on, hear me out Em. You think I'm…making fun of you? I ain't. You think I been able to focus on anything else these last two months?”
He meant it, Emmett could see. “But I told you, I…”
“I know, you didn't like it with those other guys. But those guys were assholes. It'll be different with me.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because you love me. And vice versa.”
“So why would we…treat each other like that?”
“Em. You love bein’ the boss of me. Don't you hear yourself?”
Emmett laughed despite the tension, and though he wanted to defend himself, he couldn't deny it. They had developed a kind of dynamic that often put him in charge, and he did kind of feel comfortable with it. “I thought you didn't mind that.”
“If I minded you woulda heard about it.”
“That's just for fun, though, it doesn't mean I want it that way. You don't have to go along with it.”
“I know I don't have to. I want to.”
“But why? What do you get out of it?”
Luke raised an eyebrow and gave Emmett a half-sheepish grin. “I don't know, exactly, I just know I want to try.”
Emmett hesitated, torn once again between his duty to protect and Luke's obvious desire. He understood that, in some way, Luke was also offering him a chance to take his past experience, an uncomfortable memory, and transform it into something better.
He stalled. “Why do you say those other guys were assholes? You didn't know them.”
“Because they used you. They had a chance to be your friend and they threw it away.”
As Emmett continued to hover indecisively, Luke reached over, squeezed his hand, and looked him full in the face. “Let's try it one time, Em. If you don't like it, I swear I'll never bring it up again.”
Surely this was just more curiosity. Maybe they should try it, so Luke could see that crawling around on the floor was less fun than he thought. Not that humouring his curiosity had ever stopped him before. “What…did you have in mind, exactly?” Emmett asked finally.
A gleam sparked in Luke's eye instantly. “I was thinkin’ you could give me some of them rules like you gave those other boys.”
“Oh no.” Emmett shook his head with conviction. “I'm not doing that.” He remembered too clearly some of the disasters he'd been part of in his college days. “If we try this, you'll have to decide for yourself what you want to do.”
Luke looked taken aback. “Don't that kinda defeat the purpose?”
“I'm not going to make rules for you when I don't know what you can handle.”
“But I don't know either. How'm I supposed to…”
“You're gonna have to figure that out,” Emmett said firmly, “if you want to do this.”
Luke was silent for a moment, frowning. “Okay. But…maybe you'll make the rules later?”
Emmett elbowed Luke. “If there's a later. You said we're only trying this once.”
“Unless we like it, man.”
Somehow it seemed to have been settled. As usual, Emmett had the slightly off-kilter feeling of being several steps behind Luke and trying to catch up.
“So…uh…what do I do?” Luke, having got his way, now looked a bit awkward.
“You want to start now?” Emmett saw Luke's hesitation and made the decision himself. “Another time. When you're ready you can let me know.”
Luke nodded. “Okay.” He moved into Emmett's arms. “For tonight I'll just be your usual smart-ass boy.”
“Aw, my favorite.”