When Emmett opened his eyes in the morning Luke was gone, which was unusual since Emmett usually woke first. He pulled on his clothes and stepped outside, then saw a blanket draped over a railing and understood. Inside the studio he found Luke in the kitchenette and slid an arm around his waist to give him a reassuring squeeze. By the time the others arrived they were as comfortable with each other as ever.
The next few weeks continued much as before. On most nights Luke and Emmett worked late at the studio and fell asleep almost immediately, but once in a while they'd finish up early and retire to the tent to talk and make out for a bit before going to sleep. If Luke reacted physically, though, he was more careful to keep it hidden and Emmett didn't need to help him out again, although it occasionally occurred to him that he wouldn't have minded.
In general, Emmett was still vaguely baffled by Luke. He didn't doubt their mutual loyalty or affection, and he suspected his own feelings verged on something more intense than friendship. But he still couldn't quite figure out what Luke wanted. Was it just curiosity that made him want to try new things with Emmett? Were they new things for Luke? Of course, experience with other men didn't necessarily mean anything; Emmett knew that first-hand. Luke seemed to like women – he'd been with many, as Emmett had seen for himself. He might have been with other men as well but he probably wasn't actually a homosexual. And if he was, Emmett didn't care.
Obviously society didn't approve of homosexuals, but Emmett had concluded years ago that society was bullshit. Society made up all kinds of rules that didn't make any sense and, if anything, were just used to keep certain people down. As far as Emmett could see, the only real difference between good and bad was how other people were impacted. Actions that hurt someone else were bad; actions that helped someone else were good, and everything else was up to you. Ray and José weren't hurting anyone else, so what did it matter who they slept with? But he and Luke weren't like Ray and José.
His 'boys' in college – they hadn't cared about him, they didn't want to be his friend; they'd only wanted one thing from him, and they'd only wanted it for one reason. Emmett had paid them back by taking what he wanted from them just as coolly, so in the end, none of that was good or bad but only a kind of fair trade. Was Luke curious about him the way those boys had been?
But Luke was nothing like them. Luke saw Emmett as a real person, a friend, someone he wanted to know and spend time with. His interest wasn't in Emmett's size or skin colour. Although he did seem to like those things.
In the end Emmett chose to just stop wondering about it all and enjoy the days and nights with his friend. Their time in the studio was finally coming to a close. With the title track complete, the rest of the songs seemed to come together more quickly and soon Luke had more than he needed for one record. He agonized over which tracks to include and which to leave out but that was a good dilemma to be in. After that there were a couple of last-minute overdubs, then final mastering and sending the finished reels off to the record company. By the end of June, it was all over.
Emmett and the rest of the band packed up their instruments and all the odds and ends they'd accumulated in the studio over the last eight months. They had a final toast and said their goodbyes to Sol and the studio folks who by this time seemed like family. As people started heading off, Emmett went out to the field to pack up his bedding and tent.
Much as he looked forward to sleeping in a real house again, he thought he'd miss the nights out here with Luke. Of course they'd be seeing each other soon, but it wouldn't be quite the same, would it?
“Hey, Em.”
He looked up from flattening the air mattress to see Luke in front of him, smiling.
“Figured I'd find you out here.” Luke picked up one of the blankets and started folding. “I got Leo to give you a ride home with all this stuff. I'll go with Jenny.”
“Thanks.”
They moved to opposite sides of the tent Emmett had already taken down and started folding the canvas in from the sides.
“I'm really going to miss this thing,” Luke said, a little sheepishly.
“I was just thinking that.”
“It was a real life-saver. Tell Clarissa I appreciate her lettin’ us use it.”
They walked towards each other holding the canvas, and met in the middle. When Emmett took the material into his hands, Luke reached up to wrap his arms around Emmett's shoulders.
“And you. I'll miss you.”
“You'll see me in a few days.”
“Yeah.” Luke let go, and his eyes glistened a little. “You know I love you, man. Like a brother. I love you like a brother.”
Emmett laughed. “Well, you don't have brothers, Luke, so maybe you don't know. But I never did that kind of stuff with my brothers.”
Luke feinted at him playfully and the mood was broken. They loaded everything up, carried it to Leo's car, waved goodbye and headed off to their own homes.
***
Saving Grace was the breakthrough Luke had been hoping for. This time, when Jerry released the title track to a few select FM stations a month early, it got immediate airplay and added to the existing hype around Luke. Then the full band appeared on the cover of a major magazine, and that generated more buzz. Influential record critics who got advance copies of the album wrote rave reviews, calling it revolutionary and the future of rock and roll. By the time the full album came out in September demand was sky-high and everyone was talking about Luke Clarkston and the B-sides.
Luke knew he should be happy – and he was – but mostly he found himself trying to adjust to the most intense sense of whiplash he'd experienced so far. The pressure to produce a successful third album was gone – like a monkey off his back – only to be replaced immediately with a new kind of pressure to capitalize on the current moment. His record company wanted him out touring immediately; they wanted him doing media events and interviews every day; they wanted to know when his next record would be ready.
“I ain't goin’ back to the studio tomorrow!” he protested to Jerry. “We just got outta there.”
“That's fine, I'll tell them that.” Even Jerry, usually unperturbed by anything, seemed a bit overwhelmed. “Just keep doing the media, and let's get the tour going.”
“I need some time first,” Luke said firmly. Somehow, he knew that right now he had to stand his ground, at least on one thing. Whichever one thing was most important. “You know I love touring but it's gotta be right. I need some time to work with the band before we hit the road.”
“Haven't you been working with them for the last eight months?”
“That was different. We need to work on the live show. Can you get us a few gigs around here to start with?”
“The suits are going to flip out. How long do you need?”
“Just a coupla months. We can start the tour before the end of the year. You gotta manage the company guys, all right? I'll start rehearsals right away.”
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And so, three months after leaving the studio, the band went to work full-time again, this time at a rehearsal space in downtown Philadelphia, so no tent was required.
Luke wanted to revamp the overall feel of their live show, to make more space for the new songs and add a bit of gravitas while still keeping the excitement of a house party. It was a tricky balance to strike and they would need to try out different set lists to see how song flows worked with live audiences. He also needed to work out new arrangements for some of the songs from the last album that hadn't been part of their concerts previously.
While they rehearsed, Luke tried to keep his head down, ignore all the excitement and tune out the record company. Jerry kept trying to tell him how big the tour would be, how many records they'd sold, but he didn't want to hear that until he and the band were ready. He did have to do interviews almost every day, and sometimes he had to deal with business that couldn't wait, but most of his focus stayed on the band.
This time around Eddie agreed to tour with them, which was a huge relief. It took a lot of persuading, and some financial promises, but Luke was relentless. Although his own guitar playing had improved, he really needed Eddie both for the sound and the support. He knew in his heart that asking Eddie to put his own career on hold was unfair, but this was the tour that counted for him, the one that everyone would be watching. Luke reasoned with himself that if all went well, he'd be in a better position to support Eddie's work later on. And in the meantime, he got to play on stage with Eddie to his left and Emmett to his right, a position that made him feel invincible.
Socially he didn't have much time for anything. After they’d left the studio Luke had been involved with one of the girls he'd dated earlier, but he didn't see her very often now. If he was being honest, he didn't really mind; he already knew they wouldn't make it through the next tour. The only people he saw outside of rehearsals were Eddie and Emmett, and even that was rare. Eddie was trying to cram in all of his own projects before they left, and Emmett felt like a treat Luke couldn't allow himself too often.
By November Luke was satisfied with the updated live show and started working with Jerry and the technical team on tour logistics. A couple of weeks later he called a band meeting after their regular rehearsal to announce the details. They would leave in a month, and be out for almost all of 1976.
“Jerry's gonna be talking to you about contracts next week. I strongly suggest you get a lawyer to look ’em over, I wouldn't trust that crook,” Luke said, laughing.
“Can I use my divorce guy?” Emmett asked.
“I don't recommend it, Mountain.”
“Man, I never needed a lawyer in my life before, now I need two of them.”
“You guys should all have lawyers and really – you should think about getting your own managers. Technically Jerry works for me, ya know. Also, I'll be reviewin’ all on-stage outfits, just so you know.”
The band had questions, and Luke did his best to answer them. At the end of the meeting, as the others packed up to leave, he called Emmett over.
“Hey Em, there's a reporter from some paper in Roanoke that wants to interview you – I guess you're their hometown boy. That okay?”
“Sure,” said Emmett. “I've never done an interview before though.”
Luke gave him an encouraging pat on the back. “You'll do great. Just keep it simple, stay upbeat, don't say too much. You try to get all deep and heart-to-heart with them – it never goes well. Okay?”
“Got it. No problem.”
“And listen. I'm supposed to do a big piece with this guy from Purple Haze magazine next week – a kinda 'day in the life' thing with a photo shoot…”
“You want me to go shopping with you for something to wear?” Emmett asked brightly.
“No – ” Luke stopped, surprised at first and then a bit wounded. “What are you sayin’, man, I need better clothes?”
Emmett laughed and threw an arm around him. “No, no, you always look great.”
“I was gonna ask if you wanna come with me.”
“To the – ?”
“To the interview.”
“But…why? They want to talk to you, not me.”
“Man, I been doin’ these things for months now. It's hard to keep comin’ up with stuff, and this is supposed to be all day! I figure if you're there we'll have more to talk about. Will ya? Please?”
“I mean…sure. If they don't mind.”
“They won't.”
“Okay. Why don't I come over beforehand and help you choose your outfit?”
“Yeah, I get it, I need help.”
“Maybe I can bring José along too.”
***
The Saving Grace tour kicked off in mid-December of 1975, and this time they headed south first, chasing the good weather. The schedule would take them all across the country, as far south as Texas and right over to the west coast, playing large clubs and halls with a capacity of a thousand or more. As promised, they had a full-sized bus with a real driver for the band and main crew; gear and equipment went in a separate transport truck. Ray, José and Mark each had their own small teams, in addition to the roadie crew and a dedicated security coordinator. Best of all, they slept in real hotels and each had their own rooms.
The Purple Haze event had gone so well that Luke and Emmett were now something of a legendary duo in music circles. The double-page spread inside the magazine highlighted their playfulness and comfort with each other but the main draw was a striking cover photo featuring the two of them holding their instruments, with Luke, tanned in a sleeveless tank and beret José had picked out for him, nestled inside Emmett's massive sepia arms. Luke was well aware of the symbolic power of this already iconic photo, and wondered if he could capitalize on it during their shows.
The new set list replaced some of Luke's old party songs and blues-rock jams with newer material – pulsating anthems of defiance and resistance like “Saving Grace” mixed in with slow building laments of loss and despair that heavily featured Emmett's harp. Even the sunnier singalongs had been updated with richer, more complex pieces like “Mountain Home”, an ode to finding peace and security in unexpected places.
In these bigger venues the band had more space to spread out. Gordon even had a real, full-sized piano to play this time. Leo's drum set and Gord's piano lined the back of the stage while Pete generally hung out in the space between them. That left Emmett, Luke and Eddie for the front line.
Eddie still looked sharp, and brought a kind of detached ironic cool to the stage. He often traded vocals with Luke, sharing the mic so closely their faces almost touched. The second guitar gave the band a harder edge and meant Luke only had to add rhythm and the odd solo while focusing more on singing and crowd management.
On his other side, Emmett was a powerhouse of support, instinctively responding to whatever Luke did. He had more confidence now, an onstage authority that let him command the crowd almost as well as Luke did. Just standing beside him made Luke feel like the envy of everyone in the room.
Luke's fans had always been enthusiastic, but on previous tours they'd been mixed with casual attendees, often curious locals or drinkers who just happened to be at the bar. Now the whole crowd was there specifically to see the band: some old fans and many more new ones attracted through the latest album or media hype. Luke still had to work to pull everyone in, but he felt like he started off one step ahead with these audiences.
For the first time, he was routinely asked for autographs. At the end of a show, small groups of fans would stay behind or wait outside the backstage door with album covers or posters for him to sign. Luke enjoyed these meetings and was always happy to oblige. He often felt like it was the least he could do to repay the people who made it possible for him to live out his dream.
Even venue staff and local industry folks treated him and the band almost like stars, meeting them diffidently, expressing admiration for the latest album or asking if they needed anything. Jerry hadn't added any extravagant riders to the contracts but now organizers supplied lavish food and drink and sometimes flowers or other amenities backstage. In the past, when Luke met locals in the music industry they’d felt like colleagues; now they seemed more like employees or admirers.
Some things didn't change at all though. Every time the band got on their bus to drive to a new location, no matter how many empty seats there were now, Luke always swung himself in to ride beside Emmett.
***
“Bet you don't regret giving up your day job now, Em.”
“I never regretted it. Best thing I could've done.”
“You must make more money with us now than you did as a counsellor.”
“Well, a bit more. If the tour income stays steady, I'm better off.”
Darkness slipped by outside the window and hung in the air all around them; their bodies pressed together, and the vague sense of moving forward in the night enveloped them.
“What does Clarissa think now? She see your point of view more?”
“I don't know, I haven't asked her. Maybe.”
“What if we get even bigger – say you're a big star, rakin’ it in. You think she'd wanna get back together?”
Emmett paused, rubbing his hand against Luke's shoulder absently. “I don't know, maybe.”
“Would you? Get back together?”
“No, man.” This time the answer was definitive. “I love her but that's over.”
“So…you're happy about what happened?” Luke looked up at Emmett with a wrinkled brow, as though trying to understand the secrets of marriage.
“Not happy exactly, but it's probably the best thing that happened to us. You gotta understand, Luke…Clary and me were never really that tight. I mean, we fit together, we made a good team back then. But she wasn't the love of my life, and I'm not the love of hers. Right now she's mad at me but she's not heart-broken. I wouldn't be doing her any favours by taking her back. Without me she's got a chance to find the real love of her life. And maybe I can find mine.”
Luke was quiet, his head on Emmett's chest, listening without comment.
“I plan to look anyway,” Emmett said, more playfully now. “I'm a free man this tour so I got lots of opportunity to find the right person.”
“You think you're gonna find the love of your life backstage after a show?”
“You never know. I can have fun trying, anyway.”