Just before the break, Laura told Luke she wouldn't be joining the band for the second phase of the tour. She wanted to stay home with the kids so they could start at their regular school in the fall, and so she could prepare for her own upcoming solo tour.
Luke congratulated himself on his foresight in adding Robbie to the band. To learn Laura's parts, Robbie spent most of the break at the farmhouse working with Luke. They spent their days holed up in the studio, then emerged in the evening to join the rest of the family.
“So my old band called me today,” Robbie said casually over dinner one night. “They wanted me to join their new tour.”
“When?” Luke asked, trying not to sound alarmed. Laura was out at rehearsal tonight, so he and Robbie were trying to keep Julia and Jason corralled at the table.
“Next month.” Robbie leaned over to cut up Jason’s salmon for him, and gave Luke a reassuring grin. “I told them I can't, obviously.”
“Don't you like your old band?” Julia asked curiously.
“Sure I do, buddy. I'd love to tour with them sometime. But I have a great opportunity playing with your dad's band right now, so why would I throw that away?”
Now that the danger had passed, Luke felt more inclined to provide benevolent advice. “You can't be afraid to take risks if you want to make it in this business, Robbie.”
“Sure, but – ”
“As long as you got talent and work hard, you'll do fine.”
“Yeah, but why would I want to throw away something I've already got – and love – to take a risk that might not pay off?”
“You gotta have faith in yourself.”
“I have faith in myself. It's the rest of the world I'm not so sure of.”
“The world's not so bad. It's always treated me well.”
Robbie started to respond, then stopped himself with a small laugh.
“Well, daddy,” Julia piped up. “Maybe that's ’cause you don't look like Robbie.”
“What?” Luke almost choked on his food.
“Mama says some people get treated different ’cause of how they look.” Julia glanced from Luke to Robbie and back again, as though wondering why she had to explain this. “People like Robbie and Em and Gordie.”
“Well, that don't – ” Luke started, and then stopped. “I mean, it's the same world for everyone.”
Robbie was laughing openly now. “What do you think, Jules? Is it the same for everyone?”
Julia looked at her father as though she felt a bit sorry for him. “That doesn't even make sense.”
Luke barely spoke for the rest of the meal. Afterward he put the kids to bed with Robbie's help, still distracted, then picked up a guitar in the living room and ran his fingers over the strings idly to try and clear his head. When Robbie looked in to say good-night, Luke waved without looking up.
“Hey…everything okay, dude?” Robbie asked, pausing on his way out.
“Yeah, sure, sorry. Just thinking. And, um…of course you're right, man. It's not the same world for all of us.”
Robbie gave him a quick hug and headed out, leaving Luke to sort out his thoughts alone.
Ever since the conversation at dinner, he'd had a vague, disquieting notion that something about his internal narrative needed to be re-considered. For years, he'd thought of himself as a poor working-class kid who got ahead through grit, hard work and talent. Now it occurred to him for the first time that there might be more to his story than that. He remembered a long-ago conversation with Emmett, when he'd suggested they should take a leap forward together, start over again if necessary – how he'd seen himself as the bold, scrappy risk-taker and Emmett as hesitant, fearful, faithless. Now, once again, he had that familiar sense of his perspective shifting as he looked back on the moment. Could their differences have been less about faith and more about how they saw the world, and how the world saw each of them?
Luke played a few notes on his guitar as he re-considered the past. He'd always looked up to Emmett, seen him as older, wiser, better spoken, more educated, sophisticated, middle-class. It hadn't occurred to him that on other scales, Emmett might not be as well off. Not just the one Julia and Robbie had alluded to, either. Money, for another example, and power – Luke had enough of both to fully control his life and his career. Emmett had answered to others – his family, his job – for his whole life; it was only now, with his own business and his own band, that he had any experience of true independence.
Did all of that really make the world so different for the two of them? Luke strummed a few chords, pondering. Wasn't reality objective? Was what you saw the same thing your neighbour saw? Could one truth be told for everyone? Words began forming in his mind, the way song lyrics often did for him. Maybe truth depended on who told it, and who saw it…
He worked for the rest of the night on a tune for his new lyrics, shaping them together into a bluesy, melancholy, acoustic number. Not something for the full band, but maybe a little sax accompaniment would work? The song was roughly formulated when he went to bed that night – late, and wondering why Laura wasn't home yet.
***
The next day he got an answer to his question about Laura. He was in the studio with Robbie, playing him the new song and explaining what he had in mind for a sax refrain, when she popped in and asked to speak to him.
Luke left Robbie working on his part and followed Laura to the living room, where he sat down and she poured them both drinks. It started to dawn on him that this was going to be a serious conversation.
“What's up?” he asked, taking the drink. “And hey, weren't you out pretty late last night?”
“Yeah.” Laura sat down in the chair across from him and hesitated a little. She wore loose jeans with an oversized sweatshirt, and her hair fell to her shoulders in simple waves now. “Listen. I really hate to spring this on you when you'll be back on the road so soon. But it can't wait till the end of the tour so I'm afraid it has to be now.”
“What? What is it?”
“It's Pedro.”
“Pedro – your piano player? What about him?”
“Well, the thing is, I – I'm afraid we have feelings for each other.”
Luke's mouth fell open. He froze for a long moment, then remembered his drink and tossed it back. Laura waited while he recovered.
“What – but, what – since when?”
“I mean, it's been under the surface for a while, you know. But we've talked about it and…Luke, he loves me back. I never knew what that felt like. And now I know – well, I can't settle for anything else. I'm sorry, I don't mean to disrupt your life. But I want a divorce.”
Luke shut his mouth and looked into his empty glass, then got up and went over to the bar.
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“I'm sorry, Luke. It's my fault – I thought we could make things work knowing my feelings were one-sided, and I guess we did for a while. But I can't pass up this chance for something real.”
“Of course.” The words came out automatically as Luke topped up his soda with scotch, but he meant them. Of course she wanted to be loved, of course that was the right choice for her, of course it would be better than this – this arrangement of convenience. “Laura, I totally understand.”
“Do you?” She looked up at him so wistfully that he set his glass down and went over to take her in his arms.
“You're doing the right thing. I mean – if you're really sure about it?”
“I'm sure. I mean – we've known for a while. I didn't want to tell you till I was positive.”
“Then I'm happy for you. You always deserved more than I could give you.”
“You've been a fine partner, Luke.” She hugged him back with affection and regret, then pulled away and brushed at her eyes, sighing. “The kids are going to be devastated.”
“We'll just have to make it as easy as we can for them. You know I'll support you and…we'll figure everything out.”
For the rest of the break, Luke worked with Robbie on the new song, and with Laura on their future. He was genuinely happy for her – surely no one deserved love more than she did – and approved of Pedro, who he'd met a couple of times and knew well by reputation. But even with the best of intentions, a change this big, after seven years and two kids, would take some time to work through.
Luke had a few amicable conversations with Laura and Pedro to discuss living arrangements, shared parenting, public announcements, and the like, and then a few more with lawyers and publicists. Everyone agreed to keep the news quiet until the end of Luke's current tour – both to give Laura and Pedro some privacy, and to avoid overshadowing Laura's upcoming solo shows or Luke's big comeback. The children would be told by both parents together, once Luke returned from the tour. To reduce disruption, Luke offered to move out when he returned, leaving Laura and the kids at the farmhouse, and Laura was inclined to accept, at least until she and Pedro got settled in a place of their own.
By the time the break ended, Luke had more or less adapted to the new normal. He joined the rest of the band for the next phase of the tour, leaving Laura and the kids at home.
***
Emmett returned to the tour with Mary-Ann but not Denise, who hadn't arranged any more time off work. It was a bit lonelier for Mary-Ann without the other kids, but Luke kept Jason and Julia's teacher on for her benefit, and Emmett had employed a full-time caregiver, so she was well looked after.
They flew to Europe and settled in for a series of shows in Paris to start. For this part of the tour, they would set up camp in one hotel for a week or so, with hired drivers taking them back and forth to the concert venue, then fly to the next location and set up again.
From the first day, Emmett noticed something different about Luke. He was more subdued and withdrawn, which Emmett put down to the difficulty of leaving his family behind for a couple of months. But at the same time, Luke seemed to seek out Emmett's company more often and be extra attentive to him. There were no bus rides in Europe, and Emmett kept Mary-Ann beside him whenever they were in cars or planes, but Luke would frequently join him during meals, and before or after shows. More than once Emmett caught Luke watching him with an expression he couldn't quite place, somewhere between meditative and searching, as though trying to read something in his face.
“Denise not joining us this time?” Luke asked on one of their first mornings at the Paris hotel.
“No, not for this part.” Emmett made room for Luke at his breakfast table, a bit puzzled to see him up so early.
“Everything still…good with her?”
“Sure.” Emmett shrugged. Mary-Ann was still asleep in their hotel room; Emmett usually left once Sarah, the caregiver, arrived in the morning.
“I guess Mary-Ann likes Denise.”
“Yeah.”
Luke nodded and added a bit awkwardly, “You…you haven't been involved with anyone else since Angela left?”
“Not really.” Emmett felt a strangely familiar flicker, something that reminded him of old days. “Me and Denise, we just started out as friends but…you know how it goes.”
“Sure I do.”
And then Luke lapsed into silence, and Emmett had to force him into conversation about the upcoming shows.
In truth, without Denise or Laura around to inhibit him, Emmett found it increasingly difficult not to spend most of his time thinking about Luke. Between their onstage antics and Luke's offstage interest they seemed to be slipping into their old patterns and naturally gravitating to each other again, which was a relief to Emmett, who had never really wanted to dwell on how much he missed Luke's company.
But at night, alone in his hotel room – on concert nights Mary-Ann slept in Sarah's room so that neither of them had to wait up for him – Emmett knew it wasn't only Luke's friendship he missed. The more they resumed old habits, the more of the old intimacies Emmett remembered. Some nights, especially after a show, when all he could remember was the warm weight of Luke in his arms or leaning against his chest, Emmett would give up trying to sleep and wander downstairs to the hotel lobby where a few fans would inevitably be waiting. More and more often now, when he struck up a conversation and eventually led the way up to his room, it would be with a young man rather than a woman.
The new band lineup took some getting used to for Emmett, but Luke seemed to enjoy having Emmett on one side of him and Robbie on the other, in Laura's old spot. Robbie was cautious at first and didn't take liberties – he'd wait for Luke's signals before joining him up front for solos or moving away from his assigned spot, but when he did, he brought a cool, confident energy to the stage.
“He reminds me of you when you were his age,” Luke said to Emmett, in the back seat of the car driving them away from a show.
“You didn't even know me at his age,” Emmett said, laughing. “I was thirty when we met.”
“Twenty years ago.” Luke half-smiled, and laid his head on Emmett's shoulder. “You know this year is our twentieth anniversary.”
Emmett actually had realized that at some point during the tour. “The best twenty years of my life,” he said.
He heard Luke take in his breath. “Even with…everything that happened? You mean that?”
“A hundred per cent.”
***
From Paris they moved on to London, and settled into the same routine. The band played four shows there – all of them sold out, with huge and enthusiastic crowds. On the last night, during their pre-concert huddle, Luke gave the band an additional instruction.
“Don't leave after the last song, okay, guys? We can do the line-up and bow, but then just hang tight behind me. I'm going to try out something new.”
As they headed to their stations, Emmett shot questioning glances at Gordie, Leo and Pete but they all looked just as mystified as him. That night they played for a raucous and exuberant crowd that fired up the band's intensity and resulted in one of the most powerful concerts of the tour. As always, Emmett and Luke joined forces to lead the crowd and channel its passion to drive the show. By the end of the night Emmett was exhausted and barely able to keep up with Luke, who, as always, thrived on this kind of energy.
He'd almost forgotten Luke's instructions when they all lined up at the front of the stage after the final encore, Emmett's hand clasped with Luke's and raised in the air, until Luke let go, whispered, “Hold on guys!” and stepped back up to the mic.
“Thank you again, London,” Luke said. “I just got one more thing to do here…” He paused and waited for the crowd, now on their feet, to settle back down. Then he nodded at Robbie, who, to Emmett's surprise, stepped forward on the dark stage beside the spotlight illuminating Luke, carrying his tenor sax.
“First of all, I want to thank the B-Sides for having my back for so many years.” Luke stepped aside, and the pool of light moved back to showcase Emmett, Gordon, Pete and Leo as they stood behind him. “And in particular…” Luke walked over to pick up Emmett's hand. “This man, who it's been my honour to stand beside for the past twenty years.”
Emmett blinked in surprise, as Luke turned around to grab his acoustic guitar from Mark. He let go of Emmett's hand and moved back to the mic, strapping on the guitar. “So tonight I want to try out a new song for you. It's called ‘Virginia Man’. Because it's taken me twenty years to figure out that sometimes things look different to a Philly boy and a Virginia man.”
He played a slow harmonic chord progression, repeated it once, and began singing quietly.
Truth is in the telling
Or maybe it's not
Truth is in the seeing
Maybe it's not
Truth is in the mouth
That does the telling
Or maybe it's in the eyes
That do the seeing
Don't the world look different
To a Virginia man
After the first chorus Luke turned his head away from the microphone, and out of the darkness came a low, melancholy refrain from Robbie's sax as he walked slowly over to Luke's spotlight.
Don't the world look different
To a Virginia man
As he neared the end of the song, Luke picked up his mic and carried it with him to position himself back at Emmett's side. Robbie followed, his slow sweet sax notes echoing the final vocal lines and then fading out.
After a second of silence, when applause filled the air, Luke lowered his mic and reached for Emmett's hand again. But Emmett shook his head, in tears. He hadn't cried since he was a child – not when his kids were born, not when Clarissa left him, not when Luke fired him. Tonight, he couldn't stop the flow and didn't try, but he wouldn't let Luke lift his hand – as though he were in some way equally responsible for this moment of grace. He could only gesture at Luke, bow his head, and lay his hand over his heart.
Luke gave a last wave at the crowd, the lights went off, and Emmett reached over to pull Robbie into a tight bear hug as they walked off together.
Backstage was in the usual chaos, but Luke was waiting, as always on this tour, to thank each of the band members individually. Emmett, his vision still blurred, waited with Robbie till the others were done. Luke gave Robbie a hug and spoke a few words in his ear. And then he was in Emmett's arms.
They stood wrapped together, not speaking and not moving, until Jerry's voice cut through the cacophony. “Luke! Press call, wrap-up interviews, they're waiting in the greenroom, let's go!”
Emmett smiled shakily and let Luke go with a last small squeeze, then found his way over to the waiting cars and rode back to the hotel alone.