By early spring of 1985, Luke had the new album mostly wrapped up. This one was bleaker, darker and more introspective than his previous records. When Emmett listened to the near-final tracks, he looked concerned, but Luke assured him it was just a way of getting his feelings out. Eddie and Emmett both helped with production again, Emmett acting as chief engineer.

They had Forge booked for final review and track listing but at the last minute, Eddie and, inexplicably, Emmett didn't show up. Jenny had just had her first baby so Luke understood that Eddie was needed at home, but Emmett? He'd just left a message at the studio saying something came up and he'd see Luke at home later.

“He's been like this a lot lately,” Luke said moodily, looking down at his beer. “Something's always comin' up.”

“I'm sure it was important,” Laura soothed. “I wish I could help.”

Luke had invited Jerry and Laura to the session as well. Jerry went home once Luke gave up on getting anything done, but Laura joined Luke at a nearby tavern where he could drown his vexations.

“You do help. But – but I need his input before I finalize anything. I don't know what's such a big deal that …”

“It's okay, we have the studio tomorrow too. I'm sure you can finish everything then.”

“That ain't exactly the point.” Luke downed his beer and called for another one. “Sometimes I feel like…” He paused.

“What? You feel like what?”

Laura was a good listener, and always discreet. “Like we ain't always on the same page.”

“You mean…musically?”

“Naw, not that, he's always on board with the music. More like – personally.”

“How do you mean?” Laura coaxed. Her hair had settled down to something closer to normal now, and she wore a long, loose skirt that looked a lot more comfortable.

“You know, I…” Luke paused again, trying to marshal his thoughts coherently after the four or five drinks he'd already polished off. “I like to – to be honest with the fans. I mean, I like to think I got a bit of, you know, personal integrity.”

“Sure, I think most people would say you do.”

“Well, Em – he, he don't think we owe anyone anything. He thinks it's fine to just – not be so honest.” Luke waved a hand vaguely. It occurred to him that if she asked what they weren't being honest about he'd have a hard time explaining, but she had too much tact to ask.

“I think Emmett sees the world his own way,” Laura said thoughtfully. “Different from us.”

“He don't care about having a family like we do, he's already got one.” Between the sympathy and the alcohol, Luke found it easy to keep talking; the hard part was not getting emotional. “He's already done the settling down thing.”

“He's just at a different point in his life, I guess.”

“He'd rather just keep touring and fucking Angela so he can be a big deal…”

“Well, touring is his livelihood, right? That's where he makes his money.”

“What does he need money for? I got plenty.” Luke spoke irritably, and then stopped as it occurred to him he might be saying too much. “Anyway, anyway,” he said, floundering to change the subject. “He loves me, that's what counts.”

“Well, you're very loveable.” Laura laughed, then stopped and reached across the table to grasp his forearm earnestly. “Listen, Luke. I know how it feels. I hope you get what you want.”

Something in the way she said it made Luke realize it was time to wrap up their conversation. Laura found his driver for him, and he headed back to the farmhouse.

***

At home, Luke found Emmett pacing the living room, wearing a black turtleneck under a pale blue, oversized sportscoat, as though he’d been dealing with something serious.

“What happened? Why didn't you show up?” Luke asked. He could hear the aggression in his voice but, after all, this was his work. Emmett was supposed to do what he said.

“I'm sorry, Luke. I had to go deal with something. Look, would you sit down? How'd it go?”

“It didn't. We put it off till tomorrow. Hopefully you'll deign to join us then.”

“I should be able to. Here – ” Emmett handed Luke a whiskey and soda, and motioned toward the couch. “Have a seat. We need to talk.”

Luke started to say he'd had enough already, but when he heard the last words, he tossed the drink back and sat, bracing himself.

“Here's the thing.” Emmett took the armchair across from him and leaned forward, arms on his knees. He took a breath and continued. “Angela's pregnant.”

“What?” Luke stared. “How'd that – wait. Are you saying…it's yours?”

“We think so.” Emmett sat quite still in his chair. “She'll do a test when the baby's born but there's only a couple of possibilities and…well, we had an accident around the right time.”

Luke looked into his empty glass and wished it was full. “So…she's having the kid?” he asked sullenly. Emmett would be a father again while he still couldn't figure out how to have a child of his own.

“Yes. She's having it. It's going to be – ”

“That's why you bailed out on me today? You had to go see Angela?”

“Yes. Look, it's not going to be easy for her. She's going to be taking care of a baby and still trying to keep her career going. I have to be able to support her – ”

“Okay. I get it. You got to be there for her. I suppose you'll have to miss a few – ”

“Luke. I'm marrying her.”

“What?”

Emmett slid quickly off his chair and onto the couch beside Luke. But when he reached over, Luke wrenched himself away and sprang up to his feet.

“It doesn't change anything, Lukey. My feelings for you are exactly the same. She knows it's only a temporary thing. It's just to give her some cover, so she doesn't start out as a single mom. I'll get her a place and give her some financial support and…”

“You don't have to marry her to do that.” Luke threw his back against the living room wall, as though trying to get far away from Emmett’s words. “What do you mean it don't change anything?”

“She just wants the baby to have an official family. I'll be around enough to keep up appearances, that's all. We should be able to afford a nanny or something, and she'll go back to work. After a few years we'll get a divorce. That's it, Luke.”

“That's it? What do you mean, that's it?” Luke drew in a panting breath, wishing he could focus his thoughts. “That's everything! That's – that's your whole fucking life!”

“No it's not. C'mon, man, don't be so dramatic. Will you come back over here and…”

“No. You won't even – even tell your kids who I am but you're going to marry this chick? And you think it's no big deal?”

Emmett leaned forward on the couch and looked up at Luke imploringly. “Please try and understand, Luke. I know it's upsetting – ”

“Upsetting?” Luke looked around for something to hit or throw, but there was nothing nearby. He imagined beating his fists against Emmett's solid chest and wondered if Emmett would even feel them. Sometimes it seemed like nothing Luke said or did made any impression on him at all.

Stolen story; please report.

“I'm really sorry,” Emmett went on, still earnest. “It's not what I wanted, and I know it's not fair to you. It was an accident, but it happened and I – I just want to do the right thing.”

“Why can't you do the right thing for me?”

Emmett’s face seemed to soften further into sorrow and regret. “I want to, Luke. I try every day but I don't always know what that is.”

Something in the way Emmett spoke finally drained the fury out of Luke, leaving him limp and exhausted. He slid down the wall to the floor, drawing up his knees and covering his face with his arms. After a moment he felt Emmett beside him and didn't have the strength to move away this time.

“It's just…hard,” Luke said at last, his voice low and muffled. “Those things you're giving her – why don't I get them?”

“I wish you could have everything you want, Luke. But those things are just for appearances. They aren't …they don't show what's in my heart.”

After a long moment, Luke raised his head, his eyes swollen but dry now. “That don't make it any easier.”

Emmett reached for him again, and this time Luke let himself be lifted from the floor and carried to the couch. Even now, he felt safer and somehow comforted while he was wrapped in Emmett’s arms, but tonight he noticed that Emmett’s breath came heavily, as though holding all of Luke's weight wasn't as effortless for him as it had once been.

***

They agreed that the wedding would be in late September, just before the baby was due, so Emmett could stay with Luke for as long as possible. When the album released in mid-summer, Luke began planning another tour to support it – a little shorter than the previous ones, but still playing the largest stadiums and coliseums. It would start in November and last till the following June, with almost a month off over the holidays. Band rehearsals were planned around Emmett's schedule, starting in August and running until the wedding, with refreshers in October or early November, after the baby's arrival.

Luke wasn't inclined to spread the news about Emmett's upcoming marriage himself, so most people first heard about it from the media. It was hard not to feel embarrassed, almost humiliated, when he started getting calls from friends and people on his team – surprised, curious, or sympathetic. The next time he saw Eddie, he got a big supportive hug; Laura squeezed his arm compassionately when they met. Luke wanted to snap that this wasn't a break-up; he hadn't lost his partner; he didn't need condolences. But even that was more than he was supposed to say. All he could do was play it cool, talk about how happy he was for his friend, and fall into Emmett's arms as soon as they were alone.

During this time Emmett was kinder, gentler and more patient than ever – the exact opposite, Luke often thought, of what would have actually helped. He didn't have the heart to complain, and it seemed pointless anyway since they only had a few months left together, despite Emmett's protestations that nothing would change after his marriage. So Luke slowly stopped asking for instructions or permissions, and Emmett barely seemed to notice that he was no longer in control.

Luke had only met Angela briefly up till now, which was how he liked it. But as band rehearsals began in August, wedding preparations were also ramping up, which apparently required Angela to consult endlessly with Emmett. Often Luke found himself picking up the phone at home and having to make conversation with her while he waited for Emmett to pick up an extension somewhere. He did his best to remain cordial, but some days it felt like the last in a long series of indignities grinding on his nerves.

Then it got worse.

Angela showed up at the rehearsal space looking for Emmett while the band was practising, and Emmett excused himself to go and speak to her. Luke was livid. He managed to keep his cool for the rest of the session, but as soon as it ended he pulled Emmett aside.

“I don't want her here,” he said sharply. “And I don't want you planning your wedding when you're supposed to be working. Understand?”

“Sure, Luke,” Emmett said. His voice sounded placating but a bit distant, and Luke wondered for a moment if his patience was running thin as well.

For a couple of weeks they kept an uneasy truce. And then it happened again. Luke looked up from an extended guitar solo during one of their final practices to see a vaguely familiar figure among the others standing around at the back of the rehearsal hall. It took a few moments of disbelief to confirm that the figure was indeed Angela.

Luke stopped playing mid-note. “What is she doing here?” he said loudly.

On the stage around him, the rest of the band all paused, uncertain. Emmett looked at him, shot a glance at Angela, then took a step forward. “Sh, Luke, it's okay. She's just waiting – ”

“It’s not okay.” Luke was in no mood to be hushed. “I told you I don't want her here.”

“She's not interrupting, man, she's not in the way. Let's just keep going.”

Emmett’s attempt to downplay the affront enraged Luke. “No, we're not going to keep going. I told you – ”

“Keep it down, Luke.” Emmett stood close by now, one hand wrapped around Luke's upper arm and almost lifting him off his feet. “I said I'd take her to – ”

“I don't care what you told her!” Luke wrenched his arm, trying to tear it out of Emmett’s grip. “This is work, I'm in charge here, and I already told you I don't want that – that – ”

“That what?” Emmett hissed in Luke’s face. “You’d better watch what you say. Don't take it out on her just because – ”

They were struggling now, Emmett forcing Luke to the side of the stage, away from the others, and Luke still trying to yank his arm out of Emmett's grasp, his voice growing louder and more venomous the more Emmett tried to quiet him.

“Why shouldn't I?” Luke raged. “She's the one that – ”

“That's enough! Don't talk about her like that – or – ”

“Or what, Em? Or what?” Luke finally freed his arm, and used both hands to throw all of his weight against Emmett's chest. “What are you going to do? Hit me?”

The shove had no impact on Emmett at all, but the words did. In a sudden motion he seized Luke by the front of his shirt, lifting him off the ground, and pushed him up against the wall behind them. “Stop it. Stop it.”

Strangely, infuriatingly, Luke still felt no fear. Even with his feet dangling inches from the floor and Emmett’s biceps taut, strained with tension, it was impossible to feel any sense of danger. He tried to strike Emmett's chest again, with his fists this time, but he couldn't reach; Emmett was holding him at a distance that was too far for either of them to do any damage.

“Let me go,” Luke seethed, digging his fingers into Emmett's forearms.

Emmett's eyes were dark and wide, like he couldn't believe any of this was happening. After a frozen second, he dropped Luke, wheeled around and strode away, toward the back of the room.

For a moment Luke's vision blurred; he slumped against the wall and reached up unseeingly to pull down the front of his shirt. When his sight returned, he realized Pete and Gordon were standing beside him.

“Are you okay?” Pete asked, sounding baffled.

Luke nodded. Far away, across the room from them, Emmett was walking out the door, Angela casting a look back at the band and then following slowly behind him.

“Want me to…should I go after him?” Gordon asked quietly.

“It don't matter.” Luke glanced around the large space, remembering there was a small lounge room just off the main hall, beside the stage. “Tell the guys we're done for today.”

He headed over to the smaller room, not looking behind him. There was no point trying to continue working. He just needed time to pull himself together before he drove home.

The lounge held a small sofa and a couple of chairs. Luke threw himself onto his back on the couch and covered his eyes with his hand. After a few minutes he heard quiet footsteps coming into the room.

“How are you doing?” Laura asked.

He shrugged, not moving his hand, not sure he wanted her company.

“That looked a little scary.” Her voice was concerned and uncertain.

“It wasn't,” he said shortly.

It sounded like she'd taken the chair across from him. “I guess things have been tough for you lately,” she went on. “Are you sure you're…safe?”

“I'm always safe with him.”

He heard more footsteps just then – slow, heavy ones, approaching the room from outside. In a moment Luke was on his feet, eyes focused on the door. Laura looked confused at first, then recognized the same sound and stood up as well.

“Luke,” Emmett said in a low voice, looming in the doorway.

Laura looked from Luke to Emmett and back again. “Should I stay? Or…”

“It's okay, Laura,” Luke said. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

She went out, putting a hand lightly on Emmett's forearm as she passed him. When she was gone, Luke looked down and away, feeling Emmett’s gaze on him.

“I'm so sorry, Luke.”

Luke was suddenly exhausted. Was it relief, or resignation, or something in between? He dropped back onto the couch. “It's okay.”

“You were completely right. You're in charge of rehearsals and you told me you didn't want Angela here.”

“Why did she…”

“She's got a checkup at the hospital, I told her I'd take her. She just got here a bit early and didn't know it would be a big deal to wait inside. I'm sorry, I should have told her.”

Luke sighed. It all sounded so reasonable. He reached out, and Emmett came over to take his hands. “I guess I gave away my real feelings to everyone, huh,” Luke mumbled.

“It's okay, man…I think they already knew.”

“I'm sorry I over-reacted.” But the words were mechanical; Luke was mostly wondering how he'd face the rest of the band the next day. “Let's go – ”

Emmett broke in gently. “I still have to take her to the appointment, I just had to talk to you first. I'll see you at home after, okay?”

They walked back through the rehearsal space together, Luke with an arm around Emmett's waist mainly for the benefit of anyone who might be left to see them. Probably way too late to stop the gossip anyway, he thought indifferently.

At the building entrance they met Angela, a small, stylish, attractive woman with black hair and dark skin that matched Emmett's. She gave Luke a curious glance and frowned a bit at Emmett.

“I'm gonna go get the car,” Emmett said. “Just wait here and I'll pick you up, Ange.”

Luke instinctively put up his face for the quick peck Emmett usually left him with, then realized his mistake and quickly turned away. When Emmett headed off to the parking lot Luke realized his second mistake – missing the chance to go with him to get his own car. Now he was stuck here alone with Angela, and his face reddened a little as he thought of what she must have seen, if not heard.

“So, uh, sorry for that weird – ” he began awkwardly.

Angela cut him off, getting up from the bench she'd been resting on. “It's all right,” she said evenly. “I know you don't like me.”

“Well, I – ” Luke started, giving what was meant to be an offhand wave, and then petered off.

“We don't have to be enemies. I just need to borrow him for a little while. To get through this.” She gestured toward her expanded belly. “Then you can have him back.”

Luke stared at her. “Em said he never…”

“He didn't need to tell me. I know he's yours.”

Before Luke could respond, Emmett pulled up with a honk of the car horn. Angela walked over and got in, Emmett waved, and the two of them drove away.