The next day Emmett bumped into Luke at the club they were playing that night. This was their second night in the same location so no need for a sound-check; the guys drifted between the hotel and the venue all day. Emmett went over to drop off his newly-pressed suit for the night, then wandered into the empty greenroom, wondering if anything was left over from the lunch spread. He was snacking on grapes and crackers when Luke came in, apparently on the same mission.

“Oh hey Em,” Luke said, glancing around the room. “Any of that apple pie left?”

No doubt he was checking to see if they were alone, and would find an excuse to leave now he knew they were. Emmett didn't mean to let that happen today.

Against his usual policy, he'd taken a long time to follow up on this strange awkwardness with Luke. At first he just hadn't noticed the gradual change in Luke's behaviour, and when he did start to suspect something he doubted himself because the change was inconsistent. At times he'd catch Luke watching him with that familiar look of affection and diffidence, or they'd grab each other backstage after a show in a moment of giddy excitement, just like old times. But those moments slowly became less frequent, and when Emmett looked back it seemed like things had been different for a long time.

Even then he didn't think too much of it; he didn't doubt Luke's love or loyalty for a moment. Perhaps it was just that Luke was a big name now, and so many people wanted a piece of him. Luke himself had an open heart and a genuine interest in other people, and on this tour he was constantly surrounded by folks who were even more interested in him. It seemed only natural that he might have less time for his old pals. Emmett didn't mind taking a back seat for a while, letting his friend have this moment in the sun that he'd been working toward for so long.

It took quite a while to conclude that Luke wasn't just busy, he was actively distancing himself from Emmett – at least offstage. He didn't exactly avoid Emmett; they were often together in groups and got along just like always. But the two of them were almost never alone together now, and even more strangely, Luke seemed to avoid physical contact with him. They still sat together on bus rides, but Luke spoke less, asked fewer questions, focused the conversation more on work, and kept his body apart from Emmett's; often he just leaned his head against the seat back, shut his eyes and rode in silence.

When Emmett was finally sure something was up, his instinct, as always, was to confront Luke and resolve whatever the problem was. But this time he’d hesitated. Luke had so much going on, so many complications to deal with already. Surely he didn't need one more hassle from his friend. Okay, maybe Emmett was a little hurt, but for once, couldn't he let things ride for a while, and see if they'd work themselves out?

So he did. He left Luke alone and busied himself with other people – women, mostly, and the rest of the band. He missed his old easy intimacy with Luke but, after all, that couldn't be forced.

A couple of nights back, the guys had all been in his hotel room as usual, playing cards, and Luke had stopped by as well, which was also not especially unusual. In the large crowd of people, Luke had chatted a bit with Emmett, telling a story about a group of fans from the night before. Somehow during the story everyone else in the room decided to head out for dinner, which Luke didn't notice until suddenly, as he ended the story in a gale of laughter, he seemed to look around and realize for the first time that he and Emmett were alone. The laugh ended abruptly, and an odd, guilty look replaced it. He mumbled something about joining the others and quickly disappeared.

That's when Emmett had decided enough was enough.

Now he swallowed quickly and pointed at one of the trays. “No, but there's cherry.”

To his surprise, Luke lingered over the table and then came to stand beside him with his plate. Emmett had stationed himself by the door so he could intercept Luke if necessary. He opened his mouth to speak, but Luke beat him to it.

“Listen, thanks for having my back yesterday,” Luke said. “I really needed the help.”

“No problem,” Emmett said automatically.

“I thought the guys were going to revolt.”

“Naw, man, they just needed time to adjust. It's great we're gonna keep touring. That's good money for all of us.”

“I know it's a long time away from home.”

“Beats working.”

They laughed, and Luke finished off his slice of pie. “Well,” he said, setting down the plate, “better get back to…”

“Did I do something?”

“What?” Luke froze mid-turn.

“Did I do something,” Emmett repeated clearly. He waited while Luke adjusted to this new topic.

“Why would you ask that? Of course not. What's goin' on, man?”

Luke's attempt at baffled innocence was not convincing. Emmett found himself slightly annoyed.

“You know why I'm asking. And I wish I knew what was going on. Why don't you tell me?”

This time Luke looked away for a moment without speaking. “I ain't sure I know what you're referring to,” he said slowly. As Emmett started to shake his head in exasperation, Luke suddenly grabbed his arm. “C'mere,” he said more gently, pulling him over to a couch on the other side of the room.

The small gesture and the pause in conversation gave Emmett time to cool down. Luke wasn't dismissing or avoiding him; maybe he just needed time to explain.

They sat facing each other on the couch, Emmett trying to be patient, Luke shifting uncomfortably under his gaze.

After a moment, Luke picked up Emmett's hand and said hesitantly, “Don't be mad, Em, I ain't tryin' to play dumb. Maybe I just am dumb.” He gave his short, abashed laugh, the one that always stopped abruptly as though he suddenly feared no one else was laughing. “But why would you think you did something wrong?”

“I don't. I don't think I did anything wrong. But I don't know why else you'd avoid me for almost a year. Did you just decide you…” Emmett waved his hand, hardly able to come up with another scenario. “…You don't like me anymore?”

Luke dropped Emmett’s hand and leaned back against the couch, facing the middle distance. “I don't avoid you.”

“Okay, you avoid being alone with me.” Emmett caught Luke’s quick side glance. “That's it, isn't it? You don't want to be alone with me.”

“I'm just…trying to give you space.”

Emmett’s eyes grew round in confusion. “Space? What do you mean, space? Why would I need space?”

Luke sighed. “I didn't want to cramp your style.”

The unexpectedness made Emmett laugh, disbelievingly. “You'd better explain yourself, boy,” he warned, only half kidding.

“I didn't mean nothin'. It was stupid, I was just being dumb.”

“That's it? You're telling me you made me crazy for a year because you're dumb?”

This time they both laughed, and in another moment, Luke had thrown his arms around Emmett's neck, burying his face in Emmett's shoulder.

It was impossible to stay angry. Emmett folded his arms around Luke's back and let him rest there. The way Luke fitted himself against his body, the weight on his chest, the sense of protecting something precious in his arms; all the old familiar feelings rushed back. He turned his head to press his lips against Luke's cheek.

When Luke finally sat up again, Emmett loosened his grip but didn't let go. “You know I love you, brother.”

“Love you too, Em.” Luke brushed the back of his hand against his eye impatiently. “I didn't mean to make you crazy.”

“I still don't understand, though.”

“Fuck, man. You said you wanted to find a new girl, a wife maybe. I thought I better leave you alone ’cause when we hang out sometimes…well, stuff happens.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Emmett frowned. “You mean, like, making out? What we do? Listen, Luke…I love messing around with you, but that's not gonna stop me from meeting chicks.”

“I know. I mean, now. I know now.”

“It's not the same thing. It's two different things.” Emmett didn't know how else to explain; it seemed self-evident to him. “Like, I can't marry you.”

Luke laughed. “I know.”

“Anyway, even if we didn’t fool around anymore, if we didn't want to…you wouldn't need to avoid being alone with me. We can hang out whatever way we want.”

“I know. You're right.” Luke nodded rapidly, a mix of embarrassment and relief. “I told you, it was stupid.”

“It took you a year to figure that out?”

“It took you to figure it out for me. Man, what a waste of time. I been missing you, Em.”

“Like I missed you. Don't do that again, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. I got it.”

Emmett stood up and hauled Luke to his feet. It was a relief to feel Luke's body against his own again – not just when they hugged then, but the regular, casual touch of hands, shoulders, hips, legs that resumed afterward; the leaning, brushing, nudging, elbowing. That was the natural way of things – offstage, like it was onstage.

“What'd you come over here for anyway?” Luke asked, as they headed back to the catering table together.

“To drop off my suit for tonight. Hey, man, how come you never do a wardrobe check on me?”

“Don't need to. You always look fly.”

“That's cause I listen to José.”

***

Soon after the extended tour began, Luke called Emmett's hotel room late in the evening after a show.

“You alone?” he asked first.

“Yeah, sure.” Emmett understood what Luke meant. He hadn't brought any company back that night, which he suspected Luke knew as they'd returned to the hotel together after a bit of decompression at the venue. Now that they no longer travelled at night, both Emmett and Luke tried to manage the inevitable crash from performance high to melancholy exhaustion by spending a bit of time backstage after a show, reliving concert highlights and lowlights with the crew and whoever else was around. It usually worked, but perhaps tonight Luke needed more.

“Didn't wake you, did I?”

“Naw, I was just going to bed.”

There was a pause, then Luke said, “Can I come by?”

“Sure.” Emmett smiled to himself as he hung up. He finished getting ready for bed and waited for the knock on his door. When he opened it, Luke stood outside in clean post-show jeans and a t-shirt, looking a little sheepish. Emmett stepped back to let him in, then went over to his bed and pulled back the covers, exactly as he'd been about to do.

“You, uh, upgraded…” Luke said, gesturing at Emmett's new burgundy silk pajama bottoms.

“Yeah.” Emmett climbed into bed and leaned against the headboard, looking at Luke. “I buy my own now.”

Luke chuckled a little and moved restlessly around the small room. There was nowhere to sit besides the bed, so Emmett waited for the inevitable. But Luke seemed hesitant.

After a minute Emmett moved over and patted the covers beside him. “C'mon over here. What's on your mind?”

“Just…keyed up, can't sleep.” Luke accepted the invitation quickly. He perched on the side of the bed, then swung his feet up to lean against the headboard beside Emmett.

“No shoes on my sheets. Take 'em off,” Emmett directed. “It was a great show tonight, no major disasters, nothing to keep you awake. Did you try having a drink?” He wondered if Luke needed him because he couldn't sleep, or couldn't sleep because he needed him. Either way, his own job was clear.

“A couple.” Luke kicked off one shoe and then the other. “Didn't help. I was just thinking ’bout when we were making the last record…”

Emmett leaned over to turn off the lamp beside his bed. “C'mon, man…take off your clothes and get in here.”

Luke didn't need to be told twice. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, threw it aside, and sat up to push his jeans down to the floor, slightly unsteadily. Emmett could see the effect of those drinks now. He lifted the covers and tossed them over Luke as he slid under. In a moment they had fitted themselves together just as they used to do, Emmett curled around Luke with an arm over his side. Luke lifted his face to peck Emmett's cheek and they looked at each other for a moment.

“Think you'll be able to sleep here?” Emmett asked.

“Um…maybe.” Luke half-chuckled with a kind of guilty satisfaction, like a small boy getting away with something. He shifted restlessly then turned toward Emmett again. “You know, Em, I think I might be what they call a bisexual.”

“Yeah?”

“Um…what about you?”

“I think I like you a lot.”

Luke smiled at that, then lowered his voice conspiratorially. “I might just have a little…tiny…crush on you.”

Emmett tried not to laugh. “Oh, really?”

“You ain't mad, are you?”

“Nope.” Emmett tightened his arm reassuringly, which was apparently all the encouragement Luke needed. He kissed Emmett again, on the lips this time, and Emmett didn't have to be persuaded. They made out for a while, like they used to do in the tent back in the studio days, leisurely, mouth on mouth, or jaw or throat, hands on each other's back or face.

It all seemed rather innocent to Emmett at first, a bit sweet; he wasn't worried that it might take them somewhere complicated. As long as their hands stayed above the waist, which seemed to be the unspoken agreement, he thought this was more a form of closeness and comfort than desire. He enjoyed it, and it would help Luke sleep, so why not?

When Luke's hands started to reach down to the top of his pajama pants, Emmett moved them away, and at first Luke obeyed the implicit instruction. His hands slid up Emmett's back to the shoulder blades, then around to the front, stroking his chest and the space between his ribs. Emmett understood that Luke had always found his body intriguing; he turned onto his back to make the exploration easier. Luke's touch on his skin felt good, but surely this was just slightly tipsy curiosity.

Luke paused and raised himself up a little. “I…really want to look after you like you looked after me,” he whispered.

“Nope,” Emmett said. He leaned over to kiss Luke's mouth. “Let's stick to this.”

Luke lowered his head and ran his hands along the sides of Emmett's chest and ribs, then started to make his way slowly downward. This was starting to feel a little less innocent. Luke was not sticking to their agreement at all, but despite his words Emmett didn’t want him to; he wrapped his arms around Luke's back, slowing his downward momentum but not stopping it, and watched with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

The movement stopped. Lying on top of Emmett now, Luke could obviously feel his arousal. He reached for the pajama waistband again, gently. “Please…”

Emmett's mind whirled with indecision. He slid his hands over top of Luke's, holding them still. “You're just…curious,” he managed.

“Ohhh…yeah.” Luke's whisper was a half-laughing, half-embarrassed admission that left Emmett more confounded than ever. If he let Luke finish exploring, would that be the end of it? Would it make things more complicated later or less? Would it help Luke get to sleep? It was so hard to think. How did he best take care of this boy in his arms? Surely, surely, letting him do what they both wanted couldn't be a bad thing?

Emmett released his hold and in an instant Luke's hands were pulling down the front of his pajama pants and reaching inside. One hand closed around Emmett's cock, then shifted a couple of times, as though weighing the heft and experimenting to find the best grip. Emmett arched up into the touch and shut his eyes in anticipation. Luke's grip felt good – maybe better than a woman's; stronger and more confident. This wasn't going to take long. Then the hand disappeared, and a moment later a warm wetness enveloped his dick.

“Luke –” Emmett's eyes flew open. This wasn't our agreement, he wanted to say, but couldn't quite get it out. He reached down and caught Luke's hair in his hands, then hastily let go lest he exert too much pressure. Luke did not seem to be a stranger to this new activity; he brought Emmett to full hardness quickly and then took his time, building intensity slowly, occasionally switching from mouth to hand and back again. When Emmett neared his climax he reached for Luke again to warn him, but Luke made no effort to pull away, only tightened his grip on Emmett's hips, until it was over and Emmett fell back on the bed.

“Sweet Jesus, Luke.” Emmett didn't have the strength to sound as forceful as he meant to. He wrapped his arms around Luke, who was sliding back up his chest. “That was…” he started, then gave up trying to speak.

Luke kissed Emmett's mouth before sliding down on to the bed beside him. Emmett turned, curled his body around Luke's, threw an arm over him, and fell asleep almost immediately.

***

In the morning Emmett woke early, as usual, and immediately remembered the night before. He glanced over to see Luke asleep in the bed beside him. Well, he must have managed to get to sleep at some point.

Emmett slipped out of bed and quietly called room service to order breakfast: full American for him, toast and eggs for Luke; they knew each other's routines by now.

By the time the food arrived, Luke was awake and sitting up in bed. “Mornin’, Em,” he drawled.

“Morning, El,” Emmett said, bringing the trays over.

“Uh…thanks for last night.”

“No problem,” Emmett said without thinking, then laughed at himself. “I should thank you. Sorry I passed out right afterward. Man, how'd you get so good at that?”

Luke smiled cryptically. “Instinct?”

It was hard to know whether to believe him or not, but Emmett didn't pry. They sat side by side on the bed, working on their meals. “Did you get to sleep okay after I did?”

“Yep.”

“How come you couldn't sleep earlier, anyway?”

“Curiosity.” Luke said it with a little smirk, and for a moment Emmett was amused. Then he felt a sudden spark of irritation, an old grudge somehow linked to that word and older memories.

“You curious about Gordie too?”

For a second Luke stared at him, baffled. Emmett regretted his words immediately, but it was too late; Luke's expression turned to understanding, and then hurt.

“No.” Luke looked like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. “Never once thought of him that way.”

“Sorry.”

“What have I ever done to make you think… ”

“Nothing. I was just being stupid.”

“Well – your turn I guess.”

The mood had soured in an instant. Emmett wished he could turn back time. “I didn't mean it, Lukey. I'm sorry.”

They ate in silence for a couple of minutes. Then Luke reached over to squeeze Emmett's thigh. “People been curious about you that way before I guess. That's why you asked.”

Emmett didn't really want to talk about it, but wasn't he the one who brought it up? “Yeah.”

“The chicks backstage…?”

“Some of ’em.” Emmett shot Luke a sideways glance. “Some of ’em just want to meet you. Either way, I avoid those ones.”

“I bet.” Luke chewed on his toast, then spoke without looking at Luke. “Guys too?”

Emmett paused. “Some. In college.” He knew what Luke wanted to ask but didn't quite dare. To forestall further discussion, he got up, grabbing their trays and taking them out to the hall. When he came back into the room, Luke was on the edge of the bed, pulling on his jeans.

“Listen, Em…” Luke said, looking up with his t-shirt in his hands. “We ain't gotta do this if you don't wanna.”

“I like it.”

“I know I can be pushy. You can just tell me to fuck off.”

“Why would I do that?” Emmett came over to sit beside him. “I told you, I like it.”

“You never start nothin’ though,” Luke said lightly. He pulled his shirt over his head and reached for his shoes while Emmett considered.

“That doesn't mean I don't think about it.” That was the truth; he did think about it. It just never occurred to him to do something about it, the way Luke did.

“So next time you think about it, call me.” Luke pecked Emmett's cheek, waved and was on his way.