“Sure,” Luke said, ushering the kids toward the front door. “You practise real hard and get good enough, you can join the B-Sides when you're older.”

“I'm pretty good already.” Robbie pulled on his coat and started hunting for his hat and mittens. “I got a recital next week – you should come and see me, Uncle Luke!”

“Yeah, alright, I will, if it's okay with your mom.” Luke shot a glance at Emmett over the top of Robbie's head. “And your dad.”

Emmett nodded at him with a smile, handing a pair of mittens to Robbie.

“What about me?” Walt demanded. “Can't I be in the band too?”

“Well, maybe when Leo retires,” Luke suggested. “I don't think we need two drummers.”

“Maybe you do!”

“Okay, Wally, let's get your boots on,” Emmett said, trying to keep them on track. “Mama will be here in a minute.”

A car horn honking outside Emmett's apartment told them she had already arrived, and they quickly finished bundling up the boys. Luke gave them both hugs and Emmett took them out to Clarissa's car while Luke set about straightening up from the whirlwind impact of the kids' weekend visit.

They'd been back in Philly for almost six months now. For once Luke had decided not to rush into a new album immediately. He had plenty of songs ready, and had booked a few days at Forge here and there, but was content with a slower process this time around, enjoying the relative peace of domestic life. The new album would likely be finished sometime in the spring, and then they could think about another tour, perhaps in the fall.

In the meantime, Luke had moved to a slightly larger and nicer apartment, while Emmett opted to stay in his original bachelor pad, though he spent a lot of time at Luke's place. At some point, soon after they got back, Luke had floated the idea of moving in together as “room-mates”, which Emmett vetoed on publicity grounds. “It's not 1960s Hollywood,” he said. “People aren't going to pretend they don't know what's going on.”

Luke couldn’t argue with that, and it didn't matter much since they were always together anyway – except when Emmett had the kids. Robbie and Walt were too young to understand, and Emmett didn't want to upset Clarissa either, so there were no sleep-overs when they were around. This time Luke had kept away for a couple of days before meeting up with the three of them for a Flyers game on the boys' last day.

“Don't worry about all that,” Emmett said, coming back into the room and lowering himself into his armchair. “We can clean up tomorrow when I'm not so bushed.”

“That mean we're sleepin' here tonight?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, I'm too beat to go out again. Man, those kids take it out of me. Don't know how Clarissa does it.”

“I guess you want a drink.” Luke went over to the cabinet where Emmett kept his liquor.

“Sure do. I've been dry for three days,” Emmett said. Clarissa didn't like him drinking while the boys were with him.

Luke brought Emmett's highball over to him, then knelt on the floor in front of his chair, as had become his custom.

“You better be careful what you tell Robbie, man,” Emmett said, leaning down to kiss Luke. “He's gonna be expecting a job with you by the time he's eighteen.”

“Might not be so bad,” Luke countered. “We could use a saxophone.”

Emmett laughed and pulled Luke up onto his lap to share the drink and make out. They'd taken the boys for dinner after the game so there wasn't much left for them to do except go to bed.

“Hey, Em,” Luke said, after a few minutes of languid kissing, resting in Emmett's arms.

“Yeah?”

“You ever think…it'd be nice if we could just live like this all the time?”

“What, here?”

“Well, maybe at my place. Or a new place with an extra room for the boys…”

Emmett stroked Luke's back. “I wish we could, man. But you understand – ”

“I know. I know. It ain't possible. You think it ever might be?”

“Sometimes I worry you want too much from the world, Luke. I don't see that happening in our lifetimes. If anything, we should be figuring out what we're gonna do when we get tired of this.”

Luke nuzzled at Emmett's throat. “What makes you think we're gonna get tired of it?”

“You wanna live in our little apartments forever, sneaking around and having sleep-overs?”

“We ain't really sneaking around.”

Emmett was silent for a moment, his arms still wrapped around Luke. “You ever think about…having a family? Don't you want kids some day?”

“I mean…yeah, some day. I love your kids but – ”

“You're welcome to share ’em.”

“Thanks, man. But yeah, I'd like to have my own one day.”

“So how do you figure we're going to do that?”

“I dunno. There's ways, I guess. But that's for later. I'm happy how things are right now, ain't you?”

“Yep.” Emmett kissed Luke one more time on the mouth. “I know it's early, but let's go to bed.”

Emmett still slept in his living room, as he reserved the apartment's single bedroom for the boys, but the mattress on the floor had been replaced with a full-sized bed, and Luke had talked him into forgoing the pajamas on nights when they were together.

“Can I start unbuttoning?” Luke asked, sidling over to Emmett as they stood up. By now they'd tried many variations of Emmett's rules, and while Luke enjoyed them all, he was pretty sure that Emmett's favourite was just being asked for permission each step of the way.

“You don't have any buttons,” Emmett observed, giving him a critical once over.

“I mean you. Please.” Every now and again Emmett would refuse one of Luke's requests, at least initially, so Luke never took his approval for granted. He'd also learned to beg very prettily, in those cases, which was usually, but not always, effective.

“Hold on, man. Why don't you have buttons? Didn't I tell you I want you wearing nicer shirts?”

“For a hockey game? C'mon Em, I dressed okay. Look, this shirt even has a collar.”

“It's called a polo, Luke, you – ”

“Please, Em. It's been three days, I been very patient. Can I please just get you undressed and go down?”

“I thought we were going to bed first.”

“I figure this way you might not fall asleep right after and then maybe I'll get a turn for once.”

“Keep sassing me like that and someone's not getting a turn at all.”

They were both laughing, Luke in Emmett's arms, but after a few kisses and a bit more bantering, Luke asked again, earnestly, and this time got the permission he wanted.

Later, after they eventually made it to bed and both had their turns, they lay in the greyish dark, leaning against the wall of Emmett's living room and exchanging stories about their last few days. They weren’t quite ready to sleep, although by this time Luke had slightly adjusted his schedule to be more in sync with Emmett's.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Luke asked after a lull.

“Yep.”

“How come you still won't…you know.”

“What? Won't what?” But Emmett looked like he kind of knew what Luke meant.

“Fuck.”

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“Aw, man. You're bringing that up again.”

“You said we could talk about it,” Luke reminded him.

“We do fuck though.”

“Not like that.”

“You not satisfied, Lukey?”

“I'm real satisfied.” Luke gave his sheepish laugh, turning his face onto Emmett's shoulder. “But that don't mean I never wanna try somethin’ new.”

“New for us or for you? You ever do it before?”

“No. Never.” There was a pause. “You did?”

Emmett looked away for a moment, then back. “Yeah, I have. Not – I mean, I've done it to guys. No one's done it to me.”

“Well, I mean…I ain't askin' to do it to you. But why can't you do me?”

“Jeeze, Luke. It's not as easy as you think.”

“Can't be that hard, lotsa guys do it.”

“Sure, but the first time is…I mean, it can hurt a lot. And it doesn't always feel good right away.”

Luke pulled his head back to look up at Emmett. “You did it with those guys in college, right? Your boys.”

“A few of them. Not all.”

“You have some kinda bad experience?”

“Yeah, actually…I did. I didn't really know what I was doing and – well, some of them didn't either.”

“So, what, you worried about hurting me?”

“Of course I am.” Emmett stopped and sighed. “If someone doesn't know what they're doing it can be dangerous. One of my boys ended up in hospital, bleeding…I don't ever want to go through that with you. And imagine if you had to put out some kind of statement about why you're in the hospital.”

That was all hard to argue with. Luke frowned, listening to Emmett’s words and trying to find some way in. “So it's because I ain't experienced.”

“Neither of us has enough experience.”

“But if we take it real slow and careful…”

“I already know I'm not good at being someone's first time.”

Luke tried flattery. “I know you're big, man, but you're real good at taking things slow and gentle…”

“You think I wasn't slow and gentle with them?”

For the first time Emmett's voice was slightly heated. Luke decided he wasn't getting anywhere and thought it might be best to drop the subject, at least for now. He changed to a more playful tone. “You know, you're way more experienced than I thought you were,” he said, giving Emmett a little nudge. “I used to think you were a total straight-ass, a good mama's boy that only ever fooled around with the girl you married. And now it turns out you're the one who’s tried everything.”

“Yeah, well, people will surprise you, won't they?”

“You do. I ever surprise you, Em?”

“Every damn day.”

***

Although he wasn't working quite as relentlessly as he had in the past, Luke was always thinking about his music, the band, and his future. Sometime over the winter he came to a decision, and hunted down the singer he'd met previously, Laura. It turned out she was still working in town, so he dropped by one of her shows.

“Wow, you're a big deal now,” she said, over a beer at the end of her set. “Thanks for coming to see me.”

“I love your voice,” he told her honestly. “What's your plans from here?”

It turned out she didn't have many concrete career plans, so he asked her to meet with him the following week. Laura was about his age – early 30s, now – and a songwriter and guitarist as well as a trained vocalist. She was easy to talk to, attractive, receptive to his ideas, and seemed to like him as well. All in all, Luke thought she'd fit right in with the band.

Once he was sure of her, he had a long talk with Eddie. It was a strange conversation – as Luke thought to himself afterward, it wasn't really clear who was firing who, or who was quitting and who was letting go. All Luke knew for sure was that it was time. The conversation, inevitably, created some tension, but Luke did his best to be clear about how much he loved Eddie and always would, and about his commitment to be there whenever Eddie needed something from him.

After all that, Luke asked Eddie to work with him on the next album anyway. He'd been tempted to finish the album first and then have this conversation, but he knew, on some level, that wouldn't be fair. Best to make sure they both knew where they stood first. Eddie scoffed at the request initially but eventually, after enough badgering and pleading, agreed to help out in the studio even though he wouldn't be joining them for the tour afterwards.

When Luke filled Emmett in on all of this, Emmett promptly called Eddie and the two of them went out for a drink without him. Luke understood, and didn't ask to be included. Later, after Luke had finalized everything with Laura, Emmett wanted to meet her, so the three of them had dinner together. By the time they all met up in the studio, Emmett was more comfortable with both Eddie and Laura than Luke was.

In the spring of 1982, they started work on the new album in earnest. Luke's song-writing had continued to evolve, and his songs now combined the fiery boldness of Saving Grace with punchy melodies and captivating narratives to create driving, sometimes bombastic anthems with catchy hooks. Luke was fairly sure he'd have another hit on his hands.

The record came out in early summer and was an immediate sensation. This was the big one. Luke and the band were almost instantly catapulted into a level of fame and success he'd never even considered. Luke Clarkston, champion of the blue-collar everyman, was suddenly everywhere – on television and radio, newspaper and magazine covers, car radios and record stores. Singles vaulted to the top of the hit charts and stayed there for weeks or months; the band's first video went into heavy rotation at MTV. Album sales records were broken; royalties poured in. All summer long, Luke heard his songs every time he turned on the TV or his car stereo or walked down the street – something he soon had to stop doing as the number of people accosting him started to create traffic jams, and the local police complained.

Life became chaotic. Jerry and the record label both had full teams focused on making the most of this moment. The label had PR firms, media specialists and publicists; Jerry brought in financial advisors, accountants, more lawyers and money men. They set up a new company to handle Luke's growing catalogue of songs, copyrights and royalties. An entire logistics crew was working with a dedicated tour manager to plan the upcoming tour.

Most days Luke followed a relentless schedule of media interviews and appearances set by the record label, fielding phone calls from Jerry at many of the stops and spending hours on the phone with him every evening. The rest of the band had their own schedules to follow, though none quite as hectic as Luke's. He had to hire an assistant for Janie, and Janie had to find him both a new apartment and a security company to protect it.

It grew harder to spend time with Emmett, but Emmett enjoyed the success and encouraged Luke to ride it out. “It's not going to last forever,” he'd say, “So do whatever you need to while you can. I'll still be here when you're done.”

The promotional tour kicked off in late fall. Like the previous one, it would last about a year and include stops in Europe as well as North America. But that was the only similarity. Everything else about this tour was on a whole different scale from anything they'd known before. The band flew to locations now, first-class and sometimes on private planes. They travelled with assistants, stylists, wardrobe managers, PR reps, caterers, instrument techs, drivers, and personal security; they were chauffeured everywhere in limos, and stayed in full-sized hotel suites.

And they played night after night to tens of thousands of people, in football stadiums, civic centres and coliseums. Often they played four to six shows at the same location, and almost every show sold out. Construction crews would travel in advance to build full sets for them at the stadiums and coliseums; the custom stage was so large, Gordon and Emmett could barely see each other from their respective stations.

Luke could hardly believe the size of the crowds, but he didn't have much chance to think about things. Without Eddie, he and Laura had to cover all the guitar parts in all the songs, and they'd only had a month or so to rehearse. They were still scrambling to divvy up and learn Eddie's parts after the tour started, as Luke found he needed to work harder to manage the massive crowds, and sometimes couldn't focus on the guitar lines as well. Vocally, Laura was everything Luke wanted – he could duet with her on some songs, and rely on her for consistent harmonies and backup for the others. Emmett continued to add some backup vocals, but there was no way he would have been able to replace Eddie completely while also managing his own instruments.

The switch from Eddie to Laura altered the band dynamic in some ways. As Luke had expected, the introduction of a woman into the historically all-male band had an impact, with some fans – especially the women – responding warmly to her, and others seeming put out. Luke figured that if he ruffled a few feathers, it meant he was doing his job. Internally, the impact wasn't as dramatic, since the old days of shared hotel rooms and late-night carousing had passed; band members barely saw each other outside of performing now, and many of them travelled with wives or families anyway. Luke often missed Eddie, but he enjoyed his blossoming friendship with Laura.

Of course, the biggest change of all was that Luke had become an actual rock star – a superstar, an A-list celebrity – seemingly overnight. He could no longer go to a bar or a restaurant, or even outside his hotel, without attracting crowds. At airports he was whisked off for individual VIP screenings; hotel restaurants led him to private dining rooms; if he wanted to go shopping, Janie set up special after-hours appointments for him. Now, in addition to the usual industry receptions and cocktail parties, there was a sudden flood of invitations to exclusive events – everything from high-class charity balls to private parties hosted by other major celebrities.

Luke found it overwhelming and a bit absurd, but he was human enough to enjoy the attention, at least at first. He saw how easily this could all go to his head, and again felt a relief at having Emmett to keep him in line. The problem was that he found it increasingly difficult to spend any time alone with Emmett. In fact, it was hard to find time alone at all – even his hotel suite hosted a constant stream of occupants, from Janie and her assistant, to Jerry and his endless advisors and associates, to stylists and hairdressers. If he escaped to Emmett's suite he'd meet yet more people – personal trainers, tailors, assistants, Emmett's many friends or family members, and, occasionally, strange women. Only late at night, when the hotel was finally quiet and the guests had all left, were they able to find each other alone.

“I don't know what I was thinkin’,” Luke said, in Emmett's arms at last, “not tellin’ ’em to make sure our rooms are on the same floor.”

“You can't tell them that!” Emmett protested, laughing. “How would you explain it?”

“Why should I explain? Last week in Chicago we were in different fucking wings. How am I supposed to get back to my room in the morning without running in to people?”

“Yeah, we probably shouldn't try it when we're that far away from each other. It's okay, gives us a chance to hang out with other people.”

“I don't wanna spend the night with other people.”

“Me neither, man, but we have to once in a while or people will talk.”

“Let ’em talk.”

“You know you don't always have to be a rebel. It's not hard to just keep up appearances.”

“I keep up appearances, I always find a date for events just like you tell me to.”

“Yeah, you're being very good about that. And it helps to have Laura – I was looking through some magazines and there's already a bunch of talk about you and her getting together.”

“Really?” Luke looked at Emmett in surprise. “Why would they say that? I ain't even dated her.”

“It's just a bunch of gossip, but that's good, it gives us some extra cover.”

“I guess it's ’cause we're always holed up together workin’ on our guitar parts. I hope she don't see all those stories.”

“You think she might get the wrong idea?”

“Oh, I ain't worried about that. You know, Em, I think she's figured out about you and me already.”

“That's because you're terrible at hiding it.”

“It's hard, man. Sometimes it feels like the whole world's out of control, and you're the only thing holding me together. But the more I need you, the harder it is to find you.”

“Aw, Luke.” Emmett pulled him in tighter and stroked his hair. “You'll be fine. You're a good man.”

“I'm a lucky man.”

“I'll always be here for you.”

“You better be.”