Things weren't turning out exactly how Emmett had expected. Instead of being alone or with Mary-Ann till she grew up, he was sharing his house with Robbie and Walt as well, at least temporarily. Rather than remaining single indefinitely, he'd met a kind woman at his gym and they often hung out for movies or dinner. And most unbelievably, the professional music career he'd assumed was over appeared to have resurrected. You just never knew about life, he often thought to himself.
One thing that hadn't surprised him was his renewed friendship with Luke. Somehow, he'd always known they'd figure it out again at some point. He just couldn't imagine a world where he and Luke were on the same planet and not eventually friends. Even Luke's slightly teary apology hadn't really been unexpected; Luke had always worked hard at relationships. What did make Emmett wonder a bit had been that hug after their conversation – not the physical contact, exactly, but the way it had lingered slightly, as though Luke hadn't wanted it to end.
Emmett often watched Luke and Laura together, when he happened to be with both of them. As far as he could tell, they seemed comfortable and content, like any couple. They weren't terribly demonstrative, but Luke always treated Laura courteously, consulted her on decisions or social invitations, and deferred to her on domestic matters. There was no reason to think he had anything besides real feelings for her – other than Emmett's nagging sense that Luke had been different with him, when they were involved.
In any case, Luke still seemed to treat him with a certain delicacy when they saw each other these days. Emmett couldn't tell if it was a lingering reserve from their long time apart, a fear of inadvertently giving the wrong impression, or something else altogether.
Much of that fall was spent preparing for the upcoming tour. In the end, Emmett recruited Walt, who had just completed a sound engineering program, to run Forge in his absence. He spent the next few months training his son while also working long hours in the studio to complete as many contracts as he could. But some of his most valued clients would still need work during the next year that Walt didn’t have the experience to handle.
Eventually, Emmett steeled himself to tell Luke he’d need more flexibility during the tour, a few breaks here and there when he could return home to take care of his own business. After so many years of accepting Luke’s absolute rule on band-related matters, asking him to compromise felt daring, almost dangerous. But Emmett figured he had to do this now, at the outset, if he wanted to maintain his own independence through the next phase of his life. When they finally had their discussion, Luke seemed surprised at first but adjusted quickly and after some quiet negotiation agreed to the concessions Emmett needed. Afterward, Emmett found himself almost exhilarated, as though he’d been taken seriously for the first time.
Angela agreed that Mary-Ann would travel with Emmett during the spring and fall, and stay with her for the summer. The Mountain Tops would carry on in some way without him, and he'd join them for occasional gigs when the tour took them close to home.
Luke duly consulted and everyone agreed that the tour would last just under a year, with one long break in the middle. It would cover the U.S., Canada and a handful of European countries, which would allow them to test the waters for latent interest in Luke and the re-formed band in various markets. Initial ticket sales seemed solid, but a lot would depend on reviews, the kind of energy they created on stage, and word of mouth.
Because of the uncertainty, this tour was planned much more conservatively than the last couple had been. They'd be travelling mostly by bus again, taking commercial flights only for longer distances; they'd play arenas and concert halls but not necessarily the largest stadiums; and band members had limited budgets for staff and support. Emmett and Luke arranged to share nannies and tutors for the three kids, and Emmett re-hired Diane, but he wouldn’t have dedicated hair, wardrobe and personal training assistance on this tour.
Rehearsals started in late November with a break over the holidays, and Luke made a visible effort to be receptive to input from the rest of the band as they worked on the live set list. As hype and anticipation for the tour grew, Emmett could see Luke's anxiety – how badly he wanted it to work, but how much he feared being viewed as a has-been or nostalgia act. Luke was especially concerned about the mix of new and old material, not wanting to cheat faithful fans out of their favourites but still determined to prove his relevancy.
For Emmett, working regularly with Robbie was novel and exciting. Luke tended to leave the two of them alone and treat Emmett as the leader of a kind of mini horn section, giving him the freedom to work out his son's parts along with his own, which was satisfying.
At the last minute, just before they got on the road, Emmett's new lady friend, Denise, offered to take a leave from her job and join the tour later on, to help out. Emmett was happy to accept her offer. Denise was easy-going and low drama; she got along well with Mary-Ann and the boys, and she'd already taken to maintaining Emmett's braids and providing style advice for his live appearances. Emmett wasn't in love with her – and vice versa, he was pretty sure – and they'd made no promises of exclusivity, but he enjoyed her company and appreciated the support. He was close to fifty now, and Denise only a couple of years younger, so he likely didn't need to worry about another inadvertent pregnancy.
The reunion tour finally kicked off in January of 1993, with a couple of performances on the band's own turf in Philly. Those shows were a triumph – an exultant homecoming for an adoring hometown fanbase – and set the stage for the rest of the tour, where night after night Luke and the band were met by boisterous, enthusiastic crowds that had apparently been waiting impatiently for six years. Even Luke seemed taken aback to find out how beloved they still were, and he responded to the crowd's outpouring of affection with an ever-increasing commitment and conviction of his own.
For Emmett, touring again took some getting used to. Parts of the process seemed harder now – he was older and slower, the bus rides less comfortable, the anonymous hotel rooms lonelier. But the live performances – those were the pay-off, from the very first show. The benefit concert had been a small reminder of life with the B-Sides, and he'd been playing consistently with his own loose ensemble, but Emmett had forgotten the magic of playing night after night with this tight group of lifelong friends who knew each note intimately and anticipated each other's every move, snapping back together like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.
Emmett, Luke and Laura made up the front line again, with Robbie close behind Emmett, Pete next to Gord’s piano, and Leo on drums behind Laura. It only struck Emmett when they were all on stage that with this lineup, the band – not counting Luke – was made up equally of Black and white folks. It felt odd not to be in a minority after all these years
Luke brought all his previous passion and heart to the new shows, but he had to adjust some of his old moves. He was still in good shape but even so, at forty-three, he couldn't quite manage his previous level of frenetic activity. Instead, he replaced it with a more controlled energy, a warm, inviting stage presence and a greater emphasis on audience interaction that built on the crowd's continual flow of goodwill. He seemed to take particular pleasure in introducing the band now – showcasing each individual member and the B-Sides as a whole as though to celebrate their return to his life every night.
It took a while for the two of them to find their footing together, on stage and off. Emmett tended to stay close to his station at first – he didn’t do much more than dance a few steps here and there, or move up a bit for his solos. Luke prowled the full length and width of the stage as he played, generally moving between Laura and Emmett. He'd often plant himself beside Emmett to assume a pose or share a mic, but they were both a bit too conscious of each other, a bit too cautious, to be entirely natural. There was no longer a little kiss during “Flaming Up”, and “Mountain Home” hadn't even made the set list.
To make matters worse, Luke continued to handle Emmett with a kind of diffidence, as if not wanting to let his guard down. Emmett thought he understood, and suspected they were both afraid of falling into their old patterns onstage – not just the constant physical contact but the familiarity and intimacy that might be more painful now. Luke's deference reminded him of his earliest days in the band, when Luke had always seemed half enthralled and half intimidated by him. It all made it harder for Emmett to loosen up.
The team had a kind of bus convoy for inter-city transportation – one bus for Luke, his family and their staff; two more for the rest of the band and their families; and several for the crew. On the first day, as they were loading up to leave Philadelphia, Luke quietly steered Emmett, Robbie, Mary-Ann and Diane over to his bus.
“Let's keep the kids together,” he said lightly.
For the first few trips they mostly stuck to their own families, but soon the kids were hanging out at the back of the bus, Diane and Janie talking shop, Laura and Robbie catching up – and sure enough, there was Luke swinging himself into Emmett's seat and settling down beside him.
***
“How's Mary-Ann finding life on the road?” Luke asked, smiling up at Emmett.
“Oh, she loves it. She says it's way better than school.”
“Yeah, that's what Jules says too.”
Luke didn't rest himself against Emmett's body like he used to, and it was daytime rather than the middle of the night, but it still felt a lot like old times, to be sharing a seat and chatting quietly with Luke on their way to another gig.
“What about Robbie? How's he liking it so far?”
Emmett laughed. “He says it's a lot more organized than his last tour. And comfortable.”
“Sure, of course, he's toured before.” Luke suddenly squeezed Emmett's forearm. “I can't tell you what a light he was for me out in Seattle.”
The momentary intensity surprised Emmett. “I'm glad it worked out.”
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“I feel like he was – what I most needed right then.” Luke shut his eyes for a moment, as though remembering.
“How are you finding him now?” Emmett asked, after a pause. “In the show? I'm doing my best to get him to fit in with our style…”
“He's fine. He don't need to fit in exactly, I kinda like that he's got his own sound. There's plenty of sax players that could copy you but they wouldn't add much to the band.”
“If you say so.”
Luke turned his head toward Emmett. “There's one thing I could use your help with, though.”
“Sure.”
“These crowds, they really love us – I could use some help channelling that energy, you know? I feel like it's the best thing we got going right now, the way the fans love us.”
“Sure, Luke, but what should I do?”
“I'd love it if you could step up with me sometimes, help me get the crowd going. And maybe keep the band on track while I'm out in the pit or whatever – sort of like Eddie used to do.”
“Well I'm not sure I can…”
“Don't act modest now, Em. I seen you with that band of yours. You can run a crowd and a band; I could use your help with both.”
Emmett didn't quite understand where this was coming from, but he had no objection. “Sure,” he said, “if that's what you want. I'll do my best.”
***
After that Emmett worked more closely with Luke during the live shows. When Luke stood on one side of the stage, working up the crowd, Emmett learned to take up position at the opposite end so they could each lead their own half in sing-alongs or chants. To his relief, the fans responded just as enthusiastically with him as they did with Luke, and soon he and Luke were facing off in playful competitions between their sections of the crowds.
Sometimes Luke would leave the stage, grabbing Emmett's hand to pull him along, so the two of them could run through the pit or the stands, slapping hands and hugging fans. Other times Luke would go out alone and leave Emmett to lead the band onstage, monitoring Luke's signals and keeping the rest of the band in sync. Once in a while Luke would nudge Emmett and whisper a word, then turn to face fans seated behind the stage while Emmett managed the ones in the front, or head backstage for a mini breather and leave Emmett in charge of the whole show. The rest of the band soon accepted Emmett as Luke's second in command.
Emmett found it a bit mystifying, but when he figured Luke needed to preserve his strength, all his old protective instincts re-awakened. In any case, he enjoyed the new role and found that working more closely with Luke made them both a lot less stilted. Sometimes Luke would throw Emmett a grin or a wink as he ran by that made Emmett forget everything except the renewed thrill of their partnership.
***
“So where to next?” Emmett asked.
“Cleveland tomorrow, then Chicago, then St. Louis.”
“How's the tour doing?”
“Can't you tell from the crowds?” Luke asked, laughing.
“That mean the reunion's a success?”
“Sure is. I think we can do this as long as we want.”
The bus was driving through darkness tonight; they'd started late and still had a couple hours to go. Already the interior lights were out and most of the other passengers asleep or dozing, lulled by the low hum of the engine. Only Luke and Emmett, side by side in one row, were still awake, their voices too quiet to be heard by the others.
“That's exciting.”
“You know, I been writing for the full band again. I can't wait to work with you at Forge on the next album, Em.”
“Me either. It's been so long.”
“I know it has.” Luke turned his head to give Emmett a long, somber, pensive look. “It's been a long time since we played together too. Sometimes I feel like we…we kinda forgot how to act with each other.”
Emmett knew what he meant, but didn't they both understand why that was? “Well, you know…” he said, trying to be playful, “you're a married man now. We can't do all the same shenanigans we used to.”
Luke's gaze dropped for a moment, then returned. “I know it ain't easy to go back again but…I think we gotta try, if we want this to work.”
“That what you want, Luke? To go back again?”
“There's places we can't go back to, no matter what we – even if we wanted to. And I know it's a risk, if we try'n get part of it back and not the rest. But we can't both be in this band and not be easy with each other, it just don't work.”
Luke paused, but Emmett didn't know what to say. His mouth had gone suddenly dry, and his lips felt cracked.
“The fans, too – they miss us, how we used to be, can't you feel it?”
Emmett tried to swallow. “What…what's Laura gonna think if we – get touchy with each other, like we used to?”
“She won't care. She's got her own stuff going on, better things to do than baby-sit me. And she knows I keep my word.”
“So…” Emmett narrowed his eyes to study Luke’s face, then turned his body slightly against the window. “How come you aren't leaning on me right now then, like you used to?”
Luke looked surprised, then broke into a smile. “Thought you might not want me to.”
“Seems like you'd be more comfy.”
In an instant, Luke had slid over to rest his back against Emmett's chest. “Thanks, Em. Will you work on it with me?”
“Course I will.”
***
It was hard at first. Emmett had to push through some of the motions even when they didn't feel natural to him, and he could see Luke doing the same thing. But so much of their old interaction was part of their muscle memory, like the songs themselves, that it came back almost immediately when they relaxed and allowed it to. Once in a while something odd or awkward would happen and they'd exchange a look, but then Luke would laugh and shrug and throw an arm around Emmett, and the moment would be forgotten.
They still split up to lead the crowd interaction, but now they'd move toward each other once everyone was singing, until they eventually met in the middle of the stage and wrapped their arms around each other in a show of unity that would somehow bring the whole crowd together into a single cohesive community.
As their comfort increased, it soon felt natural to be physically connected whenever they were within reach, just as it had in the old days. Luke resumed many of his other moves, sliding up to Emmett and dancing around him, standing shoulder to shoulder, leaning against his chest or propping himself on Emmett's back. The first time Luke rested his weight against Emmett's chest again, a shiver ran through Emmett's whole body, as though he'd somehow just stolen something forbidden in broad daylight. As the moments became more frequent he grew accustomed to the sensation, but he never lost the small guilty thrill at feeling Luke's body against his own.
Emmett still couldn't quite read Luke – couldn't tell if he simply wanted to resume their on-stage familiarity or if he too felt those small currents of electricity when their bare skin connected. Sometimes he thought he sensed a kind of lingering in Luke's touch, a reluctance to end their contact – but he could never be entirely sure.
Emmett took to crossing the stage at times to stand beside Laura, putting his arm around her slight shoulders or sharing her mic for back up vocals so they could face each other. Laura always welcomed him with an outstretched arm and a smile, as though happy to be included in the general entertainment. At the start of each show Luke would lead Laura onto the stage, holding her hand, but Emmett took to escorting her off, with an arm around her or under her elbow, standing by and helping her down the stairs from the stage.
***
The end of the tour's first phase was coming up in early September. Emmett had taken a couple of trips home to work, and Luke had accommodated him without complaint. The band would take a six-week break, then begin the second phase in mid-October, with a series of shows in Paris, London, Amsterdam, Madrid and Rome, before wrapping up the reunion tour at the end of November. Mary-Ann had spent the summer in Vegas with her mother, and toward the end of August Denise flew out there to pick her up and meet the tour in Austin so they could join Emmett for the final weeks before the break.
Emmett was excited to have Mary-Ann with him, and also strangely relieved to see Denise. Being with her helped to burn off some of his pent-up tension and, perhaps, guilt. Sometimes he found himself feeling vaguely contrite when he saw Luke with Laura, and he had a vague sense that being with Denise showed his intentions were honourable.
The last stateside show was in Portland. As the band arrived and unloaded, Emmett watched Denise help Mary-Ann off the bus, and mused over how well they got along. When Luke and Laura walked into the hotel holding hands, Emmett thought about how they seemed to fit together comfortably and wondered if he and Denise might work the same way.
That night, in their hotel room, Emmett asked Denise if she wanted to marry him.
She looked amused and skeptical. “We're not even exclusive. Are you sure you wouldn't rather just keep things casual?” she asked.
When she said it, Emmett wondered if he would; but somehow it seemed vitally important right then for him to be in a settled relationship, to ensure there were no misunderstandings on his own part or anyone else’s. He assured her his question was real and after a bit of discussion she agreed, though they didn’t set a date for the wedding.
“Let’s just leave it casual till the end of the tour,” Denise said, still not sounding completely convinced. “Then we can figure things out.”
Emmett didn't tell anyone about the engagement except Mary-Ann, as he knew she'd be happy to have Denise in the family. But not surprisingly, word got around among the children and eventually spread to the adults.
As they headed on stage for their last show before the break, Luke suddenly stepped up and seized Emmett's arm. “What's this I hear,” he said abruptly, his tone unusually rough, “about you and Denise? Is it true you're engaged?”
Emmett understood the reaction, but Luke would need to get over this confusion just as he had. He gently pulled his arm free. “Yes,” he said, and continued on to his station on the stage.
That night Emmett could feel something off for the whole show. Luke would run toward him, only to stop and turn away; when they met in the middle of the stage after an audience sing-along, Luke's grip on his waist would be tighter than usual and then suddenly disappear. At one point he caught Luke staring at him with a troubled look, but when their eyes met Luke just smiled coolly and motioned him backwards on the stage. When Emmett whispered in Luke's ear between songs, asking if something was wrong, Luke snapped impatiently and moved to the other side of the stage. By now, Emmett usually knew what Luke wanted at any moment during a show, but tonight it seemed completely impossible to make him happy.
On this tour the band did a three-song encore, ending with an upbeat version of one of Luke's newer songs. Tonight, as they wrapped up the second song in the encore, Luke skipped over toward Emmett and Emmett instinctively reached out to catch him and pull him close, expecting Luke to reciprocate with an arm around his own waist – as they used to do in the old days, and now did again. But this time Luke didn't react at all for a second; then in a quick motion he pushed Emmett’s arm away, wrenched himself free, and hissed, “Stop it!”
Emmett froze, shocked and mortified, like he'd been publicly chastised. What had he done wrong? Had he somehow pushed Luke too far? Across from him, Luke looked stunned, stricken.
Then the lights went down between songs, and in the darkness Emmett recovered himself – he set his face to a neutral expression and turned away to change his instrument.
Leo started the beat for the next song, but instead of counting them in, Luke suddenly stopped and turned around to face the band. “‘Mountain Home’,” he ordered. “‘Mountain Home’!”
The band exchanged surprised looks, but Leo quickly adjusted his beat and the band launched smoothly into “Mountain Home” – a song that hadn't been played once on this tour and yet remained forever in their collective memory. Emmett quickly switched his harp back to his trumpet and stepped to the front of the stage for his first solo. In a moment Luke was at his side, bouncing restlessly on the balls of his feet and shooting him little glances, trying to catch his attention. But Emmett focused stoically on his trumpet, too wounded and wary to respond.
When the horn solo ended, Luke ran back to his mic for the chorus, with Emmett and Laura joining in.
LC and the Mountain
LC and the Mountain
LC found that Mountain home
The band began the outro, Emmett stepped up again for his final solo, and Luke retreated to the far side of the stage. As Luke started his run along the riser, Emmett knew what was coming and had to close his eyes against memories that threatened to overwhelm him. When he re-opened them, Luke had landed on his knees at Emmett's feet and was looking up at him with such earnest remorse that Emmett could only smile and put out a hand to pull him up, and they took their bows together with clasped hands.
After that night, Emmett no longer had doubts about Luke's feelings for him.