It took less than a day for Luke to get over his resistance. At the studio the next day he spoke to Jerry, then called a meeting with the full team. He did his best to be transparent – admitting his struggles, apologizing for his lapses, and then trying to share some of his vision for the new record. He was amazed at the amount of discussion that generated; everyone had their own thoughts about the new songs, some insightful, some surprising, some out of left field. No wonder they hadn't been able to get a coherent sound. By the end of the conversation, even Luke had some new ideas to ponder over.

“But for now,” he said, “I think the best we can do is take a breather. Let's all go spend some time with – with other people for a while. People we like.” He laughed, trying to break the tension. “Have fun, do stuff we like doing. I know we all thought we liked playin’ music before this but maybe we can take a break on that for now. We'll re-group in a month or so, take another cut at it. I'll try and do my job better when we get back. Okay?”

He had worried the guys might be annoyed at the sudden change of schedule, but their relief was palpable. No one minded being sent home mid-day, or a month of unexpected freedom. As the meeting broke up, Jerry and the techs went off to close up the control room. Leo, Pete and Gordon paused on their way out to give Luke hugs or claps on the back. No hard feelings, brother, they said, in various ways.

Emmett didn't say anything, just grabbed Luke in a long bear hug that made him feel simultaneously both tiny and ten feet tall. When he was released, he saw Eddie standing by the wall with a wry half-smile. Emmett saw him too, and said quickly, “I'm gonna grab a ride home with Sol. I'll call you, man.”

“Thanks for everything, Em.”

Eddie came over as Emmett left. “So, uh ... Jenny wants to know if you want a ride with us? That's if, you know, we're people you like.”

That made Luke laugh with relief, and he happily accepted.

The next month passed quickly and very pleasantly. While the pressure never left him entirely, it felt manageable. He dared to hope things might be better when they went back to work; he even dared to stop thinking about his work altogether for a short while. Instead, he hung out with Eddie and Jenny, he took a couple of girls out on dates, he danced all night at the Artemis with José, and he didn't talk to Jerry at all. Emmett borrowed his aunt's car one day and the two of them drove out to Atlantic City, where they strolled the boardwalk, sat on the beach, goofed around in the water, ate hot dogs from carts, and watched the sun set over the casino resorts before driving back to Philly in the evening dusk.

For the first few weeks Luke didn't think or talk about the album. But by early April he was antsy, and anxious to do what he could to prepare for a better second session. He asked Eddie for some time, and they had a long conversation about what had worked and what hadn't. The two of them met with Jerry to go over more ideas for production and mixing. Luke had lunch with Leo, Pete and Gordon separately – he didn't bring up the recording unless they did, and if they did he tried to just listen to their thoughts. There was no need to make a special date with Emmett; they spoke on the phone daily by this time, and hung out almost as often.

When everyone reconvened at the studio near the end of April, Luke opened the session with an outline of what the record was about, how he wanted it to sound and what he wanted it to say, what was working and what wasn't. He'd spent some time getting his thoughts organized, so he was better able to describe what he was looking for.

That day they were working on the album's title track, a scorching anthem about finding a moment of grace in a sea of despair. Luke tried to set the mood by telling an anecdote he'd heard from a friend, about going to the welfare office after losing a long-time factory job. His friend had spoken about his rage at the company that let him go, his fear of losing his home and maybe more, his shame at having to apply for benefits – only to walk into the office and run into several buddies there, all feeling the same way. “It's like there was more of us there than there was at work,” the friend said with a kind of bitter satisfaction. “It sorta turned into a party.”

This time Luke wasn't surprised when some of the others shared similar stories in response. By the time they started playing, he no longer worried about trying to explain to the band what he wanted from the song. They knew.

***

The next few weeks went much more smoothly, even if they were starting almost from scratch on some of the songs. The one headache that remained was trying to get to the studio in the morning and home again at night. By the end of May most of the recording was done and they were generally working on production and mixing, which often involved long sessions in the control room that lasted well into the night. Sometimes it hardly seemed worth going home at all.

In desperation, Luke asked if he could sleep on a couch in one of the recording rooms, but the studio manager gave him a long story about insurance liability that basically boiled down to no.

A few days later, Emmett came looking for him while they were all on a break waiting for some technical glitch to be resolved. “Hey, Luke, c'mere…I wanna show you something.”

Luke followed him to the back door of the studio and outside, into a small fenced parking lot. The spring sunshine had warmed up the air by now, though nights could still be crisp. Emmett led them to a gap in the fence that led to a grassy field next door, and gestured. “Here.”

He was pointing at a small green canvas tent pitched in the middle of the field. Luke looked at it for a long time, and then at Emmett.

“It's okay, I talked to the studio guys. This field's on the owner's private property, it's not covered by the studio insurance so they're not worried about liability. I heard you talking to them the other day.”

“But…where did you…?”

“Clary and I used to go camping before the kids were born. I sweet-talked her into loaning me this for a few weeks. I know it's still a bit cold at night but – ”

Luke threw his arms around Emmett's neck, trying not to let the tears reach his eyes. He didn't know exactly why he was so moved and excited. It might have been that his biggest problem had just been solved. Or maybe it was the evidence, once again, of Emmett looking out for him.

“…I put some extra blankets inside so I figure we'll be okay.”

We? “You stayin’ too, Em?”

“Sure. With two of us, you know…body heat.”

It definitely wasn't just Emmett's kindness that made Luke's heart skip. He really needed to get over this lifelong liability of easy tears. “Em…”

“No big deal. C'mon, we better get back, they might be ready to start again.”

That night Luke could hardly concentrate on the recording, and had to force himself to keep working till Sol called it quits around two a.m. By then only Luke and Emmett were left so when Sol closed up the control room they headed for the back door.

Emmett had a flashlight that he used to guide them through the chilly night air to the tent. “It's pretty small,” he said apologetically, lifting the flap for Luke. “And I'm afraid there's only the one air mattress and sleeping bag, so we'll have to share.”

He lit a small kerosene lamp and hung it from a hook at the top of the tent. The pool of light revealed a double air mattress covered in blankets taking up most of the floor space in the tent. A sudden memory flashed through Luke's mind – blankets like these, down by the river under an open sky, exchanging nervous looks with Eddie, both of them so young, not wanting to admit their fears.

Emmett lifted a corner of the bedding to show an unzipped sleeping bag spread over another blanket on top of the mattress. “This is what Clary and me used to do, just share one sleeping bag. Hope that's okay with you.”

“It's perfect.” Luke looked all around, then back at Emmett. “Did you bring your daddy jammies?” He meant it as a joke but somehow it didn't come out that way.

“No, man. This is, like, bare bones camping.”

Stolen story; please report.

“Bare bones, huh.” Luke laughed nervously and pulled off his t-shirt. “Let's get under before we freeze.”

Emmett was already undressing. Luke hastily slid out of his jeans and slipped under the covers so he could watch. Emmett was so tall he could hardly stand upright inside the tent. His dark brown skin took on a golden glow in the lamp light, and Luke remembered how the water had coursed along the contours of his muscles that day at the beach. When Emmett had stripped down to his boxers, Luke opened the covers and slid over to let him in. After a moment he scooted back to fit himself against Emmett's body. “I guess I gotta warm you up,” he said lightly.

Emmett laughed and put an arm over Luke, the way he always did. It felt like home, Luke thought. He lifted his face to give Emmett a peck, daringly close to the lips this time. “Thank you.”

Emmett's arm tightened, and his low voice was suddenly serious. “It's okay.”

Luke vaguely thought he should be doing more to take advantage of the situation, but the mattress was soft and warm, and Emmett's body curled around his felt like a protective cocoon. It wasn't like the record would be finished tomorrow. He shut his eyes and fell asleep.

***

The next morning they got up, dressed quickly and ran into the studio to wash up in the rest room. Emmett made coffee in the small kitchenette and they ate toast and cold pizza for breakfast. When the others arrived around nine they were sipping coffee and waiting; a far cry from the usual scramble to get in some time before noon.

Despite everything, Emmett still loved the recording process. He was even making a few extra bucks as a replacement for Sol's original assistant, who had not expected to be needed for over six months. But mostly he was just happy to be there, to hang out with the band and see the magic happen. Even if he knew now that it wasn't so much magic as a long, painful slog.

It was a relief to see Luke doing better. He'd lost weight in the previous months, and his short fuse had made him seem like a different person, even if Emmett had rarely been the target of his outbursts. For one brief moment, back then, Emmett had almost doubted. Not his conviction that Luke would eventually be a star – that never wavered – but his assumption that this record would be the breakthrough they were waiting for. Just once, Emmett had wondered if, perhaps, they might have to wait a bit longer.

But now Luke was back, better than ever. He had some of his old confidence, but with less hubris; his old self-assurance, but with more willingness to listen and share. He laughed more, seemed to be having fun again, and put on a few pounds. And the tent – well, the tent resolved Luke's last remaining issue. Emmett was proud of himself for thinking of it. He remembered how, back in the old days, he used to think it was his job to look after Luke because Luke paid him. Now he knew it was his job, and money had nothing to do with it.

Emmett had half-expected Luke to make a move in the tent but for the first few nights they left the studio so late that they both fell asleep almost instantly. Their goodnight kiss usually landed on the lips these days, but that didn’t seem to make any difference. Settling into bed with Luke tucked against his chest already felt like second nature to Emmett.

A week or so later, Luke announced that the album's title track was finished. This song had been particularly problematic, and the band and techs had worked on it on and off for almost the entire recording period. Now, at last, Luke was satisfied.

“Hallelujah,” said Eddie, producing a bottle of Wild Turkey seemingly from thin air. “Let's celebrate.”

Jerry brought in glasses from the kitchenette. Eddie poured, they all toasted, cheered, drank and forgot, for that night, about the other half a dozen songs that remained in frustrating limbo. It was early – well before midnight – but no one wanted to start working on something else that night. After some general merriment and congratulations all around, people began heading home. Emmett thought about asking one of them for a ride but it didn't seem to cross Luke's mind so he didn't.

As Emmett helped close up the studio, Luke disappeared into the kitchenette and returned a few minutes later with a pot of tea and two mugs. He found Eddie's bottle, added a few shots of whiskey to the teapot, then nudged Emmett with a grin. “Let's go.”

The night air was mild and the tent warmer than usual, or maybe they just weren't used to being outside before midnight. Emmett paused to zip up the tent flaps and as always by the time he turned around Luke had finished undressing and slipped under the covers. Most nights, Luke pulled the blankets up to his chin against the cold but tonight he sat up, pouring tea into the mugs. As Emmett lit the lantern and hung it from its hook, Luke picked up one of the mugs, moved to the other side of the bed, and leaned against the tent wall.

Emmett didn't mind feeling Luke's eyes on him as he undressed every night; if anything, he kind of liked it. Those boys in college would look at him boldly, like he was some kind of half-wild exotic creature they'd never seen before, but Luke's gaze was circumspect, admiring, abashed. It made you want to slow down and encourage him.

Undressed, he climbed under the covers, leaned against the tent wall beside Luke, and picked up his mug. The tea and whiskey filled him with a soothing warmth. Luke seemed almost giddy as they chatted about the finished song, the record, plans for the next day. When the teapot was empty, Luke put his mug down on the tent floor and turned toward Emmett. The lamplight softened his features, but his hazel eyes glittered with a kind of suppressed excitement.

“Congratulations, man,” Emmett said finally, his voice lower than he'd expected. “You held out and got what you wanted.”

Luke half-laughed nervously. “Not…everything I wanted.”

“Well, not yet.” Emmett saw Luke's eyes start to widen. “I mean, there's a lot more songs to go.”

“Oh…yeah.”

Emmett drained his mug and set it down. “Should I put out the lantern?”

“If you want.”

By this time Emmett was used to their goodnight ritual and would easily return the kiss, but tonight Luke didn't seem to be initiating anything so he leaned over to peck Luke's lips. “Night, Luke,” he said

Luke pressed back against Emmett's mouth for a second longer than usual. As Emmett started to move away, he felt a hand on his thigh.

“Hey Em ...” Luke spoke in a half whisper, half shy giggle. “Can I kiss you again?”

Emmett laughed. “Do you ask the girls that?” It was a deflection, he knew.

“No.” Luke sounded steadier this time. “But I don't wanna surprise you.”

Despite having expected this for weeks or even months, Emmett still didn't know how he wanted to respond. Luke's face was golden in the lantern light, mouth slightly slack and eyes shadowed, not quite meeting his. After a moment, Emmett slid a hand on top of the one on his thigh and shifted his body toward Luke's.

In a second Luke's arms wrapped around him and they kissed again, a bit hesitantly at first, then with more assurance. Emmett had to bend down to reach Luke, who tilted his head up and pressed his partly opened mouth against Emmett's slowly, as though to savour the taste. His lips were surprisingly soft and pliant; more like Clarissa's than a boy's. He seemed to hold himself back just a little, like Clarissa did when she didn't want to get them worked up. After a moment, Emmett moved his hands up to Luke's shoulders, then to his hair and the sides of his face. Luke’s eyes were closed now; he took in a breath and stilled himself, as though to let Emmett take the lead. Emmett had no problem with that. He tightened his fist in Luke's hair and pulled him closer, pressing his own parted lips against Luke's mouth more forcefully, before abruptly stopping himself.

Surely this couldn't be a good idea. Not that he didn't like it; but they hadn't talked about anything, there hadn't been any negotiations, he didn't even know what Luke wanted, exactly. Did either of them know where it might lead? He pulled away slightly and Luke stayed motionless beside him.

“You wanna stop, Em?”

Emmett didn't know what he wanted. “Shouldn't we…uh, should we get some sleep?”

In the glow of the lamp, Luke's face was faintly flushed. “We can, if you want,” he said after a moment.

Emmett pushed himself off the air mattress and went over to put out the kerosene lamp. When he got back, Luke was lying under the covers, facing him. Emmett got in and put an arm across Luke's waist.

“That was fun,” he said, to be sure there was no misunderstanding. He leaned over to kiss Luke's mouth, just a little more than a peck this time. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” Luke returned the kiss, then turned over abruptly to face the other way.

Emmett moved forward to curl himself against Luke as he usually did, but somehow tonight he couldn't quite close the distance between them. His arm was still draped over Luke's back, fingers brushing his bare stomach. Luke wiggled a little, as though to move further away from him again.

Emmett didn't believe in awkward silences. He leaned up on an elbow. “Something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then what are you doing way over there?”

Luke didn't answer right away, and he kept facing away. When he finally spoke, it was in that familiar sheepish, self-deprecating tone. “I just, uh…I don't want you bein’ surprised or anything.”

For a second Emmett didn't get it. Then he laughed aloud.

“Just don't mind me,” Luke said. “If I'm a little hard.”

“Don't worry about that.” Emmett tried to sound reassuring. He scooted over, holding Luke firmly in place with his arm this time. “Come here.” He lowered his hand curiously, brushing the front of Luke's shorts. Yes, there it was.

“Okay, man,” Luke said, arching away and slapping Emmett's hand lightly. “It's no big deal. Let's just get to sleep.”

“Naw. I can look after that for you first.” Emmett leaned his chin on Luke's shoulder and reached down to assess the situation in his boxers more thoroughly.

“C'mon, Em, it's fine. You don't need to – ”

“Stop arguing.” Emmett took Luke's cock in his hand and gave it a light squeeze to further his point. Luke hitched in his breath, but there were no more protests. Emmett's large hand easily enveloped Luke's cock and he pumped expertly, gently at first, faster and more forcefully when he knew Luke was ready. It only took a couple of minutes to bring him off, and Luke clutched Emmett's forearm as he came.

As Luke's breathing slowed down, Emmett moved his arm back up to Luke's chest.

“Thank you.” Luke reached up to squeeze his hand. “But fuck, man, I messed up your blanket…”

Emmett laughed sleepily. “That's okay, you can rinse it in the morning.”

“What about you, Em?” Luke moved backward to brush against Emmett's shorts.

“I'm fine.”

“C'mon, you're hard too. Can't I do anything for you?”

“No thanks, let's just go to sleep.”

“But it's your turn – ”

Emmett was too tired to keep arguing. He used his most authoritative voice. “That's enough, Luke.”

“Oh – ” Luke broke off, startled.

For a moment there was silence, and Emmett shut his eyes.

“Man, now I'm hard again,” Luke whispered.

“Go to sleep, Luke.”

“All right. Night Em.”

“Night El.”