Epilogue 1

None of this was real. But life in my world had taught me none of that really mattered.

Even now that so much time had passed and everyone had reached the after-life, I still would think about what Dr. Henderson had done to my world, my people, and to me. I could feel the blade cutting through her chest when I killed her. Would I do the same today? Was I still that same girl I had been?

I smirked and chuckled to myself.

Life was a strange thing. I never would have thought that I could lose track of years, but I had, and I didn’t care to figure out how many had slipped away from me in the after-life. So much had happened in our world before we passed on. Peace had been a nice change in this new realm. Although, I only wanted peace for so long when there was so much work to be done.

Nash held my hand as we walked through the yellow meadow for the gathering of all those we loved. It still felt strange that they didn't have all their memories like we did, but I had come to accept it. At least Nash and I remembered everything from our life. It’d been difficult waiting for Nash to regain his memories, but it was worth it. We’d fought so many battles. He deserved the peace I had never had. The peace of not remembering until he was ready. I was just thankful it didn’t take him long to find me again.

As we approached our friends, Dr. Drake met us and took our hands. “It’s the day. How do you feel?”

“Nervous,” I said.

“I was nervous my first time too.”

Leif and Wren came to my side while I looked across the field for the kids. Rune picked flowers with his youngest daughter and smiled at me when I waved. Our lives had become full of so many people. “Good luck,” Wren said and looped her arm through mine. “I hope you enjoy your new job.”

“You better,” Leif said. His eyes looked deeper. Like maybe he realized I was holding something back from him but didn’t want to say in front of Wren. Even though they remembered everyone they loved now, they remembered little about our life so far.

“Things tend to be pretty enjoyable in the after-life. I’m sure we’ll like it just fine.” I watched Nash as he slid his arm around Elsie.

Leif flicked my arm. “We should do some sparring before you go.”

I grinned. That was something I would have to do. But first I made my rounds until I found my oldest friend sitting on a bench on his own, looking so content to watch everyone. Piercey had always been an old soul. His weathered fingers laced over his knee as he watched everyone in the meadow. We could be whatever version of ourselves we wanted to be here. A person’s appearance often changed naturally depending on who they were with. Lovers might be young in one moment like when they first met and then the next middle-aged with their adult children. People could even become who they never had the chance to be, like children who died young, but found their adult forms here in the after-life.

Piercey was always the same though. I wasn’t surprised that he chose this version of himself, this older and wiser man.

“Hello, friend.” I sat down beside him.

He smiled at me, the wrinkles of so many past smiles deepening. “Max.”

Like me, Piercey never lost his memories. We were potential candidates, but we hadn't chosen to continue toward enlightenment as a team. After all we'd been through, we deserved to choose our own path. And he loved it here in the after-life. All he’d ever wanted was peace. Now he had it.

“You’re going off to battle.” Piercey’s eyes glimmered.

“Not quite.”

“Not like the old days, but still, a battle.”

I watched him for a moment. “Do you wish I wouldn’t?”

“No, Max. This is who you are. You could never stay here and be content, not until everywhere is as perfect as it is here. Neither could Nash.” He smiled. “You’re destined to do this together.”

My chest softened. Buried beneath the years, my childhood friend still remained. “I guess so.”

“Visit me when you’re done.”

“I will, Piercey.”

We squeezed one another’s hands and smiled. I walked to the top of the hill where Nash sat with all of our people. I couldn’t blame anyone for staying here forever. It’d been all I wanted before, to be with the people I loved and never have to say goodbye.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

But it was that yearning, that heartbreak we’d suffered in our world, that drove me to continue working my way to the council. Those who remembered were responsible to carry all that we had learned and suffered so younger souls could find comfort. One day, Nash and I would be ready to return to our family, for good. Or they would come out into society and live with us there. One day, we would all be together, and there would be no end. Maybe I would even let myself forget about the world we’d left behind. Maybe I’d let myself have the peace that Piercey so loved.

For now, I wanted to remember what happened, no matter how badly some memories hurt.

Surrounded by everyone we had ever loved, the land around us shifted into the blue of the ocean. Our lives flowed into one, like these gentle waters. Like our memories became one, looking like one, despite each droplet still being its own. Somehow, despite all I’d already experienced, I knew there was so much left for me to discover.

“We’ll be back soon,” I said to our family. To our little village. To our world. Leif and Wren nodded at me with their smiles gentle.

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My heart pounded as I settled back on the white table.

“You’ve waited a long time for this, Max,” Dr. Drake said. “You two are ready.”

I reached my hand out. Nash took it in a firm grasp.

My voice came out in a hushed breath. "I love you Nash." The words mean lifetimes worth.

"I love you, Max."

Then we closed our eyes and fell into a deep sleep, deep in another world.

Being born was so much like dying. A whole world in your heart and then suddenly a new one.

I’d held onto Nash's hand in the white room so tight that I felt it every time something squeezed my hand after. First it was his, and then I was squeezing my own in the warmth of the womb. Squeezing my mother's pinky from the crib. Squeezing the sticky fingers of the kid down the road.

Squeezing the handlebars of my bike as I sped down the road with the wind whipping my hair. And there I was. The autumn night crackled with the croaking of frogs. Coolness tickled my bare knees. Riding alone on the street, I wondered, for the first time, what the world was like before I'd been born into it. How it would be when I died.

My head fell back so the streetlights burned my eyes. Beyond them, the gaping black night stared back. The bike flew out from under me like someone had jerked it. In the moment before everything flashed impossibly fast, I felt myself slip, like I'd left the neighborhood.

Then the ground ripped across my body and I slammed onto my side.

I groaned, afraid to move and see how bad it was. My skin burned all down my left arm and leg.

"You trashed that mailbox."

I turned at the voice.

A boy held the splintered hunk of a mailbox post. A laugh tinged his voice, bubbling beneath the concern. "You okay?"

I glanced down. My skin was raw on my arm and my knee bloody. "Fine."

"Here." He threw down the post and offered his hand.

I pushed it away and scowled. "I don't need some boy coming to my rescue." Wincing, I stood up, gasping at the burn in my knee. "I can take care of myself."

Standing now, I met amber eyes. My stomach tightened and the burning in my knee seemed to have moved to my belly.

"That's a stupid thing to say." He arched one eyebrow. "Helping you up doesn't mean you're helpless. My dad says people who can't take help are insecure."

The burning erupted in flames of fury. "Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you."

"Oh yeah?" He looked down. Grass and dirt stained my clothes. "Good luck catching me."

He pivoted and took off in a full sprint. I ran hard after him.

I caught him, of course. And the next time he caught me. If time had moved so fast before that, so instantly that I didn't know it existed, it crawled through falls and winters and springs and glorious summers. It crawled until I'd come to expect that. Come to expect I'd never lose out on time to chase the boy who'd dared to help me when I fell.

When the slipping started and time raced faster than I could catch it, I understood, actually understood, that one day I would die. Those questions from the autumn night slipped back into my mind as I watched an older woman move down the aisle of the courtroom on her walker. I was twenty-five, and for the first time, for no reason in particular, I grasped that I wouldn't be here forever.

Harsh lights glared overhead as the woman made it onto the stand.

He stood up now, catching my eyes with the stare that could snap back time in an instant. He wore his curls differently in court. I wanted to pluck them so they’d fall over his eyes the way I liked but he looked good like this too. Especially as he smirked at me now and then shifted his stare to his witness.

The arrogance.

We'd fought our whole lives and we loved it. It was no wonder we wound up fighting each other in court. Even though I'd complained he copied me when he started law school a year after I did, it felt like fate. Even so, I didn’t have time for him and his dimpled smile. If I lost my focus this early in my career, I’d be done for.

I’d been a fool then, though. I wished I could say I’d never been a fool again, but it wasn’t long after that when I realized I didn’t have the time to not be with him. Life was too fleeting. Time passed so quickly again. Even so it was a long time, a very long time, filled to the brim with wonder and heartbreak, before I felt myself slip far, far away from that life.

I awoke with a hand squeezing mine so tightly. I awoke in a haze, aware only that this had happened before, that we had never let go, that this wouldn't be the last time either.

As the memories slipped back in and I let my head fall to the side to look into Nash's amber eyes, I squeezed him tighter. "Good morning," I whispered.

He gazed at me like he had in the very long dream we'd just dreamt, how he gazed at me every night as we went to bed, and as we opened our eyes in the morning; like he had back in our first world when we fought our way through line after line of warriors; like he had when we sat with our family before entering this simulated life.

I figured no matter how many lives we lived, we'd always have each other.

Dr. Drake helped me up and I let her.

"It's not too late to go to back to the after-life," she said.

I didn't need to think about it, not after everything that had happened and that we’d learned. My world—my people—had shifted places, but it was still mine to protect. "Bliss is fine, but I'd rather clean this place up. We have a lot more lives to live before we're ready to do that."

It'd be the hardest battle I ever fought. That we'd ever fought.