The rage at facing my second demon attack in less than twelve hours poured through me like lava. I should have been home with Elsie and Nash. Instead, I faced off with a demon woman I didn't recognize in the middle of a village that also should have been sleeping. These fools had to realize that I wasn't going to ever miss their attack and that I always put them down. Did each of them really believe they would finally be the one to best me? It didn't make sense. I was more and more certain that someone had coordinated these demon sightings over the last year.

"Who sent you?" I curled my lips in a snarl.

The demon answered with a bellowing roar and her palms aimed at me, nails sharp like claws.

The gust of wind hit me first, immediately followed by razor sharp points as thin as needles. They shot through the air in hundreds of translucent daggers that faintly picked up a trail of dirt around its thin edges. I erected my shield in time, but the points cut through the wall behind me and poked tiny holes in every inch from the floor up to the ceiling. One had managed to pierce my shield slice through my forearm in a flash of pain.

I couldn't give her time to weaponize the very air around me as I was certain that she'd utilized wind to create a wave of razors. Darting forward, I drew my energy blade along the ground, scattering dust, as I swiped up along her torso. She dodged, but I'd at least managed to throw enough debris into the air for me to see the next attack more clearly.

With a powerful blast of wind, she vollied four massive discs of air at me, the dirt I'd thrown swirling through their middle. These were so sharp and large that I worried they'd penetrate my shield after one of her daggers had already broken through. Instinctively drawing my shield, I didn't simply brace for the attack, but slammed the shield into the discs of air and followed up with a powerful swing of my energy blade.

Two of the discs slammed against my shield and exploded back toward the demon. But the other two sliced through my shield and caught my sword mid-swing.

Gritting my teeth and screaming with effort, I pushed all my power into cutting through the discs. The energy of her attack had hit me like an actual explosion, the kind used to blow up cliff sides to make way for the trains. One disc snapped in half and burst through the building behind me on either side of me. But the other dug into my sword, refusing to give. And then the sword snapped. The demon stared into my eyes through the dusty air, looking ravenous with the hunger for power and the yearning to put down Eclipse.

I teleported directly behind her, energy sword already ready against her throat. She was too vicious to try saving. I made no hesitation as I drew it back against her throat.

Only the wind shoved my blade back enough for a sliver of air to appear between her slender throat and my sword. She was twisting toward me, hands pushing for my stomach, the air between us already whipping into a frenzy.

I couldn't take any more time to try measuring her power. Instead, I teleported again and this time my sword drove deeply into her gut.

She was still twisted the opposite way, searching for my body, when the other end of the energy blade burst through her back in a flash of red power and black blood.

It wasn't fair. She shouldn't fight an enemy who could teleport and it wasn't because she wasn't good. In a fight without this power of mine, she would have done significant damage before I managed to kill her. I actually hated fighting this way. Cursed myself for relying on it now. But I was too tired and had too much to do to spend time fighting her or getting injured by her.

"Your power is incredible," I said as she sank to her knees.

The demon collapsed onto her stomach with shaking hands, unable to stop the blood bushing from her wide wound. "Someone… will get you… one of these days."

Probably true. I had no illusion about invincibility. I had a great power, sure. Gael and his people couldn't travel as often as I did and it took longer for their portals to open than it did for me to simply teleport. So mine still proved more advantageous. Someone would figure out how to counteract it one day, though. It was inevitable that I'd find someone stronger than me, smarter than me, perhaps just luckier than me. Even then, that person would be a fool to underestimate me, because it would only drive me to grow beyond them.

The demon twitched below me. I hadn't wanted to kill her. The thought felt useless and far too little far too late as she fell into a heap, choking on her own blood. With a swift snap of my blade, I ended her misery.

The villagers tried to talk to me. I was so tired that I could hardly form words. No one had been injured and they wanted to hug me. Thank me. Invite me in for something to drink or to wash up.

With the little energy remaining to me, I returned to the room where Elsie still curled up sleeping and Nash sat. Waiting for me.

"You're okay," he said. I knew there was more he wanted to say. He hadn't wanted to be left behind, even though he needed to stay with Elsie. He had wanted to help me, even though his power wasn't nearly great enough yet to take on that demon. He wanted to ease the burden I'd been left to carry.

I nodded and then swallowed hard. "Soon," I said, too tired to manage much more. "I promise."

If he felt confused by what I meant, he didn't show it. Nash pushed to his feet and placed his hand against my back. "Soon," he agreed.

I smiled, hoping he understood. Soon, this would all be different. I didn't have the answers now. It felt like even once others learned how to portal, or even if I taught someone how to teleport, I would still be running all over the Valley, trying to fight these demons and disciples and prophets and swarms of warriors breaking into our lands and mysterious coalitions that wouldn't leave us the hell alone. Because I couldn't imagine being able to truly step back from any of these fights. I only knew that I felt as devoted to this new family of mine as I did the valley, and I could no more fail them than I ever could fail my people.

Nash lifted me into his arms and the relief immediately made my body go lax, just like floating in the water. I closed my eyes, wanting to stay like this longer, despite that it took less than a minute for him to carry me across the apartment to the bedroom. When he settled me on the bed, I gripped his shirt, eyes still closed, not letting go. He slid me over on the bed and held me close. Though I knew that he hurt as well, and could imagine how I'd feel in his position, he held it back from me, taking care of it himself. I wanted to ease his own burden, if only I had the strength.

For the first time in a year, I felt that if I let go, I would slip away. The shaky feeling inside of me had returned. The difficulty of feeling my body. I didn't want to leave the Valley and go to Elias's world. What would happen while I was away?

"Sleep," Nash whispered, just like he had in the cave the first time he'd held me. "Sleep, I won't let go."

As exhausted as I was and as inevitable as sleep felt, I found myself lost between the two worlds, between my dreams and my reality. My thoughts flittered over fantasies of a future where we tucked Elsie in every night and had nights to ourselves. And just as quickly I imagined demons storming our villages the moment I left for Elias's world. And his guild joining them. My people, my family, left broken in the stampede of warring threats against this valley.

Maybe I shouldn't have killed the Prophet, not without being willing to take his place. I'd left an opportunity here for anyone to seize and now I lived out the consequence of having to stop them all myself.

I hadn't killed him to help myself, though. I'd wanted to save my people from his cruelty. Did doing that mean I no longer deserved to live my own life? I never meant to fall in love with Nash and dare to dream of a home and family of my own. But imagining Elsie in my situation, it was so clear to see. I would absolutely want her to follow her convictions and help the valley, but never at the total expense of her own heart and soul. I knew that I not only had every right to seize life for my family, but every responsibility.

I just couldn't get my heart to believe it.

It felt selfish to wish for peace when others had no hope of this, not only because I had played a role in the destabilization of the valley, but because I wanted to help take care of them. Having a family felt like turning my back on the family. This was who I was–the person who protected and took care of my people. It's who I'd been since Leif welcomed me into his own. Who I'd been at the Sacred School. Who I'd been when my father awakened the flame inside me and failed me so badly that I knew, fucking knew, that I could do what he did. I could never be the kind of person who fails to care for the people I love and to be what they need. I could never abandon my people in pain without being there to carry it alone. From the first day that my father broke my heart and left me to hold the shattered pieces alone, I'd known that I would be the one who holds others together.

So who did I choose to care for when I couldn't do both? My family or my valley?

I knew there was no answering, because it wasn't the right question to ask.

It wasn't wrong that my own suffering had given me enough empathy that I chose to ease the suffering of others. It was just that doing it in such an unthinking, compulsive, even childish way would ruin my family.

Nash and Elsie deserved to be the center of my world.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

I deserved to be in that center too, didn't I? That sounded so selfish and entitled that I could hardly think it.

There was one thing I could accept, though. Our family deserved peace. Just like the Valley did.

I couldn't be so weak as to bend my knee to the past and continue to live in ways that I needed to grow out of. Once, I'd retaken the power inside of me that the gods had sealed away. Imagine what I could become if I retook more of my power. If I retook what my father had destroyed. If I became someone who did not simply save the valley but raised up warriors who could help the people save themselves. As long as I was killing myself protecting everyone else, then none of us were living our best lives. I needed to give others the chance to become powerful.

"Nash."

He rolled his head toward me, eyes looking blearing with sleep. "You okay?"

I worked my arm around him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For not giving you all of me. For giving to everyone else what should be ours."

"Max…" He clasped my hands that curled at his chest. "You give me so much."

"How will the valley ever be healthy if it relies so entirely upon me that I can't have peace within myself? I'm holding us back." The realization cracked through my chest first in a shot of pain but then in soothing warmth. The kind of healing that hurt and felt good at the same time. "This whole time, I've been holding us all back. Not saving us."

Nash was on the verge of sleep again and likely didn't at all understand what I was talking about. I needed to hear myself say it, so I could make it real, and make it mine, and ensure that I didn't bury it away again to where I couldn't grasp it.

I had no idea how to let the Valley shift from my center to its proper place, but I had to learn. And I had to learn now because soon I was leaving for Gael's world, like it or not.

----------------------------------------

Elsie was so excited for her upcoming performance that she joined us to train in the courtyard. I had only an hour before I needed to take a group of Gael's men on a tour of our borders where we'd been clashing with Flatlanders and the strange groups of unknown warriors popping up. I figured that even though I needed more sleep, I actually needed this more. Nash had to learn to use his energy and do so quickly. I would have a few hours when I returned to rest before Elsie's show, though I had to squeeze in time to meet with Elias, who had traveled back to our world for an update.

For now, for a very short time, we had to train.

Nash practiced drawing the energy into his hands while Elsie slashed her wooden swords at an invisible opponent.

"Widen your legs a bit," I said, tapping her foot with mine. "Hold it a little lower."

Elsie slashed the air and unleashed a shrill scream. "Wow! Did you see?"

"I saw."

"That was good. Gooder than ever."

As much as I wanted to help her more and enjoy the thrill in her eyes as she improved, I didn't have the time to give her more than a few pointers. Piercey was busy with Gael, so Nash needed me to help him with his power.

"That's good," I said, noticing the beads of sweat that had popped along his hairline. His muscles were clenched as he wrestled with the energy inside of him, now practicing to draw upon it without releasing it. As a child, the Prophet of my home region had taught me to do this, so that I could gain control of the power within me before I expelled it and potentially lost control.

It was really hard to hold it inside, though. I used to feel like it was a monster inside of me trying to gobble up my insides.

Nash's expression scrunched in a pain I remembered too well, even after all these years.

"Okay, now, very gently let it flow to the surface."

A beam of red flashed from his fingertips. I caught it with my own and blocked it before it could shoot into the ground. Both of us pivoted to Elsie.

"Shit." Nash wiped the sweat from his brow. "I shouldn't do this with her around."

I would never let her get hurt. Nash wasn't going to be so powerful that I couldn't control it. Still, it made me nervous too. I didn't trust my ability to notice him losing control of his power like Piercey did.

"Yeah." I swallowed hard and placed my hand on Nash's chest. It was damp with sweat. "Why don't we take a break."

"There's no time."

I sighed. "You lost control of it. There has to be time. It's counterproductive to push too hard and lose control."

"Funny coming from you. You realize that right?"

I twisted my face. "What do you mean?"

"You never stop at your limit. You just keep going."

"I've been dealing with my power longer." It was a weak response, though, wasn't it? I knew that he had a good point and that I needed to really think about it.

Nash rolled his shoulders. "I have to keep going. I'll work on holding it in again. Trin is here. We need to send Elsie to her."

When my expression soured, Nash sighed.

"Max, we have to. We can't let Elias's guild come into this world. Elsie won't be safe."

He was right. I nodded and then walked to Elsie. "Hey, sweet girl. Your mom is looking for you. Let's go see her."

She grabbed my hand and waved at her dad. "I'll be back, Daddy!"

He looked at her with pain in his eyes, the kind I'd seen too often in him, first when he was forced to serve the prophet and be separated from her, and now when protecting her and this valley took away the time he should have spent being her father.

I wanted to promise Elsie that we would fix this but she wouldn't understand.

----------------------------------------

Gael's people had been professional and quick to learn when I brought them along with me to different important regions along the borders. After we returned to the Sacred School, I felt a little more comfortable about leaving the Valley in their hands. I still couldn't shake my worry. In fact, the anxiety churned in me in a way it hadn't in a long time. I just couldn't settle down entirely.

I met Elias for dinner while Piercey helped Nash train and down with him right as Elsie abandoned her food to swing her swords.

"I've bought myself two weeks," Elias said. I told the guild leaders that I'll explain everything to them but that time is of the essence."

"Aren't they getting suspicious?" I chewed the inside of my lip.

"Yes. I don't think I actually have two weeks. Maybe one."

I leaned back and glanced at Elsie as she stabbed the air. How was I supposed to fight in two worlds at the same time? And be Ma to a little girl? That wasn't even taking into consideration that I wanted to actually have a night with Nash where neither of us had to deal with any business.

"I don't know how to do this." I looked at Elias again, anxiety scratching my insides. I felt this bad since before I regained my power and learned how to hold myself in place so I didn't drift through time. "If I leave, who is going to respond to the demon attacks?"

"Isn't that why you're bringing Gael's people?"

"They can only travel so many times a day. This isn't their valley. What if they betray us?"

"Dr. Drake promised to alert you."

"Who knows if the Collective will actually let her do that."

Elias paused and sighed. "I don't want to assume that you're like Ashton in this way but considering you're the same person in two different worlds, I'm going to make a guess that you do this also. She can only walk away when she knows for sure everything will be fine. After she's run through every terrible scenario and has people she can trust to handle it."

"Obviously." I leaned forward. "How could I ever leave without knowing everything would be okay?"

"You cannot live life for every person in the valley. You can't stop every demon attack or save every person."

The words made me deeply uncomfortable. "I have to try."

"What if trying to do that means that you actually are failing? You're exhausted in every sense of the word. You're guilty because you started a life with a man who has a child and you don't have time to actually live it even though you want to and you know you'd be good at it."

I didn't like how accurate his assessment was when we hardly knew each other. I truly was so similar to my counterpart.

"Max…" Elias clasped my wrist and then seemed to think better of it. He pulled away slowly. "You can't sustain this forever. If I've learned anything watching Ashton, it's that when you aren't healthy, you aren't your best, and if you aren't your best, you're not going to be the person you want to be. Not only that, but when you're so off-balance, it's for a reason."

"What reason is that?"

"You aren't giving the people of the Valley a chance to learn how to defend themselves. You're forcing a shortcut through your sheer will. What if you died? The Valley has to be able to survive without you."

The words resonated with me in a way that made me feel sweaty and nauseous. It was what I'd already been trying to reconcile in my mind, but hearing someone else say it was harder than thinking it. "I can't walk away."

"Maybe walking away is the best thing for the Valley."

"A demon attacks and I don't respond. How is that good for anyone?"

"A demon attacks while you're in my world saving your people. What do you do?"

I scratched at my arm and looked away.

"You don't know," Elias said. "That's why you're still here when you know you need to come deal with my guild."

I slapped my hand down and growled beneath my breath. "Because you brought this on me. I was already over here drowning before you threw this bomb into my world."

"I gave power to three of your best warriors."

We started one another down, until I realized that Elsie had started watching us. Clearing my throat, I leaned back. Piercey and I never fought, and as far as Elsie knew, this was Piercey. I needed to watch my tone or she'd worry something was wrong.

After a few seconds, she started playing again, this time practicing her spin, as she called it. She managed to get a little kick in at the end of the spins now. I couldn't help smiling.

"I know you feel bad," I said.

"Of course, I feel bad. I wanted your help. I didn't want to endanger your world. There's nothing I can do about it now, though. Not only do you have to save your people from mine, but you also can learn what you need from us. I've told you that since the beginning. And look at what you've already gotten from my world. It's going to change everything, having Nash be able to fight with you properly."

"I can't get over it that easily. You're saying I need to step back from my people and let them fend for myself so I can run off to your world. It feels like I'm abandoning them. Who knows what could happen while I'm gone."

"And I say that's exactly what your valley needs. You're too good at protecting them. You'll never let them grow beyond you because you can't stand to see them in pain. You need to be forced away from them and forced to leave them in someone else's hands."

My voice wanted to raise to a shout and that filled me with pressure in my lungs since I had to force myself to speak quietly. "The valley is not ready for me to abandon it."

"You aren't. Gael will watch over your people and so will the warriors here."

I found myself grinding my teeth back and forth.

"Are you okay?" The gentleness in his voice reminded me too much of Piercey. "You don't seem okay."

"There's a lot going on."