It only became harder to stay away from Jax as his talk of peace raised my hopes more and more. We both were influential in our guild. What if we could push them back to one another?

Both of us knew it wouldn't be so simple as convincing guild leaders to give it a try. We'd hurt each other and stolen from each other. As I'd always said, it wasn't a bloodless feud. So we started planning and dreaming. Imagining forcing the hands of our guild leaders beyond this war. Could we mount political pressure for them to share resources? That drove most of their fighting. We each needed resources the others had and there was only so far we could come in power without being able to innovate. If the people of the kingdom demanded collaboration over competition and backstabbing, then there could be hope.

I'd actually started think it might be able to happen until my delusions came crashing down around me.

After six months battling the coastal kingdoms, we had a week break in a city we had stopped in frequently. Both of our guilds were housed in the same complex where commanders and guild leadership worked together on strategy and the rest of the warriors took a much needed rest.

Jax and I had come long past wondering and guilty nights in the woods. We were dreaming of the future.

Until halfway through the stay, the door to Jax's room opened without anyone knocking, and a voice I knew so well tethered me in place.

"Ashton." The sound of Lote's voice twisted my stomach in knots.

Jax and I stared into each other's eyes with both of ours wide and my mind completely blank at how to spin this. There was no hiding, no denying, no covering up the truth. My hands were buried in his curls and his hidden beneath my shirt, my knees straddling him as I sat facing him.

Lote was silent and I knew what that meant.

My heart began to pound out of control. The rapid fire thoughts shooting through my head made my face feel red hot. How had he found us? Why did he even come looking? What the hell was I thinking putting myself in this position in the first place. Nothing could ever be more humiliating than to be found compromised like a couple of teenagers.

I pulled my hands from Jax and slid off of his lap. When I turned, I looked directly into the shocked and burning eyes of one of the most respected leaders of my clan.

"I'm glad to see you two have taken this partnership between our clans to heart."

Every word hit like an individual punch to my gut. Tears of humiliation bit my eyes. Jax stood to his feet, grabbing my arm to help me up. But his touch burned like the fire in my cheeks. I ripped away, only embarrassing myself further.

"Can I speak with you alone, Ashton? It's about clan business."

I winced and started to walk forward, refusing to turn to look at Jax. Followed silently after Lote through a maze of halls and what felt like an eternity of time.

When we entered the room where he'd set up his things, he pivoted sharply on his heel. Gone was the silence and the shock. "What the hell was that?"

I couldn't breathe. "I–"

"You can't explain. There is no explanation for what I just saw. Of all people, I never expected–"

"I know." I shouted it to overcome his voice. "You asked me a question so let me answer."

He slammed his palm against the wall, but I didn't let it rattle me. I'd been caught off guard and hit while unarmed. Now, though, I couldn't accept any excuses to not compose myself. "He's our enemy, woman!"

"He's Jaxon." I breathed in deeply, the fire that had been burning in my cheeks spreading into my heart. Yes, I'd never thought I would do this either. That didn't mean it was a terrible mistake. "You wanted us to fight together, bleed together, serve this Valley together. You expected us to work as a team. I never would have gotten to him as a man if you hadn't insisted on us putting aside our differences."

"It's my fault you're in bed with our enemy?"

"No, it's your fault I had the chance to see who he really is. Jaxon is not my enemy."

If anything had surprised Lote all night, it had to be this. While he'd been angry before, now worry crept into his voice. "Do you hear yourself? Jaxon is one of the most powerful warriors in their guild. He has personally overseen missions that hurt us."

"Just like I have for them. It doesn't mean that Jaxon and I are at odds. It's our guilds that are at odds."

"And you have sworn your heart and soul, your life, to your guilds. That means that you cannot be together. You cannot give any of yourself to him."

I stepped closer, never one to allow him to intimidate me, or to pretend that just because he'd mentored me, just because I owed so much to him, that I didn't have a voice in this relationship. If he'd taught me anything, it was that I should never surrender my power to someone else. "I can and I have. Jaxon is a good man. I never would have known that if we hadn't fought together. There's a way for our guilds to make peace. I see it now, because we made peace."

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Lote listened without interrupting and then without warning he barked out a laugh, one that continued, and swelled, and reverberated off the stone walls. He leaned forward and gasped in a breath. "You're serious, aren't you? Our guilds can make peace because you found it in yourself to fuck our enemy?"

"It's not just fucking."

"Perfect. I'm so thrilled to hear it is more than that. You realize this compromises us? He could be a spy. He could be working you. Even if he isn't, they could use him to get to you or to us. You can't trust yourself not to be manipulated because no one can be on guard every second of their life."

It wasn't something I could argue with. I hadn't expected Lote to walk in on us, so clearly I could not account for all possibilities. What was he even doing here when he was supposed to be at war halfway across the coast? "Fine. I admit that's a problem. It doesn't change the fact that this war between our guilds has been hurting us and maybe it doesn't have to."

"You're acting like a silly girl. I'm embarrassed for you."

Claws of pain tore into my chest. I sucked in a breath, struggling to keep my emotions from swelling again. "When have I taken anything for myself?"

"Don't start that. You aren't a martyr."

"I'm serious. What have I done that is just for me? You lean on me because I'm consistent and I'm dedicated. That's why you're so shocked. Open your mind for one moment and consider what I'm saying."

"We've tried peace, Ashton. We're not fools. There cannot be peace right now. They aren't willing to compromise and we can't either, not for what they want. None of their demands are reasonable. No matter what, you and Jaxon are enemies, unless you plan to betray our guild."

I dug my nails into my arms, holding them close over me. "I didn't plan for this to happen. I never meant to fall for him."

Lote shook his head and groaned. "No, Ashton."

I hadn't meant to say that. I hadn't fallen for Jaxon. We had feelings for each other and were enjoying each other's company. I'd finally convinced myself to open up to him. That hadn't been what I'd meant to say. Right?

Shoulders loose now, Lote walked to his chair, fell into it, and then indicated with his hand for me to sit as well.

"This is worse than I thought," he said.

"I didn't mean it like that."

He rolled his eyes and grabbed a drink off the nearby table, muttering to himself. "Of course, you didn't."

"I haven't given away any kind of information that could hurt us and I've been with him every second of the day. I know that he hasn't been reporting on me or anything."

"You've given away that one of our top officers can be swayed into bed with an enemy. That you can be made a fool of."

A swell of power plumed in my chest and nearly unleashed. Lote watched me for several seconds with warning in his eyes. Losing control of my temper would not help my case and make me seem in control. I closed my eyes for several seconds to calm myself down.

"That's unfair."

"It doesn't matter. That's going to be their assessment. I'm sure you have such a special connection. Doesn't matter. This is war."

"Why is it? Why is it war? Because what we're fighting right now along the border, that's an actual war. So why should we be fighting a guild that serves the same kingdom?"

"We don't serve the same kingdom. They have ideals for our kingdom that we cannot support. Given the chance, they would take us in a direction we can't stand for."

"Any direction where we aren't in control of the Valley is one you won't accept."

Lote's upper lip curled. "A few months with this man and you're already buying into his lies."

"You know that I've always thought we needed to move toward peace. I'm quick to fight. Too quick. Even I can see it."

"None of this matters. You need to gather your belongings. You're going home."

I shot out of my chair, voice raising without my control. "No, I can't do that. I am not leaving our people here to fight without me."

"You did this to yourself and to them. I cannot possibly let you stay after this. I won't discuss it."

"Lote–"

"Ashton, this is a direct order. Pack your fucking things and go the fuck home. You and that man are finished, unless you want to turn in a letter of resignation."

A letter of resignation had might as well been a death warrant because surviving in this valley alone could kill anyone and someone as high up in the guild as me wouldn't make it a day by myself. I'd be a target for literally every guild and kingdom in the Valley. Even in neighboring regions.

"I know that I shouldn't have engaged with him while we're away at war, not when we're from opposing guilds. I should have worked it out with our leadership first. Sending me home though–"

"You're delusional, Ashton. Or just way more naive than I ever thought possible. No one in this guild would ever let you be with him in any way and under any circumstances."

"I can only bleed with him."

"Yes. You can only bleed with him because unless someone is fucking bleeding there is no reason for us to ever have anything to do with those damn people."

What more could we possibly say? I wheeled around from him and left without being dismissed, because fuck him. Fuck him for not trusting me at least a little after all that we'd been through and all that I'd done. I slammed the door shut and stomped down the hall with hot tears burning my eyes. My power beat at chest in sync with my heart, desperate to escape.

I was rushing so fast and was so distracted by my rage that I almost didn't see Elias until running into him. I skidded to a stop.

"Ash," he said.

"What… What are you doing here?"

Then, I saw it all. I saw everything in his eyes like a written confession. I knew him too well not to.

The realization tore me in two. It felt like my stomach had been tangled in knots and my heart shredded. "It was you," I whispered.

"Let's talk." The desperation in his voice would have gotten me at any other time.

"Oh, you do not want to talk to me." I shoved past him and continued for my room.

He was foolish enough to pursue. "Ash–"

I turned as fast as lightning, my body glowing with power now, nearly nursing out of control. "Not now."

He gaped at me, hurt and sorrow heavy on his strained face.

He said nothing else as I walked away.