In the morning while we continued to sail toward the summit, Arn offered to watch Finn and let Elsie stay to spend the day alone with the kids so Nash and I could have our time alone like we did once a week.
But, Leif couldn't resist complaining, of course. He took the baby from me and cast a look at me. "Must be nice to rule an entire kingdom and get to order everyone to take care of your kids. Must be nice–"
"Here we go," I said.
"Having a date every single week."
I watched Leif patiently while he finished.
"Must be so nice. Is it?"
"Yes," I said. "It's so nice."
Looking unhappy with my lack of reaction, Leif looked between Nash and me. "You're like a couple of kids and it's been how many years now? You should be ashamed of yourselves."
"You know I said I'd watch your kids any time." I hooked Nash's arm and took a step back. "Just ask."
"You don't have time to watch my kids. You don't have time to watch your own kids. Get out of here." He waved the back of his hand at me while he bounced Finn with the other. "Your parents don't know how good they have it. You're going to end up with as many brothers and sisters as my kids have."
I smirked and nudged Nash toward the door. Leif loved watching Finn, no matter what he said, and he loved that Nash and I were happy. If he knew what we actually did every week, he might not be so happy then. Not with the security system out there and his threat hanging over our heads Any time I tested the limits of the gods, I feared he may appear again.
But I couldn't speak of such things with the gods listening. I'd given them permission to watch my life closely to earn the avatar and return home after Dr. Henderson killed me. If I wanted to hide anything from them, I needed to do it carefully during the few times of privacy given to me. Usually, I forgot that they watched, because their computer program catalogued my life and they only cared to actually observe the most important things for themselves. They just wanted their precious data.
What Nash and I had been doing the last three years would certainly be something they'd take the time to watch. So we needed to know for certain they wouldn't be able to observe. That meant no one else could know. Only Nash and me.
I did enjoy our weekly date even if it wasn't the time together everyone else thought it was. We always started with something nice together, like a meal, or a walk. Something convincing. At some point, we'd return home, and Nash would kiss me, or I'd tug him along to our room. Today we spent time watching the ocean before returning to our suite.
Once inside, Nash tossed his shirt on the ground and ambled back toward our room. I smiled, taking a moment to watch him. I never got tired of being with him.
When I followed him in, he took my arms as soon as I entered and kissed me deeply enough to tempt me to forget about our plans.
We settled on the bed and I pushed against his chest, my gaze falling down his whiskered cheeks and his long curls lying against the pillow.
"You can't distract me this time," I said.
Nash lifted, capturing my lips with his again. "I won't."
Snorting, I shoved him back down and rolled onto my side, nestling back against him. But the tingle of his kiss burned against my mouth and I couldn't help drawing him to him for one more.
"Now we work?" he asked.
"Yes, Nash, now we work."
"I suppose that's the responsible decision."
Even though I rolled my eyes, my fingers trailed lightly along the curve of his shoulder and down his chest. The feel of his smooth skin warmed me deep inside, making me feel as close as when we connected. The gods would no longer be able to see us. We could talk freely.
"I still want to go back to the very beginning," I said.
"We're getting closer."
"It's hard to navigate, but I feel like we're close."
It always felt bittersweet to do this. For years after we first talked about it while lying in bed, we struggled to figure out how to do it. But ever since, we never stopped. We needed to learn everything we could to protect our world from the gods, the security system, and any other threat we didn't know about yet. This summit only made it more important because I thought finding the path forward might come from looking back to the beginning.
I laced my fingers with his and closed my eyes. "Ready?"
"Yes," he said.
Taking in a deep breath, I focused very deeply, after all this time still finding it incredibly hard to do just right. Soon, the slipping feeling came over me, and I no longer felt his hand in mine.
----------------------------------------
Wind whispered through the tall grass. Here in the flatlands there was nothing to stop it and it could turn from gentle to furious very quickly.
I crawled along with my party but I searched the perimeter, thinking about my best opening. I'd felt the same way as on the Mountain of the Gods the last time I ventured this close to the temple and I needed to know why. It was a tiny temple that I doubted was very important to the Flatlander Prophet. More a place for local villagers to give their offerings than anything actually used for official business. But the tiniest warmth of the flame inside me sparked when I was here, just like on the Mountain of the Gods. I needed to get inside that temple and see what was drawing me there. See what was stoking my sealed power.
I didn't like knowing that I'd be leaving my people during the battle, but we had such an advantage. I knew that they'd be fine. Once we received the all clear to continue from the scouts, we stood up and marched across the field toward the trees. As soon as we were in the thick of the woods, I darted to the right to escape to the temple.
Leif caught my forearm and dragged me backward. I fell against his burly chest, grunting in frustration.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked.
"I was about to ask you that," he said.
"I told you–"
"Didn't we agree it was a stupid plan?"
"No." I jerked my arm away from him. "I never agreed. Apparently, you assumed."
"Why do you need in there so badly?"
It wasn't that I didn't trust Leif. I didn't want to put him in more danger when we all lived under so much danger already. "It's a dad thing." Leif knew to never ask questions when I said that.
Though what I said gave him pause, this time it didn't silence him entirely. "It's too dangerous. Wren and I will go with you."
"You will not. You're my cover. Go fight and act like I was there."
"You'll get yourself killed. They put their best warriors on the temple. What if one of them has power?"
"They're not wasting a disciple on this temple. Why would one be here? It's in the middle of nowhere." I stepped backward and raised a hand to keep him away. "Let me go, Leif. I'll be fine."
He shook his head, but finally he growled and turned away from me. "I'm coming for you if you aren't back by the time battle is over." He spoke as he walked away.
Sighing in relief, I quickly stole through the trees and hiked to the temple. By the time I reached the hill overlooking the small holy place, the sun sank into the horizon. I spotted the warriors patrolling and prepared my bow and arrow.
Once I started, I couldn't stop. I flexed my fingers and rolled my shoulders, breathing in deeply. The grass tickled my arms as I stretched out along the hill, aimed my arrow, and eyed my first target. For a full minute, I watched the movement of the warriors guarding the temple and tracked how they moved. Several stood still, while others milled about.
I chose the one walking the fastest and let my arrow fly.
Swiftly, I knocked another and shot for the head of the man next to him. Reached for another.
I moved so quickly that as the first man collapsed on the ground, the second joined him only seconds after. My arrow thudded through another skull before anyone spotted me.
Four more to go.
Letting out a cry, I peeled off arrows faster than I ever remembered doing so. One woman cut my arrow down in the middle of the air and dodged backward, but my third arrow sank into her throat.
I sensed that lingering even another moment would provide my enemy with too much time to attack. I shoved myself backward and flattened on the ground, rolling sideways as soon as I landed. As I sprang to my knees, two arrows lodged into the ground where only moments before I had shot. There was a sniper somewhere. Scanning the temple and the surrounding area, I saw no signs of anyone with a bow and arrow. I hadn't been able to see which direction the arrows came from.
Ducking low, I sprinted down the hill in a jagged, sideways run. Arrows followed my tracks and then one bit the grass right in front of me. There was more than one person shooting and they aimed from ground level. I expected them to come from the temple.
Diving into the tall grass, I wheeled around to face the direction one of the arrows came, trusting myself to find the source by the time I prepared my next arrow. Sunlight glinted off the tip of an arrow, flying right for me. I rolled off my shoulder, drew my bowstring, and shot on instinct alone. After so much time fighting with the bow and arrow, I quickly tracked the location of shots, and didn't need to spend a great deal of time thinking about the trajectory. I felt the path of the arrows like I did the wind.
I didn't hit, but the fact that the next arrow crashed aimlessly into the middle of the field told me I came close enough to force them to pull their shot at the last moment.
Not wanting to waste my advantage, I fired two more shots rapidly. Both arrows cut through the chest of a man kneeling in the field.
That left three warriors and at least one more sharpshooter.
I sprinted toward the enemy warriors and drew my sword, slashing an arrow down. There was only one place safe to turn to with this sniper and that was close to other warriors, where it would be hard to hit me without endangering them.
The three warriors raced for me. I clashed with one and ducked beneath the swing of his sword. His strike was powerful, but his movements sluggish. I jabbed my sword up toward his side as I ran past him, slicing the skin at his ribs in a flash of blood. Without slowing down to try to kill him, I converged on the next warrior. A black haired woman roared as she leapt forward, her long sword skimming the edge of mine. I pivoted on my heel and braced my sword against my arm to block her next strike.
The man I'd grazed lunged for me. Leif's warning looped through my mind. I lived each day acutely aware of my lack of power and yet I still acted as if I wielded it.
I kicked the woman in the gut at the same moment that I blocked another strike. Instead of following through on an opening I made, I wrenched my bow from my back, and shot the charging man in the face. His surprised eyes widened as he slowed, a trembling hand rising to the arrow sticking through his cheeks.
He slammed into the ground.
The woman cried out and attacked without discipline. Fueled by emotion. The third warrior, who had been the furthest away, approached. I couldn't waste any time on this fight. Not as the fatigue of fighting so ferociously and facing so many warriors grabbed at my muscles.
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The fury and grief of the woman seemed to consumed her so much that while her attacks were more powerful, she couldn't anticipate my moves. She wasn't thinking. Only slashing blindly. I parried a hit and buried my sword in her gut. Kicked her body against the final warrior who ran for me.
We exchanged several blows before he struck me so hard I feared my blade my fly from my grip. The fatigue was getting to me. I sidestepped another and then surprised him by drawing my bow and arrow. He pivoted to block my shot successfully, but I peeled off another that lodged in his foot. Crying out, he lunged for me, and I shot the next one in his chest, finishing him off.
I fell against the wall of the temple and strained to draw breath into my tight chest. The blood of my enemies slickened my hands. I wiped my palms against my tunic and cleaned the handle. What would Leif say to me now? That it wasn't too late to turn back?
I gritted my teeth as I straightened. I needed my power back. I'd made up my mind to stop at no lengths to regain it. If it killed me, then it killed me. Better to die fighting for my people than to give up and watch the Prophet of the Valley destroy us all by forcing us into this war with the Flatlanders. I hated being forced to fight for him, much less invade our neighbors. He reasoned that they first tried to invade us and that we needed to strike before they did. He just wanted to take their villages, like he'd taken mine seven years ago. I couldn't wait to get my power back and kill him.
When I entered the temple, I expected guards to immediately charge me, but the hall at the entrance was completely empty. Quiet.
I stepped through the door into a long hallway with several doors leading to two large doors at the end. I opened each as I passed, finding empty rooms as well. One looked like a storage room for the guards. Another an empty bedroom. The third housed religious icons like incense and robes.
When I reached the two large stone doors, I stopped. A creepy feeling stirred in my stomach. Where was everyone?
I pushed open the doors of the inner room just enough that I could kick them the rest of the way so that I could have my bow and arrow ready. My eyes adjusted to the torchlight of the inner room.
One lone warrior stood in the middle of the large room.
He studied me as I took another step into the room, my arrow aimed at him. I didn't see any other doors. Could this really be it? He was the only one in here? Tall and broad with thick muscle evident beneath his tunic, he certainly looked like a threat, but enough of one to justify not placing another guard inside?
Offerings lined the back wall. Food, gold, armor, and weapons. Something smelled sweet, mixing with the smoke of the torches.
I expected the warrior to lunge forward at any moment and race toward me like the other warriors or to draw a long-ranged weapon. Instead, he stood still as a stone statue, a sword gripped calmly and confidently in each hand. His stance looked deceptively like not a stance at all, like he only held his weapons. I noticed in the subtleties of his posture, the twist of his wrists, the way he leaned forward slightly against his foot, that he was prepared to respond to any attack I made.
How could there only be one man guarding the most important room of the temple? Then again, if not for our army attacking, I never would have made it to the temple to begin with, and they may not have expected any outsider to get so close. The warriors guarding the perimeter likely planned to deter villagers and other locals who may try to get away with stealing from the offering to the gods. The real defense of this temple was the one our army had broken through.
Still, only one man?
"Did you lose your way from the battle?" the lone warrior asked.
It unnerved me how relaxed he sounded. Relaxed and even amused.
I eyed the identical swords again. This was a first. I might have laughed and assumed him a performer if not for the lethal look in his eyes. I didn't need to see him attack to know what a threat I faced. His stare said it all.
"Will you help me find my way if I am?" I asked.
A smirk twisted his full lips. He glanced down me quickly, settling on my blade. "That's a lot of blood. I think it's best to keep you here."
"Don't assume that's up to you." Clearly he didn't intend to strike first or even step toward me. It allowed me more time to catch my breath, but I figured it still advantaged him more. He would force me to give him the opportunity to study the way I moved before I could do the same.
Fine. I wasn't known for patience. I rushed toward him, intently watching for his first movement. Three steps to go and still he hadn't budged. I slid by his side, conservatively protecting myself with my sword as I attempted to rake it across his ribs like I had with the warrior in the field.
He shifted slightly to the side, angling back, sword merely twisting ninety degrees. It was enough for him to deflect my strike entirely. Instead of skidding to a stop and pivoting for him like I'd need to do if I engaged him directly, I continued running past him right for the altar.
It stunned me how quickly he matched my speed and carved his blade through air right before me. Instinctively, I wanted to slow down, but I remembered his second sword, and jumped to the side instead.
Both blades cut through the air where my throat had been.
My heart lodged in my throat as I ripped my own sword up to deflect his next strike. His twin swords sprang through the air too fast to track properly. I stumbled back a step, shocked by the strength and speed of his attack when he moved so conservatively. He made it look effortless, but it was anything but.
Suddenly I understood why a single man guarded this room. He wasn't simply a warrior but a master of his swords.
Plenty of my comrades envied my sword fighting skills, but I wasn't a master of blades. Without drawing my bow entirely in front of me, I ripped it beneath my arm and drew the string back just enough to snap an arrow at his feet.
He sidestepped, drawing his swords back to him in a subtly defensive motion. I'd surprised him this time.
I learned a great deal by the reactions of my opponents, whether anger or fear might tighten their expression after I forced them back on their heels. This man smirked. He smirked and snapped both his blades for me.
As much as I hated retreating, he gave me no option except to continue moving backward to avoid his blades. I feared that a direct strike would easily break my guard. I needed a different approach if I wanted to win.
I fended off his advances, but sensed he only tested me rather than actually attempted to kill me. It felt like he was toying with me. But why?
The stare of his focused, amber eyes drilled mine between the clashes of our swords, so deep and intent it felt as if he tried to read my mind. No matter how quickly I moved, he followed seamlessly.
Burning heartbeats pounded in my chest.
Curls bounced against his face as he broke through my guard and forced me to pivot.
It gave me a precious second to rip my bow from back and nock an arrow. There wouldn't be time to actually raise it and aim. He instantly turned for me with his swords striking like snakes. I threw myself back onto my ass to avoid his counterstrike and shot as I fell.
The arrow pierced his bicep and splattered blood into the air. The force of the hit knocked the left side of his body back so the thrust of his swords fell short of me. Damn it, even throwing myself down, he still managed to almost hit me.
Without slowing down from the hit, he slid across the ground on his knees with his blades biting up at me from the ground.
I rolled off my shoulder, but I couldn't dodge it in time. The sharp edge of one sword cut deeply into my side and sliced me open. I shoved myself into a roll, landing with my sword drawn to defend myself.
My side screamed with pain. Hot blood gushed.
Instead of rising back up to attack me with a full advantage, the guard had thrown himself across the ground for me. He landed a moment after I did, his twin blades baring down on my sword so hard I had to withdraw to keep my own blade from carving through my body.
I kicked the blade from his injured arm, finally managing to slow him down when he jerked from the hit, his arm falling limp. But he still didn't stop going after me. He was relentless. He caught the swing of my blade with his sword and grabbed me with his injured hand.
I grimaced, stomach tense. Pain consumed my world. Panic. I fought with all I had and still I was lying on my back, struggling to manage each attack.
"Listen." His chest heaved as he struggled for breath, face strained with pain. His bloodied hand held my wrist above my head while he fended off my blade with his injured arm. "One of us is going to die and the other will be gravely injured."
My nostrils flared and summoned the strength to push harder against him, earning a grunt from him. "You're going to die."
"I don't have time for serious wounds right now." Despite the wound and all the blood he'd lost, he managed to force my blade further down. "Do you?"
What the hell? Was this some kind of negotiation? "No, that's why I'm going to kill you."
He shoved my blade so low it nicked my neck. I slammed my forehead into the softness where his shoulder met his chest near the arrow in his arm and pushed my sword back toward him, almost reaching his chest.
With a growl, he released my wrist to grab the handle of my sword and wrenched it free of my grasp. I knocked his own away from him and slammed my elbow into his temple. We wrestled for control on the ground. I couldn't think past the pain screaming from my side and blindly attacked.
I grabbed the arrow sticking out from his arm just as his large hand wrapped around mine. We froze, staring at one another, the slight pressure on our injuries just enough to keep the pain alive but not immobilizing.
"You obviously are doing something important," he said. "I have important things to do too. So let's stop."
"Do you really believe I'm going to trust you?"
"No. We'll back away from each other and take our weapons."
I didn't want to concede. It felt like losing. "I'm not leaving here without what I came for. I don't care what it costs me." Except I still didn't know what that was. I didn't feel the warmth in me at all, even when I was so desperate to draw upon it to kill this man.
"Fine." He released my wound and slowly pushed off of me. "I don't care."
I blinked, losing the few seconds I had to successfully attack before he retrieved his weapon. Scrambling for my own sword, I scooted across the ground and grabbed it. He knelt above me and reached a scarlet hand down to me, his sword at his side. I narrowed my eyes at his hand. What if he pulled me into his sword? No way.
I dragged myself up to my knees and leaned against my sword, my world spinning. He leaned against his as well, both of us prepared to fight should the need arise.
"What do you mean you don't care?" I asked.
"I mean I don't care."
He snapped the arrow protruding from his arm and reached around the otherside to rip it free with a low growl. Blood poured from his wound. He gripped his bicep and lowered his head, the muscles in his jaw bunching. I stiffened, staring at the broken and bloody arrow on the ground. It took a lot of self-discipline to remove one of those himself.
"The gods aren't real," he said with a tense voice. "These offerings are meaningless."
"So why are you guarding them?"
"It's my duty. For now." He fell back against the wall and sank down. "We'll make a deal. I let you take it and you don't tell anyone I did." He raised his head, brows knitting. "You need to rest. You're going to pass out."
My vision swam, but I refused to admit it. "I'm fine."
"You're stubborn is what you are. Here. I'll move down. You sit." He shoved his foot against the ground to put more space between us. A swath of blood stained the wall behind him.
"Don't you care that I killed your people?" Reluctantly, I sat back against the wall and nearly slid completely to the ground. With the high of the battle wearing off, the immense pain threatened to immobilize me. I felt so weak.
"Those aren't my people." He pulled his tunic over his head, gasping when he pried the material from his bicep. Sweat dapple his skin and blood ran all the way down both sides of his arm to drip from his fingers. His thick chest moved deeply with each heavy breath.
I averted my eyes and looked down to the blood stain spreading all the way to my pants. Not good.
The guard's arm lay limp in his lap as he bit the collar of his tunic and ripped it with his good arm. A few more tears and he ripped the garment in two. "Loss of life is always a shame." He tossed half of his tunic to me. It landed on top of my feet. "It means no more to me than whoever you lost in battle today, though."
I lifted the clothing and stared at the bloodstains that belonged to us both. Was this all a ruse to get me to let my guard down? My stomach tightened as he tied the makeshift bandage around his wound. I did the same, my hands trembling as I forced myself to tie it as tightly as I could.
The pain must have silenced him as it did to me. I didn't have the breath to speak or to question this strange, enigmatic man. I'd never had a fight end like this. Nothing close to this.
I struggled to hold onto consciousness, knowing that nothing would stop him from killing me. Despite this, I didn't believe he would. For some reason, I thought he was telling the truth.
"What's your name?" I asked weakly.
He looked at me, pale and exhausted. "Nash. Yours?"
"Max."
The slightest smile lifted the left corner of his lips. "Max. No one else has ever drawn my blood inside this temple…"
My view of him doubled. The torchlight dimmed.
"Don't die," he said. "It'd be a shame. You're too good of a warrior…"
Questions that I didn't have the strength to ask burned. I entered this battle already worn down and sleep deprived. This man, this Nash, proved too great a foe to fight a state like that. I told him I was going to kill him before, but I thought he would have actually killed me. As my vision waned and the feeling fled my body, I realized that by offering to stop, he wasn't calling a truce. He was offering me my life. Because I was losing consciousness now and he wasn't. I was the one losing.
Why he hadn't wanted to kill me, I didn't know.
I woke from our forgotten dreams–our stolen lives–with my cheeks wet and my arms already clutching Nash.
Knowing Dr. Henderson stole entire lives from us and witnessing them were so different. Grief consumed me at the thought of how the story ended for those two people we once were and the understanding that we'd actually lived through it. Our lives had been filled with suffering and love, thousands of days lived and thousands of days lost. Traveling to our past lives set something right inside of me. It gave voice to the whispers of a past that had echoed through my entire life, but it also awakened a depth of grief I otherwise wouldn't know.
Nash and I always awoke from living through our stolen lives solemn and quiet. We'd lie quietly together after, not speaking because what words could even scratch the surface?
Every time it left me tempted to travel back to the day I ripped Dr. Henderson's life away with my sword, but I never did. I didn't want to spend one more moment with her than I had to. She'd taken enough time from me.
"We found it." Nash's quiet voice rooted my mind back in our world, our lifetime, and plunged me into the pain of all we'd once lost. The anger of it. "The true first time we met."
"Those two don't know what's coming. We didn't know what was coming." I looked up into eyes filled with lifetimes worth of both love and grief. "What is coming for us now that we don't know about yet?"
"That never leads anywhere good for anyone, especially you, Max."
Piercey continued to monitor and treat my anxiety so I controlled it much better. It would never leave though and an unknown future, especially cast in the fear of all that awaited us, allowed the anxiety in me to grow out of control.
"I know," I said. "I just can never shake it. Twice before we lived like we are now and things weren't okay."
"We're in a very different position than we've ever been."
I nodded. He was right. Dr. Henderson no longer supervised our world or tinkered with our lives and we ruled a thriving kingdom. Nash and I built a life together I doubted I ever could have imagined in this life or any other. "I'm just so sad for them."
Nash squeezed me and stroked his fingers along my back. "Me too. I could tell the man I used to be anything," he whispered. "I'd say this. You'll get more of her this way. You'll get more with her than a single life could contain. You'll lose it all, but you'll win it back, and more."
I turned my face against the soft crook of his arm and struggled to hold in the sob that bit into my throat. Nash and I could never undo the death Dr. Henderson threw upon our world, but we could build something she would never be able to touch.
"We have to keep going," I said. "There's something Dr. Henderson never wanted us to remember. I'm sure of it."
"We'll keep going."