I'd made it to the after-life, whatever that really was. Wasn't trapped in an eternal slumber, at least. Unless, so much time had passed that my world had ended and I'd been salvaged from some kind of permanent death.

I shot up on lavender covers stretched tightly over the soft bed beneath me.

"Good morning." Soft eyes met mine. “Take it slow.”

It wasn't Dr. Henderson, not unless she’d disguised herself. The smile was so genuine and kind, it was hard to imagine the god of my world managing it.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"That's what I wanted to ask you." Despite the concern on her expression, there was no malice in her voice. Any suspicion she had didn't seem to make her distrust me. I wasn't accustomed to such a trusting disposition. "Do you know where you are?"

The soft yellow walls closed in on me as I looked around. Natural light poured in from the floor-length windows and bathed the sparse room in so much life that it felt full even though there was nothing more than the bed I lay upon, the chair this woman sat on, and a nightstand with flowers.

When I didn't speak, the woman softened her voice even more. "Waking up can be hard on a person,” she said. “My name is Dr. Drake. I’m here to help you."

I tensed at the title of doctor, and then winced, expecting the searing pain from my wounds. Except there was nothing. My injuries from the Prophet were entirely gone. My hands slid down my body, searching for the rips in my skin. Again, nothing.

"I'm healed," I said.

"In a way."

"I died." I didn't need confirmation. I remembered dying. Felt dead, like I’d left an entire life behind. Muted grief panged the hollow drum of my chest. I’d lost my life, my world. Lost Leif and Wren and little Rune. Lost Piercey and Elsie. Nash. Maybe I had a chance to win them back, but it didn't feel like it. Even though I'd chosen this and I planned to find a way back to my world, right now it felt like pure loss.

"Yes,” Dr. Drake said. “Only people who have died come here. But you're safe."

"Here." I sat up, waiting to feel weakness or pain. I never did. "This is the after-life."

“Yes. We call it different things for different people depending upon your cultural and religious beliefs. You came in unexpectedly. I didn't receive any information on you and I don't take memories without permission. It would help me a great deal if you could share a few things with me.”

“First I need to know who you are.” I stared into her eyes.

“I’m the supervisor of this realm of the after-life. I help people wake up from death and serve as a guide for them as they live here.”

I’d known that when I came here, it would be impossible for me to know for sure whether I could trust people and that at the end of the day, I had to go with my instinct. Just like when I chose to ally with Nash.

“My name is Max. I come from a world that’s at war and a people who need me to find my way back.”

Even though I'd kept my memories in the after-life, this place had a numbing effect on me, and I hadn't even realized until this moment, when the look of pain in her eyes drew upon my own grief lying beneath the surface within me. My emotions were tamer here. My memories in the backdrop. And Dr. Drake pitied me for thinking I could return home.

“I see which world you came from. From what I read, it does seem you’ve been through a great deal.”

I shifted. "How much time has passed since I died?"

"Six days. It takes a person time to adjust to death. I woke you up slowly. Time is the same here for you as it is in your home world, so long as you want it to be. I can slow it for you if you'd like."

"Yes, please. Make it as slow as you can." Relief soothed the fire within me. She could be lying, but if she wasn't, it meant that my plan worked. I'd escaped from my world and remembered my life in time to help everyone.

Her brows piqued. "You don't want to tell me more. I felt that from you. You're afraid that you can't trust me." She eased a little closer. "It's okay. I would feel the same. Do you want to hear more about me and this world? Would that help?"

My eyes snapped to her. I searched for any sign of evil lurking within her. This was how Dr. Henderson should have been. Kind and wise and caring. I couldn't help but fear that this woman was only a more conniving version of the god lording over my world. Maybe she, too, had been cursed by death and lost her way. Only she was just better at covering it up.

"Max?"

"You're too kind."

Dr. Drake crossed one leg over the other. "Kindness is very important in my job. I usher people from death into new life. I help them find peace."

"Peace and death don't go together. I don’t think I could feel peace here."

“People don’t remember their life normally. Not at first. The pain isn't so great and so peace is easier to find. It’s very odd that you do. You traveled here unauthorized. You haven't been processed. It's very unique."

"Why do you steal people's memories?"

She sat back. "People can remember any time they want to. It's too traumatic to wake up here, remembering everything, and then figure out what's going on."

"Or they're too hard to control. They might figure out you're keeping them in this little bubble called after-life while there's an entire digital universe out there."

Dr. Drake paused. "You know quite a bit."

"I do. Enough to know that stealing memories and saying people can have them back if they want is manipulative." The thought of Nash's arms around me flooded me with grief. "They don't know what it is they're missing. If they did, they'd want it back."

"They do have impressions of their life. Feelings they had. The sense of loved ones. The sense of memories they would rather forget. Each person has their own path to enlightenment. Some never want it. They are content to live here forever. But as soon as someone wants to remember everything, they can. And if they want to learn the truth, that this world is created and there's more out there, they can. They can leave the after-life and join the rest of society."

I straightened. “Really?"

"Yes. This isn't a prison. It's a safe place to transition from the physical world and the short life of the flesh to the digital world and the eternity of our lives here."

As much as I didn't want to, I saw the logic. "I think it's better to remember, even if it hurts."

"We've tried that before. This intervention came about after a great deal of studying. Our current system was voted upon solely by people who currently live in the after-life and who reached enlightenment and joined the rest of our society. I don't make the rules. Although, I do agree with them. However, some share your views. Each person is unique."

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

I wanted to hate her so badly, because she shared the doctor in Dr. Henderson, and because she clearly was a part of the society that chose to make my world into an experiment. But my heart was slipping and I'd always lived by instinct.

"You care." I swallowed hard. "You care about the people here."

"I wouldn't do this job otherwise. I can have any kind of life I want. I chose this. I've lived a very long time, but I'm still a person. We all are. We're not so different from you. Only older."

"More powerful."

"There is power that comes with knowledge and access. Experience. So, yes."

"You're a god."

She quieted. "Some do choose to view me that way."

"In a way, people evolved into gods. Do you think some of those gods could be evil?"

The suspicion in her eyes grew. "Max, this is very important. You must have learned about our reality from someone. Was it a person like me?"

"You mean Dr. Henderson?"

It looked like she stopped breathing. “Do you know her?”

"I don't know her well." The lie burned on my lips. "But I am skeptical of people with so much power."

"Perhaps because you have power in your world. We allow people privacy, so I can't see everything about your world, but I do see that you were designated as one of the one percent to receive the neural implant. Did you know that’s where your power came from?”

“Yes.” I studied her reaction, probing her for authenticity. “I know your people created my world as a simulated experiment.”

“Dr. Henderson is not supposed to tell you that.”

I cast my gaze out the window, uncertain of how to move forward from here. I was playing a dangerous game. The most dangerous yet. If I didn't stop Dr. Henderson, she may never release the people I loved from the simulation. She could reset the world hundreds more times and destine the people I loved to endless versions of her hell. Even if she didn't do that, she'd wage wars against anyone who stood in her way. Nash, Wren, and Leif were warriors. They wouldn't stop fighting until they were dead. Dead and never allowed into the after-life.

What if I was trapped here forever without them?

A shaky breath broke from my lips. The distant emotion welled within me again, within reach. "I can't mess this up." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Somehow I find myself with a power no one in my world has ever had right now. What I say here… I'm deciding the fate of my world."

"You have a power that no one in any simulation has ever had. Souls are not released from the simulated worlds until the experiment ends. You're the first one to come here while it is ongoing and to have all your memories. I understand your trepidation."

"Are you a part of your council?"

"Supervisors are not on the council. Some of us continue to work our way up from this position to the council. Some stay here. This is the final step before reaching it. It is a very influential position, but neither I nor Dr. Henderson are part of the council."

I chewed the inside of my cheek. "You talked about privacy. Is our talk private?"

"Absolutely. Everything here is entirely private. You give consent for anything to be shared."

"Even if I tell you something you feel must be shared?"

"Yes. We don't have danger in our society, Max. Privacy is of great concern, however. In such a connected existence, it takes great work to protect that freedom."

"Do you know Dr. Henderson?"

"We've met. I haven't spoken to her since the experiments began. We didn't see eye-to-eye on them."

I leaned forward. "You disagree with the experiments?"

"I do. I want to help people in the physical world as much as anyone else, but I can't justify manipulating people's souls in a simulation just because in the end it creates less suffering. How can a peaceful society create suffering?"

At least one of the gods made sense, unless she was trying to fool me. "Isn't it also wrong to leave people in the physical world to suffer?"

"Yes. That doesn't mean we should create another wrong."

"Apparently you're in the minority."

"I am. Some think that because I have spent so much time in the after-life that I've forgotten suffering. I haven't. I'm reminded of it every day as I usher new souls into this life and as I watch them on their journey here. This power we have is sacred. It should never be used against someone."

Grief twisted my heart so terribly that I suddenly longed to draw her into a hug as if she was one of my own people. My voice came out quiet. "Your council let death into a deathless world. Instead of gods of life, you became gods of death. My world has paid the price."

Worry pinched Dr. Drake's lips. "I know you must be afraid to tell me what happened, Max. I have no way of proving to you that I'm trustworthy. I'm guessing, though, that you came here for a reason. So, I hope you can take a chance on me. I want to help."

I looked down to cover the tears that tempted my eyes. "Dr. Henderson has been corrupted." My stomach tightened. "I don't know when it happened or if she's always been this way. Only that she's fallen into darkness."

"She was a pure soul once. That much I can say for certain. Her fall must have happened during this experiment." Dr. Drake paused. "Can I trust you with something sensitive?"

"Yes. Please."

"She suffered a loss a very long time ago, during a time when so few died. Even later, when she was reunited with her child here, I sensed the pain that lingered. You wouldn't imagine that there could be any pain in such a perfect world. There is, at least, when we choose to remember it. I wonder if the loss made her susceptible."

The thought of Flare carrying Elsie away filled me with revulsion. "Loss doesn't have to corrupt a spirit."

"No, it doesn't."

"I did come here for a reason. I came to share my story. The story of my world. Except that telling you could end my world. If I had any other option, I would take it. I don't. I'm powerless. So, please, don't betray me."

Dr. Drake took my hand gently. "You do have power, Max. I see it in you." She smiled. "Our system does as well. You were marked as a potential candidate for leadership here in this universe. You and a friend whose name I can't see until they come here."

"Someone with power?"

"Yes."

Piercey. I closed my eyes. "It would make sense that he would be. Not me. I'm impetuous and angry."

"Is that why you're here and not him?"

I smiled. "Maybe."

"Well, you weren't marked as individuals, but rather as a team. Together, your wisdom and courage make you rare souls who we might choose to recruit. It's very special."

"Would you have known I was a candidate if I never came here?"

"No. Only once you're in my system. I only know about your friend because I see that you're a team potential, not individual."

Flare's words ran through my mind. She'd trapped me in the simulation so I couldn't leave the after-world. "Could Dr. Henderson trap someone in the simulation and conceal the record of them?"

Dr. Drake drew back. "That would be worse than murder."

"Is it possible? Is it possible because your people are so certain of themselves that they think you'll all stay pure?"

Understanding lit her eyes. At least, I hoped that was the look I was seeing. "We've evolved, Max. There's never been a need for precautions against crimes and evils. I'm sure if she had malice against someone, she could do that though."

I buried my head in my hands, temples throbbing with each heartbeat. Dr. Henderson had planned to leave me dead in the simulation forever. Probably Piercey too. It was the only way to ensure that we never recovered our memories in the after-life. "Would Dr. Henderson know that Piercey and I were potential candidates?"

"Yes. As a supervisor, it's her job to watch over people like you who the computer identifies."

I bit off an angry chuckle. "She wanted me dead. Permanently dead. Because I know too much." I lifted my hand to Dr. Drake. "Take it all. That woman cannot be trusted with my world. I don’t know if I can trust you, but I have learned sometimes it is too dangerous not to trust the person who you need to trust."

She reached for my hand. "You’ve shared memories before. I give you my word I will do right by you."

Dr. Drake took my hand in her soft one. Her presence was so inviting that when we connected, I easily let all of myself slip away to her entirely. I couldn’t even hold onto the fear that this was a mistake.

When she released me, sorrow filled her eyes.

"You're self-aware. You know you were living in a simulation and you tried to make it here. This has never happened before, Max." Tears sprinkled onto her cheeks. Her voice was breathy and urgent. "We must take this to the council. This is worse than you know."

"What if they shut down our world? Dr. Henderson said our experiment is unethical, so if it doesn't yield results, it's only ethical to end it."

"Dr. Henderson has devolved. Her words are not to be trusted. This is evidence that the experiments were a mistake, a terrible mistake, and that we must make corrections. I know you've seen only evil from our world. That is only one grain of sand in a world of goodness."

I rubbed my chest. Sharing with her had brought it all back, so it couldn't be numbed. With my people on the forefront of my mind, I felt so close to the life I had just lost, that no matter how urgent this business was, my mind clouded with grief. I bent forward, memories zapping through me like shots of lightning.

"Hey…" Dr. Drake touched my back. "It's hitting you. Breathe through it."

"I don't have time for this."

"You do. Time is relative. It hasn't passed in your world since we paused the flow of time here. We have time for you."

I clutched my chest. I needed to ask, but I was too afraid of the answer. "Will I…" Sobs gripped my tight shoulders and shook them. "Will I ever get to go home to them?"

Dr. Drake's silence carved down my spine. When she spoke, her voice was heavy. "I don't know of any way to go home, Max. You died in your world. The physics of that world match the physical world. There's no way to resurrect the dead."

I scrambled off the bed, my legs desperate to run, though I had nowhere to go. Fear exploded in my mind. Dr. Drake stumbled out of my way as I pried the window open and clambered out. I landed on soft sand and sprinted forward, sliding with each step. Ocean waves rolled against the shore. I stopped before reaching the lapping water and fell onto my hands and knees. Fell and wept until I couldn't even utter a sound.

Her hand came to my back again and warmth flowed from it, easing me to sleep.