After two weeks of personally humiliating the young commanders and then sending them out to continue training with a new dose of humility, I only felt more aware of their youth. The fresh memories of knocking them to the ground, seeing bruises blooming across their bodies as the days of training wore on, beating them no matter how much they improved and how hard they tried, ruthlessly proving to them that they were not ready for war—the thoughts cut into my heart.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, unable to stop staring at the rain drizzling against the dark window when I needed to plan with Piercey to defend against Malach's threat. "I never thought I could do worse to another person than the instructors did to me."

"They aren't children," Piercey said. "They aren't held against their will. They're commanders who hold the fate of warriors in their hands. This is not the same as what the instructors did to us."

I trailed my finger along the choker, tempted to turn it back on, and to leave it on for days. Tempted to walk this kingdom without power like most of my people did so I could remember how it felt to live like they did. "That's not what I meant." I looked into my own eyes in the mirror, searching the subtle ways I'd changed over the years. Sometimes I didn't recognize my life or myself. And yet I felt I was exactly as I needed to be. "This coming war will be like nothing they've ever seen. They remember hiding while their parents fought for their lives. They don't know what it is to wield the sword in a battle they don't believe they can win. To know that if they fail, the children hiding in their homes will die."

Piercey quieted, looking at me in the reflection of the window.

"How can I send them to bathe themselves in blood?"

He shook his head, pain filling his gaze. "Because how can you not? The alternative is far worse."

"Isn't this what the gods say to themselves? I'll make you suffer so many more will never know your suffering?" I touched the choker again, staring at it against my skin that had paled in the winter's darkness. "Have I become like them?"

"No." Piercey didn't offer an explanation or try to convince me. He merely spoke the one word with such confidence and authority that I couldn't bring myself to question him.

It all haunted me as I continued to train with the others. The threat was too far removed from most people for them to feel it, but it never left it. Even training in the evening with Nash, it distracted me.

Nash's forearm slammed into my gut, powered by his energy. It knocked the breath from my lungs. I barely caught myself before I fell over.

Nash skidded to a stop. "You okay?"

I growled and lunged forward, throwing a punch. "You aren't supposed to stop."

He gave me a look of incredulity as he blocked my hit. "I'm always going to stop."

"This isn't normal training, Nash. Piercey will heal us."

"Fine." He opened his arms. "Stab in the stomach. Prove to us all you can do it."

Leif heckled from his place on the grass and tossed a handful of peanuts into his mouth.

"Just fight me," I said.

Leif rose and dusted off his hands. "I'll fight you, girl."

I pushed Nash away and nodded at Leif. "Good."

"Really?" My husband took a step back. "You're replacing me?"

"Yes," I said. "Until you can fight me properly."

Leif and I fought against each other with no weapons like the old days, except now we both could use our energy to enhance our attacks. Since Leif never showed promise with long-range energy attacks, he was actually the perfect partner for sparring. He reserved his energy for improving his combat rather than creating new skills and I found him very challenging to beat in this kind of a match.

One of his hits broke through my guard and connected with my jaw. I kicked him to create enough distance to recover and spit out a mouth full of blood. Leif didn't relent, charging for me again. I pivoted and evaded a kick.

"See?" I stole my eyes from Leif long enough to glare at my husband.

"Yeah," Nash said with a sigh. "I see."

I jumped and kicked for Leif's head. He blocked, but I heard him wince as he slid across the ground.

"I don't go to war as often as I used to," I said while fighting Leif. "It's important for you to not hold back, Nash. It didn't matter back when we battled every day. It matters now."

"Ma is right."

Leif and I both stopped when we saw Elsie approach.

Stolen novel; please report.

"Hey, Els." I wiped the blood from my mouth. "You're done studying already?"

"Some of the warriors-in-training advanced. There's openings in our village."

Nash responded before I managed to shoot her down. "You're still very young."

"Didn't you hear what Ma said? We're at war. I'm a good fighter. If the war lasts for years and I start training now, I'll be ready to join when you really need more warriors."

I did not care for her logic. "Not this year, Elsie."

"Why not?" Her angry glare cut between her father and me.

"Because you only turned thirteen a month ago," Nash said. "We can look at this next year."

"Why delay my training? It only puts me at risk."

"You aren't ready." I shrugged. "That's the truth, Elsie. You haven't shown the maturity."

Nash looked away, clearly uncomfortable with the harsh response, but unable to deny it.

"What kind of maturity do I need to show?" Tears filled her eyes.

"There's a shift from the thinking of a kid to a teenager, and you're just at the start of that. I'm sorry, but it actually can disadvantage you to start too early. I started too early. It didn't do any favors for me."

"I'm not you. I'm not going to lose control of my power and kill people because I don't have power."

I ignored the sting of her words. "You're training fine enough on your own. Don't bother asking your mom either, because she wants you to wait until you're sixteen to start."

"Sixteen? That's crazy."

"Our word is final," Nash said. "I decide who advances into training. As your father and your war chief, my answer is no. You're not ready."

Elsie looked to Leif but he didn't attempt to argue with us. With a look of betrayal, she spoke with her chin quivering. "Fine."

Then, she turned and ran away.

"I wish she'd stop doing that," I said.

"You were mean." Leif pointed at me. "I'm going to punch you in the face again."

"She needed to hear it. You think I like hurting her feelings?"

"Would you really say the same thing if it was someone else's child?" Leif didn't seem to accuse, but to genuinely ask.

It wasn't something I wanted to think about. "I have a hard enough time letting those of age advance. Let's just keep training."

The passing days brought with them more planning and training.

Each morning that we had time, Nash and I practiced fighting together, rather than sparring.

The cold morning dew left he air heavy and wet. I searched along the warmth surrounding me and deep within myself for his feel, instinctively connecting as soon as the peace of his presence loosened my chest. In the beginning, it took three years of daily practice to connect from only an arm's length away. We stretched our limits now, moving further and further each day.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the world through my eyes, but I sensed it through his like a mirage hovering over my own. I felt the warmth of power sparking in his hands form in my own, the two of us sharing the same attack that fed off the same source of energy. We'd combined ourselves and powers into one. At the same time, we fired on a target only he could see, and I pivoted to hurl another blast at a tree near me. My energy blasted a hole through the trunk and seconds later, his shot inches below mine.

I grinned and relished the intimacy of intertwining our minds, bodies, and perspectives. Our power. It was a physical manifestation of the closeness I felt to him after so many years together.

When we released our connection to one another, a pang of emptiness hit me in my gut. We couldn't connect for too long without exhausting or overstimulating ourselves, and yet letting go of another always hurt a little. Nash's hovering form appeared and he quickly shot through the air, feet drifting above the ground. When he landed, he hooked his arms around my waist and carried me several steps with him as he skidded to a stop.

"Look at that, Sharpshooter." Nash slid his fingers along my palm to open my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. "That's a perfect shot. Mine looks just the same."

"When we started this years, I thought we'd be further along by now."

"This is farther than I could have imagined. You should be less of a visionary like me."

I smirked, but it stung that we hadn't been able to use this in battle yet. Anxiety churned inside of me thinking about countering Malach's threat.

----------------------------------------

Training and preparations continued all over the kingdom while Piercey continued to work on negotiating with neighboring kingdom and Nash led plans for a covert operation.

I'd just returned from meeting with Gael and his team. Soon, Gael would join us, and I couldn't be more thankful to fight alongside someone who'd become a dear friend.

"So that's it?" I asked Nash. "The plans finalized?"

"That's it," he said. "Twenty portals, twenty targets, and two hundred warriors with power. We'll be able to function here while still damaging their infrastructure."

Our spies and scouts had been observing movement from Malach's army for the two weeks. They hadn't reached Skia Hellig yet, but we believed they were preparing for a full march to our kingdom, with a sizeable force only a six day journey away.

"If we destroy some of these weapon caches and take out a few of their commanders, it will really hurt their plans to advance. But if we successfully take over the five villages we targeted, we can portal in more warriors to establish a strong base in enemy territory."

"They'll accuse us of starting the war."

"Does it matter? They're coming for us, Max. Should we wait for them to take the advantage? They're the ones threatening us. You can't give them the benefit of doubt when they'll use it to slaughter our people. We know what Malach intends."

"Then we need to act soon. Too much time has passed. Their army is closer."

"What about Sloane and Demetri coming?" Nash sighed. "I'm more concerned about that."

"I'm not. Piercey worked hard on arranging this meeting. Sloane invited us to her land. She's smart and careful too. If she ever acts, it won't like this. We'd kill her. She isn't the most powerful, just the most cunning. And Demetri is afraid of me."

"We shouldn't trust that anyone will follow the agreements we made at the summit when we're facing such a huge threat from the north."

"I know. We did all agree though. No one is compelled to help the other. We aren't even compelled to not war against each other. But none of us should accept invaders stepping foot in Skia Hellig. Anyone who does, offers their kingdom to be conquered."

"You're right. You're right. It would be self-destructive."