Once the summit ended, I declined the hospitality of the ride at sea and transported us all back to the tower. We met on the floor reserved only for our family to keep our discussion private.

"I don't trust what Malach said about the gods." I closed my arms around myself, fighting the chill again. "I can't place it, but it sounded like it came from someone else."

"You think the gods told him to attack?" Nash asked.

"No. I don't. They believe they're above that." I closed my eyes. "And they can hear us right now. Don't forget that."

"Shit." Markus slammed his fist against the wall so hard he knocked a hole in it.

"That cult disappeared but I know they haven't stopped scheming," I said. "What if it's them? What if they're working with Malach?" I dug my nails into my arms hard enough to scratch my skin. "It never made sense to me why he marched to our lands and didn't attack. I know we said it was a warning over our dispute about trading, but the way he looked at me. I never thought he only wanted to warn me." I closed my eyes. "It was a promise."

"A promise to what?" Piercey asked.

"To kill me." I turned my stare to the window. "It's the first time in eight years I felt that shiver of fear. That little voice inside that said he could do it. I don't know him. I don't know why I felt it." I swallowed hard. "But I do know the eyes of death. Whatever he wants, he won't stop until he has it."

Nash's voice lowered to a growl. "He will never kill you."

I ran my fingers absently along the side of his face. "We're okay."

He grunted quietly in frustration.

"I want to know more about him," I said. "I don't believe we have seen what he's capable of."

"That's because anyone who sees what he's capable of dies," Nash said. "He doesn't leave witnesses to his power. Our research on him has never been complete for that reason."

I clenched my teeth. "Those Prophets following him like puppies have seen it. That means some of their people have too. Don't we have any reliable spies that close to the action?"

"No," Markus said. "It's not easy to keep anyone in lands that far away. We've been busy with Skia Hellig. Malach's kingdom alone is half the size of all of Skia Hellig."

"We should have seen this coming," I said.

"We did." Piercey rubbed his eyes. "We've worried about it for years."

"No, I mean we should have realized that they actually planned to make their move." I shook my head.

"Sometimes war is inevitable." Wren turned from the window. "We're so afraid of it because we love our people and don't want any of them to die. That's not the world we live in. Each of us enters battle prepared to give our lives. We need to accept that from our people as well."

"I don't accept any of you dying," I said.

"That's why you're always exhausted." Wren took my hand and held it with a tender grip. "It's also what our enemies are using against you. They know that every life cost you more than it costs them. Do you think Malach cares about his people? We know rulers like him. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He can hurt you in ways you can't hurt him."

I searched her wise eyes for the answers. "Then tell me what to do, Wren. You always know what to do."

She settled her forehead against mine. "None of us can know what to do. But I know what we shouldn't do." Still holding my hand, she lifted it between us. "Do not let your love for your people turn into fear and do not let that fear kill them."

My eyes closed.

"Prepare for war, Max. Look at all of your options."

"Think of the people we lost against Theus. This will be so much worse."

"Yes," Wren said. "So let's give ourselves the best chance we have. We can't change that war is coming."

"I'll be sending kids barely older than Elsie to die." I started to rip back, but Wren kept firm hold on me.

"Be strong, Max. You're leading the people to save themselves."

Leif's hand came over my shoulder and he settled his arms around us both. The three of dipped our heads together. My circle.

I didn't want to do this. Days like today, I thought I never wanted to do any of it. I told everyone no. I refused to rule this kingdom because of terrible decisions like this.

That was a coward's way out though. I couldn't allow regret to take hold of my heart when we built a kingdom I adored and when my people needed me. They needed me eight years ago and they needed me now.

Giving myself another a few seconds, I lifted my head and looked at two of my oldest friends. Their arms lowered as I turned to Nash.

"Say it." I swallowed hard as I waited for him to say what I sensed he wanted to.

"They're not our children." Pain lined his expression because he loved the people as much as I did. "Not if that will make you hold them back. You have to distance yourself or it will kill us all."

I covered my eyes as the tears started to fall. Nash came to me and let me hide my face against him.

"They can be our children again when the war is over. This is how it has to be."

Of course Nash and I weren't really the mother and father of this kingdom. These people weren't our kids, but when I looked at the young warriors-in-training, they felt like it. It felt like sending Elsie to die.

"Nash," I cried in a hoarse whisper.

"I know." He held me firmly.

"There's no time for this. I need to plan. But I'm afraid to plan because it'll become real. It's hard to think about and even harder to talk about, but once I start digging into the war that is coming and plan for how to get my people through it…" I let my voice fade so I wouldn't cry more. When I could stifle the tears, I spoke quietly again. "People are going to die. I don't want to return to the days of war."

Instead of speaking, Nash held me, keeping me in place like he used to when I'd slip away.

Minutes passed before the warm trails started my cheeks and the thickness filled my chest. I couldn't hold it back and I knew better than to try. "We were making progress. We tasted peace. Now we'll spend years just surviving and trying to minimize our loss of ground."

"Yes," Nash whispered, voice laden with the grief that gripped me. "People will die. We'll be at war, and peace will come only for fleeting moments between battles. We don't know if things will be okay." He gripped me tighter as the sobs started to shake my body. Somehow, he stayed steady and calm. "But we have reason to believe we can win and that our greatest days are ahead of us."

"What if they're behind us?"

He kissed the side of my face. "Then we remember and we grieve. We seize every good thing we have and cherish it. We remember that our people are worth fighting for, that we've done this before, and we're stronger than last time."

"We've done this before," I whispered. "So many times." The words flooded me with both hope and despair like pouring oil into a glass of water. I wasn't sure which feeling to trust or whether maybe both were true. That the relentless cycle of suffering meant this wouldn't be our last war and that we were prepared because we had fought before.

The peace and life I'd enjoyed made me feel the continuing. I was so close to living my life. I was finally finding my path. I didn't want to do this again.

For the first time in my life, I knew I didn't have to. I could take my family, protect what was mine, and run away to peace. I could say I'd served my people longer than I first planned and just live my life.

But that wasn't the life I wanted. I didn't have to fight. I was choosing to. I did not want to take peace for myself when my people didn't have the power to do so for themselves.

I'd bound myself to Nash and Elsie and now our baby. They came first. But I knew Nash already chose to fight the war. I heard it in his resolute voice. I wanted our children to grow up learning true peace and I would never find that by that walking away from this war.

But that didn't mean this had to be like the wars before. I was different now and I had more power. Had more to love and protect and more to take pride in. This time, I would fight the war better than ever before.

If it killed me, then it would be a life given and not a life lost, because I wanted peace for all my people, not just my family.

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"I want new reports on Malach and the other Prophets and to strategize before we report to the wider assembly. I'm telling the assembly immediately."

"You don't want to gather more facts," Piercey asked.

"No. We need to prepare." I wiped my eyes and smoothed my hand over Nash's chest, steadying myself. "There's no time to waste."

It took only hours to gather the assembly with the help of Gael's warriors who were still stationed with us.

I paced before them.

"We don't know what Malach and his allies are planning or even that they plan to declare war." I paced before our assembly and allowed the conflicted emotions storming in my heart to fill my voice, both strengthening and flooding it with all I felt. "But we won't wait for them to make their intentions known. By then, it will be too late. I looked into the eyes of the Prophet Malach and in them I saw death."

The commanders and chiefs, the advisors and council members, all stared at me with faith in my words. No one questioned me or second guessed me. Could their confidence survive a war? A real war against enemies from a kingdom larger than ours?

"We start preparing for war immediately. Advance any warriors-in-training who are ready and accept those into training who you believe can handle it." I nodded at Nash. "We start strategizing today."

Nash crossed his arms. "Prioritize our pairing system for the younger warriors. They adapt best to this partnership. We need to utilize our young who possess power but are not suited for combat with our most promising warriors who lack power. We will look into recruiting from the Sacred School and Gael's kingdom as well."

"Will Gael return?" a chief asked.

"We will speak with him. He faithfully served with us for many years and while I know he has enjoyed the last two years at home, he made it clear that he plans to return. It's possible he will be willing to do that now rather than in a few years."

"We helped them with their last war," the same chief said. "Can we expect them to send more than just those training at the Sacred School."

"Yes," Nash said. "Their king agreed to this contingency already."

"I'll visit the king as soon as possible," I said. "There's no sign yet of any warriors advancing to our lands. More than likely, we have some time. We should be prepared for smaller scale attacks in the meantime. Update the defense plans for your villagers."

As we continued to plan and discuss over the next week, the flurry of activity forced the fear from my mind during the day, so only at night when I tried to sleep did it consume my thoughts.

I rocked Finn one night after he woke and tried imagining his future. Tried imagining just the next few years.

Maybe we overreacted to the interruption of the unwelcome guests at the summit. Other kingdoms prepared just as we did, however. If we united, I knew we would win.

But so far no one would join hands with us.

Everyone was so afraid of losing their power.

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The weeks chipped away at the dread and fear so that what once panicked the entire kingdom now felt unreal and distant. Therein lay the greatest danger of a looming threat. That it was looming. And our everyday life continued to happen, numbing us when we most needed to remain alert.

I opened the door of the war room and looked down the stairs at the commanders gathered with my husband.

"That's a weakness." Nash pointed toward one of our most rural areas. "We need more surveillance in that area today."

Watching, I leaned the rail.

One of the young commanders named Owen leaned over to speak to an equally young woman beside him. His mother was a warrior I deeply respected. "It's hard to take him seriously with a baby strapped to his chest."

Nash lifted a wooden battle marker that represented a division of our military and turned his attention toward the commander while the piece floated through the air to the center of the map. He patted Finn back lightly while placing the marker near the mountains with his power. "It's hard to take you seriously when my twelve year old daughter can beat you in both a sword and bow contest."

Laughter belted through the room.

The commander furrowed his brows and glanced at his comrades guffawing beside him. He seemed surprised Nash had heard his comment. "Everyone knows I don't use a bow, and she can't beat me in a sword contest. Only your made up game of twin blades."

This didn't lessen the laughter, nevermind that Elsie scored higher than half the warriors in this room in the twin blade fighting at the summer festival.

"My baby can likely beat you as well," Nash said above the noise of the warriors.

I smirked as I began to descend the stairs again. "So who has a problem with my baby?" I asked. I'd gone unnoticed before, but now all eyes turned to me.

The commander who had mocked Nash straightened and blinked at me. "I don't have a problem with your baby. I just don't think babies have a place in a war room."

"He spent a great deal of time in the war room when he was inside my body." I shrugged as I strode toward Nash, glancing at the commander again. "Enough time in war as well."

Leif snickered while everyone else fell quiet.

Finn twisted his head at the sound of my voice and giggled when he saw me. I slid my arm around Nash's waist and brushed my finger along the baby's puffy cheeks. "You're already a little warrior, aren't you? A cute little warrior." My gaze snapped up to the commander. "I'd overlook the comment if you were only joking, but this isn't the first snarky remark you've made. Do you think our children should grow up without their parents? The wars over this valley consume our life."

Nash leaned down to whisper to me. "It's fine, Max."

"Yes, Max," the commander said. "It was a joke."

The man next to him shoved his forearm against his chest and knocked him into the chief standing behind them. "That's Prophet Eclipse, you snot-nosed brat." He gathered up two handfuls of the other man's tunic. "You weren't even holding a sword when she saved us from Eskel the Ruthless. This is the problem with letting children call themselves commander."

When the older man released him, the young commander straightened his tunic, jaw bunching.

His chief grabbed his ear and yanked him to his side. "Not another word. You've embarrassed yourself enough."

I tilted my head. "It seems it doesn't take long for everyone to forget that we're at war. Don't let what feels like peace lull you into complacency. At any time, our enemies could strike. Is it really the time to joke in the war room?"

Owen lowered his head at this.

"Will we strike first?" A chief from the back of the room asked.

"We're working on such plans," Nash said. "There's many considerations. Taking an army to them hinders our defenses. We're outnumbered. A smaller force could enter covertly, but we need the right target or we'll waste our efforts."

The uneasy feeling growing in the room constantly filled me. It seemed like we were disadvantaged in every way.

The commanders and chiefs continued to evaluate our defense and our weaknesses until breaking for food.

Markus approached me while the others gathered around the tables filled with meats and cheeses.

"You're too soft on them," Markus said. "If he feels comfortable mouthing off not only to Nash the war chief but also the Prophet Eclipse then how can you trust him to lead in battle? How can you trust in battle at all?

I watched the young man. Markus was right. My people never created problems with disrespect, so I didn't encounter these situations often. The unrest from the potential war perhaps stoked something in the younger generation, a dissatisfaction with a failure of leadership to stop such a threat.

When the day ended, after a heated discussion about the boy with his mother and village chief, I stopped by the house which housed our visiting young commanders.

After I knocked on the door, the commanders scrambled to bring Owen to me.

The commander who we argued with in the war room gawked at me. It seemed that without the crowd and the distance between us, he didn't feel as brave.

"Your mother is angry with you," I said. "She asked me to formally discipline you in front of the war council."

Owen lowered his head. "Please accept my most sincere apology, Prophet."

I recognized the utter lack of sincerity in his fiery eyes. The demure voice couldn't hide his rebellion. "She's the reason you're a commander at such a young age. She's one of our greatest warriors. Your skill made us all believe that you could follow in her steps." I tilted my head. "Did we judge you wrongly?"

"You did." Despite keeping his gaze and his head lowered, his voice sharpened. "I'm not my mother. I will be a great warrior, but you'll be disappointed if you expect me to turn out just like her."

I smirked. "You're a little shit is what you are."

He lifted his head now, brows furrowed.

"You lack respect and the good sense of when to shut your mouth. You're undisciplined with your anger. My kid can beat you in two of our contests."

Now he met my eyes again, his voice raising. "I scored the highest in blindfolded two-handed—"

"Blah, blah," I said, cutting him off. "No one cares about what you scored the highest in when you score so low in so many categories. You do have great potential. So don't embarrass yourself."

"Why are you even talking to me? Don't you have an entire kingdom to run?"

I flicked his forehead. "I used to be immature and angry. Now I'm grown and angry. And I do whatever I like. You'll lose your duties as commander for a month. Go home."

"A month? You can't! We're preparing for war."

"The fact that you don't know when to be quiet makes me worried that you should permanently lose your duties."

"You don't like that I criticized your husband."

That made me snort. "You think I'd come pick a fight with a kid like you over that? I don't like that one of my commanders who could be great one day is acting like a child. I'll be watching you."

With that, I left Owen in the darkness.

I found Markus in his office, still working, as he had late every night since the summit.

"Markus," I said.

He paused and looked up at me.

"I want to see all of the commanders who were promoted in the last two years." I nodded. "You're right. I'm too soft on them. Our people needed mercy when we emerged from the tyranny of Eskel and from the dark days before we united. The young don't remember how it felt to be powerless. And so my mercy isn't mercy to them. It's coddling. Bring them all to me."

----------------------------------------

I stared at the rows of young warriors.

"A generation of commanders proved themselves in the midst of a bloody war to unite this valley. You are untested, and without proper testing, you're still weak. So I will test you. I will make you prove yourself. If you fall short, you will relinquish the title of commander."

I expected groans or the kind of insubordination the foolish Owen had shown me. But no one dared to allow anything to show on their face except for fear. Perhaps it was all they felt.

I pressed my finger to the sensor on my choker and sealed my own power. Raising my sword, I hardened my voice. "Who will fight me first?"

Owen stepped forward while everyone stared with fear in their eyes. Though he didn't speak with confidence, he did speak when all others remained silent. "I will."

He raised his sword with two hands, his preferred way to fight. One swing. Two. I sidestepped them both.

He twisted for a rapid strike to my side, which really wasn't bad, but I easily saw the hole in his defense. I kicked the side of his knee just enough to make him falter and shoved him onto the ground. My blade barely pressed against his adam's apple.

"You're too slow," I said. "Good form, but what's that worth if I can see every step you make so easily?"

He stared at me from the ground with his eyes wide.

Whispers spread among the young commanders.

Did they think that because Nash beat me at the sword competition every year that any of them stood a chance against me with the sword?

No one in the kingdom could defeat Nash when it came to swords.

I grabbed his arm and jerked him up. "Go. Who's next? Don't make me choose for you."

I'd teach these kids how little they knew of war.