Awareness of my own body in the presence shattered Ashton's past and threw me back into my own body.

Elias's white ceiling reminded me of the all-white room and the disconcerting sensation of confusion and lies I'd always felt there.

He'd launched into questions, desperate to know if Ash and Jax had met, and what had come of it. His voice sounded like a buzz to me.

"You never told her." The whisper barely left my lips.

"What did they say?" he asked.

I snapped up off the couch, forcing Elias to nearly fall off the coffee table where he sat. "There never was a meeting. I made it up."

If I'd given time to feel shocked, I was certain he would have stared for a long time with his mouth hanging, thinking I wouldn't have deceived him. That I, like Ashton, always came out swinging and wouldn't be inclined to lie. I gave him no time for shock.

"Ashton never turned on your guild because you never told her." I felt breathless as the pieces fell into place. "You didn't want to tell me you hid the truth from her because you knew that I wouldn't help you."

"I did tell her. You must have not have traveled–"

"No." Power ripped through me as my voice lowered to a deadly threat. "I warned you not to lie to me again."

Elias looked up at the ceiling, biting down the fear I saw flash over him. "You know I did the right thing. You've been in my position before. This is what happens when there's no one opening up their eyes to the truth. I'm forced to become something we both hate." His voice raised. "I knew you'd hate me just like she does. So no, I couldn't tell you. I need you. I need to believe that even if she'd abandon me, you wouldn't, because whatever happened in your world made you strong enough to fight any battle."

"You're a martyr, aren't you? Poor Elias, forced to sacrifice himself because no one can do the dirty work."

"I'm still Piercey. In my position, he'd do the same thing. So take a second to try understanding your friend, because I know you wouldn't be so quick to turn on him."

"You are not Piercey. Don't you dare pretend you are. I won't be manipulated by you. I'm sorry for what you went through here, but it twisted you. You can't even see how far off the path you are."

He pinched his eyes and huffed out a breath. "I just needed help, Max. You know how desperate you can get when you need help."

He looked so pathetic to me in that moment that I struggle to keep my temper flaring. "You should have been honest from the start. Instead, you tried to control what I did by lying to me. I thought I could trust you because you connected with Piercey. We were foolish to believe that meant anything."

I'd learned Elias's guilty look the first day I met him and I'd seen it too many times since then. He kept his posture strong but his eyes had that glassy, dismal look to them. "I'm trained to resist interrogation. I know how to hold back when connecting. It's hard and imperfect but I know how to do it. I just needed you to think I didn't so you would trust me."

How could he be so conniving? "Every step of the way you've deceived me. You ambushed me with Jax the first time I came here without telling me anything at all about what had happened between us. You refused to tell me what you did to Ashton and Jax or anything about your guild. Now I find out that what you'd done to prove your trustworthiness also was an act of deception."

"Tell me what your first instinct is now that you know."

"To tell her, like you should have."

"Exactly."

I cocked my head. "You need to just come clean to her."

"She won't be able to stay out of this fight."

"Good. You need her, you idiot. You don't need me. If you'd talked her in the first place you wouldn't have had to pluck another her from another world and then have me live through her life like some kind of voyeur. This should have been your war together from the start. Why don't you trust her? You're so convinced that she'll never betray her guild when I'm confident that she wouldn't support what they're doing."

Elias shook his head. "It never had anything to do with that. I can't risk her life."

The words stilled me, stole my ability to speak, until enough time had passed for them to fully digest. "But you can risk my entire world."

"I didn't know–"

"That's a load of shit and you know it. You're careful and you know how your guild works. You never considered that they'd find out what you were doing and come to my world?"

Elias finally looked away, a sure sign that I'd pushed him into feeling too bad, and that I was onto something.

What was wrong with me that I'd let him get away with so much? Sharing the seed of consciousness with one of my closest friends wasn't a good enough excuse. Pitying him because Ashton didn't love him and I felt bad for not loving Piercey wasn't either. I tightened my jaw and hardened my glare, my limbs tensing as I walked slowly toward him.

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To his credit, he didn't try to avoid me. Close to him, looking into his eyes, I spoke in a low growl. "How could you be so stupid?"

"I would do anything for Ashton. I told you that."

"Stop with your rationalizations. Seriously."

His eyes closed and pain etched into his face in strained lines. "Ashton never had to endure what you did. I'm not saying she can't handle herself or she isn't strong. She is. You, though, have had to do what no one else has, not even her. I needed you. I still need you."

"So stop treating me like this."

"I'm scared. My heart is broken. I don't… I don't know how to rely on anyone anymore because that's when it all falls apart. I know how you'll react so I just try to control it. To keep you from even finding out."

"What are you afraid of?"

He swallowed loud enough for me to hear. "If Ashton knows what the guild did to my parents, then she'll fight them, no matter what it costs her. Just like you did in your world. I don't want to lose her."

"You think she'll die."

"I know she will. You have an advantage here that she doesn't. You're unknown and unconnected. You have a relationship with the gods that no one else does and I just know you can win whatever war you fight."

"So can she. Why don't you believe in her?"

"I don't want her to go through what you did. I had what you needed desperately. I could see it so clearly. All those days of you killing yourself in battle, I knew if I could just give you what my world has, then you'd be okay again. Why put Ashton through hell when we could do this together? And maybe…" He breathed out slowly, voice sounding resigned. "Maybe I didn't believe in her like I should have. I couldn't think past my fear that they would kill her just like they killed my parents."

His admission made the words catch in my throat, the raw pain in his voice battering my heart. "Elias." Damn it, how did he always make me feel for him like this? I wanted to be angry so badly, and yet I could only think of consoling him. The struggle came through in the tenseness of my voice. "Ashton is not your parents."

"I can't take the chance. You shouldn't be surprised anyway if you know Piercey as well as you claim."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't realize everything he did for you, do you?" Elias asked. "You connected with him, you work with him every day, you basically live at the Sacred School with him, and still somehow you don't really see him."

"What are you talking about?"

"Piercey fought through all of his fears at the Sacred School, alone, so that he could protect you. That's why he became director. You should know that. You have his memories and his heart etched upon your soul."

The room felt smaller as he talked. Was it true that I didn't see him? "I know what he sacrificed for me."

"Then why would you be surprised that I did all this to protect Ash? It's because you haven't let yourself actually digest what you mean to Piercey and what he's done for you. My actions here in my world should be no surprise to you. I won't risk Ashton. I won't put her in harm's way. I'm going to fight the battle for once and spare her from the horrible way the guild has made me feel."

"You need her. Piercey and I work so well together. You wouldn't have needed to call on me if you would have just talked to her and let her help you."

"No, it's all too broken. I made a mess with her long before I broke apart her and Jax. There's too much history. This is my penitence. I can't heal what's been broken, but I can give her peace."

I stared at him, struggling to understand how he could be such a fool. "She needs you. Make a way for you and her to be in each other's lives again. That's the best thing you could do for her."

"I don't want to be Piercey." Elias shrugged sadly. "I really don't. Would you?"

His words hollowed out my chest.

"I've been in his head and in his life. He's so good at what he does and he's accomplished great things. He's better than I am. I think he's starting to feel better than I do. I still don't want to be him."

I was too afraid to ask him a question I already knew the answer to.

"I'm sure he'll find his happiness soon and he'll go on to have a great life. At least I had you. He never did. I would rather live bitter and guilty than give that up. Ashton changed me."

It was hard to breathe. "I think she might not have changed you for the better. You can't let your pride push you to make bad decisions. If you're trying to be her hero then stop."

"I'm not."

"So stop giving yourself excuses. Piercey has moved on. I know he has because we didn't just connect once. I can feel him moving on."

After a few seconds, Elias finally nodded. "It does appear he finally has. You still feel bad, though. We both know why. You're loving another man right in his face and he chose to stick around for it."

"Piercey is more of a man than most men can ever imagine being. You're a fool if you don't want to be like him."

"I've been through enough pain. Stop wishing more on me."

"I don't really want to talk to you about this anymore. No one is owed my heart. I didn't do anything to him. I didn't promise to love him or abandon him. I asked him to come with me when were kids and I escaped. Sure, as a young kid who knew nothing about love, I might have given him hope there could be something more. I never did that as an adult. Don't take it out on me that you can't get Ashton to love you."

The final sentence was too much to say and I regretted it immediately. He'd vexed me so badly that I didn't even want to apologize. Instead, I scowled at him as I grabbed his arm.

I couldn't let my feelings get in the way, though. It was time for me to take action. Elias thought that destroying the guild would free the Valley from the corruption that seeped into the veins of this kingdom. He was wrong. The Valley was too complicated to simply destroy one guild and think it would do any good. Much more needed to be done. Simply wiping out his guild would lead to far more chaos than in my world when I killed the Prophet. Here, the people fully participated in this culture of conflict whereas mine were victims to the Prophet. My people had not had the opportunity to make bad decisions.

They needed to change the guilds from the inside out and target specific leaders. Elias was blinded by his heartbreak and the injustice. He'd wanted to save Ashton from it so badly that he refused to tell her, so there was no one to show him his blind spots. He couldn't see that he was going about this all wrong. This wasn't as simple as bringing me in to kill another god–his guild. I had to bring together the right people to fight this war so I could make them take responsibility for these people who now wanted to invade my world.

It was time. "You've lost your right to make a choice about this," I said.

"What are you–"

"I won't let you lie to me anymore, not in any life."

"No!"

Elias tried to rip away, so I grabbed him with both hands, and transported us to the quiet cabin in the woods I just knew he'd told Ashton to go, not giving him time to prepare himself.

We appeared in a living room dimly lit by candles and covered with papers on the floor that mapped out battle plans.

Ashton rose from where she'd been kneeling and then she didn't move another inch, not even to breathe. She'd gone as still as a statue. Elias did as well, his arms limp at his side.

I spoke with a level voice. "I'm what Elias has been hiding."