It was time for the jackasses to take on their
hardest challenge yet, multiple-choice questioning examination. The room was filled with noisy chatting scholars who did nothing but fuck shit up yesterday.
The dreadful challenge came carried by a white knight of death. This knight was their teacher, Aergia, who was covered head to toe in white bandages. "Okay, class settle down."
With one command slipping through her useless armor, the whole class remained the same. None of them cared except for one student. A man, no, a leader, donning the proper school attire, stood up and shouted at his classmates.
"Classmates quite down! Miss Aergia is saying something." He said admirably, the only thing missing from him was big round glasses, braces, black suspenders, and stretchable underwear.
"Nerd!" Heckled Finley, who was drooping all over their table in a gooey and lard-filled form.
Aergia slammed her closed fist on the teacher's table.
*Thonk*
A metal boulder fell on top of Finley, splattering him all over the classroom. "Don't be rude." Said Aergia while peeling off a singular bandaid on her forehead. "Also stop being so goopy in my class."
"Damn it! You ruined my orange cake!" On a desk was a nice cake baked with oranges inside with orange whip cream and Finley's flesh on top. Carver stood up, knocking his seat away. He crouched down and rummaged through an orange-decorated bag, tossing out multiple empty glass containers and orange peels.
He pulled a beaker, filled to the brim with an oozing purple liquid, with the force of a million angry seniors. He pulled back with the pose of a professional baseball pitcher and the beaker was launched backward because of his sweaty hands.
The beaker spun in the air, dropping multiple droplets into the floor and on Gale's book. "Nooo! No no no!" He hopped up and grabbed the beaker perfectly on the bottom, stopping any further accidents from happening.
He then crashed to the ground, because gravity was a thing, splashing the substance on the person behind him, Morgan.
Morgan shook like Japan during an earthquake. He then shook again, his body was shaking and shaking like a weird cousin when watching a dragon ball beam fight.
He slammed his face onto his desk and began crying. "Sniffle waaah! I can't even! Gaaasshh!" He fell to the floor, next to Gale, and bawled pathetically.
Aergia gazed at Carver, Gale, and Morgan with a deadpan expression in quick succession. "That was... Stupid... Okay, class the first test is Hist-
"FIGHT!" Yelled Alphosine with all the air in her lungs. She then used all her arm power to flip her table towards an unsuspecting Ginto. The table impacted his breastplate and sent him tumbling towards Finley.
Finley who was still recovering and pushing the boulder away was used like a soft mattress to absorb all of the force of the impact.
His body shattered into shards right in front of Brennan. "Misfire!" Yelled Alphonsine who was aiming for absolutely nowhere.
Finley's remains squashed down to a small liquid form before speedily constructing a spike aimed directly at Bridget.
She ducked, then grabbed her sword's handle and slashed the spike and boulder easily with an upward slash. "Sneak attack!" Electa tried to pounce at Bridget but was knocked out by a swift jab to the head.
"Sneak attack 2!" Marilyn tried to pounce at Bridget but was sucker-headbashed by Kyanite. And by headbashed, I meant bashing her head in with a metal club.
"Hello there Bridget. It seems you are the strongest person here but are you strong enough to beat the finest Magnum technology?" Before she could pull out her jobber weapon, she was, not so secretly, gut-punched by Vanity.
"I'm number one you mole!" Vanity claimed while her hands were shining and glowing brightly.
"Mole?!" Exclaimed Cynebald and Fufluns who were both hooked out of their deep concentrations. The former was studying and trying to remember with all his might the wrong subject and the latter was eagerly meditating and waiting for somebody to mention nature stuff so she could jump in with her brilliant knowledge.
Fufluns jumped out of her chair and posed with two peace signs. "Moles are mostly blind but they can sense light easily!"
Cynebald followed through, leaping over his table and creating a massive heart using his arms. "They are also really cute!"
Roland then rolled toward the middle of the two and did his signature heroic pose. "What is a mole again?!"
"Stupid idiots!" Kyanite strutted forward while massaging her pained stomach. "Your useless antics tick me off, if you're gonna pose, might as well make it majestic like this!"
Kyanite slammed down her arms and took a straight and towering stance, she then pointed her left hand at them and winked. "This is how you pose!" She raised her right hand and position a finger gun below her chin aiming to the left.
"This is a little weird," said Roland while scratching his ears." Something feels off like something is missing."
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Everything seems ordinary to me. They always act this way. Maybe it's because of the missing costume?
"Wait!" Aderyn threw away her notebook and jumped onto the floor next to the posed dumbasses. "It's gonna boom! The explosions are missing! It's gonna explode!"
"The hell are you talking about?" Holly went and picked up her troublemaker. "Stop making shit up and sit back down."
"..."
"It's kinda quiet now. I feel like we should do something to get past this awkward phase." Pitched in Inku.
"May I recommend taking the examinations that we, the students who attend this Academy, are required to take?"
"That makes sense but I don't remember who asked you. May you please tell us?" Said Brennan with a fake grin created by magic.
"Now now, don't bully Sam. That's very bad... Sam tell your father I said this." Said Aergia while busily doing the bare minimum of her job.
*Bzzt*
"Huh? What was that?"
"Oh, it was a sound that came from my new invention Rosemary." Amminus pointed a cylinder tube covered in red and green stripes at himself and triggered a lever.
"Annoying but flashy? Is that how you view me? Well, that isn't bad." He pointed his invention at Rosemary and shot her again.
"Nice color theme," chimed in Ginto. "Reminds me of an event of joyous fun with your family. Also money."
"Annoying but flashy... Wait is that a device that shows a person's opinion on others?"
"Yes, it is. Now let me point it to one of your close friends to te-
She aimed, charged, and shot!
*Boom*
A violent explosion occurred at his face instantly obliterating his machine he spent countless sleepless nights tinkering, into dust. And also his face was madly disfigured from the attack.
"Aaaaah! Fuck!" How could you! You..." He shot up from the ground and waved his arms around. "I had enough! Yooooooooou suck this!"
A right hook came shooting through the tense atmosphere smacking Amminus' mind into the void. "Fight! Again!" Yelled Alphosine kissing her fist. And thankfully unlike last time, the students began to brawl.
"By the way Im still the best! I feel like people kinda moved from my earlier statement too quickly... Number one." Said Vanity with a defeated smile.
"Heal meee... Pleeease."
"Beg harder you worthless cretin." Said Vanity with a wide smile.
*Boom*
"Sit your ass down, Finley!"
*Swing Swoosh*
"What the hell are those swords made of?"
"Hopefully metal."
"Stop! Please everyone stop fighting!" Shabina captured everyone's attention by yelling and throwing snowballs at their faces.
"We should not fight like this! This is sad and bad. This is uncool, to be honest!" She said while sliding away from beams of light and launching snowballs at her classmates' faces.
"That's true. We should stop fighting. This is nothing but chaos for the sake of chaos. We are a class, we should unite and form deep friendships with each other, not kill each other over and over again. Why do we act like such animals when we can act like humans... And monsters... And whatever Alphonsine is."
"Fuck you."
"What Sam is trying to say is, we are a family and family is important." Said Ginto, glowing heavenly, his gilded armor reflecting a holy light. Which was caused by Aderyn repeatedly shooting lasers at him while he spoke.
"Okay.
Continue fighting!"
"Water Jet! I'm sorry waah!"
*Boom*
"It smells like some good old grandma's cooking. Also feels like it. Im on fire! Aaaahh!"
"Everybody listen." Parfait stepped forward, roses floated around him and covered his entire backdrop. "Please stop fighting," his teary eyes shined while a charming smile formed on his beautiful handsome attractive face, "do it for my sake please."
Alphonsine grip weakened and she dropped Ginto down onto the floor. "Of course."
"I mean if he said so." Finley's multiple spiked limbs slowly shifted to his body.
"Good idea, good idea." Brennan nodded.
"Im still burning!" Electa burnt to a crisp but she probably agreed with Parfait nonetheless.
He is so cool.
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Shabina spun her pencil around her fingers and tapped it on the desk frequently. How do I answer this question again? She was stumped on an easy question on her history exam.
Shabina was no brilliant child. She was quite dim-witted and rough when compared to her family, she was always the one to lose on their game night. But thankfully for her, her family despite being nobles didn't need intelligence.
They were simply performers who put on shows for the other nobility. It was an easy job and Shabina was blessed with the personality and attitude for performance. But too bad her memory wasn't blessed.
Her mind was comparable to a small room, which is empty except for a girl. That is her mind, just air and herself. However, if you look hard enough you can see inside her is a bright light, a potential power, and intelligence she could summon when in a pinch.
But because of her stupidity, she doesn't think this exam is a situation needing pinching.
"Who is the founder of THE EMPIRE?"
If she paid any attention, she would have remembered the name which was uttered every single morning and evening. But such a prominent historical figure was just a blimp full of air to her.
Letter A was Herold Jecter. Herold was a runaway prince from some now-destroyed kingdom many years ago. He was a person possessing golden cutlery who hungered for power and control.
Letter B was Je Hesk. Some random merchant who hoped for a wealthy future and a powerful army.
Letter C was Kefs. An orphan with the highest desires and strongest spirit. She was hell-bent on taking what others have and using it for herself. A perfect symbol of power and conquer.
Letter D was Tenqu Marto. The founder of the Empire. The pink deity of victory. A person who was loved by all.
All four were prominent historical figures who molded the landscape and civilization of this useless planet.
Sadly Shabina knew none of these people so she just chose her least-picked letter which was b. She passed the exam.
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Marilyn tossed a crumbled ball of paper at Holly. Aergia flicked her finger to the right, hurling the ball back at Marilyn's face. She uncrumpled the paper she just received and began to read it.
"What is the answer to question 16? Ah..." She crumpled the paper and threw it at Inku hoping she knew the answer to this randomly appearing message.
Aergia flicked her finger to the right and returned the paper. Her mind slowly wandered away, forgetting the number of times she flicked her finger.
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Roland answered each question easily. He studied hard for this math exam and since he was just gifted with good memory and a strong will, this exam was a breeze.
Encircling the last letter, he plopped down his pencil with multiple minutes remaining. He gazed at his papers and began imagining his justice-filled crime-fighting adventures.
With 30 more minutes, he began to draw his costume and special moves on a free sheet of parchment. He ended up failing this exam later because he didn't flip over the paper.
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Gale mumbled wildly under his breath. This language exam was simply too complex for his magic and sin-focused mind.
He chanted multiple spells and plays in between his heavy breaths of confusion and fatigue. He has guessed far too many questions and he begins to wonder why he was even here in the first place. Why was he even living? What was the point of taking this exam when he knew he was fated to fail?
He reached for his hair and began scratching it while looking at his paper and classmate's answers. But much to his surprise, his classmates were as smart as a brick. A dead broken burnt brick who got kicked out of community college.
Good thing I have this easy guaranteed way to pass. "Teacher! Do you want some drugs?!"