*Knock Knock*
Rosemary, Alphonsine, and Gale waited in front of a wooden cabin next to a lake. They were all desiring shelter because grape soda had begun to rain.
"Let me try." Alphonsine pushed Gale out of the way and began to knock on the door.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
The door rattled from the constant fist connecting that Alphonsine was doing. But despite all the noise, nobody answered the door.
"Hey, do you think I can drink the rain?" Said Gale, opening his mouth before somebody was able to respond.
"I'm gonna break this door down." Alphonsine concentrated all her mana on her fist. She then positioned her arm for maximum punching power.
Rosemary strolled in front of her and turned the door knob. She pushed open the door and walked inside.
"Get in dipshits."
She took out a match and lit the candles inside the cabin. The cabin contents were revealed to them.
Inside the cabin was a table, a bookshelf, another table, wooden chairs, wood carving tools, another table, and various wooden sculptures of the wildlife which included a table. One can only assume a wood carver had lived in this shitty cabin.
"Hey Rose, look at this!" Alphonsine grabbed a leather book off the bookshelf. "Porn!" She pushed the book to Rosemary's face.
Rosemary pushed the book out of her face. "I don't care for porn, Alphy. I prefer to read stupid fantasy novels written by old Italian men."
Alphonsine flipped open the book with a curious smile. The smile slowly disappeared as she pass the book onto Gale. "I can't read the book."
"What are you fucking illiterate?"
"Fuck you! It's in a language I can't read."
Gale opened the book and let out a small chuckle. "You still can't read runes? Seriously?"
"Read the book already!"
Gale licked his finger and flipped the book to page 53. "Ladies and Alphonsine, This reading of the book titled "Porn" is brought to you by Gale Montague of the Glory family."
"Ahem. Hika hoicp sufose cfue xhdo siiim sgisp Albania kis bail vud hoico... Teleportation!" A bright yellow light enveloped the whole cabin.
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"Hehehehe. This is truly one of my greatest ideas yet."
A gilded suit of armor was currently rigging the cabin with explosives and dynamite. After covering the whole cabin he ran to a red detonator with a black button that had a white skull drawing on it.
"Three! Tw-
"Lord Ginto!" A blue crystal monkey ran and tackled the gilded suit of armor. The monkey was hugging and squeezing Ginto with all its strength.
Ginto sat up on the ground while still being grabbed by the monkey. "Why are you here Brennan?"
"I missed you!"
"I guess I had been ignoring you." A bright yellow light shined from the cabin's windows.
Ginto stood up and gently placed Brennan next to the detonator. "Hmm. I'm gonna check on our classmates inside so make sure that you don't push this button
Brennan's monkey head nodded up and down faster than the wheels of the Mercedes Benz that I drove back in 2004.
It was also faster than the civilian that was crossing the sidewalk that my Mercedes Benz accidentally drove through while I was under the influence of God's greatest gift to mankind.
"Also make sure nobody else touches it because daddy isn't fond of exploding."
"Yes, Lord!"
Ginto levitated towards the cabin. His hand slowly reached for the doorknob before
immediately dashing and jumping into the window.
Brennan guarded the button with all his focus. He looked around observing the grape rain, the lake, and the boxes of dynamite.
*Ribbit*
A white frog with oversize black sunglasses jumped onto the detonator. "Noooo!" Brennan's monkey arms quickly moved toward the frog but at the last second, stopped.
Oh no. If I startle the frog, it may accidentally jump onto the button, exploding Ginto. And if Ginto exploded he would be very angry at me. Wait! If I can use my illusions a-
*Floosh* Falling from the sky was a small figurine of Antonio Veneziano. *Beep* it landed on the button.
The detonator sent a signal through its black wire to a bundle of red dynamite. The bundle exploded creating a domino effect of explosions that changed the cabin from shitty rundown wood to ash and leftover gunpowder.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
*Boom Kaboom Bomb noises*
Brennan looked down like a child being lectured. "I'm sorry Lord Ginto, I really mess-
*BOOOOOM*
The ground shook as another explosion happened. The cabin was now a 9 feet deep crater with no sight of Ginto.
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*Krikikikikiki*
Emerging from the walls of the mountain, Finley wore a habit and rode a unicycle while spinning an axe like a Canadian performer. Where her face would be was a gaping hole full of long shark teeth and a long piece of intestines that swayed from left to right.
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Kyanite sat on a rock and wished upon a shooting star despite it being daytime and despite there being no shooting star im the sky.
"If only I can get some more screen time." Sady the star didn't answer but a monkey's paw did.
*Krikikikikiki*
Kyanite turned around and saw a small figure riding toward her. The figure seemed to be a monster wearing a nun's clothes and holding an axe.
"Hmmm." Kyanite peered at the figure who was getting closer at an alarming rate. She jumped off the rock and took a fighting position. She then readied herself before turning and running with all her might.
She had an ego bigger than the sins she carried but everyone knew that messing with the axe-swinging, unicycle-riding, habit-wearing, intestine-dangling, teeth-faced monster could only lead to death. And "everyone" includes her.
She ran and ran until she stopped running which was now because she tripped on something ironic. She tripped on a wooden figurine of modern air conditioning.
How is that ironic you might be asking? Well, it's easy, you just have to think about it after spinning in a circle for 30 seconds and you'll understand it.
Anyway, she ate dirt as she crashed onto the stone floor which had no dirt in sight. "Damn it! If only I wasn't bound to words then I would have been able to see this fucking wooden square!"
*Krikikikikiki*
Finley stopped in front of the laying Kyanite. She sat still as a mouth opened along her neck. "Did you do it?"
Kyanite maneuvered her body to face the monster. "Do what? Did we kill one of your family members? If so just take a complaint slip, filled it out with all your information, and then immediately shoved it up your ass! You fucking bit-"
*Chop*
Kyanite head's was separated from her body without her consent. Finley then proceeds to slam her axe onto the body over and over again, making it into a delicious meat mush.
"It's true." Finley turned her head in surprise. Kyanite's head was alive and talking to her. "I did it!"
*Krikikikikiki*
Finley closed in, her face inches away. "You did?"
"Yes, and by it... I meant your mother!" *Spit*
Finley stood up from her unicycle. She readied her feet and kicked Kyanite's head like a soccer ball. The head soared away from her just like a speeding bullet.
Shabina jumped and caught the head with her hands before it flew into a wooden sculpture of a soccer goal. She threw the head into the floor and took out a bottle of beer from her pocket.
She shook it with all her might before popping the cork off. The wine shot out, covering herself in beer and foam. She then pulled out a confetti popper and exploded it onto the air. She then proceeded to dance while shooting snow into the air.
*Krikikikikiki*
Finley closed in, riding on her unicycle like the last horseman of the apocalypse. She split the head in half with her axe and gawked at the celebrating Shabina. "Did you do it?"
"Did I do it? Yeah, I-" Finley swung her axe towards Shabina. But she ducked out of the way as the blade cut the air where her neck was. "Whoa! Calm down!"
*Krikikikikiki*
Finley's intestine opened up, revealing hundreds of eyes that stared into Shabina's soul. She swung the axe downward like how judges slam their gavel. Shabina gracefully slid to the left, evading Finley's anger.
"You can have the flag! Just leave me alone!" Shabina took out a short metal pole that had a red square flag on the top.
"What."
"You weren't asking me if I found the flag?"
*Krikikikikiki*
"Did you go inside my home, mess with my things, and left an ugly wooden pony or did you not!"
"Nononononono no... No."
Finley's face hole moved towards Shabina. Her intestine eyes all moved and scanned Shabina's trembling face. "Okay." Finley then began to cycle away as if nothing happened.
*Krikikikikiki*
But she was faced with a new person. It was none other than the suicidal twin tails girl, Bridget. "Did you d-
Bridget disappeared. Finley turned around and saw her holding a purple blade to the sky. The blade floated and spun around her hand in a circle before returning into her grasp.
She slashed the swords downward before putting the blade back into its leather scabbard. But Finley didn't get sliced apart nor did she fall to the ground in agony.
This was not because she was sturdier than the sword nor did Bridget fail to swing. This was because she wasn't the target, the target was Shabina.
Shabina fell to the ground with a scream. She wasn't hurt in any way, her ice trinkets were just cut into many small sparkling snowflakes.
"My swag!" Yelled Shabina.
Bridget took out the flag which was stuck to her head. She then began to walk away, ignoring the depressed Shabina and the confused Finley.
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Somewhere by the lake edge, three students sat and rested on the waters.
Sam - A boy with green hair, huge abyss-like eyebags, a bronze butterfly necklace, and a leader complex.
Morgan - A boy with blue hair, sharp well rested eyes, a sapphire Whirlpool 5 Star Fully-Automatic Top Loading Washing Machine necklace, and extreme social anxiety.
Marilyn - A girl with black hair, goofy rainbow eyes, no necklace, and a head full of nothing but imagination.
It was a nice relaxing day, all sitting and feeling the grape rainfall on their heads. It was an easy and simple life. They may have all forgotten about the flag and the reason why they were there in the first place but it didn't even matter.
Marilyn took out a cup and filled it with the river's grapey content. "What are grapes?" She chugged the cup empty. *Burb* "A delicious little pile of sweetness!"
"Uh okay..." Said Morgan.
Sam cleared his throat and wiped his face free of the rain. "I have a question for the two of you. Who do you think should be our class leader, class representative?"
Morgan began to ponder while Marilyn answered instantly. "Probably Parfait. He's sociable and nice to everyone."
"Eh, what about me?" Sam began to list his positive traits using his fingers. "I'm pretty sociable myself. I'm also nice and pretty smart. I'm also really good at studying. I also don't sleep a lot and can play the flute. I know a lot of things about our class."
"Like how Morgan has an older half-brother who is an ice mage. I also know he was a traveling water mage for around 3 years. And that he was almost killed during on his 7th birthday."
"Tha-that is creepy! I thi-think I am gonna leave." Morgan stood up and began to walk away. What a fucking pussy.
"Sucker Punch!" Morgan was punched by an individual with spiral pupils. Morgan fell to the ground as he clutched his stomach.
"It's time for pain and a cliffhanger!" Yelled Gale before cannonballing into the lake.
"Now you might be wondering was is happening?" Morgan turned his head upwards and was faced by Carver who was crouching down.
"You see I was minding my own business, putting drugs in a hole. When suddenly, dropping from the sky was him." Carver pointed his finger at Gale who was currently in the process of drowning Marilyn.
"He landed on my epic pit and began to consume it all. It was quite fascinating. His nose and mouth were like a vacuum and he had a great affinity with needles."
*Swoosh*
Sam was shot out of the lake. He then dashed back to evade a scorpion's tail. "So you're telling- Tactical Push!" Sam shot out a gust of wind which pushed Gale back into the lake.
"So you're telling me, that there are three rampaging assholes in gift mountain?"
"I guess."
"Wha-what do you-you mean three!"
"Morgan read the last chap-"
"Taurus charge!" Sam was headbutted and sent flying by Gale.