"Heave ho!" Carver lifted Vanity off the ground and threw her into a stone table like a fish. And just like a fish, she flopped and bounced off the table and onto the ground.
Carver wiped off the sweat on his forehead and stood with a smile on his face. "Shit." He shambled to the other side of the table and began to lift her again. Because after all, the 7th try was charming and fuckable or something like that.
But this trial was different from the others. Having reached his breaking point of doing things half-assedly, his mind was given ideas that would inspire Billions. Billions of brain cells inside his citrus-filled brain.
With a special skill unknown to everyone,(but luckily I, the author will tell it all to you) Carver will carry her to the stone table without her immediately dropping to the floor like the slab of meat that she was.
Moving his body, Carver lifted with his legs and placed her down on the table...
"Easy!" Reaching and obtaining victory using his fingers and legs, Carver decided to treat himself to something sweet. Walking past Amminus who was spinning on an office chair, Carver grabbed one of the many oranges scattered in his lab.
When suddenly.
*Bang Bang Bang*
Loud knocking could be heard coming from the door. "Maybe you should answer that."
"Huh?" Carver spun around using the heel of his foot and faced Amminus. "Why are you here?"
"No idea. I woke up here."
*Bang Bang*
"Maybe you should get that."
"Yeah, maybe I should..."
Carve walked eagerly towards the door.
"So..." Amminus jumped from his chair and expected the body on the stone table. "Warm and alive." Placing his hand on the body, he felt warm and smelt the tint of blood.
"Hey! Pass me an orange" Carver returned, his face covered by a leather plague doctor mask.
"Sure thing." He tossed an orange that missed and struck Vanity in the face. "I..." He threw another one and struck Vanity in the face again.
"Never mind I'll just take one." He walked past Amminus and grabbed an orange on top of an orange. He threw the orange into the air and tried to grab it but instead, the orange landed on Vanity's head.
"Is there a magnet there or what?" He grabbed one of the oranges off the floor and lobbed it toward the open door.
"Thanks!" Rosemary picked up the fallen orange and quickly evacuated the area.
"Yeah, no problem... Didn't even close the door." He lifted his legs one by one, moving them closer to the exit of his laboratory.
Working his hand, he pushed the door and twisted the doorknob close. "So, let's dissect this body."
"I don't know about that Carver. As far as I know, she's alive."
"She is!" He pulled off his mask, revealing a black eye. "Well, there goes my plan." He cracked open an orange and crushed it with his teeth. In a matter of seconds, the purple dark spot on his eye caused by physical trauma healed and returned to normal.
"Wow, how fascinating... You eat those raw?"
"Huh? Yeah? I do. You cook it?"
"No..."
"Wait really? I thought you cooked th-."
"I cremate them."
"Oh... Anyway moving on, I just had an idea."
"Does it involve cutting her in half... Since if it does, I won't allow it." He pushed his red-tinted goggles up and readjust his rainbow-striped top hat.
"Don't worry about it. I have something else in mind." He grabbed a flask off the floor and emptied its content onto a drain. "We're gonna do a lobotomy."
His face reflected on the flask, but so was his messy laboratory. He looked around, ignoring Amminus, and examined the mess he created. A book that was not there took his focus.
"And if we failed it doesn't matter, hahaha... Since fucking nothing matters." He slammed the flask onto the ground and wiped off the sweat gathered in his brows. "Fuck! Here I am, doing this and he's out there living the real life!"
"Stop! Let's not bring that up... I don't want to think about that anymore... We're here and that's fine." Said Amminus while looking down at the floor with a somber look on his face.
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"You're rigth! I guess this isn't all bad." He let out a deep breath and grabbed a container inside a cabinet stuck to a wall. "When inspiration strikes, you better hit back with an insane amount of effort!"
"That's the spirit." He stood up from the office chair and a bottle of alcohol fell and shattered on the floor. "But let's not do that lobotomy."
"But I want to know what's inside her brain... Oh, wait!" He crouched down and grabbed a small sack of powder. He opened the sack and dumped the power into the container.
"What are you doing?"
He then snapped a white flower off the dirt corner of his room. He crushed the flower using a mortal and pestle and sprinkled it into the powder.
"And now a dash of liquid goodness." He grabbed a large clear glass bottle filled to the brim with a minty blue substance. He emptied the whole bottle into the small container.
The powder absorbed all the liquid and dust and turned into a bright sky-blue-colored goo. "This is a sticky substance capable of letting anybody enter the dreams of another."
"You're gonna enter her mind?"
"No, you are."
"I am?"
"You see I'm super scared of her and you seemed... Uh, peculiarly weird enough to endure this sadist's mind."
"I not weird. I'm eccentric."
"What's the difference." He stretched the goo and stuck it in her mouth. He grabbed the other end and pushed it inside Amminus's mouth.
"Stay still." He grabbed a short metal pole from an umbrella stand and placed it on the goo. Pressing a button, he experienced something quite shocking, they all did.
Coursing through his mind were thousands of pieces of information, all informing him that he is getting fucking electrocuted. The two innovators fell to the ground with a loud thump and an even louder groan of pain
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Amminus woke up at an empty church, his body covered in silt and a gentleman's suit. The church chairs were made from the sexiest type of wood. Cement. He tried to walk but his feet were being pushed down by white glowing hands.
A small child clad in white robes fell through the ceiling in front of him. Plopping down to the floor like a fish, she got up. She faced Amminus and punched him in the face.
Her fist passed through his punchable face like a specter or a highly advanced hologram. "Back off." He shoved the child which threw her off balance. As she fell to the floor, white shining hands emerged for her back which clung to Amminus.
She fell through the floor, her hands grabbing and taking him with her. They both landed and stumbled down a spiraling staircase. Their bodies bounced like rubber as they maneuvered and crashed down.
On the very bottom of the staircase was a dark abyss that swallowed them whole and spat them out. The abyss functioned as a wormhole that sent them to a burning forest.
They crawled up from the dirt like a worm during a rainy day. They both stood up and dusted themselves, but something seemed different to Amminus.
"Woah you grew." His eye level only reached the stomach of the girl clad in white robes. He turned his head upwards and saw a small white glint coming from her covered face.
She pulled down her robe and revealed a frown as she stared downwards at the child in from of her. "Who are you?"
"What? What do you mean? I'm your classmate."
"Seriously? That was a simple question." She poked Amminus in the forehead repeatedly. "I'm asking you who you are. I know you are a classmate of mine but not which one?"
"It's been two weeks already and you still don't know all your classmates? At least try to memorize their faces and names?"
"No, I will not."
"Huh?" He bounced around her, moving his arms around like a Ferris wheel.
"I don't remember every insignificant person I meet and with full offense, you're a morsel standing against a full-blown God."
"Hey fuck you! What is that supposed to mean." He spat at Vanity but the spit collided with something invisible in the air.
The spit fell to the ground which instantly sprouted flowers. "Wow, how did you enter this Academy with a brain like that? It's quite obvious what I'm trying to say. But you seem far from sharp so let me say it for you, you-are-a-no-bo-dy."
"What! Huuuuuh!" He moved his hand around his face, his fingers wiggling like a wet piece of spaghetti. The noodles noodling around.
"You are so rude!" He lifted his hand and punched with all his might which was nothing. Just a small amount of Newtons exerted by a young child.
"Pathetic." With a swift kick, she punted the child away.
Amminus spun into the air, crashing and breaking trees as his body gained speed and momentum. With every tree he destroyed, Vanity could hear a ding accompanied by a number above her head increasing by one.
After the 50th tree slaying, a purple axe fell from the sky and landed next to Vanity's feet. "This is nice." She picked up the weapon and admired the greatly sharpened edge of the blade.
"Too bad I can't use this to kill him." Vanity looked up above her head. The dinging noise didn't stop and the numbers keep appearing. The noise irritated her and the constant sound of trees breaking, hurt her ears.
"Stop it!" She slammed down the axe onto the ground. A rift formed and expanded under her but she did not fall. The cracks in the ground got larger and bigger until they suddenly stopped.
She dashed backward and out of the invisible floor on top of the abyss below her. "The numbers stopped? And also the pain. Ever since I arrived here? A dream?"
The melody of a piano burst from the deep caverns down below her. Along with a gigantic beast. "Begone!" The beast white as the feathers of a pure swan towered over her.
With an overflowing figure entropic structure, the beast looked down on her. "You are about to be p-
"Shut the fuck up! You're not real and that sucks for you!"
"Excuse me?"
"Bitch you're in a dream. Mine! And I don't know what you represent I just know that I am not in pain and that's all that matters to me."
"Hahaha!"
"Foolish!" The beast slowly gained shape, forming its body to match two rings covered in bumps that wrapped around a bright orb that blinded the dream space.
Wings fell from the sky and stuck themselves on the rings using super glue. "Be Terrified!" The hundreds of bumps all opened up, revealing eyes that judged her very being.
"For I Am The Punisher Sent To Destroy The Human Ra-
*BOOM*
Amminus exploded the beast. He flew in the air with the speed^6 of a bird high on ketamine and collided with the beast, its purple-colored guts splattering everywhere. Vanity simply gazed upon the burning forest flames that got put out by the insides of an Angel.
"Dreams are weird." She slapped herself awake.
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"Rah!" She shot up from her comfy stone table bed. "It's gone, the pain is gone. Thank you Mezor!" She celebrated and raised both her hands up to the sky, well she tried to.
"Aaaahhhh!" Holding her left arm which was beyond destroyed was her trembling right hand. "Saint Blessing!" Her hand glowed and healed, forming it into a nice normal hand with no blood dripping or bones poking out.
"Nice, now time to study for the e-
*Bonk*
Her head traveled towards the ground after a quick push from something hard. "Call me worthless again! I dare yooooouuu!" Said Amminus holding a metal fordable chair.
"Now it's time to study for the exam like a good boy." He looked down and saw Carver's headless corpse. "Huh?" He glanced around the room and saw the massive hole that was once a wall.
"Rats!" He said, snapping his fingers.