"Shit!" Lorelei yelled as she took off, as fast as she could, towards their second group. Hild made a half-hearted attempt to keep up, but the Valkyrie was soon left in her wake.
As she grew near the sight of some epic chaos, the stench of blood and burnt flesh mingled with the acrid fumes of spent mana, creating an atmosphere of palpable dread. Groans of the wounded echoed across the lanes of the motorway, punctuated by the guttural roars of a triumphant [Toll-Booth Troll].
"How the fuck has that thing managed to take them all down?" she asked her Guide as she ran. "They should have had more than enough to take it without the rest of us."
***Help Message***
Couple of points, cupcake. First up, you might want to start taking a little more notice of all the information I'm putting on a plate for you. A System could start to feel its efforts are wasted if players ignore all contextual clues.
Lorelei dismissed the message and increased her speed. In moments, Pete would be overwhelmed by the relentless bludgeoning from the [Toll-Booth Troll] and - with Kris unconscious by his feet and both the Veiled Stalkers out for the count - that would be game over. And in more ways than one. Quite apart from not really wanting to see her friends die - well, Pete and Kris, anyway - she had a quest to complete that was an automatic fail if she was left with less than 51% of the original group. Even as she thought this, Lorelei knew it was the emotionally dampening talking, but there was still a burst of shame at that thought. It really did seem to matter to her more than anything else that four more deaths made completing the quest impossible.
Trying to ignore that thought, she focused on her Guide's last few words. "What the fuck are you going on about?"
***Help Message in an exaggerated passive-aggressive tone***
If you would take the most cursory of glances at the description of that [Toll Booth Troll], you would have seen that while you and your little group have just beasted a common-or-garden Level 8, you have sent your fellows up against an Elite version. Its name is in gold and everything.
Lorelei was only yards away now and could clearly see what her Guide meant. This monster's name was a far sparklier and shiny colour than the one they had just defeated. "So? Does that mean it's tougher?"
***No Shit, Sherlock Message***
I was giving you kudos for picking the easier one to take down, but now I sense it was one of your classic blunders. You sent that party to its death without any real plan, didn't you? Same old, same old.
Lorelei winced as Pete was smashed backwards to land in a tumble of unconscious limbs. The elite troll, towering at a monstrous twelve feet tall, was ugly, even for its species. It was a nightmare far more unpleasant even than the one she had just helped defeat. Its skin was a mottled tapestry of scars, boils, and warts. Yellowed tusks jutted out from a maw dripping with the blood of - presumably - Michael and Michelle, and its beady eyes glinted with intelligence.
"Can I take it?"
***Amused Guffawing Message***
So much for that, then.
But, by then, she was there, standing above Pete and holding a hand towards the troll in the least convincing show of defiance since the time Gordon from the Mail Room had tried to defend writing her an email entitled 'Fuck the HR Nazi Bitch." Now she thought of it, Gordon's eyes had held the same expression as this thing. Funny what ran through your mind as you were about to die.
The troll looked down at Lorelei, its eyes narrowing as it registered her presence. With a deep booming shout that reverberated straight through to her feet, it swung a massive, clawed hand at her.
***Help Message***
Fuck me, are you really trying this? Buttercup, this isn't going to be like the [Kobold Champion]; this thing is a proper death machine. I didn't put this here as a training exercise for new groups - this is a Level Boss.
Lorelei dismissed the notification, barely managing to duck under the blow, feeling the rush of air as the claws passed mere inches from her head. The force of the swipe was enough to send a nearby car tumbling like a toy, its windows shattering in a spray of glass and metal. Lorelei rolled to her feet, seeing the other conscious members of their party running to start pulling the fallen out of the way.
So that was good.
At least something positive would come from this. Lorelei's mind raced as she calculated her next move, her heart pounding in her ears. Then she reached for her Double-Headed Coin of Fate, flipping it high into the air, activating
Her hands were suddenly glowing.
Hadouken: Give a yell that holds all the fervour of a man who has stubbed his toe on the edge of a coffee table. You have access to a fireball that looks suspiciously like an oversized, flaming meatball. This baby will soar towards its target with the grace of a drunken seagull.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
Double your fun: If you can Down, Down-Forward, Forward + Punch to activate it, I'll give the old random damageometre another roll and see what happens.
Having no time to worry about how she must look, Lorelei crouched twice, took two steps forward and yeeted the fireball towards the troll, giving it the full 'Hadouken' shout as she did so.
The impact was immense. Her blast connected with the troll's flesh, sending a shockwave of force through her arms and into the beast's body. The troll staggered back, dark blood spurting from the wound, screaming in pain. The dark ichor that flowed from its neck was thick and foul-smelling, staining the ground and sizzling where it landed.
Critical Damage Dealt: [Randomised x Damage Multiplier] 500 HP (Sounds epic, doesn't it? But I'm afraid this dude has health to spare. You've basically just kicked him in the nuts and tweaked his nose. Painful, for sure. Maddening, indeed. But hardly incapacitating.)
Lorelei looked up where the troll’s health bar was displayed and saw that it had dipped slightly but nothing major. Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, it swung its other hand at Lorelei, claws aimed to tear her apart. Instinctively, she ducked and rolled again, narrowly avoiding the lethal swipe.
The claws scraped the tarmac, leaving deep gouges and sending sparks flying that ignited the petrol leaking from a nearby car. This blazed into life, flames engulfing the troll, doing far more damage to it than Lorelei's assault with the Streetfighter move had managed.
***Hmmm, that wasn't suspiciously lucky or anything***
The troll's eyes blazed with agony - the rest of its body just blazed - as it lunged forward, mouth open, jaws snapping. Lorelei darted back, her heart pounding as she tried to avoid both being eaten and also set alight. The troll's fetid breath washed over her, a nauseating stench - quite apart from the stink of its burning skin - that made her eyes water and her stomach churn. She fought down the urge to retch as she fled.
The troll howled again, this time summoning a wave of necrotic energy that rippled through the air. Lorelei felt the Skill hit her, sending her sprawling across the bonnet of a white van. Pain lanced through her body, but she gritted her teeth and pushed herself up. She couldn't afford to stay down. Not now.
***Wipe Incoming***
"What? I'm okay. It hurt, but I've had worse!"
***Prepare for Game Over***
Sorry, dear, but it's hit you with
Feeling an odd sense of calm, Lorelei activated
Critical Impact Detected! You've been infected by
Status Effect: Massive Set of Balls. 50% increase of damage when fighting a significantly overpowered enemy. Oh, and your mana pool is now inexplicably full.
***Oh, come on. This isn't even remotely subtle!***
Energy surged through her, knitting her wounds and bolstering her strength. She felt a rush of vitality as her body healed the pain of the rot ebbing away. She was back on her feet in an instant, feeling stronger than ever, ready to face the troll once more.
Deciding every little would help, she cast
***Help Message***
Look, I'm going to leave you to it here. Luck—cough—is obviously on your side, literally and metaphorically. And I am not going to be caught in the vicinity if anyone decides to have a look at this little battle. Assuming you survive, I'm going to nerf any XP you get here—it'll get shared across your whole team. See you later, toots.
With newfound vigour, Lorelei dashed forward, dodging the troll's clumsy swipes with ease. Her agility was a blur, and she used it to her advantage, landing quick, precise throws of her coin on the troll's vulnerable spots.
However, despite all this - and it was a lot - the troll was not yet done. It bellowed again, the wind of its final Skill sending Lorelei spiralling through the air. However, as she flew, she launched another
Original Attack Outcome: [Negative Result] Troll returns to 100% HP
New Attack Outcome: The coin grows in size, striking the troll with cataclysmic power. Like a meteor hitting the Yucatán Peninsula. Seriously, it blows a hole the size of the Chicxulub Crater straight through its head.
Damage Dealt: Who fucking cares. Fucker is toast.
The impact was explosive, and the troll's health bar plummeted. With a sad little whimper, it collapsed to the ground, lifeless. The elite marker above its head flickered and disappeared. Breathing heavily, Lorelei found herself standing over the fallen troll, her chest heaving with exertion. For once, she had managed to leverage her luck-based Class in a way that had finally paid off. Maybe Fortuna wasn't completely off-piste with her plan after all . . .
The motorway fell silent as her party members battered but all still alive, slowly approached. Their faces were a mix of awe and relief.
"You did it, Lorelei," Steffan said, his voice filled with something odd. "You really did it."
Lorelei smiled, her heart swelling with something that might very well have been pride. "Yeah, I guess I did."
*
Just over the ridge of the hard shoulder, Sylvie and Rupert had watched, with something akin to horrified amazement, as the Level 8 they had been hunting soloed a Level Boss.
Neither of them would consider themselves cowards, but there was something about watching that little exchange that had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over their revenge plan.
They each exchanged a quick glance before Rupert began backing away. "We're going to need a whole fucking crew for this bitch."
"And the fucking rest," Sylvie said, joining him in his rapid escape.