Plans made, and with little left to say, Lorelei nodded to each of her party in turn to check they understood their role in what was to come. When she reached the ravaged figure of Michael, she cast a final on him for . . . well, for luck. Whether it was a good omen that her Skill randomised on fully topping up his dwindling HP and triggered 'Status Effect: Protective Cocoon. Recipient is covered in a healing shell for the subsequent encounter. Cannot inflict or take damage in this state' remained to be seen.

Lorelei couldn't help but think it would be very on-brand for her integration experience for this to be the final positive roll she made . . .

*** Help Message ***

I resent the implication there, chickenlittle. I have been nothing but scrupulously even-handed in all of our dealings. It's not my fault your Class is so wildly OP I constantly need to interfere to keep some semblance of balance. But I sense you're sceptical, so how about this? I pinky promise that whatever happens in the next thirteen minutes, I won't interfere whatsoever. No matter what bullshit you throw out, no matter how unlikely the outcome, I'll let it stand. Come what may, in terms of fallout from the powers that be, you get a completely free pass. Deal?

In this crucial moment, a lifetime of experience in corporate backstabbing served Lorelei well. There was no way she was falling into that bear trap. "You're okay, Guide. You keep doing what you think is best to maintain balance. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble after all." The lack of a snarky response in her notifications made her think she had probably made the right call.

And then it was on.

Pete charged towards the Chimera, moving with surprising agility for a man of his years. When he was about twenty or so feet in front of it, he adjusted the grip on his massive tower shield, planted it in the ground, and braced his whole weight against it. “Reet then, let’s give this sneekit bugger a run for its money!” Somehow, despite the comical mismatch of ancient Geordie standing alone against a fuck-off giant world snake, Pete's deep rumbling voice was oddly comforting.

"Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound." Hild took a deep breath and then ran forward to skid in behind Pete's shield, narrowly avoiding a globule of poison that whistled over her head. Three rapid-fire subsequent strikes from the Chimera hit Pete's shield, but it appeared to hold up remarkably well. After the third crash and sizzle, Hild popped her head over the shield's rim, blue eyes, cold and unyielding as a Nordic winter, and scanned the cathedral grounds.

“It looks like the luck bitch was right. So far, at least. It seems happy to sit there and spit at us."

“Aye. So let’s keep the beastie's attention,” Pete replied, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You know this is going to get nasty?" Hild asked, absent-mindedly pressing her hand against her chest piece.

"Not like it's been 4-0 up away against the Mackem so far, is it? Bring it on, I say."

As the tanks debated next steps, Lorelei reviewed the opening exchanges, relieved that the Chimera hadn't simply uncoiled to chow down on Pete and Hild. The Guide had not been forthcoming when she asked how mobile the Raid Boss was, but considering its insane power, it made sense that it would need to be tethered in place. She rechecked the monster's stat sheet, blanching again at what she saw but feeling a little mix of excitement and nerves at the potential rewards.

Chimera, Serpent of Lichfield

A massive serpent with a penchant for poison and arcane tantrums, wraps itself around the cathedral like a scaly Christmas decoration. A brave (or foolish) team of ten might defeat it—if they don’t become its next snack.

Level 20 Raid Boss

Health 1,500,000

Mana 250,000

Armour 5,000

Magic Resistance 4,000

Primary Stats

Strength 1200

Agility 900

Stamina 1800

Intellect 1500

Spirit 1200

Secondary Stats

Spell Power 3000

Attack Power 1800

Critical Strike 15%

Attack Speed 2.5 seconds

Primary Skills

Venomous Bite: A powerful bite dealing 10,000 physical damage and applying a poison effect that deals 2,000 damage per second for 10 seconds.

Toxic Strike: 8,000 initial poison damage on impact and leaves behind a pool of acid that deals 1,000 poison damage per second to any player standing in it.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Constricting Coils: Targets a random player, dealing 5,000 damage per second and immobilizing them for 10 seconds. Can be broken by teammates dealing a combined total of 20,000 damage to the coils.

Poison Breath: Releases a toxic cloud in a cone in front of the Chimera, dealing 20,000 damage and applying a debuff that reduces healing received by 50% for 15 seconds.

Tail Swipe: Swipes its tail in a 360-degree arc, dealing 15,000 damage and knocking back all players within 20 yards.

Arcane Scream: An AoE spell that deals 25,000 arcane damage and silences all players for 5 seconds.

Passive Abilities

Regeneration: Heals for 1% of maximum health every 10 seconds.

Scaled Hide: Reduces all incoming physical damage by 20%.

Enrage Timer: After 15 minutes, the Chimera enrages, doubling its attack speed and damage.

Loot table (One from each row)

Chimera's Scaled Hide (Epic Armor): Provides +500 Armor, +200 Stamina, and +150 Strength. Set bonus: Reduces incoming physical damage by 10%.

Venomous Fang (Epic Weapon): +250 Attack Power, +50 Agility, chance on hit to apply a poison dealing 1000 damage over 5 seconds.

Arcane Gem (Epic Trinket): +200 Intellect, chance on spell cast to restore 5% of max mana.

Coiled Embrace (Epic Cloak): +300 Stamina, +150 Spirit, reduces all magic damage taken by 10%.

Toxic Sceptre (Epic Weapon): +300 Spell Power, +100 Intellect, chance on spell cast to deal 2000 poison damage over 10 seconds.

Serpent's Eye (Epic Ring): +150 Intellect, +150 Spirit, increases critical strike chance by 5%

Scaled Boots (Rare Armor): +200 Armor, +100 Agility, +100 Stamina.

Venom Vial (Rare Consumable): Grants +50% poison resistance for 1 hour.

Arcane Dust (Rare Crafting Material): Used to craft powerful magic items.

Special Drop (0.5% chance)

Chimera's Essence (Legendary Artifact): Grants the user a temporary transformation into the Chimera, increasing health, attack power, and spell power by 50% for 30 seconds. Usable once per encounter

It wasn't just the Loot Table, of course, but the thought that maybe - just maybe - there was a place for her in this new world. That being known as the cliche who fucked the Prick with the prick wasn't going to be the sum total of her life achievements . . .

Idly, she tossed the coin in her hand a couple of times, feeling its familiar weight and hoping that her luck would hold through what was to come. Well, there was no point fanning around. Just over twelve minutes left until the Chimera 'enraged'. It was time to FOFO. "Everyone ready? This is it," she called out, her voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through her.

Steffan adjusted his borrowed robes and whispered a quick incantation, skeletal hands briefly flickering around him. CCMD reared up in attention and, along with Chrissy and her troll, all four nodded a reply in unison. Michelle, blood still running down her face from where Hild had clocked her, melted into the shadows, disappearing entirely, while Kris looked up from holding a around Pete and Hild and winked at her. Finally, Zorrobar raised both his hands to the air fire dancing at his fingertips.

"We're a go, Pete!" Lorelei yelled.

In response, the Adamantine Sentinel raised and hammered his shield down into the ground once more, unleashing his Skill to cause a shimmering barrier of light to expand around him, offering enhanced protection to all within its radius. “Stick close, lads and lasses. This’ll keep us safe from the worst of it,” he barked, and they all hurried forward to stand within the cone of light.

Once they were grouped up, Kris expanded the scope of his to envelop them all, and sat down, eyes closed and cross-legged. "Okay, guys, here we go. Remember, if I ask for a mana potion, don't be shy. It could be your arse I'm saving . . ."

"Fuck it, here we go. We all good?" Hild asked, not waiting for a reply before running a little way to the group's left, raising her axe and summoning a spectral raven that flew straight towards the Chimera, cawing loudly. The Raid Boss' attention snapped towards Hild, its eyes narrowing. “Face me, serpent! By Odin’s fecund cock and balls, you shall be royally fucked!” she shouted, activating her taunt.

The Chimera hissed, its forked tongue flickering as it lunged towards Hild. triggering, but Hild was ready. She dodged to the side, her axe flashing out to strike the beast’s exposed neck.

Lorelei - the group having decided they would need every advantage they could get - took advantage of the distraction and activated , giving it the full 'Single Ladies' routine as she did so.

Unleashed: Fortuna's Herald flips a coin, and I will accept the appropriateness of a 'girl power' routine right now, what with that Amazonian Milf being quite the little tank that could. This failed attack would have unleashed the snake, as it were, but let's keep that back for a bit.

Original Attack Outcome: [Negative Result] Chimera loses 'tethered' status and is free to chow down all players.

New Attack Outcome: Your coin toss makes the Chimera suddenly very sensitive to pollen. I mean, you didn't think it would all be gravy, did you?

Damage Dealt: 10 HP. Boom! You're chipping away at it now! A few more hundred of them bad boys and it might even notice you're there.

The Chimera started to sneeze uncontrollably. The sight would have been comical without the deadly context, but the beast's reaction gave the team a brief respite, enough to position themselves strategically.

Leaving in place around the rest of them, Pete charged forward, his shield leading the way. He slammed into the Chimera’s side, momentarily forcing its attention away from Hild. “Ower here, ya great ugly bugger!”

The Chimera roared, and its tail lashed out in response. Pete braced himself, his shield absorbing the impact as he cast to ensure his feet braced to the ground. With that Skill active, he could feel the power behind the blow, but his defences held firm.

***Heads Up! Lots of Incoming Fun Message***

Lorelei did not have a chance to read the Message properly as a load of pools of venom began to form around the cathedral grounds, hissing and bubbling. The group found that they had to constantly reposition themselves to avoid the toxic sludge that threatened to engulf them. On its own, this wasn't too much of an issue, but considering they had planned to turtle up inside the double bulwark of Pete and Kris' defensive Skills, it was a bit of a bugger that they were suddenly all running hither and thither in a wholly exposed way.

And then things began far too chaotic for even Fortuna's Herald to keep track of . . .