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Autist Isekai
Autist 9—Cliches Are Important

Autist 9—Cliches Are Important

The sun beat down, baking my head.

"It'd be funny if I ended up in a maid outfit beating up low elves for money." I said.

"Wizard, how did you even come up with that?" Ouji asked.

We neared seven hills rising in the distance. Each hill rode into view as we approached, rings of stone walls ascending to the top. Four hills were the 'commoner hills,' full of barracks of commoners. They were given food and housing, lived all day doing nothing much. Sounded like NEETs. When Ouji told me, I puzzled over what kind of society Nephilz has. Why would you have a majority of the population not doing anything?

"The fifth hill in the center of those four. That's the Artist's Mount. Hohemi has her boutique there. She's almost killed me three times, so I avoid it these days."

And so Wizard avoided the center hill for all eternity.

"It's also where our Expedition Leader, one of the strongest in the world, has her famed tavern, the Laughing Dragon. A notorious hangout of homunculi, rebel low elves, hybrids, and adventurers. You'd be right at home there."

Imouto is one of the strongest in the world? But she's twelve. I asked Ouji about her.

"Her age is unknown. She may look young, but..."

Ah, a good cliche. She's actually three trillion, so, anything sexual of nature is okay for her in media, in japan, for those who are already shunned by society. I suppose it's okay for a lolicon to die. I wouldn't expect a lolicon to say anything else. "I'm a lolicon and I am completely proud of that! Violating young girls is nature taking its course! It is society that is wrong!" I wasn't born in Ancient Greece. Safe to say pederasty doesn't exist here— right? Ouji! Exposition, now!

"Sexual relations with the young? Of course it does. The young are no different than the old. Do you have your eyes on anyone?"

Stehy, plan to conquer Nephilz. 「Acknowledged。」We'll need to purge this inferior culture right away. 「Agreed。」

The low elves need reeducation as well. 「They will serve us, before long。」Stehy? That's so omnious. 「You were the one who ordered the takeover of a city。」That is true. Well, I always wanted to take over the world.

And so within a few seconds I went from "I'm going to sightsee!" to "This city will be mine to command. It's culture will be obliterated, and my superior morality will reign over theirs." I have rules, you know? It's very important. It is very important to keep cliches! Slaves in an isekai? Okay. Rape? Pushing it, but it's fine if it's offscreen, or the isekai is edgy like that healer one where he brainwashed the girl who tortured him into his love slave. Violence is standard, boring. But the children?! Please, won't someone think of the children?!

"Anyways. Ouji. You're an idiot, a very convenient idiot. Do you mind if I install you as my political puppet on the throne after I murder your family?"

"You're joking. Please, be joking." Ouji balked.

"I'm not joking."

Ouji groaned. It was more a whining-groan than a oh-god-my-family-is-going-to-die groan. This isn't the first time he's gotten a deal like this, I guess?

"If you spare a few of them who are even more harmless than me, and my evil gay sister, then we have a deal. And, I'll need to live to see the throne, so you'll be bound to protect me from my evil gay sister's assassins."

Hmm. What an odd way to respond. He must be hard pressed from his situation to gleefully go along with my plan to usurp his throne and become the Shadow King. I'm not okay calling myself the 'Shadow Queen.'

"You're that desperate?"

"Why do you think I'm here, on this expedition? I spend most of my days cooped up in the Laughing Dragon, as close to Imouto as possible. The girls there are of the highest quality, as well, but that is another matter."

Why do I feel like Ouji would be at the Laughing Dragon all day even if his 'evil gay sister' wasn't trying to kill him? 

"Please explain more about this, 'evil gay sister.'" I asked.

"Half-sister. My father had a mistress. She is a hybrid, one of the Valahir. To the far north, there's this massive castle full of demi-goddesses, and my father was able to convince one to bear him a daughter. Her name is Cheru, and she's in love with this silent moon elf with a monocle named Elu. I have no idea how she got her hands on a moon elf. I've always wanted one, myself, so when I made overtures towards both my half-sister and her lover, she got upset. The assassin's never stop of late. I hear she also wants the throne herself. She never met her Valahir mother, so I suppose this is her way of getting her attention."

Wow. Moon Elf, huh. So, I thought there were only low elves, but a Moon Elf must be really rare. 

"Moon Elves are from that city on the moon, right?"

"Yes. They cut off ties with us for unknown reasons, but I've heard legends they have rabbit girls as well."

I see Ouji's head is only concentrated towards certain places. Imouto's expedition crossed through the gates of Nephilz, the first hill. This hill, the 'Adventurer's Mount,' had my main target. I'll do the cliche first, because cliches are important. Then, information gathering with Stehy. Ouji said he'd pay for lodging in the Laughing Dragon for me, so I don't need money. I made sure to clarify that I would need a seperate room. He understood. I'll need him alive, after all, if I am to install him as my political puppet. It's not like I want to sit on the throne myself, after all, and the culture needs purging.

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It's still easy to back out now and say, "well, this is how they do things in this world, guess I'll buy a slave and exploit her for sex and dodge tanking in a dungeon," or, "pederasty was common among many cultures on earth even in the modern era, and a great deal of it still probably occurs behind the scenes anyways away from the public eye! This isn't your problem!" I had competing thoughts on it, but in the end, I'm still fooling around. After all, Yarko, my supposed strongest, lost to bear. How strong could I be? Conquering Nephilz is but a dream!

I never liked telling people what to do in the first place. I never knew what I was doing as an autism. But, since I'm here, since I'm an Anime Girl, I'm going to give this life my best shot and live up to my ideals! Take over the city I know next to nothing about! Let's go!

And with that, I entered the adventurer's guild with Ouji. This is it. Cliches! Cliches! 1 yen equals .0091 USD equals 0.14 South African Rand! I'd ask Ouji about money, but since he's paying for my expenses there isn't much of a point. Plus in all those isekai I read, money is mentioned, but it rarely become important to the plot at all. It's just 'wow, you got this! and this! and the mystic sword of whatever that's going to be useful once and then never show up again!' Very video gamey. 

Maybe it's the sense of progression and the thrill of getting something new? It's like buying something you don't need in real life just to feel good about having it. I never liked wasting money on anything, except for junk food. That was my vice. I'll have to learn to hold back this life for the sake of Anime Girl's figure. Do I? I never really cared about my appearance in my last life as an autist, so, why change?

I felt a rumbling from the back of my ear. Ah, Anime Girl doesn't like what I'm implying. Well. I suppose I'm no longer alone, so I can't just do whatever I want and be a lazy slob. I'll do my best to minimize my lazy slob tendency, as well as maximize my time being lazy!

The Adventurer's Guild was empty except for a low elf stationed behind the counter. There was no board full of quests either. How does this work? I asked the low elf, the low elf had hair covering her eyes, perfect for a mob character.

"This is the registration building. We handle quest registration, payouts for quest completions, registration and updating of Adventurer's Cards. Taverns like the Laughing Dragon post quests, with the general strength of the Tavern's Adventurer's in mind. If you aren't a certain rank as an adventurer, you won't be able to accept quests from higher ranked Taverns."

So, Laughing Dragon is Rank SSS+. Naturally. Imouto is the world's strongest, so she has the highest tier. I wonder why the world's strongest is running a Tavern?  

Ouji paid the registration fee for me. I noticed they had paper money. Tch. No 100 copper = 1 silver and 100 silver = 1 gold here. Coins are a fantasy staple, what are you doing?!

"Okay, time to measure your strength." The low elf with hair blocked eyes blocked pulled a scouter straight out of Dragonball Z out from under the counter. There are moon elves. Maybe they left this behind? The low elf put on the scouter. 

"Oh. I've never seen this race before. 'Anime Girl.' And your clothing... they are separate entities? Would you like to register them as well?"

I thought the low elf was going to bug out and say 'her mana is over eight thousand' or something. But, the low elf isn't impressed at all. 

"A question, first. Aren't I amazing? Compared to the rest of the people in this world, am I really amazing?!"

"You could probably destroy the world. Now, onto the registration fees—"

"Care more about my power level!"

"Oh. I'm sorry. It's just I've met many strange existences before. You're quite normal, in my eyes."

"How am I normal! Everyone was calling me a homunculi! I'm totally special! One of a kind! I'm an Anime Girl who could destroy the world, you said it yourself!"

"Ahh, well... you'd think so, right. But, I've seen so many strange people that it's gotten kind of... 'as expected, another ridiculous existence. Please, I'm not trying to be mean. You're very important and could cripple me and my family within a second, it's just, that goes for so many these days..."

Suddenly, I feel bad for the low elf.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted... to be special. I guess." I laughed. Ouji forked over the fee for three more cards. I'm a gold digger, aren't I? I'll become a responsible person someday, I swear. Only three, huh? Guess Anime Girl herself is a two-in-one deal with me.

I got the cards and checked them over. Everyone is rank SSS+. That clears that up. I thought Yarko was weak losing to that bear... and, Stehy was totally hiding her power level. She has this spell called [Aircraft Carrier]. She can summon the [U.S.S. Enterprise]. I don't know if it's the aircraft carrier or the space ship. I want to ask, but I'll wait for a time when Yarko and Niji are out. 

After all, Yarko's physical power is over the max. Perfect for a tank melee. Should I get her a sword? I know I'm getting one. Even if I never use it, I still want one! Yarko's magic is all written in some ciphers I can't read. It was familiar to my eyes, but I couldn't remember where they were from. Looking at them made my eyes blur, so I skipped over to Niji's card.

Niji has terribly low physical, but so much magic that the card just went [ETC] past a certain point. It was all in tiny letters, too.

"Well. That's comforting." I sighed. I thought I was playing an eternal struggle isekai. Looks like I got my wish of being OP after all! I'll give a maximum Tentacle Beam to whoever disagrees! Does this mean Negi is SSS+ too? Or, am I just really bad at using my ability? He did seem skilled. "One more question, are bears really strong in this world? Like, SSS+ rank strong?"

"Bears? You mean the 'Forest King(female).' There's only one left, one of the strongestest guardians of the world of Errera. Even Imouto couldn't win in single combat. It was a bad match up, anyways, the Forest King(female)'s 4th phase where she summons the Angel Treasure Hoard is impossible for anyone without strong area of effect capability. Nations of old have fallen in her wake."

Good to know, I'll avoid bears with crossed arms from now on. I turned around. And there, a bear with crossed arms! I flinched and threw my scarf at it's face. Go for the eyes, Yarko! As my vision resolved, I realized it was just a muscly guy. I laughed. 

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bear."

The muscly guy grinned at me and handed me back my scarf.

"That's the best compliment anyone has ever given me. Take care, little girl."

I waved off the muscles happily and went with Ouji towards the Laughing Dragon. I feel so glad to be alive. Alive and OP. Now, time to take over Nephilz! Oh, but, food and sleep first. And then maybe lazying around. There's shopping. And quests. Anyways, it's not like changing society happens overnight, even with my knowledge of 'that' from the other world, it's not like I can just subject everyone in a culture to my personal whims.

I'm an outsider three or four times over, after all. An Autist, an anime girl, extremely powerful, from another world. Who am I to tell these people how to live? Who am I to conquer a nation and bend it to my will?